In The End
by Chikifriend
Summary: Kenji is a rebellious teenager, and Kenshin has to raise him on his own. When Kenji’s grades aren’t the greatest, his teacher requests an interview. And the teacher happens to be Kamiya Kaoru. [AU KK]It’s not easy being a single parent. RR plz!
1. Broken In Two

**IN THE END  
By: Chiki Yumeshisa **

Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin………all original characters are mine to claim….

AN: Hello again, everybody! This is a story I have posted once before, but since my account was deleted this will be updated every week once again. I hope that you will enjoy it, and due to demands, I have decided to repost.

Enjoy!

>Chiki

**_Warnings: None._**

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_Summary:_ Kenji is a rebellious teenager, and Kenshin has to raise him on his own. When Kenji's grades aren't the greatest, his teacher requests an interview. And the teacher happens to be Kamiya Kaoru. It's not easy being a single parent and even harder to forget. Then, what happens in the end?

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**CHAPTER 1  
- Broken In Two - **

The dishes were piled high in the sink, and a strange odor hung in the air. The kitchen, as usual was a mess. As I had predicted, last night's dinner plates were still on the table. A few coke cans were scattered about, two of them carelessly strewn on the floor. The dark liquid was oozing out of one of them.

With a sigh, I picked it up, holding it by one end. I was a meticulously neat person, and I hated mess. I thought I had told Kenji to clean up. It looked like he had ignored me all together and decided instead to hold a party. And he didn't clean that up either. The dining room was no less dirty, as I found the pizza boxes with half-finished pizza still sitting there.

I carefully placed down my pack. After having lugged it around all day, it felt like a ton of bricks and I was grateful to get it off my back. I placed it in the corner before starting to clean up.

Somewhere in the house, the sound of rock music played – that meant Kenji was home, and I hoped, without his friends. Luckily for me, there were no stains of pop or any more dirt littering the living room or the carpets. It would take me forever to brush those stains out if there had been any. I did, however, catch sight of a flower vase that was broken.

How wonderful.

I had half the mind to get mad – but that would do nothing. Even if I got mad at Kenji, he would brush it off. I had to admit, I wasn't the world's greatest father….not even an experienced one at that. It would be a long, tiring argument that would get no where, and it would just be easier to clean up. I had work to do.

It took a while to do that. Cut up glass had to be dealt with carefully. Just my luck, my vacuum cleaner had decided to die on me just the other week. Not wanting to take any chances, I used the broom and put all the broken glass into a bucket. It would not be pleasant at all for a piece to go right up one's foot.

The flowers were dead already, trampled, the petals shriveled, the stems broken in two. It was like a person lying on the floor, bleeding their life away, helpless as they lay in pieces…….

Mechanically, those went into the garbage can, and the mess was mopped up. Then the dishes were washed, each one with specific careful administering. They were to be washed first, then soaped carefully. Then, they would be rinsed. The counter would be wiped, and then the dishes were to be rinsed again to make doubly sure the soap was gone. And again, the counter would be wiped to be sure it was dry. Then each dish was dried separately and carefully.

My own father would laugh at my routine, saying that I was too careful and too neat, but that was the way I was I guess: particular about everything. I didn't like life when things were rushed.

Drying my hands on the towel slowly, I went to go find my bag. I had reports to fill out, and even though I was tired, I had to do those first. As I passed the living room, I caught sight of my mail box.

It was heaping with envelopes, half of which were probably bills to pay, and the other half were useless magazines and coupons. I picked those up swiftly, and gathered them into a pile to be tucked under my arm as I went downstairs.

As much as possible, upstairs was restricted, the kitchen the only thing used. The couches were rarely sat upon, and as there was no television or any electronic equipment there, Kenji spent his time downstairs in the basement.

At the moment, he was lying on the floor, on his stomach, facing the television that had its volume cranked up to almost its full peak. His legs swung in the air in time to the rhythm of the very loud rock music he was letting blare from the speakers of our stereo.

In front of him, sat a text, open to page thirty-four, and a book, with nothing yet written on it. He was accompanying the music with his voice at the same time watching The Simpsons. Homer was laughing as the dog tried to run after its tail.

"Kenji!" I called, putting the envelopes in my hand down on top of the low rise table we had. I sat down on the cushions surrounding it. "Turn down the music!"

But he didn't hear me, continually singing along, his head of dark red hair swaying and bobbing with the beat of the drums.  
I didn't particularly like rock music – Linkin Park, I do believe - but I couldn't tell him what to listen to and what not to listen to, so I tolerated it. Just not this loud….

I tried again, but my voice was lost as the guitars picked up a crescendo and drowned me out of awareness. Thus, I got up and crossed the room, lowering the volume a little, but not turning it off.

He looked up, with a scowl. By the look on his face, I could tell he did not know when I had entered the room.

"What?" He demanded, sitting up fully.

"Just turn it down." I said calmly, watching as his glare flickered over me briefly and then turned away abruptly. He never answered, and shrugged. I wondered vaguely what he could be thinking. He turned his attention away from me to watch as the little yellow characters ran around the screen.

Satisfied that at least he had listened, I went back to my seat.

Swiping my own mess of red hair back with my hand, I began to take out my books.

It had been a long day, and I hadn't known so many people could complain about one thing. Luckily for them, I had patience and I could be stretched. So long as I didn't snap, people were safe.

I had snapped once, and it had not been pretty.

I arranged the files in alphabetical order so I could get through them faster. It was rather onerous to do the same thing again and again, but I guess I had to do this.

Which reminded me that I had to do my bills too. I had been late paying them the other month, what with a tight schedule. I was probably penalized for it too, and I certainly didn't need to have that on my case.

After arranging everything, I sifted through the stack of envelopes. Yes, I had neglected many more bills than I had expected. My mind raced with all the payments I had to make. And where was all the money I was giving the government going to?

There were letters from my friends from up in Kyoto, asking me how I was doing. I put those to the side, intending to read them later before bed. I wanted to get the payments over and done with.

Just as I was about to start opening it up, another letter caught my eye. It was in crisp white envelope, "Himura" scrawled in scraggly characters at the top. I did a double-check: there was no return address.

For things like this, one had to be careful. God only knows what could travel by mail and I had heard of stories – the missing link was what they called it. They would have no return address and the person who opened the mail would get mysteriously sick and die in a couple of weeks if not days.

So I cautiously opened it, checking for anything suspicious.

There was nothing, only a single piece of paper that came out easily when I shook it. On the top, in that same scraggly writing were the words "To the Parents of Himura Kenji."

With alarm rising in my throat, I opened the rest of the letter. Did it have something to do with the courts again? Kenji's case was always so difficult, and I had had many sleepless nights trying to fix things up.

My fears were not confirmed and I was relieved to find out it was merely a letter from his teacher. It was signed at the bottom, _Kamiya_.

It was a parent-teacher request form, and the teacher was practically begging me to go meet with him. It didn't say why, it just said something that held urgency. I glanced at Kenji, who had fallen asleep to the sound of another cartoon. I think it was transformers or something. So he wasn't doing well in school again. I thought I had this conversation with him a long time ago.

I guess I really wasn't up to arguing with him that day. I just wanted everything to be over with and for me to go to bed and fall into a blissful sleep. Being a man that fell into depression at the strangest times, I could just feel it creeping up again.

Hurriedly I signed the sheet, and agreed to meet with this Mr. Kamiya the very next day. I placed it into a new envelope, sealing it shut, just in case Kenji decided to peek into it. He would get mad at me again, saying I was prying into his life again. Useless arguments with him was the thing I tried to avoid the most, and we had both settled into a comfortable agreement that we would both try not to piss each other off.

Now, the question was, would I be able to get him to give it to his teacher without throwing it out?

I got up from my seat again, to go put it in his book bag, but yet another letter caught my eye.

When I saw the person it was addressed to, I grew cold all over. A rush of adrenaline pumped through me, and for a moment, I didn't know whether to faint or to vomit. Since both were not on my to-do list, I snatched it up and shoved it into the closest drawer I could find. It belonged to the china cabinet I had set up.

The day needed to go by much faster than this, I realized.

Much, _much_ faster than this.

**To Be Continued…….**

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AN: As usual, I hope you enjoyed. This idea had been plaguing my mind incessantly and I thought to give it a try or else I'd go insane. I hope that I get enough reviews. Please do leave me a small one by

Clicking that button!


	2. Mistakes

**IN THE END**

**By Chiki Yumeshisa**

Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin……all original characters/ideas are mine to claim.

AN: Hi guys! Thanks for the wonderful reviews! I am so inspired and feel so special. Anyways, I wanted to let you guys know that this story is set in modern day Japan as it is what I am most familiar with. With that note, here's the next chapter!

**_Warnings: None. Rated PG._**

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**CHAPTER 2  
- Mistakes -**

Breakfast consisted of eggs and burnt toast. There was some evidence that bacon had been tried, but did not turn out successfully. The burnt clumps still sat in their oily grave, clinging onto the frying pan. They were still sizzling, a clear sign that the pan was still hot. It would be a hassle getting those to come off. I could already picture myself scraping at it.

I met Kenji's eyes curiously. I raised an eyebrow in question, before sliding myself into my seat. Usually, I would be the one to cook breakfast.

He hunched his shoulders over his food. "I was hungry." He thought to explain. "It doesn't help when you are late waking up."  
I poked at the egg that looked like it hadn't been cooked thoroughly enough. In all truth, I would rather have had rice and soup, but I didn't say anything. This was certainly a change, and I didn't want to tread dangerous grounds. I did feel a bit irked though: was a man not allowed to sleep in once in a while?

"Well, thanks." I said dryly, finally plucking a piece of the egg into my mouth. It was all I could do not to gag at the amount of salt he had poured onto it. I wondered if he had done that purposely. With the way he was gobbling up his food, I figured he didn't. I masked my discomfort by swallowing back the tea that was ready and made. Thank goodness he had managed to make the tea right. After swallowing, I managed to choke out, "Just let me do breakfast from here on in, okay?"

He began to butter his toast, letting out a grunt. That was probably all I would get from him.

I cleared my throat after picking up the hard as rock toast he had made. Hearing the crunch from his own toast when he bit into it, I decided it would not be worth it to break my teeth trying to tear my way through mine. "Kenji…….how's school?"  
His dark blue eyes flashed. "What's it to you?"

I put down the piece of toast.

It was about to begin…..

"I am just asking." I told him.

"It's fine." He all but snapped.

I knit my fingers together, willing myself to be patient. This was a child who seemed to stretch it to the max. I had yet to snap on him, but I didn't want to do so with my son. "How are your grades?" I prodded.

Kenji got to his feet, the chains he wore on his pants' legs clinking as he made his way to the sink to put the dirty dishes in there. "They're fine too." In went the dish, and it probably would stay there until I got home later that night.

I picked up the tea again, realizing that I didn't have much of an appetite. I took a small sip to clear my throat again. "Apparently they're not…..I got a letter from your teacher the other day."

He froze, his back stiffening. The back of his black t-shirt said the words "THAT'S IT" in big red lettering. A few Japanese characters were written in white around it, but from the distance, and with my eyesight, I could not read them. His hair was swept up into a ponytail that was high.

"So," I continued, "I am going to meet with your teacher today, after work. I want you to give the letter to him. Even if you don't, I will go anyway."

Kenji spun around angrily. "Why don't you just lay off me?" He cried.

I winced inwardly. "Kenji…."

"Just get off my case!" He stormed out of the kitchen, before I could get any more words out.

"Kenji!"

He was always defensive, I guess, and I had to understand him: I was that way too. I knew we weren't in the best relationship with each other, but recently, it had just been getting worse rather than better. I guess I had some blame to that. There was nothing to say, and I waited for a while for him to cool off.

In a few moments, he was back in the kitchen, rummaging through our refrigerator for a lunch. His backpack was slung off his shoulder carelessly, the zipper halfway open, his books threatening to fall out.

I wondered if he had finished his homework the other night. Of course, I didn't ask. Great, was I intimidated? While his back was turned, I quickly threw out the remainders of my uneaten – in my opinion, inedible – breakfast, and went to wash the dishes. I had a few more minutes to spare before I got ready for work.

Slamming the door to the fridge shut, Kenji got up, flicking his bangs away from his face, irritated. He had let them grow unevenly, and I guess I never bothered to tell him to cut it, because my hair was even longer. Why I kept my hair long, I guess I didn't know. Most people thought it looked strange, but I was just used to it.

My boy was almost as tall as me, which is not very tall if you think about it. I was a little over the five-foot mark, but compared to my other friends and co-workers, I was the shortest. He had a thin frame, which worried me sometimes, because I wondered if I was feeding him enough. A pale complexion and spindly arms and legs made up the rest of him.

There was just that attitude that had built, and was really hard to cope with…..as he preferred to wear what he liked, I had sent him to a high school where there were no uniforms. That, and the fact that he had been kicked out of his other schools.

At the present moment, he was downing a carton of milk, as was his habit every morning. Once done, he crumpled the box up and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, and then, wiped that on his pants. I grimaced; there were such things as napkins for that. "So, where's the letter?" He demanded.

"It's in an envelope. Don't forget……"

"I won't." He answered. "I'm going now."

I blinked, as he turned and made his way to the door. I followed him and watched as he slipped a worn pair of tennis shoes onto his feet, and made a mental note to myself to get him a new pair. The least I could do for him was make him look presentable. "Take care now." I told him.

He seemed to snort at that, and pulled on his backpack after zippering it closed. Good, at least he had noticed.

I hovered there for a while, and stopped him before he could leave. "I'll be late coming home tonight, so I'll just bring home dinner."  
"Don't bother." Kenji replied, "I am not coming home tonight."

Shaking my head, wondering if I had heard right, I asked, "What?"

"I'll be staying over at Yahiko's." He said. "So don't bother."  
I stuffed my hands into my pockets, unsure what to say. He did that often, going places without telling me. It worried me sick, but at least this time he had had the courtesy to let me know. "Oh, okay." Was my lame response.

Kenji seemed uncertain what to say next, so he hoisted his backpack onto his shoulder more firmly and nodded slightly at me. "I'll give the letter – see ya."  
I found myself waving a little, and stopped myself. I had to get ready.

**0-0-0-0-0-0**

It's funny how people don't seem to watch where they are going sometimes. Either that, or they just didn't see me.  
Walking down the busy streets of Tokyo was not exactly the greatest. People jostled and pushed, and some spoke too loudly for one's interest. Noisy school girls dressed in their dark blue sailor uniforms giggled amongst themselves right in the middle of the sidewalk. Honestly, why couldn't they get out of the way?

They seemed oblivious to the swarm around them, as they spoke of the latest news and gossip that was going around. The good old days of being young. Being naïve and clueless…..innocence that was almost bliss, until the world crashed down around you showing you how wrong you were.

I almost got run over twice that day. I knew perfectly well that it was my turn to cross. After all, the red light had turned green and the sign for pedestrian crossing had blinked. And they had the nerve to yell at me as if I was the one at fault.

When it happened the third time, I was getting peeved. Unfortunately, I had no car, and I would not want to drive a car in the heavy traffic. Don't get me wrong, I had a license….but a car was too expensive for my liking. The bus fare was enough to get me to and from work safely, though hassle was always part of the bargain.

My stomach growled unhappily up at me, as I had not fed it since that morning. I had had no time to grab a bite to eat for lunch, and I hadn't thought to bring a snack, so food was in order.

Checking to make sure that my wallet was still in the back pocket of my worn out jeans, I entered the nearest noodle house I could find. I would be damned if another car tried its luck against me.

The smell of smoke was in the air, as well as oil and bread. Not a good combination, but I couldn't complain. I had had my fair share of cigarettes time and again.

I was about to get a small bowl of ramen noodles, when a boy shot past me, nearly knocking me over. Thankfully, I didn't have a full bowl of hot soup in my hands or else I would have suffered from burns. I jumped back with a startled cry.

"Stop! Thief!" The owner yelled.

But the boy was already out the door, the small bell attached to it jangling crazily as it slammed shut behind him.

Not thinking twice, I ran out after him.

It was not a daily routine, running after eat-and-run punks, but my mind registered the fact that he could be caught, and situations like this could be prevented. Thus, I chased him down the street, nimbly slipping between people's bodies, as the boy crashed through them, making quite a scene.

He was fast, I had to admit, but I was faster.

I caught him by his collar, and he jerked violently at the contact of my hands actually managing to grab hold of him.

By that time, I was panting. Despite my short legs, I was prideful of the fact that I was fast.

The boy had light eyes and a head full of sand brown hair. He was wearing a uniform, indicating that he had just come from school. The first four buttons of his white collared shirt were open.

His voice was angry. "Let me go!" He cried.

I gathered my breath. "Sorry kid," I said, my voice sounding a bit raspy. "I can't do that."

He struggled against me, but could do nothing. An elementary school boy, and a quite feisty one at that. Were kids getting worse and worse as years went by? His face was red with embarrassment as I practically carried him back toward the ramen store. That run had taken up at least fifteen minutes of good relaxation time. By this point, I was ticked.

I slumped him down in a chair in front of the head owner, who was not at all pleased.

It got worse when the police became involved, and then, the child's parents. It seemed that they were not Japanese people, and had come all the way from Germany. The kid's name was Yutaro. They were not happy with him.

Well, I wouldn't be either, if it had been my son. It occurred to me that perhaps Kenji had done this too when he was Yutaro's age. I would always have to fish him out of trouble nowadays, so I could sympathize with these parents.

They were nice people, and I listened patiently as they spoke to the police and to the store owner. I wanted my food and I wanted a shower, but I had to wait until they were done. They turned to me at the end, as their son hopped off the chair, eyes downcast.

The father reached out and took my hand in his. "Thank you very much, Mr…..?"  
"Himura. Himura Kenshin." I offered, a bit wary at the contact of the man's hand on mine. He gave it a firm shake. I managed a weak smile.

By the time I got my ramen, the sun had set.

And by the time I was done, I was late for my appointment with Kenji's teacher.

It was 6:20 by the time I reached the school, and I must have looked like a mess. My appointment had been at six sharp, but I had miscalculated the time. I hated being late for anything.

It was in my mind not to bother going any more, but it had been my fault, and I wanted to make sure that the poor guy wasn't still waiting for me.

The school was not as big as most were, but it still gave off the impression that it was serious about education. From the moment one walked in through the doors, photos of graduates and award-winners that were plastered on the hallways walls, greeted them. The lights in a few of the classrooms were still on, indicating that the teachers were not yet done with their work, or that students still had some clubs going on.

Outside, the track-and-field team was still practicing, running laps around the school building. I could hear the whistle of the coach sound, its shrill wail making a chill run down my body.

Ignoring that, I made my way to the school office after catching my breath. I had had no more spare change and had had to run all the way to the school. Normally I would not have minded, but then I would never have a pack to carry. Nor was I already worn out both mentally and physically. All of a sudden, I was worried about what I might hear the teacher had to say.

A group of students exited a classroom to my right, and upon passing me, they gave me quizzical glances. I was just some guy with really long red hair, a plain sweatshirt and worn jeans standing in the middle of their hallway. I glanced away, and stepped into the office.

The secretary looked up. She looked about ready to leave, but despite her fatigue, she gave me a polite smile: finally, someone with a bit of normalcy. "Can I help you sir?"

I gave her a small nod. "Yes, I have an appointment with someone by the name of Kamiya-sensei?"

The woman, whom I knew went by the name "Fujiwara" because of her faceplate on her desk, glanced at her watch. "In room 328." She said after a while. I just hoped he hadn't already left.

Thanking her, I made my way to the stairs. I couldn't say I was all that pleased to walk up three flights, but since elevators weren't common on school grounds, I was resigned to doing so.

And then I had a hell of a time trying to find the room number, as for some strange reason, the numbers weren't all in order. I was not a very happy person. I would be in an even darker mood if I had come all the way there for nothing and Mr. Kamiya was gone.

I got to the right door after wandering about for about five minutes. It was the classroom all the way at the end of the hall, and if I hadn't bothered to go down it, I would have missed it all together.

Cautiously, I poked my head in, as the door was wide open. I expected to see no one in, but was surprised by a figure who was sitting at an oak desk.

It looked like the teacher was not in the room any more.

I began to back out.

"Hello?" Whoever it was called out to me.

I paused and then reluctantly walked back inside. I didn't want to be rude or anything. "Um, hi." I muttered. "Kamiya-sensei is…..?"  
She didn't let me finish. "You must be Himura-san, correct?"

_A woman._

My cheeks heated up at my mistake. I had expected to see a man of about my age who was built and round. Instead, I got a raven haired woman, who was slim and beautiful. She looked no more than 23 years of age. From a distance she looked like any other high school girl. Personally, I thought she was quite young to be a teacher, but I would never say anything of that sort out loud.

I managed to find my voice. "Yes, that's me." Well, duh.

She didn't seem to catch my blundering, because she got up from her desk, a smile plastering onto her oval face. She had bright blue eyes that seemed eager and innocent. She was wearing a long black skirt and a cream colored top. Not bad in the fashion sense – simple but neat. I must have looked like I walked out of a garbage truck with what I was wearing.

She gave me a formal bow before shaking my hand. "My name is Kamiya Kaoru." She gestured for me to take a seat on one of the chairs, so I did so, all of a sudden really uncomfortable. I would be talking with my son's teacher, who seemed to look no more than his older sister!

Not knowing what to do with my hands, I folded them over my lap, after placing my bag down next to me. "I-I'm really sorry I was late. Did you wait long?" I ventured.

Glancing at her wristwatch, she shook her head. "Actually, I lost track of the time – I had papers to mark anyway." She gave me a sheepish smile. "I almost forgot our appointment." She admitted, with a little laugh, "But you are no doubt Kenji's father!"

So I was told. We looked alike, my son and I.

She leaned forward, her black ponytail falling over her left shoulder. "I'll be frank with you, Himura-san: I'm really worried about your son's progress in school."

I held in my sigh. If only she knew how much I was as well. "What's he been doing?" _This time_, I added silently.

"Well," Kaoru seemed to hesitate. "For one thing, he hasn't been showing up to classes. The word they use nowadays is 'skipping'."

I didn't know whether to get upset or feel numb about that, so said nothing in response. She continued though. "As you well know, it's a race out there in education these days. If your son doesn't clean up his act, I don't know if I can pass him onto the next grade. And what's scaring me is the fact that he doesn't seem to care."

"You've spoken with him already?" I asked, shifting my position in my seat.

Kaoru nodded. "But for some reason, he doesn't want to pay attention. Today was the only day I saw him for the last three weeks. I thought I'd bring it to your attention since you were his father."

What could I tell her? That he wasn't going to listen to me either? I decided to ask my own questions. "I see….and what subject do you teach, Kamiya-san?"

"Science." She answered. "Biology to be exact."

Kenji had been taking biology?

"Is it only _your _class he's been skipping?" I asked, skeptically. Of course, my thought had been that perhaps he didn't really like Biology….or perhaps didn't like her. She seemed to get the hint.

Leaning back in her chair, she huffed, "Please do not get me wrong, Himura-san, but I take great pride in what I teach. I'm not like others who get paid so long as they teach and don't care for their students. As a teacher, I want my students to respect me and have the want to learn."

I felt bad for hitting her directly like that. I looked toward the windows, where little plants had begun to grow. No doubt a project of some sort. Pictures of the human anatomy were displayed on the side wall, and a small statue of a brain was sitting there too. It fascinated me. I didn't have a passion for biology, but I certainly didn't hate it.

I pulled my attention back to her. She was frowning. "I wanted to ask you if he mentions anything about wanting to drop out….."

"He never mentions anything to me." I replied, and then instantly regretted saying so.

She didn't seem fazed by that comment, but instead, she pressed on. "Does he do his homework?"

"Yes." _And no._

Kaoru didn't seem convinced. "He is a very bright boy…."

I smiled a bit at that. "I know." I answered. I didn't like the way it was turning out to be more of an interrogation than an interview. I felt like Kenji had done a crime or something. "Tell me, Kamiya-san, how does Kenji act when he is in class?"

That was a question she didn't seem to have been expecting. She crossed one leg over the other as she thought. "Well, he is very quiet." She concluded finally. "He doesn't like to be called upon in class, and he definitely does not like to volunteer his answers."

I stared down at my thumbs for a moment, before asking, "And if you were to tell me his current mark right now….."

"…….it would be a failing grade." Was her immediate response.

Well, I had been expecting something of the sort.

"Will you talk with him?" She asked, quietly.

I wanted to laugh. Laugh and tell her that if it was possible, I would. If he would listen to me, then I would. If he would not make me waste my breath, I would. There was probably only one person on the earth who could make that kid listen. How little she knew of Kenji! And how it seemed to grate on my nerves…..

"I'll see what I can do." I said, getting up from my chair. Kaoru didn't seem happy with that answer. "I'll talk to him." I promised.

A small smile touched her lips. "Thank you." She said quietly. She got to her feet as well. "I will be calling you back if ever I see there is something that is of concern." She was ever the business-like person. I found myself nodding.

"Good night, Himura-san." She bade.

"Good night."

With that, I left the school.

A failing grade?

_ It is customary to bow upon meeting. Thus the reason why Kenshin was squirmish when Yutaro's father instantly did a handshake. Also, schools usually have uniforms, but there are some that don't.  
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**To Be Continued………**

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AN: So the chapters seem a bit mediocre, but it's meant to be that way. There are past problems of course, and reasons to why Kenji is like this. Forgive me, I am not a middle-aged man, nor am I a parent, but I am trying to make it as believable as possible.

Am I doing a good job?

Please let me know, by clicking that button! **remember, if you want to be part of the mailing list I am starting, please leave your e-mail in your review somewhere, even if you are logged in, and let me know. SEE YOU ALL NEXT FRIDAY!  
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	3. Arguments and Lies

**IN THE END**

**By Chiki Yumeshisa**

Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin…….all original characters/ideas are mine to claim.

AN: Um…some people have begun to believe that I hate rockers. Actually, no I don't, as I happen to like rock music and have a ton of friends who are rockers. Not to mention that my sister is a rocker and I love her dearly. Sorry to have caused some confusion. Kenshin may not like rock in this story, but I happen to. (Linkin Park is cool.)

**_Warnings: Swearing. Rated PG13. (wow, rating went up already?)_**

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**CHAPTER 3  
- Arguments and Lies -**

I was not impressed by the interview at all. I did not know whether or not I liked his teacher, with the way she seemed so…..poignant in her subtle ways.

I was not of the mind to meet with her again, actually. If I could avoid her at all costs, I would. I could only hope that Kenji made it so. But, I had promised her to talk with him.

He was not home, as he had said, so I was alone in the house. No lights were on, and the way it was left was the way I returned to it. This time, however, there were no dishes waiting for me.

And something about the way the house was so dark and foreboding made me want out. So I deposited my pack onto the kitchen's table and got a drink of water. I intended to return later, and as jeans were not comfortable to run in, quickly changed into a pair of track pants.

Even though I was dead tired, I just couldn't stay. The phone rang, but I didn't feel like getting that. I wasn't hungry either, as I had eaten before the interview, so I left without taking a bite of anything. Maybe if I went for a jog, I'd fall asleep without having to think too much.

The temperature had dropped in comparison to the way it had been earlier that morning. It was starting to get a little chilly, but by the time I realized this, I was already two blocks down the street. I could get lazy sometimes, and I decided that if I kept up a good tempo, I would not feel the chilly air.

I began to jog, hoping to work up a sweat at least. I hadn't done this in a long time, as I was really busy, but the news that Kenji was not doing so well in anything made me edgy. I managed to keep up a nice pace, concentrating on my breathing and for some strange reason, keeping the beat of my footfalls in time with one of Linkin Park's songs called _Numb_.

The jog became a brisk walk, and then, became a normal rate. I guess I couldn't keep it up for as long as I had hoped.

I passed a park on the way, totally oblivious as to where exactly I was. It made no difference really: I would find my way back.

Not able to stand the cold any more after an hour or two, I ducked my head into my sweater as much as possible and began to trot back. It took me much longer than I had expected, and by the time I managed to fumble with my keys in the doorway, I barely caught the telephone as it rang loudly in the darkness.

Switching the light on and wincing at the pain it caused, I grabbed it, before the answering machine could get it.

My voice sounded scratchy. "Hello?"  
A man's voice answered. "Is this the Himura residence?"

I sucked in my breath. "….Yeah…" I answered slowly. "Is there a problem?"

"We've got your son." My blood seemed to slowly start freezing at his words. Ransom? I almost missed his next ones. "….he's at the police station right now."  
Police station?

"What?" I asked, confused. They must have been mistaken: Kenji had told me that he would be at Yahiko's. Yet….he had a tendency to lie…….

"He was found drinking at a bar." The man, who was a police officer, was saying. "We held him under arrest. At the present moment, he is too drunk to know what is going on. We ask you to come gather him."

My hand was shaking as I reached for a paper and pen. Police stations were scattered all over the place, and he could have been at any one of them. I quickly jotted down the direction and location, praying that I would be able to read my own illegible print. Thanking him, I fumbled to put the phone down.

I cursed in my mind as I pulled on a thick jacket and went back into the cold.

Again.

It was times like these I wished I had a car.

**0-0-0-0-0-0**

Hailing a taxi was not very fun. They all either seemed occupied, or they were going the opposite direction and could not come to pick me up. I was about to give up and take the bus, when finally, one had the decency to stop and inquire.

The driver was a man who looked younger than me. Probably new to the job, because he sounded so cheery. "Where to, sir?"

"The police station." Was my reply, climbing into the back seat.

His eyebrows shot up, teasingly. "Oh, are you in trouble with the authorities?"

I gave him a pained smile. "No, my son is there. Could we make this quick?" I didn't want to sound rude, but I was anxious to get Kenji back so we could both get out of trouble. He seemed to understand, and began to drive. He made small talk on the way.

"What'd your son do, so early into the night?"

I glanced at the houses and stores as they whizzed by. "He got himself drunk."  
The man laughed. "Well, that isn't new: kids these days, I tell you – they're all the same."

_Tell me about it_, I thought darkly. I shot him another smile, and he continued. "My daughter is turning sixteen this year, and she thinks she can do whatever she wants." He turned us down another street. "I heard rumor she had a boyfriend." He nodded toward me through his rearview mirror. "What would you do, if your daughter started dating at such a young age?"

My mind swirled at his question. I felt sick to the stomach again.

"I…um…..well, I don't have a daughter." I said lamely. I hoped that we'd reach the police station soon, because he was really starting to grate on my nerves like Kamiya-san had. Maybe it was just because I was a sensitive guy. Tonight was definitely not a good night for me.

I had no idea what to say or do when I saw Kenji. In fact, I felt so calm, it was almost scary. The police station was very crowded, with officers milling about, and a few of them had charges. There was one man who was handling himself wildly and in no time at all, a crowd of policemen were atop him, trying to restrain him.

"I'll kill you all!" He was screaming, at the top of his lungs. "Let go of me!" Of course, the police were not stupid enough to listen to him, and pretty soon, he was led out in handcuffs.

Hysterical crying was the next thing that filled my ears. It belonged to some woman that was sitting in a chair right behind me. Groaning inwardly, I cursed my luck: I really didn't want to be there.

In another area of the room three policemen were arguing with some middle-aged men about something. One of the policemen waved his nightstick threateningly. Their voices raised but I was too far away from them and couldn't hear what they were yelling about. I turned away as the three policemen began to pull the men away into a room.

A policewoman blinked at me in surprise when I touched her shoulder and inquired about my son. Most likely she was thinking that I was some criminal as well, and my cheeks heated up for the second time that day.

"What's his name?" Her voice was nasal, her face had a pinched look to it.

"Himura Kenji."

"Hold on a moment." I guess she was in such a rush she had skipped all politeness, because she promptly turned her back and left me to stand there. I would have been waiting around forever – she forgot about me too, it seemed, as she had no idea what I was talking about when I asked her where Kenji was again.

Slowly, little by little, my patience was wearing thin. The noise and the confusion were too much to bear, and I forced myself to stay in my seat and wait.

When she returned, this time, Kenji came stumbling out, reeking of alcohol and smoke. He could barely lift his head, let alone walk properly. His long red hair fell in a wet mess down his back, the tie keeping it up and back lost, the thin strands sticking to his face.

Getting up from my chair, I went to take him from the two who were the ones holding the guy on his feet. He swayed dangerously, delirious and confused. That was clearly evident, as he didn't even recognize me. The two officers seemed a bit wary of me as they leaned his heavy body onto mine. I managed not to gag at his smell. What the heck had he been doused in?

The one standing to my right began to speak. "You do realize sir, that your son is not of age to be drinking yet."

Nodding stiffly, I shifted my weight so I wouldn't be crushed by Kenji's unconscious form. Hoping that he wouldn't start drooling on me or something, I tilted his head back a bit. The policeman had a folder in hand. "He's already got a record, Himura-san."

All of a sudden it was _my_ fault? It wasn't as if I had asked Kenji to go out and intoxicate himself. I found myself nodding. "I understand sir……." I was saying. "I didn't expect him to go out and do this." Well, it was the truth.

He was eyeing Kenji's files – _he had a lot of them?_ – with a critical eye. "He'll have to be placed on house arrest." was the conclusion. He proceeded to tell me a couple of his offenses, which I knew were not the only ones Kenji had committed.

They consisted of stealing, skipping school, brawls, and smoking on a certain street. I half feared to hear him say something like 'trying drugs' but he didn't. Though, I had a suspicion that that couldn't have been very far down that list.

Still, house arrest not only punished Kenji, but myself! Three whole weeks holed up with my son was not something I was too pleased to do. As much as it was denied, we could not stand each other. Added to my pain was the fact that I had to pay for the fines he had accumulated. I was still responsible for him after all. There went my paychecks for the next two weeks.

Of course, I could not argue with him nor did I want to. At the moment, I wanted to go home and get Kenji changed. Of course, that awful smell probably wouldn't disappear very quickly. Thus, I agreed to his statements.

Thankfully, another officer offered to give me a ride home when he realized that I would have to hail a taxi, and I looked like I was having trouble carrying the teen who was just as big as me.

Kenji went in the back seat, and I sat up at the front. I think I fell asleep, and it must be admitted that I was grateful: I don't think I was up to making small talk, and with a police officer no less.

When we reached my three bedroom house, it was close to 11:00. Thanking the officer when he helped me haul Kenji out from the car, I searched for my keys and nearly dropped them in my haste to open the door. I doubt I would have been able to make it home on foot or wait any longer for a taxi. The car behind me sped off as I stepped into the house.

Forgetting about taking off my jacket, I went straight to the washroom. By this point, Kenji had come to a little. He looked more alert, and he tried jerking out of my grasp once or twice, but it didn't work.

I stripped him of his clothing. That smell had to go. I don't remember ever giving Kenji a bath, but that was not going to stop me today. The water was on warm, a little colder than hot though, as I wanted to wake him up.

He came to instantly, with a yelp, trying to get away from the spray, but I held him into place. He flailed, letting out a string of curses and a few other choice words I did not know kids his age already knew. Reaching over him, I pulled down the bottle of shampoo and began to lather it onto his hair. My fingers got tangled as Kenji kept shaking his head to try and rid himself of the invading hands.

Today, bathing rituals could be skipped. I managed to soap him up too. It would be difficult for me to clean up the bathtub afterwards, but that was not the problem at hand. He seemed either to give up struggling or too tired to, because his resistance broke down, and he went limp in my grasp.

Making sure all the suds were washed out, I wrapped him up in a towel, like I would wrap rice in sushi, and got him out of the tub. He went with little complaint and I got him into his room, sitting him on his bed. He seemed to sway a little, and then sat watching me, sullenly, his eyes like two angry orbs.

I pulled out a yukata for him to wear and helped him shrug it on. He helped himself when it came to putting on his boxers. Warm and dry, I pushed him under his blankets, helping him to lie down.

His words were slow and slurred as he blinked up at me when I tucked the sheets under his chin. "I hate……I hate you……" he whispered. My hands froze, and then they worked again, pulling Kenji's hair out from behind him to lie fanned out over his pillow. I would not take the time to brush it out or dry it for him. It would have to do that on its own.

I already knew he hated me. It just hurt like a million bullets to the chest when it came from his lips. What was the saying, "the truth hurts"? Well, just to let you know: it did. I was smarting from that remark, but I didn't say anything. Instead, I gathered the fallen towel on the floor and went to go back to the washroom to clean it up. I would never be able to sleep with the thought that something in the house wasn't neat.

Kenji must have listened to my ranting about being tidy because his room wasn't a big mess as I always feared it would be. Unless it was absolutely necessary, I would not go into it. I believed in letting children have their own space and private time. My own father would not hear of that, as he would come in uninvited all the time.

On the walls were posters of music groups, and random pictures of ads. Even his desk was tidy. His school books were piled neatly there, pens to one side, pencils to the other. His backpack was sitting on his chair. The floor was a bit cluttered, with his clothing and a few of his video games. I nearly stepped on FINAL FANTASY TACTICS ADVANCED. Absently, I picked that up and put it on his dresser.

A few action figures were there, along with photos. A few of his classmates and a picture of……

I recoiled from it.

But I didn't fail to see how happy he had been.

I went to put out the lights and closed the door behind me, leaving Kenji alone, snoring softly on his bed.

**0-0-0-0-0-0**

Ironically, I was the first out of bed even though I had gone to sleep at almost one in the morning. Having been too exhausted the night before, I had not been able to take my own shower, and so decided to do so when I woke up. I'd have had to wake up to go to work anyway so it would have been useless to try and get some more sleep.

When I walked out of the washroom, Kenji shot in after me. I heard him start retching into the toilet bowl, and I winced. It sounded like his guts were coming out next. I did not care to hear that, but I guess I understood how miserable vomiting could be. I was next to him in a moment, patting his back pitifully, not knowing what else I could do. He flinched away though, when he realized I was there.

"Don't touch me!"

I backed off a bit, as he pulled away from the toilet seat. Oh the joys of a hangover. He deserved it, I guess. Pardon me for my disdainfulness.

He doubled over with pain, clutching his head as a pounding headache took its toll. Growling under his breath, he staggered away, back to his room.

After slipping into a pair of black jeans and another normal sweatshirt, I made my way to the medicine cabinet. Grabbing a bottle of pain killers and a glass of water, I met him in his room. He was bundled miserably in his blankets again, this time, sitting up with a garbage can right next to him. He looked unsure whether he wanted to throw up or lie down.

I handed him the pills which he took wordlessly and swallowed down. I didn't expect a thank you, so I got straight to the point.

"Kenji, I am not pleased with what you did yesterday." Yay, captain obvious. Still, I was unable to express the disappointment I felt.

Kenji handed me back the glass, which was still half full, roughly. "Didn't I tell you yesterday to lay off me?"  
I felt my anger spark. "If 'laying off you' gets you drunk, then I'll rethink the option."  
"I am old enough to know what I'm doing."

God, I wanted to hit him. I didn't though, because it would solve nothing. "That's _really_ responsible of you, Kenji. You earned yourself house arrest for the next three weeks you know."

"Fuck you." He snarled.

"Fuck yourself." I shot back. "I wasn't the one who lied and got caught by the police." I was beginning to snap. I guess all the tension from the last couple of days had built. "You're only fifteen! The hell you know about being old enough."

He looked shocked at my words. He hadn't expected me to retaliate at his level, and he didn't know how to respond. He should have been thankful I wasn't like my father. I continued, "Keep it up and you might just kill yourself one of these days."

"Maybe I will." He muttered, pissed. "It's better than listening to you all day. Get out."

I really wanted to slap him one good, and I barely restrained myself. "This is my house, and I make the rules." I told him, daring him to say something back to that. He knew there was no where to go. He was under my custody and since he was not old enough to live on his own, he'd end up living on the streets.

Kenji lifted a hand to his pounding head. "Why can't you just leave me alone?" He demanded. His voice had gotten small, almost as if he was in despair.

"Because." I answered, coldly. "I am your father and I am in charge. You had better start cleaning up your act."

He didn't seem to be in the mood to argue, and just as he was about to lie back in bed, he bent over, grabbing the waste basket to him and hurling. I handed him the unfinished water when he was done, and watched him drink the contents greedily.

His eyes were red rimmed and his face was pale. His hair was still in loose strands around his face neck and shoulders. "So, what do you want then?" It took me a moment to realize he had been asking me something. I guess he was anxious to get me out.

"First things first," I took the glass back again and put it on his desk. Biology was the top text book that I saw and I remembered my talk with Kaoru the other day. "You will attend classes and finish all homework. No phone calls for the next three weeks."

"_What!_" he sputtered. It sounded like I had taken away part of his life. Well, maybe I had, but my father could come up with worse. Compared to him, I was being pretty lenient.

I held up my hand to silence him. "You are to go home straight after school because the police are monitoring you. You have a curfew up to 6:00 every day, or you will be arrested."

The guy was growling beneath his breath, but he didn't protest. Lastly, I informed him that I wanted none of his friends over for surprise parties. He glumly agreed to that too. I guess I was being a bit hard, but then again, it was high time I set some rules.

After our little 'talk' I went to prepare some breakfast. Even though it had been me doing most of the talking, I had found out that if pressured to do something, Kenji would. It didn't bother me that perhaps he might hate me, as apparently, he already did. He did eat the breakfast though, and I called the school, informing them that my son was not fit to attend classes that day. No reasons given of course.

The next three weeks looked like it was going to be fun.

God help me.

Streets in Tokyo are very confusing and one can get lost really easily. Smoking in Japan is very common, but on some streets, smoking is not allowed and if you are caught, you must pay a fine that is up to at least $150 US dollars. Also, bathing usually happens outside of the tub rather than on the inside as the tub is used for soaking.

**To Be Continued……..**

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AN: Well, there was a bit of a blow up, and the next three weeks will be very interesting. I hope that you guys liked it, and I will come out with the next chapter next Friday! I love the support I got, and we shall see how this story develops. Please do leave me another review.

Please Click that button. ;


	4. Phases

IN THE END  
By: Chiki Yumeshisa

Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin……..all original ideas/characters are mine to claim.

AN: Hi again all! I hope you had a wonderful two weeks! Here is the next chapter and thank you for your reviews and patience!

**_Warnings:_****_ Mild swearing. Flashbacks. Bear with me. Rated PG13. _**

**CHAPTER 4  
- Phases -**

Due to the little talk we had had, Kenji came straight home every day after school. As usual, he would sit in front of the television and have his music on loud, but I could see him actually writing things down. There was nothing to do but accept the punishment he was given. Actually, I think it was more of the fact that he might have felt a little guilty for what happened the other night.

As for myself, it was kind of easy. He wasn't being a pain in the rear, and I was able to accomplish more of my work. We both realized that if we stayed out of each other's hair we'd be fine. Polite and civil were the two key terms we worked around, although, sometimes, we tended to spout.

I had never really cared what Kenji went to school in, so long as it was decent enough and he wasn't walking around naked. I did get worried a little when I saw him wearing a dark gray shirt that had the words "I HATE LIFE, AND I HATE YOU" written on it. Of course, I didn't say anything. I just hoped that it was one of those phases he was going through. I don't remember being that strange when I was in high school.

I would not be surprised if he went out and died his hair a bright yellow color or something.

It did get me even more suspicious when he asked my opinion on something at the breakfast table the next day. "Is it better to have a big family or a small one?" He was chewing on an apple, his carton of milk by his plate, already half done.

Raising my eyebrows, I put down the plate of sliced eggs on the table. I placed a bowl of miso by him before helping myself to some as well. "It depends on the person." I said cautiously.

"That's why I'm asking you." He told me, exasperated. "What's your opinion?"

I picked up my chopsticks, ready to delve into my bowl of rice. "I guess a small family." I told him. "Why?"

Kenji looked up at me from his plate. He chugged down the rest of his milk before shrugging. "I dunno…..it was a question Kamiya-sensei asked yesterday. I was just curious to know what you thought."

_Since when?_ I couldn't help but be cynical. I shrugged, and took a bite. Yes, rice was definitely better than bread. "What do _you_ think?" I asked.

He seemed pensive, as he started to eat his breakfast slowly. "Well…..I think a small family is good, too."

Finally, something we agreed on.

I smirked. "Being the only child so you can get spoiled?"

He returned the smirk, the corners of his mouth turning up. "It makes no difference whether I am an only child or not: I don't always get what I want." There was a sound of hollowness there, when he said those words.

Tilting my head a little, I decided to poke and push my luck. "So what is it that you want, Kenji?"

He got up from the table. Apparently, the conversation was ended. "You know." He said tightly, grabbing his back pack from the floor and slipping it on.

Summer was fast approaching, and it was getting warmer during the days and at night time, the weather would be freezing. Again, I followed him to the door to see him off. "You don't have a lunch…" I pointed out.

"I can manage." He answered.

"Do you want some money? I might have…."

He waved that off. "I'll be fine." He pulled open the door. "I'm leaving."

I nodded, worriedly. "Okay. Take care."

"I don't see why you care if I do or not." Kenji muttered beneath his breath, before slamming the door behind him.

If you tried to show a bit of understanding or concern, it would offend him. If you didn't, it would still offend him. What was a person to do? Shaking my head, I went to go get ready for work.

>-

Drunkenness is bliss.

The room swirls and the whole world moves as you stand still. It's quite interesting actually, because even the colors seem to blend together in a strange artsy way.

And anything anyone says does not matter. In fact, you find it funny. You find everything funny: even your laughter seems humorous. Then, the strangest things will look beautiful, even if they're horrible.

My head sinks to the table as I try to gather my breath. Yes, every breath hurts. It rattles my insides like living fire that is running wildly. What the heck was put in my drink? I guess it's my fault: I did order the strongest stuff they had on the house. But this was one hell of a drink.

Someone is saying something to me, but I don't understand what it is. Something about a woman. No, I do not want a woman. I want to be left alone. My words are slurred as I say that, but for some reason the person does not want to leave me alone.

Tears fall down my face, as the person tries to get me to stand.

"It doesn't matter….."I moan, trying to shrug the fingers away. "…It doesn't matter."

"It does, Kenshin." The voice is saying.

My head shakes, and I try to get up. His hand is under me, supporting me as I slump forward. I am like some rag doll whose strings are cut and I hang limply. I don't care.

Underneath me, the solid hardwood floors seem to swim. And I feel like I'm drowning, so I pull rapid breaths, each one like a miserable jagged glass stuck in my system, in a panicked manner. I want to hurl. The tears drip down my chin and onto my shirt, and with a breathless sob, I pull away from his hands.

His voice is careful, his hands still supporting me despite my strange attitude. "Watch it, kid." He murmurs. "You're not yourself."

"It doesn't ever matter." I muttered, letting my glass fall to the floor. It breaks into shards both big and small. I think it makes a beautiful noise and a wonderful display. Apparently he doesn't think so, as he curses.

"Shit, Kenshin! Watch out!" He cries, pulling me away from the mess that I made.

I get angry. I don't like it when people shove me around. I don't like it when people tell me things that I don't want to hear. My stomach is gurgling up at me, and it makes me mad. I lash out, my hand swiping and hitting him across the chest. He stumbles back, grabbing my fist and stopping my pathetic onslaught of attacks.

He is saying something, but I can't understand again. All that is in my mind is the thought of despair: there was no hope. No matter what I did…….

_No hope..._

_>- _

I was in the middle of getting ready to go home and punch out, but a co-worker by the name of Komagata Yumi stopped me. I felt my cheeks go red as she pushed the telephone towards me. She was always intimidating, as she had a commanding air about her always. What was with all those low cut tops anyway? If she leaned forward any more, her breasts would have spilled out from her shirt.

Embarrassed, I glanced away, taking the phone from her. I managed to mumble a thank you and then turned to see who it was on the other line.

It was probably Sanosuke again, as he was in town. For the last couple of days he had been pestering me to get together with him and do something fun. Actually, I knew he was worried about me, again. So when I was told that I had a phone call, my mind drifted back to that time…..

And when I realized that it wasn't him on the phone, I was jolted back into the present.

"Who is this?" I demanded, as I had not quite heard the first time. All I knew was that it wasn't the voice of my friend.

"This is Kaoru: Kamiya Kaoru? Kenji's biology teacher?"

I relaxed a little then. She seemed to press on, her voice urgent. "I'm really sorry to disturb you at work, Himura-san, but it's about Kenji…….."

"Didn't he go to class?" I asked, a bit irritated.

She sounded miffed. "Yes, he did, but it's not about that. I need you to come to school right away."

Now the anxiety was back. "What did he do this time?" A list was running through my head: damage to property, illegal drugs, suicide…….. I scratched that last thought, but my hand did tighten over the telephone's slim white handle.

"I can't explain right now, Himura-san, but if you will kindly just go to where we met before……" She trailed off, and she must have covered the mouth piece with her hand because I could hear muffled voices but could make no sense out of any of it. It sounded heated and tense. Then the line clicked as if she forgot that I was on the phone all together and hung up on me.

Now flustered I put down the phone as well. God, I hated being a parent. There was always more than enough to think about. It kind of frustrated me too: why couldn't Kenji be a good kid like every other parent I talked with? Their kids were little princesses or scholars bringing home awards and trophies, while mine brought me tickets and fines along with hangovers and records.

Grabbing my pack, I stuffed everything else into it and then went to punch out. Yumi seemed a bit surprised as I practically flew toward the door. "I'm leaving ahead!" I called.

"Okay……good work!" She called back.

Despite her attitude, she was always nice to me. She had a rather nasty side to her and I felt sorry for anyone who got onto her bad side. Whenever Sanosuke and her got into a verbal fight, I ran for cover. However, she seemed rather laid back on me: she liked to make me blush as much as possible though, embarrassing me to no end sometimes.

That was okay with me. She covered for me if ever I got into trouble with our boss. Even though she prodded me for answers to my problems, I just couldn't open up to her. I couldn't open up to a lot of people as I kept things to myself most of the time. It wasn't healthy, but it was better than loading your shit on someone else.

This time, it was faster to get to the school because the bus was right outside when I exited the building. It was painted a strange array of colors, like a painter had come along and closed his eyes tightly, chose any random color every five seconds, and lathered it on.

The bus driver was in a bright magenta color, which looked strangely more pink than red. After giving my bus fare, I took a seat at the very back, far away from the bickering of two men who were sitting up front.

Antisocial? I'd say so.

Rushing past all the people who were exiting the school and gaining strange looks, I made my way up to the correct room this time without having to take so much time just to figure out where exactly it was. I could hear the arguing that was going on in there anyway.

It was a boy and Kaoru: it did not sound like Kenji.

He was there though, sitting on a chair, his arms draped on the back of it, lazily. His lip was still bleeding no matter how much he tried to keep it from spilling. As usual, his eyes were angry.

The tall boy arguing with Kaoru was bleeding down his arm and had a bust lip too. One of his eyes had a nice bruise. It looked like there had been a fight.

"If he hadn't said that……." The boy started to complain.

"It makes no difference!" Kaoru scolded. She finally recognized me standing there. "Himura-san, I called you here because I wanted you to pick your son up."

Kenji snorted. "I don't need an escort to go home, you know." The angry eyes were staring at me hotly.

Just what was going on around here?

Kaoru scoffed. "Yeah, and I suppose you would want the police to start questioning, and for them to escort you home?"

Tension expanding, I breathed. "What happened?"  
The boy interjected. "It was all his fault!"

Kenji stood up straight as I turned my glare to him. "Well?" I demanded. I liked to hear both sides of the story. Unlike my father who assumed everything was my blame, I didn't want my son believing that I picked on him all the time.

"I didn't lay the first punch." Kenji grumbled, flicking the back of the chair sullenly with his thumb. "….All I said was that I wasn't going to work with a prep." He added. "That's all."

That was it? And there had been a brawl over something so immature?

Yet, Kenji had provoked it.

I must have had wide eyes, because I blinked when Kaoru nudged me with her elbow.

I turned to the kid, having no more patience left that day. "Just apologize and that will be that."

The boy sputtered in disbelief. "_What!_ I wasn't the one who….."

"But you hit him." I pointed out.

"Kenji should say sorry too." Kaoru noted quietly. The boy standing beside her smirked at me. I had the thought to deliver him a good whack myself – did he honestly think I was trying to double team him?

My son looked up, a sly smile on his face. His eyes lit up, in a mocking way, and he apologized, after coming off of his seat and giving his classmate a gracious bow and a very humble apology. Either he really meant it, or pulled the lie off really smoothly, because the other boy seemed to forgive him. He went home shortly afterwards.

I knew for a fact that Kenji was bullshitting. He even turned to me and asked innocently, "Shall we go home now, dad?"

Staving off my anger, I nodded curtly. Obviously, Kaoru did not seem to notice any of the pretense, because she cheerily thanked me for coming and announced that the ordeal had gone better than expected.

I couldn't help but watch Kenji like a hawk a he went about slowly, getting his things together. He met my eye, that same mischievous glint was in them, and he looked away. What he was thinking – no, plotting – I had no idea. I was afraid to find out, so I decided to play it cautious.

"Would you like a ride home, Himura-san?" Kaoru asked me, snapping me out of my thoughts. Kenji was slipping his textbook into his knapsack absently, with painful slowness. "I am worried that the police will stop you both anyway and demand what happened…….."

Putting my hands up, I declined her offer politely, but being the type of girl that she was, she insisted. "They might think you abuse him……and might make false accusations."

Now, she had a point. And knowing Kenji, he probably would not try to stand up for me, but rather egg them on. I stuffed my hands in my pockets, and glared at the floor beneath me. "If it's not too much trouble then." I muttered.

Kaoru seemed more than delighted.

Kenji looked a bit stricken. "_You _can drive, sensei?" He asked, incredulously.

She scowled. "Of course I can!" Haughtily she tossed her long black ponytail over her shoulder, and began stuffing her books and things together. If I hadn't reached over and steadied the stack of papers piled at the corner of her desk, she would have had to pick them off the floor.

Her desk was a mess. Three coffee mugs were sitting on the other side of her desk, each used and not washed. Her pens were scattered, as were her pencils. A number of pictures hung on the wall next to her chair, of students, no doubt, who cared enough to give her a photo of themselves.

She didn't seem to notice me staring disdainfully at the clutter, as she began to hoist her full bags in her arms. Being a gentleman, I was obliged, of course, to carry them for her: as if my pack wasn't heavy enough. No grumbling on my part.

Her car was a small blue Toyota Rav 4. It was a bit muddied around the wheels, but that was normal for a car. Small dolls hung from her rearview mirror. If Kenji didn't watch cartoons as much as he did, I would not have recognized the small transformers figures that were stuck onto her dashboard.

My son took one look in the car and pursed his lips. Maybe that was a sign that he disliked her decorations, or then again, maybe it was a sign that he approved of it, but with Kenji, one could never be too sure. Thankfully, he was silent for most of the ride, occasionally answering the questions Kaoru posed to him.

She was a cheerful person, chatting happily about the next project she was going to make the students do: whether biology had anything to do with love and society. It seemed that she was a fantastical girl too. I couldn't help but smile at her innocence. She saw that, and beamed. And strangely, I blushed and looked out the window.

At that point in time, she had reminded me of…..

"So, Himura-san, did I catch you at a bad time when I called?" She asked, glancing at me through the rearview mirror. That snapped me out of my thoughts.

I shook my head, cracking my knuckles uncomfortably. Kaoru winced and glared at me. "Don't do that!" She berated, "The tissues will not repair easily and you will get arthritis when you are older!"

I actually chuckled. "Well, I already am old and I have been doing this for quite a while. I don't have arthritis yet."

She turned her eyes toward the road again, huffing a bit. She turned the corner into my street. "Suit yourself, but don't say I didn't warn you."

I rolled my eyes. "Yes _mother_." I joked.

I could see Kenji scowl from the back seat. He kept his gaze trained to his left side's window after that. He was biting down on his molars because the muscle in his cheek moved every time he clenched his teeth.

Kaoru laughed and reached over to swat me. I hunched and shied away: her punch hurt. Luckily, we reached the house before she could beat me up any more.

It was a small building that was a soft red brown color, made of sturdy brick. The roof was a green color. The gardens were neatly trimmed, a few flowers were planted. The blinds to the windows were closed so that no one could see into the house.

Kenji was out almost immediately, muttering a thank you under his breath as he went. He flew up the porch steps and was in the house even before I could get my seatbelt unbuckled. I shot his teacher an apologetic look for his rudeness, and thanked her myself before stepping out.

She grabbed the hem of my sleeve though, causing me to utter a sound of protest as I stumbled back.

"Himura-san, I am really worried about your son….." She started to say. "And I mean, _really_ worried. He doesn't ever smile and….I just thought that perhaps he was troubled in some way?"

I had to bend uncomfortably to talk to her normally. "He….doesn't like people prying into his life." I said finally. "He has some…issues….."

She tilted her head a bit, staring up at me with those huge blue eyes. "Issues?"

I tensed. "That is none of your business, Kamiya-san." I said as gently as possible. "He's been like this for quite a while….."

For some reason, her eyes filled with tears, and she nodded a bit. "Okay, I'm sorry." She mumbled, firing her engine to life again. The car sputtered in protest and she glanced at me again, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. "I'm sorry…." She whispered again.

I hated seeing girls cry and I felt awful when I saw them streak down her cheeks. "I didn't mean to sound so harsh, Kamiya-san….." I said lamely. "And……I thank you for your concern….and if ever there is another problem, please do not hesitate to call me." I ran my hands through my hair. "Thank you again for the ride."

This time, a smile lit her face and she nodded. She backed out of my driveway and waved before driving her car down the street. It turned at the corner, and disappeared out of sight.

Turning, I made my way into the house. To my surprise, Kenji was not listening to his rock music. In fact, the whole house was quiet. The kitchen light was on, proving that he had been in there earlier. Other than that, everything else was dark. I found his backpack strewn in the hallway carelessly, as he seemed to have just thrown it there without thinking.

The lamp in his bedroom was on, and I cautiously peeked in to see if he was okay. He was lying on his bed, still dressed in his school clothing, hugging a pillow to himself. He lay motionless.

"Kenji……."

His voice was muffled against the fabric. "Go away……."

"Are you hungry?" I asked, after a silence.

"No."

"What's wrong?"

He hugged the pillow tighter. "Nothing." He muttered. I think I heard him sob, I'm not sure. Maybe it was a hiccup.

Not convinced, I began to close the door, but hesitated. "…….Are you sure?"  
Kenji angrily ripped the pillow away from his face. "You just had to bring that up back there, didn't you?" His face was flushed red, a few tears in his eyes.

I held my hands up in defense. "I wasn't directing the comment to you." I told him. "And I didn't think something like that would offend you so much….."

"You knew it would!" He accused. He paused for a moment, before crying out wildly, "I'm not hungry, so leave me alone!"

I lingered at his door for a moment, before closing it behind me. With my back to it, I let my head thump against it. "I'm sorry."

Kaoru's words, "_Perhaps he is troubled in some way….._" rang in my head as I prepared dinner.

**0-0-0-0-0**

That night, I had a dream. No, it was more of a nightmare. It started out like a dream anyway. It was all so blurry, because I was in a place that I knew…..yet didn't know at the same time.

>-

I take the hand that is offered to me, willingly. I smile, curling my fingers around it, and it intertwines in mine.

She smiles at me, and says something, and I can't help but feel so excited. She is so beautiful, her black hair and fair skin seeming to shine. Of course, she is gorgeous in her dress. Like a little girl, she twirls and the fabric seems to catch the air and dance as she shows it off.

She wears no makeup, and she doesn't need it. I tell her so. She is so very beautiful to me.

Her voice is a ringing melody in my ear as she leans her slim body against mine and kisses me.

I melt instantly, my arms pulling her close, but she lets it linger for only a few moments, before she pulls away teasingly.

"Why me….?" I whisper, wanting to savor her warmth.

She pulls me along, down a lighted corridor, her footsteps light and whispering against the floor. The smell of the hall is dank and muffled with cigarettes.

Then, bright lights and white sheets stare at me. My hands reach out to trail them, almost reverently.

"I'm sorry." A voice of a man says behind me.

_No, you're not sorry, you bastard. You're not the least bit sorry._ You walk away right after that, speaking to your friends as if whatever happened was the easiest thing to accept. But for me, it crushes my heart, like a million needles that are able to make strong pillar collapse.

How come?

I curl up in the corner and cry. My chest heaves with every sob and my head hurts as every tear falls. It soaks the flannel pants that I am wearing, turning them into a darker blue color as the cool salty liquid penetrates into the material. I curse the world.

It's never fair.

>-

And then, I woke up, feeling myself trembling. Tears were rolling down my cheeks. Taking a deep shuddering breath, I sat up, trying to calm my racing heart. I suddenly wanted a drink, or a cigarette, but there was none at hand.

I pulled my arms around myself, as my body shook uncontrollably. The blankets were in my lap, tangled. My pajamas felt like it was choking me, so I undid the first couple of buttons to my shirt.

The tears though, wouldn't stop.

They would never stop.

_Families don't tend to be very big in __Japan__ anymore, as it is a small country and the economy isn't the greatest. Also, teachers are protective of their students and if anything concerns them, they take it right to the parent so it will be solved immediately. Thus, Kaoru is not being a regular pain in the ass, but doing her duty. _

**To Be Continued……..**

AN: hey guys, thanks for the wonderful reviews. Um, yes, when it comes to K/K, those of you who know how I write already know that I don't like rushing relationships. It will be K/K in time, but patience is needed. And many questions will be answered. Whenever I switched to PRESENT tense, it was Kenshin's memories. They will make sense in the later future.

For now, please leave me a review, and the next chapter will come out soon!

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	5. How do you Solve a Problem like Kenji?

**In The End  
by: Chiki Yumeshisa**

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Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin…..all original ideas/characters are mine to claim.

AN: Hi everyone! I'm sorry for the late update and I am really, really happy to see that you like what I've got up so far. Unfortunately for me, recovering this story is taking longer than expected so I may have to change my update scheduling if I can't find my chapters on time. Long story short, my computer is being an IDIOT.

Anyway, in response to some reviews: the cultural notes that I leave at the bottom of the page always get screwed over with ffn. I will try to put them separate from the story so as not to confuse anyone. Also, Kenshin and Kenji's relationship is one in that the father does not know the son and the son does not wish to be known by the father.

Too many author's notes. Onto the story.

_**Warnings: CHAPTER FORMATTING IS OFF. PLEASE EXCUSE. SOME MILD SWEARING RATED PG.**_

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**CHAPTER 5:  
- How Do You Solve A Problem Like Kenji? – **

I flopped onto the couch, the next day. Luckily for me, it was a Saturday, which meant I didn't have to go to work. I was, however, looking for a part-time job. Kenji had begun eating so much more nowadays, it was getting harder to provide for the two of us to live off my wages. Especially since I had to pay off his tuition, and his fines.

He was sitting in the basement, in front of the couch, morosely going through the channels. To my surprise, he was wearing a light blue golf shirt, the collar nicely pressed down, and a pair of khaki pants. His hair was up in a loose ponytail, a few strands of hair that came loose were tucked behind his ears. With the way he was sitting there, no one would ever believe that he was a little monster that was terrible when let loose.  
The channels flew by, and lingered for a moment on a show where two people were kissing passionately. He switched it, to a karate tournament, and there it stayed. At least it hadn't been a sumo match – I personally did not see the sport in that game.  
After watching the brown belter deliver a roundhouse kick to the head of a black belter, I turned my eyes to the ad I held in my hands. They were looking for help in a retail store in the plaza close to my house. The only problem for me was, they preferred students. "Kenji, why don't you get a job?" I suggested, turning the paper over. Maybe there was another ad…..

"A job?" He repeated, incredulously. "As what? A stocker?" He sounded disdainful of the idea.

"What's wrong with a stocker?" I demanded, flipping the page again, as there were no more ads on the last one.

I got no response to that. Instead, he asked, "You really want me out of the house that much, huh?"

I folded the ad with a sigh. "No, it's not that. I want you to experience what it's like to work in the business field – and so that you realize fines aren't exactly cheap."  
Kenji scowled. I smirked. "Think on it: it's not like I'm forcing you to."

He shrugged, absently tucking another loose piece of hair behind his ear. He suddenly spun around. "Dad, what does Kamiya-sensei tell you about me?"  
I toyed with the red paper in my hands, and met his eyes with my purple ones. "She tells me the truth: that she's worried about you."

He didn't seem to believe me, because he pursed his lips together in annoyance. "What else does she say?"

In my mind, I mused: it all had to be a dream too. Kenji and I hardly ever spoke to each other so calmly, and about trivial matters, such as what his teacher thought of him. I couldn't help but wonder why he was so worried about her opinion. I leaned back on the couch, lazily. "She thinks that you have great potential, but you don't live up to it." This time, I decided to ask a question. "Why _don't_ you try, Kenji? What is it that you don't like about school?"

His gaze had returned once more to the tournament, absently. His answer was long in coming, filled with anger and force. "I hate it when people tell me what to do." A commercial came on, something about the newest shaver for men. I guess I was a lucky person: I never really had to shave, and I guess that's what my father loved to tease me about.

"Even if it's for your own good?" I asked.

"I don't see how biology would be for my own good." He muttered.

I shifted on the couch, suddenly uncomfortable with a sharp thing that poked me in the back. Glaring over my shoulder at whatever it was, I noticed it was a pencil that had rolled and gotten stuck and had gone unnoticed. "Well, why did you take it?"

"I had to. It's a requirement to get to my next level."

After much struggle, I managed to pull it out. "You know that there will be no next level if you don't do something about your grades now, right?"

Kenji made a face at me. "Since when do you care about my grades?"   
I felt myself shoot him a teasing smile. "Since I started talking with your concerned teachers."

"It's only Kamiya-sensei." Kenji told me, defensively. "Besides, what does she know? She doesn't even know me!"

That much was true, but I could hear her concern for him whenever she spoke to me. She was probably the type who, had she been born in the medieval times, would have likely taken up a sword to protect and help all those who were in need. I decided to pull his mind away from things that upset him. "So……..then, what do you plan to be when you're older?" I asked.

Nonchalantly he replied, "I dunno."

His tone told me that the conversation was coming to a close. I leaned back down, putting my hands behind my head as I did so. "Well, perhaps I can find you another school that might interest you more."

The television switched off, and Kenji got up. "Shit, why do you always try to control my life?" He demanded.

I blinked up at him. He had his hands clenched into fists. How did I manage to get him upset this time? I never got a chance to ask, because he stormed away, up the stairs, and into his bedroom, slamming the door.

He was almost as bad as a girl when she hit her monthly period and was having a bad case of PMS.

I closed my eyes.

How did you do it?

**0-0-0-0-0**

He came out at dinner time, taking his usual seat across the table from me. He was now wearing a black t-shirt and baggy black jeans. His hair was up again in its high ponytail. I was going to take a drink of my orange juice when I noticed something else.  
Putting it down, I reached over and snagged his hand as he made to pick up his chopsticks. In surprise, he glanced up, as I peered closer.

Nail polish.

Black nail polish.

My blood was draining from my face, I could feel it. "W-what's this?" I demanded.

He pulled his hand away, without a word.

"Since when did you start acting like a girl?" I demanded.

"Leave me alone." He grumbled, picking up his chopsticks.

I finished my juice. Okay, so I believed in freedom, but when one's son suddenly starts to…..to _decorate_ himself, it was going to become a problem. I was okay with the long hair, and the clothing, but the accessories were starting to worry me. He had taken to wearing necklaces, which I said nothing to either, even though I wasn't fond of them: that was normal for some men to do, even if his were kind of odd with weird symbols and designs. But now, the nail polish…..well, the next thing I knew if I didn't say anything, he'd start wearing makeup! "I don't think that's appropriate, Kenji."

I knew I was treading dangerous grounds again. He would probably blow up at me, saying something like I was trying to control his life or something. I saw his glare, but I stiffened my resolve. "I will not have my son walking around looking like….that." I finished, a bit lamely. I did not want to criticize his sense of style, but….

"I'll do whatever I want." He said evenly.

_Is it peer pressure?_ I wondered, not knowing how to counter that response. Yes, I sucked at being a parent.

Granted, Kenji and I were mostly strangers to each other, as we had not exactly spent our entire lives together, but we had a mutual agreement: he would respect me if I respected him. But how would he respect me when he didn't think I was keeping up my end of the bargain? In turn, our agreement was failing, and quickly.

Luckily, I was saved from getting into a full-blown argument, when the doorbell rang. I glanced at the clock and it read 7:13. Who on earth would visit at this time? I hoped it wouldn't be some advertiser, because at the moment, I didn't have the patience to deal with them.

Nevertheless, I got out of his seat to go see who it was. Maybe it was the police, ready to let me know that my son had a new offense, and most surely that would not surprise me.

I was surprised however, when I pulled open the door to reveal…….

My father.

Confused, I took a step back. "Dad? What are you doing here?" I had definitely not been expecting him.

He smirked a bit, crossing his big burly arms. "Are you going to invite me in, or are you going to gawk at me all day?" He demanded, skipping the greetings all together.

Speechless, I moved aside, allowing him to sweep in. Kenji, now curious as to who it was, came to see for himself. He was standing in the kitchen's doorway, peering out. He was just as surprised as I was to see the towering figure of my father.

His name was Hiko Seijuuro, a man that had been unable to have children of his own, and thus, along with his wife, had adopted me. Yes, my adoptive mother was barren.

Nevertheless, I loved them both as if they were my real parents. I had never known my real parents, as I had been taken to live with Hiko the moment I was born. I had never really bothered to question or let that get to me. I guess living was enough of a blessing for me and I was grateful for it.

Even though my Dad could grate my nerves the most out of anybody, I respected him a lot. He had many reasons to be disappointed in me because I guess I wasn't a very bright kid when I had been younger. Or so I believed.

He was taller than me, that was for sure. And much more built. Okay, fine, he was in every way different from me. He had long black hair and was muscular. He spoke with a deep resonating voice that was often bitingly sarcastic and commanding. He towered over me easily as he was past the 6 foot mark.

"Long time no see." He said finally, sitting himself down on the couches in my living room. I tried not to wince as he did so, but I couldn't very well tell my father to get off. He'd likely threaten to throttle me. Instead, I went straight to the kitchen to fetch him something to drink.

Dad was right: it had been a long time……..I came back with another glass of orange juice and held it out to him.

He never drank it, instead, holding it between his big hands. He was eyeing me from head to toe.

I lowered myself onto the couch opposite to him, gingerly. "Why'd you come all the way down from Kyoto?" I demanded. It was rather blunt, but I guess I couldn't help it.  
Smugly, Hiko began to drink, expecting me to wait for my answer. "I have reasons of my own." He answered blandly, when he was done. "But, I dropped by to ask you if it was okay to stay here for the next two weeks."

I blinked. Two weeks? Whatever his reasons were, it must have been important. Knowing my dad, he would not want to stay in Tokyo any longer than he needed to.

"S-sure, we have a guest bedroom." I responded. "But……."

"Good, I appreciate it." He interrupted. He got up to go get his things from the car I had failed to notice was parked in my driveway. He came back with two suitcases, and we put them in the guest room. When Hiko wanted business done, it was done right away.  
I had a very strict father.

We settled in the kitchen this time, where he gladly took up his dinner with us. Kenji was not there, as he had quickly gone to his own room to straighten it up: if my father saw it, he would have a fit. Not that he was a very neat person himself, but my mother had been one to rag on us to keep everything clean and orderly, and he picked up on her habits. I guess I had as well.

"You haven't changed." He announced, taking a bite.

I smiled a bit, taking my seat in front of my food once more. "A lot's happened," I admitted, "but I don't think one changes that quickly."

"How are you holding up? I'm surprised you haven't burned down the house."

It was my turn to scowl. "Of course not. We're coping just fine, thank you."

"And the brat?" Referring to Kenji of course.

As if on cue, Kenji walked in again, giving Hiko a small bow before taking his place next to his grandfather.

"Ask him yourself." I muttered beneath my breath.

Was it obvious enough that we were not as close as he had hoped?  
My father instantly noticed Kenji's black nails and demanded if the child had a disease.

Taken aback, Kenji answered in a small voice. "N-no……."

"Then what the heck are your nails black for boy?" Hiko roared. I swear I could feel the floor boards shaking. "If you're not sick, then your nails have no reason to be black. Get that disgusting paint off this instant."

Without a word, face pale, Kenji scurried back to his room. I watched him go, a bit perplexed: why didn't he listen to me? I guess I just wasn't as 'scary' as Hiko was.

"Honestly…….." Hiko was growling. "And dress respectably too!" He bellowed.

I finished my food quickly, the atmosphere tense. Trust my father to rule over a house that was not his. At the moment, I really didn't care, and I welcomed it. If he could put Kenji in shape then I'd be more than happy.  
When Kenji returned, he was back in the attire he had been in that morning, the nail polish gone. He looked neither left nor right, but straight ahead, avoiding our eyes.

"That's better." Hiko grunted. He stood, his chair scraping the ground beneath him with an annoying sound. "I'll wash the dishes." He announced. "Kenshin, I want to talk with you after."

I nodded, a bit wary of trying my voice after his rant. I remembered clearly what it felt like growing up with him. I did manage to give him a grateful smile. Poor Kenji looked absolutely miserable. Well, I guess I would have too, if I had two overbearing relatives on my case.

He sat, picking at his food, his appetite gone. I helped clear the table, and my father had the water running in the sink in no time. "You got any beer?" He asked of me.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. He was a heavy drinker too, not that he got overly drunk and passed out, but he had a taste for it. In fact, he could hold his drinks better than anyone I'd ever met and still stay sober. I had yet to learn the secret. He seemed a bit disappointed by my gesture, but let it drop. Instead, he turned his attention to Kenji.

"How've you been since you left me?"

"Wonderful." Kenji replied, sullenly. Yeah, right it was wonderful. He picked at his string beans, poking and re-poking them. I felt sorry for the vegetable.

Hiko held up a soapy dish, letting some of the substance fall on the floor. Being the person with a ritual when it came to the dishes, I tried not to wince for the second time that day. He was not done interrogating my son though. "And school?"

I met Kenji's eye and he blinked and looked away. "It's……fine."

My father got the catch that he wasn't doing the greatest. "Slacking off already…?"

"I'm not hungry anymore." Kenji said, getting up. "Can I be excused?"

Since when did he ask permission to leave the table?

Somewhat speechless, all I could do was nod, and he all but bolted out the door to retreat into the sanctuary of his bedroom. Did I mention before that my dad didn't know what privacy was?

"Cut him some slack." I hissed to my father, taking the dish from his hand and wiping it clean before returning it to my cabinet.

"You cut him too much," He snapped, "that's why he's the way he is." His sharp tone stung, and I felt terrible. He knew though…..he knew the situation and what had happened, and yet….. I felt my fingers tighten on the glass I held and it began to creak in my anger. I felt his soapy hand over mine, gently prying my fingers off the glass. "I'm sorry," He murmured, managing to take the glass from me, "I didn't mean to say that."

It wasn't my fault…..

I forced myself to relax, taking a deep breath and closing my eyes. I prayed that I wouldn't black out. Why was I suddenly sick to my stomach again? I backed away a bit, afraid to break any dishes. After he had finished doing the dishes, he turned to face me.

Nothing was the same anymore.

**0-0-0-0-0-0**

Kenji was finally done one week of punishment, but he was in for another two. Now that my father had come along, I don't think he was pleased. I could bet my arms and legs that he would rather be in my dad's company than in mine.

"You know what you're son needs?" Dad asked me.

I raised an eyebrow, not bothering to ask the question.

"He needs a psychiatrist." He said.

"Psychiatrist?" I asked, bewildered.  
He nodded. "I talked to him the other day, and it sounded to me like he was suicidal."

I hoped I was hearing wrong. I turned my full attention to him. "What did he say?"

"Something about how life sucks and he doesn't think he needs to keep it."  
There was a tone of teasing in his voice. Damn him! He knew that I would take it seriously. Hide all sharp objects, throw away all the pills, bar the windows: in other words, take all precautions necessary to keep my son from doing that one stupid thing.

"He probably doesn't have the guts to go through with it." My father announced, smugly, seeing the shock written clearly in my eyes. In his right hand, he held a bottle of sake. I could smell the powerful stuff already and he had yet to open it. "But, it is always safe to get him help."

I looked down at the small disk he had in his hand, lightly decorated with small prints of vines and branches. Would Kenji really need to have a psychiatrist? That would be another expense to deal with. Actually, I just didn't want to believe…. "My son is not crazy." I told him.

Hiko shrugged, turning around to open the jug and pouring it into the small disk. He swallowed it back before answering. "I don't think so either, my boy. It's just a warning."

He left, his footsteps echoing down the hall, leaving me standing there, lost in my thoughts.

I saw Kenji walk by. He was in a green yukata and gray hakama. Ever since my father had come over, he had not worn a single black article of clothing. I knew, despite his innocent look, he was plotting something in his head.

But surely it had nothing to do with his death.

He was fine, and would need no doctors. I heard people got worse with the so-called help. I didn't need him put in an asylum. He wasn't crazy…..

Three days went by before I knew it, and I kept my eye on Kenji at all times as much as possible, but he did nothing suspicious. He still ate a lot, and went to bed early.

He was actually finishing all his homework, and didn't have any signs that he was contemplating anything serious. I even caught him chatting with his grandfather and he was smiling.

Smiling!

A bit of excitement and jealousy filled me. Excitement because it was hardly ever that my son smiled. His smile reminded me of his mother. And jealousy because he seemed to be more attached to my father than to me. I know it wasn't right, and it wasn't my father's fault. But I just couldn't help the feeling.

Later, Hiko told me that Kenji seemed to be better, and to relax. I had to admit that I must have aged three years in my worrying. Maybe I had been getting a bit too paranoid.

I almost felt like the three weeks Kenji was under house arrest would never end, and I couldn't help but be grateful for my father's presence. I hadn't pushed the reason why he was here to begin with, but I knew he would tell me in time. All I knew was, that Kenji and I hadn't gotten into a single spat ever since, and I was hard pressed to keep it that way.

And I knew for sure he wasn't going to do anything crazy.

Relaxed and worry-free, I had just come back from a break, when the telephone rang. Before any one else could answer it, I grabbed it.

Maybe I should have thought twice before I said anything.

"Is this Himura-san?" it was Kaoru on the line again.

I had to pull the phone away from my ear with the way she screamed that line out. I grimaced at the machine, glancing sideways to see Yumi staring at me. Apparently, she had heard the shriek from where she was sitting. What did she want this time? Whenever it was Kaoru calling, I knew Kenji did something bad.

"Yeah, Kamiya-san, what is it?" I half expected her to tell me that he had gotten into another petty brawl.

Yumi was making all these faces, causing my face to go red. Damn it.

I ignored her, covering the mouth piece in case Kaoru decided to spout off again: I really didn't need any more embarrassment.

"Hurry!" She was saying, "But don't go here: your son is being brought to the hospital!"

And then the line went dead.

I couldn't believe my ears.

The hospital?  
What for?

My son wasn't crazy………

**To Be Continued……..**

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AN: No cultural notes today. I just couldn't think of anything. Anyway, so Kenji is being brought to the hospital – maybe it would have been better if Kenshin HAD taken every precaution? Please leave me a review! And check my bio for my UPDATE SCHEDULE on this story. ALSO sorry for the formatting of this chapter. I tried everything to fix it, it doesn't seem to work! Next chapter won't be like this, promise!

Click that button!


	6. Running Away

**IN THE END  
By: Chiki Yumeshisa**

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Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin….all original characters/ideas are mine to claim……..

**AN**: THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS GUYS! Makes me so happy. Beware of some dark moments and of course, arguments in this chapter.

**RECAP**: Kaoru called, telling Kenshin that his son was brought to the hospital. What did Kenji do THIS time? Read on!

_**Warnings: Rated PG13. A little on the dark side. No flames please, as you have been warned.**_

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**Chapter 6  
- Running Away -**

**_(0-0-0-0)_**

Ambitious.

That's what everyone called me.

Sano always said I took life way too seriously. How else was I to act? There were some goals that I had set for myself, and I knew that I could reach them.

Despite his happy-go-lucky ways, he was a good friend to me. Taller, thinner, and part of the 'in' crowd. Total opposites, that's what we were. And yet, we were the best of friends, almost inseparable. Girls flocked to him by the dozen, and I…….well, I guess I could safely say I was a loner.

It didn't bug me that much, since I was quite content living simply. I guess I just did not like it when people made fun of me. The color of my hair, apparently, was not a good thing. And my height was what had bullies trying to stuff my head in a toilet when I had been younger.

Thank God university had people with a bit more common sense. I managed to make a few close friends there, even though we didn't see each other very often. Then again, first year was always the hardest.

Sighing, I took a look at the test in my hand. It just didn't satisfy me. I had studied for hours upon end for it, and yet, my results were not exactly the best. Not that they were bad, but I was adamant to do much better.

Beside me, Sano snacked away in front of his laptop. His spiked hair had only grown longer over the summer, and his appetite seemed to have grown with it. We were supposed to have been working on a microbiology project together, but he was engrossed at the moment, playing a game of StarCraft.

"Suck on that, Protoss fags!" he shouted, triumphantly.

I nudged him as a few people glared our way. "Keep it down, Sano," I hissed, "this is the library, remember?"

Grunting, he returned to his game. I guess that meant he heard me: either that or he didn't care.

I returned my attention to the paper in my hand. How come Physics had to be so difficult?

As if sensing my brooding, Sano looked up from his computer, polishing off his pizza and pop. "What's up kid? You looked like your best friend just died."

I returned him a wry smile. "Unfortunately, he's very much alive." I said, ruefully.

He caught my snide comment and sniffed, acting hurt. "Just remind me never to talk to you again."

Smirking, I stuffed the paper inside my binder, and made to get up. We were getting no where, and I don't think I would have been able to concentrate anyway. He watched me with his almond eyes. "Where ya going?" He demanded.

"The guidance counselor." I muttered, stuffing my books into my back pack and then slinging it on one shoulder. "I have to make an appointment."

"You take life way too seriously, Kenshin." Sano quipped, returning his attention back to the computer. "But I guess I'll catch ya later then."

Nodding absently, I pushed my chair back in, as I heard the sound of Protoss warriors dying, and Terran tanks firing.

"By the way, your wife called when you were in class." He said. I usually left my cell phone with him, just in case I would miss any important calls while in class, where we were not allowed to carry them. I felt safer with it in Sano's hands than in my locker. Of course, that meant a larger bill, but he was pretty reliable.

Hearing the mention of her, I felt my glum attitude pick up and I took the phone from him. Sure enough, her name was the first one on the list. I bade him a quick farewell and hurried out of the building into the chilly air.

The Main Hall was right across the street from the library. Leaves of different colors fell around me, like rain as I hurried to cross.

There was still time.

Her voice on the line was all I needed, and I felt myself smile when I heard her answer.

"Hello?"

**0-0-0-0-0 **

I hurried to the hospital as fast as I could go.

Luckily, my father was at home, and he had just been about to leave when I called to ask for a ride. It wasn't often I asked him for favors, but at the mere mention of Kenji in the hospital, it made my blood run cold and fear clench my heart.

He seemed to understand, and even though I would make him late for his appointment, he still agreed to drop me off.

I was out of breath by the time I made it to the automatic double doors. I felt like I had run a marathon even though I had only taken barely ten steps. I gasped and sucked in a few hurried breaths as I waited the three seconds it took for the doors to slide open.

A blast of air hit me, and a whirring noise. It was the radiators and ventilation system. A bit dazed, I hurried past that too, and toward the front desk, where Kaoru was impatiently pacing, arms crossed.

Her cheeks were flushed a pretty pink, and her, mouth set in a straight line, pressed together. She was wearing a light yellow top along with black slacks and black shoes. I guess if I had been paying attention some more, I would have realized that she wasn't quite the little girl I had thought her to be.

She noticed me right away, running to meet me.

"What happened?" I demanded.

It was then that I noticed she had been crying. "Oh, Himura-san…..this is all my fault…….." her voice began to get choked in tears.

Grasping her shoulders, I shook her. This was not the time to break down into hysterics, nor was it the time to panic on my part. Still, I couldn't help but fear for the worst. Keeping my voice as controlled as possible, I asked, "Kaoru, what happened?"

Her fingers tightened on my arms almost painfully. "….He was…..in class and….and….."

I couldn't help but shake her again. Now she was crying uncontrollably. "Kaoru, calm down." I felt like I was talking to a little kid. I remembered how I had kept my cool with children a long time ago, and I realized that I had to do the same thing now or else I'd get no where. I repeated, "Calm down," in a soothing tone, pulling her closer to me.

She seemed to relax a bit, because her shaking stopped and she looked up at me. Her eyes were as big as saucers. "You….you just……right now…." Her cheeks went bright red, and she pushed away from me a little. It was then that I realized what I had said, and I felt myself blush too. Correcting my mistake, I took my hands away from her shoulders.

"Kamiya-san, where is my son?"

Without a word, she pointed down the hall. As I turned to leave, she recovered from her shock and hurried to catch up with me.

"We were doing a project in class, and he just took the knife and….there was so much blood, Himura-san…..I didn't know what to do, and I just called the police, and I……."

I managed to smile down at her. It was quite obvious that she was still over excited about the whole thing, and that I would not be able to get a straight answer until she died down some more. How soon that would be, I didn't know. She led me to a room, where Kenji was sitting on a bed, a doctor next to him.

He was wearing all black again, even up to the color of his hair tie. I could have sworn he had been wearing something different when he left the house that morning, but at the moment, that was not on my mind.

I bust into the room, not bothering to knock. The doctor that was sitting on a chair talking with Kenji, looked up in surprise. He was holding my son's arm, which was bandaged, but the blood was soaking it up.

Oh God…..

"Kenji……." I started to say.

"Dad!" He sounded very surprised to see me.

The doctor got up, moving aside as I ran to Kenji's side. "Why did you do this?" I demanded, snatching my son's wrist and turning it up to examine it. There had been no doubt that he had cut himself open. By the feel of his pulse, it had been rather deep. I almost missed the fact that he had black nail polish on again.

The doctor cleared his throat. "We are trying to stop the blood flow as much as possible. It might come out to three or four stitches." He informed me.

Kenji looked positively miserable. He shot his teacher a doleful glare, but other than that, looked down at the hand still on his wrist, which belonged to me. He knew Kaoru had snitched on him again.

My voice was low and angry. I was tired and confused, emotionally strained and very upset. "What the hell is going on?" I asked.

Kaoru's voice was small. "We were doing the dissecting chapter in our biology class today, Himura-san……..we were working on frogs….."

Spare me the detail.

But she kept going, so I didn't stop her.

"Kenji…..suddenly took the knife and slashed at himself……" She trailed off.

I turned my eyes to Kenji, who seemed to freeze as my eyes locked on his. "I…I…..uh…..I wanted to see what I looked like inside." He lied. The most pathetic lie I had ever heard in my life.

I wanted to scream. Instead, I held him in my glare. "You make me sick." The words that came out of my mouth surprised even me. I saw his eyes fill with tears, and he turned his eyes away.

He got off the bed, going over to the doctor, who held his tongue wisely and left the room.

I never budged from my place, my eyes now staring at a spot on the bed.

A long silence followed.

What had I done?

I heard a footstep behind me. "Himura-san……."

It was Kaoru's voice, timid and worried. I never moved, my eyes still staying trained on that spot. I don't know how long I sat there like that for, but I suddenly felt arms around my neck.

And I heard a choked sob. It had come from me.

The arms tightened, and I looked up at the windows. The sun was still high in the sky, the colors of the rays were like the color of leaves when they fell in the fall. I felt Kaoru's chin touch my shoulder, and a few tears drop…..

"What have I done?" I asked, my voice no more than a whisper. Whatever relationship Kenji and I had carefully built up, was gone. I felt like I had taken a baseball bat and brought down the house made of sticks with one blow. I was an idiot.

"No, it's my fault." Kaoru moaned. "If I hadn't…..oh, Himura-san, I'm so sorry." She whispered.

_He needs a psychiatrist_.

The words rang in my ears loudly. I had denied it, and I hadn't listened. I wanted to get mad at someone, anyone, but I knew in my heart that no one was to blame but me. Yet, I didn't have the heart to tell Kaoru that it wasn't her fault. I was awful, I know…

I was comforted by her hug though. She seemed more miserable than I was, and all that I kept repeating the last words I had spoken, in a daze.

After a while, Kaoru got up, sniffling. "Will you be okay, Himura-san?"

Realizing that she had spoken to me, I glanced up at her and managed to give her a watery smile and a small nod. Before she could say anything more though, Kenji came back in, his face pale, and his arm freshly bandaged. If he was in pain or not, I could not tell.

Kaoru spoke to me quickly, pressing something into my hand. What she said, I didn't know. It was all a blur to me, as the only thing in my existence at the moment was my son and me.

With a last worried glance over her shoulder, she exited the room, with the doctor following suit after he told me that Kenji was free to go.

I got up without a word, my muscles protesting to the sudden movement. Kenji followed mutely, his head down. I don't know how I was able to make my way to the front desk again. But I got there nevertheless and asked to use their phone.

I dialed the first number in my head.

"Yeah?" The person on the other line grumbled.

It took me a while to realize who the person I had called was. In the back of my mind, I must have remembered he was in town, visiting. "Sano, it's me."

Now he sounded confused. "Kenshin!"

I nodded, still too befuddled to remember that he couldn't quite see me.

"Where are you?" He demanded. He sounded like he had just woken up. It wasn't even four yet, but then again, Sano ran a whole different schedule.

"The hospital….." I murmured. "Can you come pick us up?"

A bit of rustling on the other line and then more of his grumbling. "Yeah, I'm coming. I'll be there in about fifteen." I was lucky too: Sano's little apartment was nearby. Long story cut short, he often drove me whenever I had needed the lift to work back then.

Gratefully, I nodded again. "Thanks……."

I guess I appreciated the fact that he had not asked questions, though, most surely those would come later. I really didn't need someone ragging on me though. If he knew beforehand, he would storm in there and make a scene, embarrassing Kenji and I further.

And now, it would be fifteen minutes of torture between me and my son.

There was nothing to say. Actually, I didn't want to say anything, for fear of blowing up on him in front of everyone. I wanted to vent my anger out. How shameful could it be for me? I could not look up at anyone as they passed by; I wasn't up to giving a polite nod or a bow at the moment.

So I ended up pacing back and forth, while Kenji sat himself on a chair close by, fingering the bandages on his arm thoughtfully. He looked resigned, very tired, and sick. His face was pale, and he was shaking. I wasn't surprised to find that I didn't particularly care for his condition. Yes, I was a _bad_ father!

I think the pacing nearly drove the receptionist up the wall because she asked me several times if I wanted to take a seat, to which I declined, of course. And when Sano walked in through those automatic doors, I nearly pounced on him.

I think I needed a beer.

He was wearing gray track pants and a sweatshirt from the GAP. His unruly hair was windblown and as messy as ever. Usually, he would tie it up a bit to stay away from his face, but today, he failed to do so.

Not to mention the fact that he looked like he hadn't shaved for ages. I wondered vaguely if he was trying to put together a beard, because if that were the case, then it didn't suit him at all.

"Let's go." I barked at Kenji, who practically jumped from his chair and onto his feet.

Even Sano winced at my snap. "What's with you?" He muttered, leading the way back, past the automatic doors and toward his car.

"It's a long story." I growled, checking to make sure that Kenji was following us, and not going to get himself run over by the other cars in the parking lot.

I guess I was really angry at myself. If I was a better father, then things like this wouldn't happen. But I was tired of pulling the string one way. Kenji had to help, and he wasn't doing a very good job at it.

Sano's front seat was occupied with his computer, which, he informed me, had to be fixed. So I had to slip in the back. Kenji seemed to hesitate outside of the car for a moment when he learned that we would have to sit together.

"Get in." I ordered, motioning him ahead of me.

Reluctantly, he ducked his head in and got into the car. I slid in after him, closing the door behind me with a slam. I saw Sano jump slightly at that, and murmur something under his breath about his precious baby.

Tension levels were so high that Sano didn't make any other comments but that. He didn't turn up music, doubled his usual speed – which was always past the limit – and got us to our house in half the time it would have taken us normally. I guess he wanted us out of his car, and fast. We were like two bottled sodas waiting to burst.

Correction, _I _was like a bottled soda waiting to burst.

The driveway already held a car, and that told me that my father was home.

Now I was in a dilemma: how could I scold my son if Hiko was there too? And I know Sano would not leave until he knew what the heck was biting at me and causing me to be so…..well, bluntly put, bitchy.

Kenji for sure would feel like he was being put on the spot, and I knew for myself what that felt like. I was really upset though, and if I let this incident pass like the rest of them, then I knew the next time around I probably wouldn't have a son to call my own.

Dad was in the living room, lounged on the couch. This time, I didn't even spare the time to wince or think about the furniture. I deposited my pack on kitchen floor, which fell with a small thump, causing my father to look up.

"Kenshin? You're home already? Were you let off work early?" He asked. He caught sight of Kenji and Sanosuke as they entered the house. "Visitors?" he wondered aloud.

Impatiently, I ran my hands through my red hair, shaking my head. "No, I wasn't let off work early. It was an emergency."

Dad nodded toward my friend. "And why's the rooster here?"

Sano seemed to stiffen with that comment, but he replied, "I went to pick Kenshin up."

Kenji had begun to steal out of the room by this point, casually getting himself a drink of water and then starting to go to his bedroom, where, no doubt, he would lock himself in for the rest of the day.

"Don't you even _think_ of going anywhere Himura Kenji!" I commanded.   
Sano shifted beside me, uncomfortably. "I'd better go," He murmured. "Keep it cool, Kenshin." He gave Hiko a small bow of acknowledgement, before turning his heel and exiting, closing the door behind him. I was grateful that he seemed to understand that this was a family problem that didn't concern him. Most likely, he would ask me about it later, though.

Kenji froze, his shoulders hunched a bit, and he turned around slowly. Now, my father had gotten up from the couch. His long black hair fell in a mess down his back, the tie holding it up, gone.

His words, _You cut him too much slack_, rang in my head.

Controlling my voice, I said, "You have a lot of explaining to do."

"I already explained myself." Kenji replied, coldly. He was still pale and shaking.

I could feel my anger boil. "What you did today was the stupidest thing you could have done!" he stood there, calmly listening and making no outward sign of rebellion. I pressed on. "I know what you were trying to do, Kenji. You weren't trying to 'see what you looked like on the inside'. You were trying to kill yourself!"

My father stiffened at that, his eyes finally falling on his bandaged arm.

"Oh dear God…….." He breathed.

Kenji glared at me. "Why do you care?" He cried.

"Why don't you face your problems like a man, instead of running away?" I flung back.

"Why can't you be more like - " He began to say.

"Don't you even _dare_ to bring her up in this!" My voice wavered, and I couldn't help but notice how my insides had turned into ice at his comment.

His voice dropped into a whisper, and I could tell he was close to tears. "You're the worst father anyone could have…." The tears did fall. "I wish _you_ could have died instead. I just don't want to live with you anymore." He angrily began to rub at his eyes, as if berating himself for being so weak.

So I _knew_ I was a bad father, and I could feel my heart hammering its way up to my throat. "Then get out of my house." I heard myself reply evenly.

My father decided to intervene just then. "Calm down, you two." He turned to Kenji. "You, change your clothing and for the last time, take off that disgusting paint from your fingers. If I ever see them painted again, you can be sure to regret it." He then turned to face me. "And _you_, get some fresh air. You look ready to blow."

And I was.

I hadn't realized that my hands were balled into fists, and I slowly let them relax, taking a deep breath. Then Hiko all but shoved me out the door, not even letting me change into something more comfortable. That was his solution to everything: walk or run it off. I guess it worked, because I often did that whenever I felt stressed.

Today, however, running in jeans was not a comfy thought, so I stuffed my hands into my pockets and began to walk, hoping that my anger would cool.

When I entered the house again, I could hear dad's snoring. It practically made the whole house shudder. I couldn't help but touch the walls to see if they were vibrating.

It was past ten o'clock by that time. I had walked for a good couple of hours and had dropped by a noodle house to eat. It had been in my mind to go get a drink, but I guess I just wasn't up to the bad taste or the hangovers. I didn't need to be stumbling home drunk either, especially in the night.

Chilled to the bone, I made a beeline to my bedroom to get changed into something warmer. The spring wasn't warming up any time soon, it seemed.

It was then that I caught a figure hunched over in the living room. I think I already mentioned that upstairs was usually restricted, yet lately, it was being used a lot. Since Kenji knew how much I disapproved of him sitting on the couch, he was sitting on the floor.

He was dressed in a pair of boxers and a t-shirt with a Spider Man figure on the front. The colors totally clashed, but hey, I was not a fashion freak so I did not care to say anything. He looked miserable and tried his best not to be noticed as I passed. It didn't work.

For a long moment, we stared at each other, not knowing what to do or say. I could feel the raw edges of anger start creeping up on me again, so I began to turn away and resume my original course to my bedroom.

But those big doleful eyes reminded me of her. Yuki often used to do that whenever she pleaded for something or was terribly sad. It had me melted in a puddle of goo in no time at all for her. With Kenji, however, it was different, but had the same sort of pitying pull.

I stopped and took a step forward. No, he would not be the first to speak.

"Couldn't sleep?" I asked, finally.

He pursed his lips and shook his head. "Grandpa snores too loud."

I couldn't help but smile a bit. "I would have thought you would be used to it by now: didn't you live with him for a while?"

He nodded, pushing himself into a cross-legged position. In the darkness, I could see the bandages on his arm. An uncomfortable silence followed after that, and I glanced down at the small coffee table I had placed in the middle of all the couches. White flowers were the centerpiece for it, as it was Yuki's favorite kind. She wasn't around anymore, but…… "Does…does it hurt?" I asked.

Kenji flexed his hand for a moment, and then shrugged. "A little. But it doesn't matter…….." He tilted his head to the side a little, and flicked his bangs out of his eyes. His voice dropped to a whisper. "So…..when do you want me to get out by?"

My anger sparked again. I knew this wasn't a good idea. Growling with irritation, I turned to him. "Why do you always have to be such a dick?" Nice taste in questions, if I may say so myself.

"I thought all kids want to grow up to be like their fathers." He replied smoothly.

Real nice. It was all I could do not to strangle him, but I had to admit, it was a good comeback. I guess his tendancy to be flippant came from me.

Glaring, I said, "I'm trying my best here, Kenji….."

"Gag me with a spoon."

"Maybe I will, if you don't let me finish." I warned. My tone had suddenly gotten serious, the way my dad's did. I saw him flinch and shrink back some.

Peering up at me, he asked, "Why do you like to rag on me so much?"  
"I've already answered your question, it's because you're acting like a prick. Mind telling me why?"

Kenji never answered that. He just looked at his arm and touched the bandages there, flexing his hand again. "Grandpa…..he laughed at me…..and said that I botched it up – that I couldn't even kill myself right……" His eyes filled with tears again, and he put his hands to his face. "I can't go to sleep tonight," He said, almost shyly. "Because…..she's there….."

My mind flashed back to the picture I had seen the other day on his dresser. I felt myself grow sick in the stomach.

I reached over and ruffled his hair. "You don't have to go anywhere." I announced, kicking at the rug a bit with my toe. "But in return, I am going to get you help, and you are going to go to it."

Perplexed, he asked, "Help?"

"A psychiatrist." I told him. "Or else Dad will never let me hear the end of it."

I waited for him to nod, before I looked at the sofa mournfully. "And you can sleep on the sofa tonight, if you want."

Yeah, I was a good father……..

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_ Kenshin used Kaoru's first name and it surprised her. In Japan it is common to use the last name and end it with a –san. Using the first name so bluntly is like a signal that you are lovers or are married._

_Japanese people never bring their shoes into the house. It's a definite no-can-do. All guests must leave their shoes at the door. As for who **Yuki** is, that will be revealed in later chapters, but if you must know, it's a nick name for a person in this story._

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**To Be Continued………**

AN: Hopefully, some answers to questions will be in the next chapter. Now Kenji must go to see a Psychiatrist. This is as real-life as possible as I can make it, all. Please bear with me, and if you can PLEASE do review for me. I have yet to find the other chapters to this story, so I will be announcing my update on my profile. Please check it out and don't forget to review!


	7. Wounds

IN THE END

By: Chiki Yumeshisa

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Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin…….all original ideas/characters are mine to claim. Linkin Park's song, IN THE END does not belong to me either. I just borrowed a few lines from the song, but it respectively belongs to them and in no way do I take credit for it. 

AN: WAI! Chiki wa ureshii desu! (Twirls) I'm so happy to have gotten those wonderful reviews. I am pleased to know that so many people like this. And thus, here is the next chapter.

**_Warnings: Rated PG13 for mild swearing._**

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**CHAPTER 7  
- Wounds -**

_One thing, I don't know why, it doesn't even matter how hard you try……._

Kenji didn't go to school the next day.

Or the day after that.

His arm had swollen to the size of a bee hive – in my opinion of course – and even though he tried to deny it, I knew it was painful. He could hardly move the limb, so it was quite obvious. If I didn't know how to raise a kid, I definitely knew how to nurse wounds. And trying to pull the stitches out on one's own was not a smart thing to do while it was in the process of trying to heal. That much, I knew too.

I saw him trying to do that as I entered his bedroom that day, with an armload of his laundry that I was finished. He was lying on his bed, stretched out, a manga on his pillow. He was absently trying to pry the stitches out of his arm, which was red and puffy.

"Kenji!"

My shout made him jump, causing one of his legs to kick the blanket on his feet to the floor. He barely saved his manga from falling too, and he quickly shut it. He looked up at me with round eyes, trying his best to look innocent.

It wasn't the manga I was worried about though.

"What?" He asked.

I dropped the laundry onto his desk. "Don't do that, or else it will get infected more."

"But dad, it…..it's irritating." He whined, correcting himself quickly.

I shook my head. "That will come off when the doctor deems it good and ready to. Don't touch them again, or I'll tie your hands behind your back." I announced.

Making a face, he made it a point to spread his arms apart. "Let me see its condition." I reached over and snatched his wrist. He winced and I pulled my hand away in shock. He was burning hot. I felt his forehead. He was sick.

Cursing inwardly, I got up. "Damn it, you've got a fever."

That was not good on my part. I had taken the two days off work just because I was worried Kenji would do something stupid again when I was gone. I really didn't need to be called by anyone telling me he was in some sort of mess. I would save myself the trouble of running all over town just to keep up with my son.

"I'm fine." He mumbled, glancing down at the manga's cover.

I felt his forehead again. "No, you're not fine. I'll need ice and a cloth, along with something to bring that down. You put on a sweater: it's best to sweat it out."

He looked ready to complain, but in this, he knew he wouldn't win. So grumbling beneath his breath, something about me being an idiot, he went to his closet to pull out something to wear.

I came back with a Tylenol, a pack of ice and a cloth. I had him lie back, with his head raised a little, and made him as comfortable as I could. Then, I checked on his arm again and went to go retrieve the medication I had gotten for him.

Since we had been in such a heated situation that day, I had totally forgotten to get him the medication. But I had had my fair share of stitches and wounds, that I knew exactly what type of medicine to put on it, even without the doctor's prescription. He was already asleep by the time I started to apply it.

Dad walked by then, fixing the collar to his shirt. He poked his head in. "What's going on?" He asked. I guess he had heard my yelp.

"He's running a fever…." I said, worriedly.

He clucked his tongue thoughtfully. "Well, you should know what to do."

I nodded absently and he wandered off into the kitchen to make something to eat for dinner. I soon followed him, to see if he needed any help.

"You got a few phone calls today." He said, throwing in some chopped vegetables. Since he knew that Kenji hated snow peas, he put them in with a lavish hand. Even in that, Kenji would get no rest.

I pulled the sleeves to my light sweater up. "From who?" I asked.

"Well, Sano called and asked for you to call him back. Then someone by the name of Chou…..and finally someone named Kaiya."

"Kamiya." I corrected. I had expected as much. The water I had turned on, came out scalding and my fingers retracted from it. I popped them into my mouth to try and sooth the sting. "Kamiya Kaoru."

I saw my father raise his eyebrows. "Is that so?" he mused, mixing his concoction with a pair of very long chopsticks. "And who is she, pray tell?"

_Poking into my business again_, I thought. I guess life would never change. He would always do that when I was younger; asking me who every girl on the phone was and then teasing me mercilessly over each one. I got the same reaction from him again that day.

"She's Kenji's biology teacher at school." I supplied, grudgingly.

He whistled between this teeth at that. "A teacher? And your son's one at that! Are you really over…….." he stopped himself and poked me in the ribs with his elbow. "…….have you two been dating long?"

There went my face again as it turned a bright red color, matching my hair perfectly. My father guffawed like there was no tomorrow. I snatched the pot I had filled for the miso soup and brought it to the stove to heat. "_No_, Dad, we haven't been dating at all." I made sure to emphasize every word. "In fact, I haven't even been seeing her, let alone think about her."

Hiko smirked. "Well, you can stop grinning and blushing like an idiot." He had cornered me and suckered me into his lure.

I found myself scowling, trying furiously to keep the blush from spreading all the way to my ears. "What did she say?" I asked, attempting to change the subject.

He shrugged. "She wanted to know how Kenji was doing." He paused and then with a flourish, added, "And of _course_, she wants you to call her back too."

My effort to stop the blush failed miserably. I could only nod, like an idiot.

And if Chou called, then for sure I was in trouble at work. I know I had left in the middle of my shift the other day and then I had taken two days off, so it was to be expected. He was our administrator, with long dirty blond hair he liked to spike. He was a gangly man, who swore every second he could get and spoke in a weird Osakian accent. It was easy enough to understand and he was outgoing, but he could bare down on you like a hound dog if you weren't too careful.

Just as I was going to shoot back a reply, the phone rang and he nudged me to answer. So, wiping my hands clean on the back of my jeans, I wandered over to the telephone.

It was Kaoru again. "Hello, Himura-san!" She greeted, once I answered the telephone.

I shifted, glancing nervously at my father over my shoulder. He was grinning from ear to ear and I knew he had every intention to eavesdrop. "Yeah…." I sighed, leaning against the wall.

"What's wrong, you don't sound so good." She asked, worriedly.

"I'm fine. Is there something you want to talk about?" I didn't mean to sound so rude, but then again, there was something about her that just made me cringe.

She sounded a bit discouraged by my snap. "Um…..well, I was wondering how Kenji was doing…..and I wanted to apologize for……."

"There is nothing to apologize for." I interrupted quickly. Now, I felt bad. I hadn't exactly sounded grateful that she saved my kid's life. "I should be the one apologizing for my son's behavior…….and…..I wanted to thank you for helping him out….."

Now she sounded pleased as punch. "Ah…well, I….I'm glad he wasn't able to go through with it." There was a silence for a while before she muttered, "I was wondering….if I should drop Kenji's homework off at your house today, since we have a test and all next week. It wouldn't be a bother, really, since you guys live close by and since I know where you guys live and it _is_ on the way and…."

"….That would be great and really appreciated." She had begun to ramble and for some reason, I could see her twisting the phone cord around her fingers nervously. If I didn't stop her, she probably would have continued stammering for a while. "Come on over any time you want." I paused, seeing my father's glare. "…..And," I added lamely, "if you want, you can stay for dinner……"

"I wouldn't want to intrude." She said, coyly. "But thank you very much for the offer."

When I didn't say anything more about the topic, she continued, "So I'll be there in a while, okay?"

"Yes, I'll see you then." I murmured, and we hung up the phone. It was awful of me just to brush her off like that, but at the moment, I wasn't up to meeting with girls or talking with them. I wasn't up to forgetting about Yuki just yet – the pain was still there, lingering, in a sad memory, the sting not yet quite gone.

Dad knew it, and yet…when I turned to shoot my anger at him, he shook his head. "Look, Kenshin, you've got to move on. It's not healthy……."

"I know that! Sano tells me that, you tell me that – everyone tells me that! Has it ever occurred to any of you that maybe I'm just not ready to move on? That I don't _want_ to move on?" I pushed myself away from the wall.

He looked serious again and I knew another lecture was coming up. Yes, I was riling myself for nothing, but I just didn't like the way he was suddenly invading my personal space. "You need to go for a run, kid?" he asked.

I wound down a bit, and shook my head.

He began to set the table, the china ware clinked against each other as he set them down. "You've got to move on sooner or later. Besides, I was only joking: it is courteous to invite her for dinner since she most probably will arrive when you're eating it!" That much was true, but the other side to my worry was the fact that Hiko would most likely embarrass me throughout the dinner. I didn't need that.

Hiko's next words surprised me, "….and no matter how much you blame yourself, it's not true….."

Yes it was.

It was all my fault.

I suddenly couldn't breathe, and the room suddenly swam. I think I stumbled and my elbow must have hit something because it fell with a crash. I heard my father cry out and I felt his iron grip on my arm, pulling me away and flinging me harshly against the wall. I hit it with a soft thump, whatever air left inside my lungs flying out, rendering me unable to gather my wits.

These spells….I hated them. It brought back the memories…..and all I could see were white sheets suddenly. Then a pressure was on my shoulders. "It's not your fault….Kenshin!"

I blinked, and looked up. The blurry figure in front of me melted into the face of my father. He looked a bit upset but worry was more evident in his eyes. He was shaking me, repeating my name. It took me a moment to get my breath and a moment to calm my nerves. I felt like an idiot.

I managed to choke out that I was fine, and he motioned me to sit, so I did, woodenly, as he began to clean up the mess I had made. I saw Kenji peering in, his face as white as those sheets I had envisioned, his hair in a mess around it. "What happened? Dad?" His words were slurred, and his cheeks were flushed, two clear signs of his fever. He must have heard the commotion too, because he had woken up to see what was going on.

"Nothing." My father told him, gruffly. "If you're feeling well enough to eat with us, then sit down. If not, go back to bed."

He looked as though he were trying to contemplate whether his stomach was up to the task of digesting, when the doorbell rang.

All three of our heads turned in the direction of the door, and for a moment, no one moved. There was still a mess of plates on the floor, a few noodles littering the ground here and there. Since I was still in a daze, my father crossed the room and opened it to reveal Kaoru.

She was dressed in light blue, her hair up in a fuzzy elastic of the same color. As I turned my attention to her, my eyes locked on hers and I pulled them away, because it felt as if she were searching my soul, seeing right through me….

"Sensei?" Kenji asked, numbly. He seemed to sway on his feet a little, but he gripped the wall beside him before he could fall over.

Kaoru smiled. "Good evening, everyone." She seemed embarrassed. "I just came to bring Kenji his homework." She smiled nervously, under Hiko's penetrating glare.

Coming to my feet, I forced myself back into the present. "Kamiya-san, thank you very much." I told her, when I reached the door. She handed me an envelope that was a soft cream color. It had Kenji's name printed neatly on the front.

"I got the rest of his classes' homework too….just in case." She reported. She turned to peer at Kenji, who had not moved from his place, afraid to topple over. She took in the figure of my son briefly before giving us all a small bow. "Sorry to interrupt your dinner. Kenji, I hope you get better soon."

He didn't say anything, pursing his lips together in that defiant way he always had. Seeing that her business was done, she was about to turn away, but I heard myself blurt, "Kamiya-san, if you're not busy right now, would you join us for dinner? We haven't started yet….in fact, it's not even finished….."

Her face puckered into a frown. "I really shouldn't…..it would be very….."

"I insist." She froze, her eyes meeting mine again. No matter how uncomfortable it was, I kept my gaze trained on hers, guarding mine as much as possible. "I would like to discuss some things with you too, if you don't mind…..and, because you……saved my son's life."

I had cornered her – if she didn't stay, it would be equally rude on my part, now that I had persisted. Kaoru seemed to hesitate, but she finally nodded, her cheeks going pink.

Kicking her shoes off at the door and arranging them neatly beside ours, she took a step inside.

Kenji had slid to a sitting position on the hardwood floor, his head sinking down toward his chest. He had fallen, not able to stand up any longer.

My father rushed over, taking the boy into his arms and carrying him to his room. I watched as he did so, Kaoru standing by my side.

"Is he all right?" She asked, seeing them disappear into Kenji's bedroom.

"He'll be fine." I reassured her. I politely asked her to sit on the couch, as I went to go clean up the mess I had made, before I would go have a word with her.

I saw her wandering in there, looking at the small decorations and the pictures I had on the wall on the display counters. I was not a man with a lot of furnishings. It made it easier for me to clean and of course, to hide my memories. Yuki, come to think of it, had never really been one for elaborate furnishings either. All she wanted were pretty flowers as centerpieces for tables, with which she took great care and pride arranging.

She also had great cooking, come to think of it….and was always graceful…..

The last broken dish was cleaned up, and the floor was once again spotless. I caught her looking down at a picture, which she gently set back.

"You have a lovely home." She said quietly.

"Thank you." I told her. She went over to the couch again and sat. To make her feel comfortable, I sad down too, across from her on the love seat.

"I'm really grateful that you are looking out for my son," I began. "He is quite a handful."

Kaoru smiled a bit. "Yes, he is…but at the same time, he doesn't seem like it." She leaned forward a bit. "I never see him smile…….and he doesn't seem to have any friends at all. During lunch, he sits away from everyone. And during class, he doesn't ever want to mingle."

"He must be shy." I defended him. Why I was, I had no clue. "Either that, or he feel uncomfortable with everyone else."

"I think, Himura-san….." She trailed off a bit, before continuing, "I think they're uncomfortable with him." She knit her fingers together, looping them over her knee absently. "I know there are couple of other teens out there with the same dress style and the same interest in music…but he just doesn't seem to fit in."

I leaned back a bit. "So, what you're saying is, he's a loner."

She bit the inside of her cheek and nodded. It sounded like me, in all truth. Except that I hadn't been as hard to handle as Kenji was. At least, I don't think I had been. "What do you propose I do, Kamiya-san?"

Kaoru looked off into the direction of Kenji's room. "He should try to make friends." She suggested.

My mind floated to the long conversations he had on the telephone. "He does have friends." I pointed out. "He goes over to their houses and goes biking with them. His best friend is a boy named Myojin Yahiko."

Kaoru's eyes seemed to widen at that. I faltered: maybe I had said something wrong? I felt my hands tighten around themselves. "Is there something I should know about Myojin-san?" I asked.

She blinked. "You've never met him?" she asked, incredulously.

I shook my head and repeated my question.

Her eyes darted away for a moment, and she smiled bleakly. "Yahiko's a good kid, don't worry about it." She told me finally. I had the suspicion that she was keeping something from me, but I guess she was getting back at me. I got the hint: it was none of my business.

"I know Yahiko," she continued. "I just never thought he'd be friends with Kenji. Of course, I haven't seen him lately myself."

Just the news alone made me more at ease. At least this Myojin kid seemed like a reasonable friend and not some potty mouthed jerk. In truth, I had never met him, nor even seen him. Kenji practically worshipped the ground he walked on and spoke of him often, so I figured to let the kid make his own friends so long as he didn't start doing anything bad.

So far, it looked like I had made a mistake.

She seemed to be very familiar with him too, with the way she used his name so casually.

It was then that my father came out, to finish making dinner. It looked like Kenji would not be joining us, because dad announced that he was not feeling well at all. I excused myself from Kaoru's presence to go check up on him.

He was lying in bed, his breathing shallow.

"Kenji?"

"Dad….." he murmured, "I….."

I silenced him. "Don't worry, you'll be fine." I promised. I took his temperature again and was a bit disappointed to see that his fever had gone a bit higher from the last time I had checked. I bundled him up tightly in his blankets and put a cool towel on his forehead and on top of that, an ice pack.

Fitfully, he watched as I got up to leave, and I closed the door behind myself.

"Dinner should be ready." I told her, confidently. "Why don't we go to the kitchen? Kenji isn't feeling well enough today, so we'll have to exclude him."

Kaoru got up, smoothing out the unseen wrinkles in her blue shirt. "Shouldn't we wait for Mrs. Himura?" she asked, worriedly.

My breath hitched up in my chest again, but I fought the sudden rush of adrenaline that pumped so hard my ears felt like they were going to burst. "N-no." I muttered.

Kaoru didn't seem to get the clue. "Does she work late?" She asked, innocently.

I managed a weak smile. "Kamiya-san, she isn't…….she isn't here." I told her.

I had hoped that she would get the message, but apparently not, because she asked, "Where is she? She doesn't live here? Divorced?" I had never known a person to ask so many personal questions like that, and so bluntly. Maybe I wasn't making myself clear enough, but at the moment, I didn't want to answer any of her questions.

"Kamiya-san…." I sighed.

At that, she finally realized she was crossing too many boundaries and she shut her mouth.

**0-0-0-0-0 **

You stand there, smiling proudly, your head held high. You're always that way, bold and strong, despite whatever comes your way.

I guess that's what I love the most about you.

You shine, like a goddess, standing out among all the others as you go up to the pulpit to make your speech. My heart races at the sound of your voice and I think to myself in disdain_: I've become a lovesick puppy._

And I realize then that I want to ask you to marry me.

I guess it's still early and we're young, but I realize that I would do anything to be by your side. It would make me the happiest man on the planet if I could spend the rest of my days with you. And I know it's a big responsibility, but I am sure I could do it. The question is, what do you think of that?

Your eyes meet mine, sparkling. Are you nervous? I find myself smiling and nodding, and the tenseness in your shoulders seem to relax. Throughout the rest of your speech you look at me, sharing your message in a private way with me alone.

At the end, everyone claps, but I don't. I hold your eyes with mine and you come to sit next to me, threading your hand through mine and whispering thanks.

"You're trembling," you whisper, sitting down.

Another person gets up to do their speech, but now I am not paying attention. I simply tug at the hand in mine and whisper nervously, "How about a diamond?"  
You giggle and lean over to give me a kiss on my cheek. Maybe you do know what I am thinking after all.

The diamond is gorgeous, of course. And the ring fits just fine. You never take it off, and you always tell me it's beautiful. The smile on your face is all I need, actually. Your happiness is the world to me.

But it's taken away from me.

Your smile and your laughter.

Like a blink of an eye, you are gone.

The day you died……..

_When answering the phone in Japan, you say hello and state your name, thus Kaoru knew she got the right number when Kenshin answered._

**To Be Continued…….**

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AN: That's a wrap for Chapter 7. Did you like it? I know, the plot is slowly being revealed, but as the story continues, I hope you all will piece it together. There is a reason why Kenshin feels so guilty and a reason why Kenji does not like his father very much. I ask for patience again. Oh, and if anyone has a suggestion on who the psychiatrist should be, I'll listen!

Please leave me a review!


	8. Still A Child

IN THE END  
By: Chiki Yumeshisa

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Rurouni Kenshin…..all original characters/ideas are mine to claim. The song CRAWLING IN MY SKIN is by Linkin Park and does not belong to me. I merely used two lines of their song.

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AN: HI GUYS! I'm so happy you are here reading this right now. Please enjoy, I had fun writing, I hope you have fun reading! Past events will be shown here, and I hope some of you will pick up on some rather _vague_ tips I left here and there.

KAMATARI SPOTTING - Look out below!

**Warnings: A lot of darkness up ahead. Some swearing. Rated PG to be safe.

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CHAPTER 8

**- Still A Child -**

_There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface……._

_**(0-0-0-0-0)**_

I met her when I was 17 years old.

In the strangest way, too.

I had been walking by her, on the way to the school gardens for a good read.

Yes, I was a nerd - so what?

Actually, it was the only place the bullies didn't know I hid in, and my place of refuge. Thus, the reason why I was sprinting.

I don't know when exactly it was that I was paying attention, but the head of that particular girl was just…..well, there was a piece of gum stuck in it. Having long hair myself, I knew it would be a tragedy if that happened to me.

She was sitting on a bench with her friends, chatting happily and eating. Not wanting to embarrass her in front of them, and wanting to see for myself if my eyes were playing tricks on me, I gathered the courage to make my way up to them.

Her skin was so pale, like the color of fresh snow that had fallen to the floor. Her long black hair contrasted strongly with it. I was afraid that those girls would be like all the others I knew: scornful and witty, but this one did nothing but stare at me as I came over cautiously.

They were all dressed the same, in black and white sailor uniforms. And I was right: that strange pink color at the end of her pony tail was not a decoration. My eyes had not been playing tricks on me after all.

"Yes?" her voice jolted me out of my thoughts, and I realized, with a shock, that I had just been staring at her. At the way her eyes roamed over my features briefly. At the way her hands went to tuck a stray piece of her hair behind her ear.

Her hair.

Right.

"Um….." I started.

Real smooth.

I was not the type to go and chat with a girl on a whim. If Sano heard that, he would be crowing in delight and never letting me hear the end of it. I felt my face heat and my heart race. What was I doing, again! "Sorry if I'm interrupting you," I heard myself saying, "but I….uh…..can I have a word with you?" I asked.

She regarded me silently for a moment, as if to see if I were joking around. Then, finally, she nodded, and followed me a little distance from her friends. They watched her go, a bit flustered: the loner kid had spoken with them!

My face was still red, and my heart was still pumping hard. "I didn't want to embarrass you," I said quietly, "but you have a piece of gum, stuck in your pretty hair and I thought….."

Her face paled, even paler than it could possibly go, as she was already so white. Panicking, she cried, "Gum!"

I held my hands up, defensively. "I was not the one to put it there, I just saw…."

"Oh!" She groped at her hair, trying to find it. "Oh no!"

I watched as she found it and tried to pull it out. "Can I help you…..?" I offered. At this point, she was close to tears, her eyes wide and her fingers tangling.

"Please……" She moaned.

My hands reached out to take her hands away, my books falling to the floor, forgotten. They were cold and clammy. She was wearing a perfume that was not strong, but I was able to smell it from where I stood. I had her turn around as I inspected it. There was no way I would be able to pry it out of her hair and not risk taking out a few strands. I would have to cut it out.

Disappointed at my news, she sniffed. "How much of my hair?" She asked, in a whimper.

"Just the ends and a little more." I informed her. "Are you willing to?"  
For a moment she hesitated, but then she sniffed again and nodded. So we went inside and I borrowed a pair of scissors from the office to snip it away. Small clumps of her hair along with the wad of gum fell to the floor at our feet.

"Done." I announced. "It looks fine; it looks like nothing was taken away. Just be thankful it was caught to the ends and not the body of it."

She was staring at me again, curiously, taking the scissors from my hand. "Thank you……it was kind of you to tell me, and…..to help me."

The blush came again, against my will, and I laughed sheepishly. "You're welcome."

"What's your name?"

How rude of me. I had forgotten to introduce myself. I think I could lose myself in those eyes.

"My name is Himura. Himura Kenshin."

**0-0-0-0-0**

Kaoru ate to her fill, exclaiming that she thought the food was much better than her own. Dad, of course, took the bait and arrogantly told her that of course it was. That earned him an askance glance. I couldn't help but smile.

Dinner had been fairly silent, as there wasn't much to say. Not to mention the fact that I was very uncomfortable with my father smirking in my direction every two seconds. I ended up avoiding all eye contact while we ate. It was my father who did most of the talking and Kaoru politely spoke. She kept giving me worried glances.

I did find out some things though: that she was a freshman year Biology teacher, who loved every student very dearly. She often thought of giving up because some students didn't respect her. I found out that she was very strong-willed; she would not allow herself to be trampled over that easily. I couldn't help but admire her strength.

I also found out that she had just broken up with her boyfriend about half a year ago. Apparently, he had been cheating on her for someone else. Her blue eyes seemed to glaze over with that piece of information and she ruefully tried to cover her disappointment by saying, "Oh well, the first isn't going to be the last."

Feeling a bit strained, I smiled. "Well, thank you for the food." I said, directing my gaze to my father, who was looking at me meaningfully.

Kaoru got to her feet. "Yes, it was really good. Thank you for your hospitality. It's about time to leave……"

I glanced at the overhead clock, ticking away the minutes, clicking away the seconds, counting down the time, winding down my life. It was not that late, but I already knew that Kaoru was uncomfortable in our presence.

Being ever the gentleman, I followed her to escort her to the door. On her way, she tripped over the rug, and her arm reached out to steady herself. In her surprise, she gasped as she went to grab the closest thing to her to keep her upright. The small ledge was the only thing in reach and her arm swept the contents it held on top.

Crying out, I managed to grab her arm and pull her back before she could fall. The sound of glass breaking filled my ears, and the both of us turned to check what had happened. In her haste to keep her balance, she had knocked over a picture frame and two vases. Luckily for me, only one vase had broken, along with the picture frame.

"I'm so sorry!" She cried, reaching down instinctively to help clean up the mess.

I bent down as well, saying, "It's okay, it was an accident," and picking up the shards of glass. When I turned the photo over, I froze.

I thought I had gotten rid of it…….

"Himura-san?" She asked, worriedly, seeing my posture freeze.

My eyes flew up at the sound of her voice. I willed my body into motion. "Uh…..I-I'm fine." I muttered, beginning to reach for another piece of glass. I think my finger got cut on the sharp edge because when I looked again, there was blood.

Kaoru cried out, hands reaching out to mine. "Be careful!" She scolded.

My eyes fell on the photograph again. Those eyes……

This time, Kaoru saw the picture too. Seeing that I was mesmerized by it, she reached into her small purse and drew out a bandage. I guess all women were at the ready when it came to things like this. She tended to the wound as I continued to stare at the picture in my lap.

Again, her voice caused me to look up. "She's very pretty." She commented, quietly.

Wordlessly, I nodded.

"Is that…….."

"My wife." I answered, a bit roughly. The world had crashed down upon me again and I realized that I was remembering too much. She was done with my wound and I got up, thanking her.

Dad had not heard the crash because he had gone to take the garbage out, and returned just as we were finishing up. He gave me a quizzical glance, but I never said anything more. Kaoru seemed to want to drop the subject too.

Once more, I led her to the doorway where she turned on the top step. "Thank you for the dinner, Himura-san. I enjoyed it very much."

"You're welcome." I told her. "And thank you for your concern for my son."

Her eyes sparkled, and she nodded. "I hope he gets well soon." She offered.

I fingered the end of my ponytail for a moment, and heard myself say, "Drop by any time." Why the heck would I say that? I was not only uncomfortable with her around: I couldn't stand the way she liked to poke her nose into my business. I guess I was more of a gentleman than I thought.

She nodded again, and jogged down the steps, her raven black ponytail flying out from behind her. In my opinion, she looked like a blue rabbit the way she jumped around so happily. Maybe I would never understand girls.

Turning back, my eyes fell on the portrait again briefly. I wondered if I should throw it out…..but I decided against it. Her memories would not die too. I wouldn't be able to bear that.

Hiko was still cleaning the kitchen up when I entered. "I feel like a drink." I announced.

He raised an eyebrow at me, incredulously. He knew there had to be something wrong with me for me to go so far as to say that. "Well, don't look at me, I finished it all this morning." He grunted, swiping the table with a rag one more time for good measure. I found myself straightening out the chairs.

"I guess I'll go hang out with Sano." I muttered.

"Don't you dare come home piss drunk." My father warned. "I _know_ you: you can't hold your drinks down if your life depended on it."

The asshole.

But he was right. I guess drinks and I didn't take kindly with each other. The least my dad could've done was offered to drive me down. I was so self absorbed, but everyone acted like that once in a while, didn't they? Well, it was my turn that night!

Sano answered on the second ring, and was most surprised to hear my voice. He was even more surprised when I asked him to hang out. He wasn't the type to turn down a night of drinking and was instantly eager to get ready. He would be over as soon as he could.

Without further comment, I slammed the phone back down on its cradle.

"Y'all right kid?" Dad asked, looking at me disapprovingly.

I nodded.

"Maybe it wouldn't be bad if you were to see that psychiatrist too." He suggested, swiping at the table again. I glared at him.

"I'm not crazy."

"You need the help." Hiko insisted. "Unless you want _me_ to help you: and I'm sure you don't want that."

Wincing, I scowled. "Dad, I am not a kid any more: I don't think a spanking would do any good."

He smirked. "We could always try."

I backed away, and the smirk turned bigger. The jerk.

Glumly I sat down on the porch steps with my hands folded over my knees. I didn't understand why Dad always did that – he always thought I was some sort of kid. He always treated me as if I were just a mere child who didn't know what it was doing. His sentences mocked me sometimes, and it hurt.

Sano's car pulled up next to my lawn, and he got out. He was wearing all white, the word "BAD" written on the back of his shirt. He stuffed his hands into his pockets and ambled up.

"Hey kid, what's up?" He asked, as I got to my feet.

I wanted to punch him. "I'm not a kid." I protested, angrily, shoving my own hands into my pockets. "Let's just go. I want to get out of here."

Sano frowned. "You getting drunk again……." He murmured. "Remember the last time….."

"I remember." I cut in. "I won't overdo it this time, I swear." I hadn't had a good drink in years.

He laughed and clapped me on the back heartily. "Well, I'll make sure of that. It's about time you decided to get out. I've heard news that your life has turned into a routine." He began to lead the way to his car. "Shit, that's the reason why I came all the way down here. Don't tell me you're thinking about doing stupid things, Kenshin."

I shook my head, slipping into the passenger seat. "No." I muttered. He was always like that too – like a mother hen protecting her chick. I guess he had been doing that since we were younger, so I didn't really mind it much. Still, I was sick of the way everyone treated me like I was incapable of doing things on my own.

The ride to the bar was not very long, but I was impatient none the less. I don't remember ever being so eager to have that horrid stuff going into my system. What a great hypocrite I made: I could still remember telling people that drinking would not help their physical state. Yet, here I was, destroying myself.

No matter how much one tries to deny it, beer always tastes awful. I sat down at the bar, tapping my foot against the small railing, impatiently. A couple of people were playing pool and billiards behind us, while a couple of girls went about serving drinks to tables where people were playing a few games with cards. Loud laughter and cusses were heard all around as apparently, someone lost their bet.

Sano slid onto a stool next to me and ordered something from the bartender. I was still waiting for my order: the strongest stuff on the house.

"You told me you wouldn't go overboard." He frowned.

I never answered, and when I received my drink, I gave him a small toast before I began to swallow it in haste.

Smirking a bit, he took his own drink and began to down it along with me. "You're going to be sick and you won't be able to go to work." Sano pointed out.

That was true too.

I let my glass hit the smooth surface of the ledge with a bang. He seemed to jump a bit. Then he let his own thunk to the table like mine. "All right, start spitting it out." He growled.

There was no refusal, nor any way I could get away from this, and I had known it was coming. Without hesitance or anger, I began to tell him my problems with Kenji and what my son had tried to do the other day. I sat there glumly, watching the suds of my drink slide down the side slowly as he let my information sink in.

I felt like an accused man, waiting for the judge to pass the final decision. When he finally spoke, he sounded thoughtful. "You've only known the kid for a year….."

I stared at him helplessly. "If that's the case, I'm doing a very bad job." I muttered. "Already he's attempted to kill himself. I'm afraid I can't live up to….."

His glare made me shut up. Did I also mention the fact that Sano did not like it when I brought myself down?

All of a sudden, a drink was shoved my way again. In surprise, I looked up: I had not ordered another one. After all, if I did, I would not be able to hold it down, as I was already having trouble holding the current one I had just drunk down. Blearily, I peered at who it was that had given it to me.

I was a bit taken aback to see a pretty face looking earnestly at me. Even Sano seemed surprised. The figure was wearing a black vest with a single gray line through it over a plain white collared shirt.

He was a man.

_Why_ was I always doing that!

First, Kamiya-sensei and now this…..

I could feel my blush go all the way to my toes.

Sano, however, had not yet realized that the pretty 'girl' was lacking a few proportions. Either that, or he was being very friendly because he began to chat with the guy. In my opinion, he was flirting.

It was my own fault for always assuming right away. Because of that, I was speechless. I was mistaken about Sano's flirting as he turned to introduce me, but this new person's name was a slur in my mind, and I didn't bother to catch it. It turned out these two were long time friends.

One of those big brown eyes winked at me. "Don't worry, honey, the drink's on me."

What was I supposed to say? That I didn't accept it? I didn't want to be prejudice. Still, I wasn't happy with the fact that I was being hit on by a man. "Uh……thanks……" I mumbled, uncertainly.

A grin spread onto his face, and I felt myself grow even more uneasy. "You're most welcome!" he practically sang. I was not in the mood for the cheerfulness to be honest. I stared down at the drink, wondering if he had done something to it. No, this strange guy would not try to put something in my drink: especially when Sano was with me. Besides, they seemed to know each other.

Satisfied with that thought, I went ahead and began to drink it, relishing in the bitterness, and letting my eyesight swim. I was still in a haze as both Sano and the man turned their attention back to me. My head had sunk down onto the table.

Instantly, Sano was by my side. "Oi, Kenshin!"

His voice was a bit too loud in my ears. I lifted my head slowly, even though I didn't want to, just to be sure that he wouldn't yell like that again. Unfortunately, for me, he did.

"Looks like the chick can't take more than one drink!" The man said, clapping his hands together in amusement.

I couldn't help but scowl. I was not drunk yet. Though, I knew that if I pushed my luck with one more drink I'd have one hell of a hangover. My eyes turned to Sano, and I suddenly wished that I hadn't taken the strongest thing in the house.

Keeping his voice low; most probably in my consideration - how nice of him – Sano asked, "Kamatari, could you get us some water?"

_Kamatari?_

That must have been the name of the guy, because he nodded and went off to do that.

"I gotta water you down a bit, there, buddy." Sano told me through gritted teeth. "I don't need your father breathing down my back."

With a sigh, I nodded.

Kamatari came back, sliding the drink of water across the table to me. "If I had known he was already drunk, I wouldn't have…."

"-He'll be fine." Sano answered for me, coaxing me to drink it down.

Luckily for me, I did not feel like hurling. I just wanted to sit there. Yeah, dad would have called me a loser for that.

I decided not to test my voice, still unsure what I would sound like.

Kamatari looked at me expectantly, but when I offered no more than a glazed stare, he addressed Sano with his question: "Say, is your friend straight?"

I almost fell out of my chair.

Sano chuckled. " 'fraid so, Kamatari: Kenshin's married with a kid."

_Was _married…… my brain corrected, miserably.

Disappointed, Kamatari's face fell. "Oh, drat!" he snapped his fingers. Then, he turned cheerful again. "I was hoping he was free: he makes such a pretty man."

Once again, the blush began to spread. I glanced away, embarrassed. It wasn't every day I was told I was pretty by another man. I was thankful that I had refused to say anything, as I was afraid to say the wrong thing at the moment.

Knowing I was uncomfortable, Kamatari began to tease me. "It's not often someone as gorgeous as you steps into this bar. Sano's been the best, but I'd choose you over him any day."

Sano snorted, and I slumped in my seat, a bit dumbfounded. How straightforward could someone get? I couldn't help but wonder what type of upbringing this man had undergone, if he had undergone any at all. "I don't think he's here for that," He said ruefully.

"Oh, problems with your marriage, hon?" Kamatari asked, sympathetically. "So many men nowadays have that same problem: and they always end up here to drink their sorrows away."

I glanced up, miffed at the way this guy had just suddenly decided to pry into my personal life. Not only that, but he was getting it _all_ wrong. Why was he acting like he knew me? "My wife is dead." I said coldly. "And I'd appreciate it very much if you'd mind your own business."

Taken aback, Kamatari blinked. An expression of hurt and remorse soon took over his surprise though. I guess I had sort of snapped: heck I hadn't even introduced myself. Still, I had every right to be upset.

His hands fluttered to his mouth in dismay. "I'm so sorry." He whispered. "I didn't mean to….oh….." His big brown eyes started to fill with tears, and he quickly turned away. "….excuse me…" he muttered and began to leave.

Sanosuke reached out and grabbed his arm, stopping him dead in his tracks. Out of the corner of his eye, Sano glared at me. "Kamatari, wait," he started to say.

I was afraid Kamatari was going to burst into tears, and I was surprised when he turned and offered me a gentle smile. "My condolences….."

"They won't bring her back." I said quietly, after the longest time. "Nothing will bring her back…."

He reached over and patted my arm, the contact of his skin on mine making me jump slightly. "Then, my dear, the only thing you can do is keep walking."

Something about his heartfelt encouragement made me smile, despite my bitterness. "Thanks Kamatari."

Again, he winked. "No problem, honey." He addressed Sano. "Drop by the bar again would you? It's lonely here. Oh, and bring this cutie again." His warm fingers pinched at my cheeks. I did not like that experience one bit, and I shied away from him.

I got out of my seat, not wanting him to get a blush out of me again.

A couple of the men looked up as we made to leave. Someone called out, thanking us and inviting us to come again. Hopefully, I would never have to come back.

As we were going to leave, I met Kamatari's sad stare, lingering on me, most probably going over the words I had yelled at him earlier. Feeling terrible, I self-consciously stuffed my hands into my pockets and glanced away. "I'm sorry for the way I snapped at you; I usually don't do that."

"Don't think of it, honey." His eyes lit up once more. "I'm sorry too." He stuck out his hand for a shake. "Friends?" I was not the type that was fond of physical contact upon meeting, but Kamatari seemed so…..different. I clasped his hand and gave it a firm shake.

"Friends."

_The only thing you can do is keep walking…….._

I could not hate him.

_**(0-0-0-0-0)**_

The world was ending.

My world was ending.

Footsteps sound behind me, causing me to swallow my sobs and stare through hot eyes at my intruder of solitude.

I am in a cloud of despair, and the brink of disaster: I do not think I can pull myself out of this. The vacuum of hurt and anger threatens to crush me.

The voice is deep, even though it whispers. "Kenshin……."

I hide my face, embarrassed.

"Why do you cry?"

The answer is obvious. I want to be left alone, but at the same time, I am terrified to be so.

There was once a time where I thought nothing could go wrong. A time where love could not get better and I could not be happier. A time where smiles and laughter filled the household.

But now……

Now, it was just dark and empty.

"She's gone dad." I whimper faintly. I hug my knees to my chest, the smell of the incense rising around me threatening to make me sick. I hold my breath, but that does not stop the smell. Or the sobs.

Dad's figure sits next to mine, and he slowly puts his big burly arms around me, hugging me tightly to him.

Like I child, I cling to him and weep.

_……These wounds they will not heal……_

_**(0-0-0-0-0)**_

**To be Continued………**

_(Kenshin uses Kamatari's first name because he was not introduced as anything else but that.)_**  
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AN: Please review, tell me what you think! Major thanks to all my reviewers. Thus far I have been inconsistent with the posting of this story, but your comments and remarks do keep me going. If it weren't for some of you badgering me to get this chapter out (and you know who you are!) this would not be up! So, please **feel free** to leave me a comment!

Click that review button!


	9. Spirit

IN THE END

By: Chiki Yumeshisa

Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin……..all original characters/ideas are mine to claim.

AN: WAI! Thanks for all the support! Really, I'm so glad. With this chapter, it should clear some questions, and I've dropped hints again. As for who Himura's wife is, please take more patience, as I have the story planned, it's all up to the mature reader to piece together.

**Warnings: None. Rated PG to be safe. **

**CHAPTER 9**

**- Spirit -**

Saitoh-san's office was neat and tidy, the way I would have liked it had it been mine. The windows behind his oak desk were open, letting the fresh air in. The blinds, however, were partly shut, to keep the glare of the sun out. The curtains were a dull gray color, matching the rest of the furniture in the small room.

It was a good thing too: Saitoh had a bad habit of smoking. And the bad part was, he smoked any time and any place.

He did that as he spoke with me, his wolf-like eyes watching me, almost hungrily. He had a gaunt face that made him look sick and frail, but I knew that he was anything but that.

I really didn't want to be there.

Smoothly, he blew a cloud of smoke up at me, most likely to irk me. "What am I going to do with you, Himura?"

I felt myself stiffen. In all truth, I hated the bastard. He always demeaned me and mocked me. Sometimes, it was all I could do not to show him the proper respect. I decided to stay quiet.

"That has been three times so far that you've run out on me." He continued, enjoying my uneasiness. "I have half the mind to fire you."

"I'm sorry sir," I said, "but my son has been having problems lately….and it was an emergency."

He smirked. "Is that so?" He inhaled again and let the smoke out through his nostrils. I was getting sick of the smell, and I was most grateful that the windows were open. "Well, I'd smarten up if I were you. Next time around, I won't be so lax." He crushed the rest of his cigarette's stalk in the ash tray. "Now get to work, fool: and it better be done right, or else you won't get your pay."  
Jerk.

I bowed slightly, making sure that my face was emotionless. I would not give him the satisfaction of knowing that he had gotten to me. "Yes sir, I understand." I heard myself saying.

Saitoh simply folded his hands together, threading his fingers between each other. "That's too bad Himura: you are an idiot and you know it."

I grit my teeth. Maybe I was, but……

"You will always be what you are and you can't deny it. Why settle for something less?" He mocked.

"Excuse me sir," I said tightly, "I have work to do."

Brooding, I didn't wait for his answer, as I turned on my heel and left the room. I could practically hear him laughing at me. I wanted to hurt him, but if I did that, then for sure I'd get fired. No, I could not let my temper get the best of me.

Yumi looked up as I took my seat by my own desk. She was busy putting powder on her already-too-pale face. She had on a dark purple lipstick and of course, she was wearing her low cut top. "Hey Kenshin – what's wrong?"

"Nothing." I snapped.

She gave me a sly grin, not at all affected by my anger. "Does Kenny need a hug?" She cooed. She began to get out of her seat to deliver her promised threat.

I pulled away quickly. "No, I don't need a hug," I scowled, feeling my cheeks heat up again. "And don't call me Kenny."

"Okay, Kenny, I won't." She winked, good-naturedly. Then she got serious. What is it with women and their weird mood swings? "How is your son?"

I glanced down at the list in my hands. We had so many orders in….it made my mind swim. I put it back down on my desk, a bit dejected. "He's fine. I just wish he would stop being an idiot."

She shot me a sympathetic look. "I don't have any kids of my own, so I can't help you." She told me, "But I hope that it goes well for the both of you. Maybe what he really needs is a mother." She paused, then, regretting her words. "I mean……I'm sorry Kenshin – didn't mean to upset you."

"I'm not upset." I told her. In fact, what she had said was probably right. "Maybe he does need a mother…….." but I was not yet ready to commit myself to someone else.

But: if it was for my child, would I not…….?

**0-0-0-0-0**

I was let out early, despite Saitoh's lecture earlier that morning. He had gotten a meeting and since Yumi and I hadn't gotten any more shipping bills, we were allowed to leave. She went with her boyfriend, whose name was Shishio Makoto, and offered to give me a lift home. I politely declined: Makoto's mere figure scared the shit out of me, but I wasn't about to admit to that.

So I ended up walking home. Thank God that the weather was nice and warm. I found myself walking toward Kenji's school, when I remembered that he already had his homework. Eh, I guess I was really out of it.

Just my luck: Kaoru was on her way out. Today, she was wearing a bright pink sweatshirt and had another one of those fuzzy elastics of the same color in her hair. I tried not to be seen, but she caught sight of me almost instantly. Calling out my name, she jogged over.

I had half the mind to run, but I didn't, knowing that it would seem rude. So, with an inward sigh, I waited for her to reach me. She was a little winded as she bowed hastily in greeting. Reluctantly, I returned it, not very happy that the day was not going well for me. First Saitoh, and now this……

"What brings you here?" she asked, hoisting her little bag up onto her shoulder more securely.

I glanced down the street, absently, watching a red moving truck speed by. "I forgot that you already brought my son's homework to our house yesterday," I admitted, "so I dropped by." Wanting to end the conversation and go home to rest, I asked, "Don't you have classes right now?"

She stuck her tongue out smugly. "No, school's been done for a while, it's just the clubs that are taking place. I didn't stay behind today to mark my papers: I'll do that at home tonight. I left early because I don't have my car today, and I was going to walk home. It's in the repair shop."  
Wow, she was a regular chatter box. She had given me much more information than I had needed. Some part of me rather liked the way she confided in me, and the other part could have cared less. I was leaning toward the latter though, since I was not in the mood – then again, when was I ever in the mood?

"Now I have someone to walk with, at least part of the way." I heard her saying.

_Oh God help me….._

I forced a smile, and a nod. "Did you want me to walk you home?" I offered. I feared for the worst – a yes. But to my greatest relief, she shook her head and grinned.

"I'm fine. I may be a girl, but I'm pretty much sure I can take care of myself."

I couldn't help but wonder what that meant. Instead, I shrugged and began to head down the street, and she fell into step with me.  
Now I know that I am not the most hospitable person to be around. Heck, no one really liked my company, as I was not fond of making small talk, or starting a conversation. A long time ago, my ego had been bruised and my confidence in speaking up low, so that was the way I always tended to be now. Nevertheless, despite the uneasy silence that followed, Kaoru seemed comfortable with me.

Her next words surprised me, taking me completely off guard and rendering me tongue-tied. "You don't like me, do you Himura-san?" She asked quietly.  
I could only stare at her with wide purple eyes.

She giggled. "You probably think I'm an immature brat……." She sounded sad, but she had on a wistful smile. "In many ways you are like your son, and I can see where he gets his……shall I say, coldness, from."  
I concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other, willing myself to keep my mouth shut. I knew she could read me like a book, but I had been rather surprised by how well she had done so.  
"You are very assuming." I finally said.

Kaoru's wistful smile turned bigger. "I'm sorry if I state what I see."

Not wanting to continue that topic any more, I pushed my bangs out of my eyes and asked, "Don't you have friends you would rather walk home with, than me?"  
Kaoru shook her head, her black locks flying. "They're all acquaintances that have known each other for the longest time. I don't quite fit in."  
I raised an eyebrow, and she continued. "I have only been working here as a teacher for the last year, so I haven't really gotten to know anyone. Besides, I'm the youngest of our staff."  
"I'll say," I blurted, "I thought you were a student at first. I bet a lot of your pupils might have thought the same way."  
At that, Kaoru blushed. I actually thought that she looked pretty like that, with her face all flushed and how she was unable to quite hide her smile of pride. "Actually," She told me solemnly, "some asked me out on dates when they didn't quite know me as a teacher. Imagine their shock when they found out!"

Yes, I could imagine that all too well. But it couldn't be helped. When I had been younger, I had gone to a school where uniforms were worn, and it was quite obvious who was the teacher and who were the students.

"It's good to look young," I told her confidently, "because then when you're older, they won't think twice."  
"You don't look very old either, Himura-san. It's hard to believe you are the father of a fifteen year old boy."

Yes, it was. I had been told that many times.

"Thank you." I muttered, feeling a bit embarrassed. I didn't know what to say to that, and at the moment, I was not up to telling her about my life.

She continued though, as if I had not said a word. "In fact, you don't even look like you are a father."  
I wondered what that was supposed to mean. Was she demeaning the way I dressed? I glanced down at my faded jeans and my sweater. No, I dressed suitably and respectably. Or was she demeaning the way I looked? I knew my long hair could throw people off on their first glance – and I also knew that my smooth face could make them mistake me for being a girl. I never got the chance to ask her what exactly she had meant by that, because I suddenly heard my stomach growl up at me.

Kaoru seemed to have heard it too, because she stopped in her tracks, her hand flying to her belly. "Was that me or you?" she asked.

I could feel my cheeks start to heat. "That would be me – I am hungry." I hadn't eaten that day, trying to catch up on all the work I had missed from the three days I had been absent from work. I had thought to grab a bite on my way home, and it seemed my stomach was rudely trying to remind me of that thought.

"That reminds me, I haven't quite eaten yet either." Kaoru said, more to herself than to me. She tilted her head to the side a bit, her eyes catching mine. "Would you like to stop for some food with me, or would you rather not be in my presence any longer?"

She was giving me a way out. I wanted to strangle her for being so damn point with me. At the same time, I felt bad for the way I was treating her. Was I always that cold to people?  
"I'll go with you." I griped, making sure she caught my annoyance with her bluntness.

Kaoru laughed, running up ahead like a child, and she spun around to face me. "You should lighten up a bit, Himura-san! You're always so cold and polite, so frigid and ritual. Have you ever thought of just letting go once in a while?"  
_You can't let go of the past._

I was about to retort to that, but I didn't want to spoil her mood. Kaoru's whole being was summed up with one word: Spirit. I don't remember ever meeting anyone as spirited as her. She flew from one subject to the next and spoke whatever she felt without a thought of regret.

I told her as much, as she led me to a small restaurant about two blocks away from my house. She laughed, the sound ringing like a small bell. I didn't know if she took it as a compliment or if she simply didn't care what I thought. I guess I would never figure her out, no matter how hard I tried.

The restaurant was called Saji. Even though it was close to my place, I had never eaten in it before.

It was a cozy restaurant with both booths and separate tables, to suit both the family or the average customer. Each table was covered with a soft yellow tablecloth, the centerpiece on each was a small colorful menu with the typical salt and pepper shakers right next to it.

We took a seat toward the back, in a booth, so as not to be disturbed. There was only one other person who was eating there at the moment, but he seemed engrossed in his newspaper as he didn't even look to see who had come in. I guess it was normal for that time of the day, as it wasn't even five yet.

"I'll have something small." Kaoru told me. "I have to lose weight."  
I rolled my eyes. What was it with all the girls nowadays? They always insisted that they needed to lose weight, when in all truth, they needed more flesh on their bones! Kaoru was thin enough and didn't need to lose anything more, or else she'd look like she was sick.

"You can eat as much as you want – just make sure that you eat healthy and exercise and you should be fine." I told her.

She snickered. "Gee, you sound like a doctor."

I decided not to say anything to that.

I ordered my food, which was practically the first thing on the menu I saw, and Kaoru took her time ordering hers. At the end, she finally settled for a garden salad. What a meal.

"Anything to drink with that?" The waiter asked, politely.

I declined, asking for a glass of water. I was most surprised when Kaoru ordered herself a bottle of beer. And here she said she wanted to lose weight.

"You drink, Kamiya-san?" I asked, a bit surprised.

"No." She replied. "I've done it once, and I was told I was a bad drunk."  
I got worried at that sentence. I really did not want to take care of a girl passing out on me when she had overdone it. Surely she was of age to drink responsibly. I doubted that she could get drunk with only one bottle anyway.

A bit startled at the way I had begun to panic, I quickly sobered down.

Smoothly, Kaoru crossed one leg over the other, fingering the yellow tablecloth absently. "So……how's Kenji?"  
"He's at home." I replied.

She seemed surprised. "All by himself? Aren't you worried that….."

"-My father is with him." I interjected. "We're not about to leave the kid alone after that stupid incident. In fact, I have to go out and look for a psychiatrist for him."  
Kaoru snapped her fingers. "I know one, he's really good." She said.

"You know a psychiatrist?" I repeated, dumbly.

"I went to one after my boyfriend and I broke up." She told me, as if it were the easiest thing in the whole world to accept. There she went again filling me in with unnecessary information. I couldn't help but be amazed at her willingness to confide in someone like me. "I didn't want to get so depressed, so I made the arrangements."

She sure seemed fine – one would never have known she had gone to get help. If that was how she came out, I was most eager to find that psychiatrist and enroll my son. Of course, knowing dad, he would force me to go to the sessions too. I could already picture myself strewn out on a couch, recounting my life.

"His name is Shinomori Aoshi." She was saying, rummaging into her purse. "I think I still have his calling card." She whipped out her wallet and began to sift through the papers.

Even her wallet was a mess! Bills and receipts, tissues and even one or two hair ribbons were in there. I did not say anything though, wondering just how exactly she could live her life with such clutter.

Finally, she gave a triumphant cry and produced a small card, creased down the middle, of the doctor.

I thanked her, slipping the paper into my own wallet, which looked empty compared to hers.

Our food arrived then, and we both went to work, eating.

I was getting to become somewhat comfortable with her company when she asked, "What do you do for a living, Himura-san?"  
Putting down my chopsticks, I reached over to grab a napkin, wiping my mouth.

Seeing the expression on my face, she added hastily, "I mean, well, you know I am a teacher, and you know that I care about my students……..but I don't know anything about you."

So she was asking for an exchange of information. I guess it was fair enough. I couldn't be blamed for being cautious and guarded. I supposed she understood that, because she began to say, "…..well, if you don't want to tell me, that's okay….."

"-I'm a shipper." I told her. "I work at KODA in the shipping and handling department." I picked up my chopsticks, and poked at the rice on my plate, appetite suddenly gone. "I didn't always work there though……" I trailed off a bit, remembering Saitoh's words earlier that day.

_You're an idiot and you know it._

She seemed to be a bit confused, but she nodded. "I trust that work isn't too hard on you?"  
I actually smiled a bit. "It could be better." I told her.

Her eyes sparkled, and she reached over to open her beer. The top part came off with a hiss and luckily she hadn't been so brash in opening it or else it would have spilled over.

She offered me some again, but I declined.

"What does your wife do?" She asked, wonderingly, holding the bottle between her hands, but not taking a drink of it. Instead, she left it open on the table, taking a bite of her leaf – I mean, salad.  
I had to bite down on my molars to control myself. I wondered what her obsession was with my wife. "She is dead." I told her, mechanically reaching for my own drink. She was almost as bad as Kamatari.

Correction – she was worse.

Her chopsticks fell with a clatter to her plate, and she let out a soft gasp.

Darkly, I thought about how dense she possibly could have been to have not grasped that fact the other night. Of course, I didn't say so out loud – I wasn't that cruel and cold-hearted. "I don't need words of sympathy, or apologies." I said stiffly. "That's all I ever get. Just leave it alone."  
Kaoru's eyes were clouded and she nodded slowly. It now seemed that her appetite was gone too.

When she finally picked up her chopsticks again, she sounded mournful. "I'm so insensitive…….."  
I shrugged, feeling like a ton of bricks were on my shoulders. "You didn't know." I managed. All of a sudden, I wanted a beer too.

Kaoru looked up. "Maybe that's why Kenji is so upset all the time."

_More than you know._

I shrugged again, quickly finishing off the rest of the food in front of me. Even if I wasn't hungry, I wasn't about to throw it out. There were many people around the world who did not get the luxury to eat good food.

Realizing that she was dwelling on the one topic I wanted to avoid, she quickly apologized and went to work polishing off her own food. I decided it was time to start asking my own questions. I tended to get even once in a while.

"How old are you, exactly, Kamiya-san?" I asked, neatly arranging my chopsticks on the now emptied plate.

Kaoru seemed surprised by that question and the sudden turn of events. It was not likely that I asked information of her. A small smile tugged at her lips.

"I'm 24." She replied, her tone of voice amused.

I was right: she was a young teacher. Kaoru leaned forward and winked. "It's not proper for a man to ask the age of a woman." She teased. "But I didn't lie to you."  
She suddenly got up, making me jump. "Thanks for the company, Himura-san." She told me. "I appreciate it." She gave me a formal bow, and began to get her things together. I had to hand it to her: she knew the perfect time to excuse herself without me so rudely asking her to.

I just nodded, not knowing what else I could say. I thanked her for the calling card, and her clouded eyes brightened once more. "If you ever need anything else, please don't hesitate to call me." She moved forward and grasped my rough, calloused hand in her pale smooth one. "It was nice talking with you." She said sincerely. "It's sad seeing someone like you so dejected."

With that, she spun around and waltzed out of the restaurant, practically singing out a farewell, waving her drink in the air merrily.

In numb shock, I stared after her, wondering just how she managed to be so complex.

When I turned around again, I realized that she had not just left me befuddled:

She had left me the bill too.

**0-0-0-0-0**

When I finally reached home, Dad was sitting in the living room, his deep rumbling voice striking a tune.

Inwardly, I flinched. In my opinion, he could not sing. He was better at scolding and cracking insults. Of course, it was never healthy to express my opinions out loud. Did I mention that I could tend to be cynical too?

He stopped singing and looked up as I entered.

"Hey, boy, what took you so long?" He demanded.

"I went out for something to eat." I replied truthfully. Another thing I had learned was not to try lying to him. Nowadays, he had gotten much better at reading people.

"Really?" He demanded. "With who?"  
Why did he always instantly assume that I went out somewhere with someone? I could already feel my blush creep up on me. He would never let me hear the end of it if I told him the truth.

Knowing he would crow over it for days, I had to reply, "With Kamiya-sensei."

A grin spread across his face at the mention of my son's biology teacher. I wanted to wipe that silly smirk off his face. Dropping my bag into its usual place in the corner of the room, I crossed over toward the other couch, sitting down.

"She told me she knew of a psychiatrist," I continued, ignoring his grins. "And I managed to get the calling card off of her."  
That seemed to take his mind off of her for a moment, because he demanded for me to go get the card. When I returned, he scrutinized it before handing it back. "What makes you so sure this guy is good?" He demanded.

I felt perplexed. "She recommended it." I said. My eye caught sight of whatever he had spread over the table.

"What is this?" I asked.

"They're ads." He replied, picking one up. "I'm down in Tokyo for a few more days. I decided to stock up on some merchandise."  
I leaned back. There were so many things I wanted to know, but if he didn't feel like answering, I would never find out. To my luck, he decided to fill me in on some of the details.

"I was thinking of opening a shop down here." He picked up another ad. "Since Tokyo seems to be a place for tourists, I could do better business. But I realize I would rather not come down here any more than I have to."  
Dad did like pottery and was a skilled craftsman in the art. He took pride in every bowl or vase he made. Despite his size and figure, he was known widely in many parts of Japan as a gentle man of art. His works and creations were vied for and his business in Kyoto flourished.

It was a small shop, nothing big, but the quality of his works was top notch. He always told me that he could not stand a job half-done. The majority of the time, he would do the pottery making himself, while my mother and some hired hands would help keep the shop up.

Sometimes, he would stock up on rare items and sell them for a good price. The ads on the table were advertising those rare items, so I could understand why he was looking at them.

"When do you have to go?" I asked. I suddenly did not want him to leave: Kenji had been behaved since his coming, and I didn't want him to go back to being what he was before Dad came.

"Sometime next week." He told me. "I can't afford any more days off: I have decided I won't open a store down here after all anyway."  
He put down the ad he was holding, among the rest of them. "You could come visit us, you know." He told me. "I don't see why you insist staying here."  
"I've been here for the last 15 years." I pointed out. "I've grown accustomed to the lifestyle."  
Dad snorted, and starting cleaning up the small bits of paper, knowing that I did not like mess. His dark eyes swept over me, disapprovingly. "I'm not about to leave until you and your son shape up. You want, you can leave him with me in Kyoto again……?"  
I shook my head. "No, dad. I want to take my responsibility. You've already done so much." I got up, stretching a little as I did so. "Thank you for all your help."  
He grunted, getting up as well. "Go call that doctor now." He commanded. "The sooner the two of you get help, the sooner I can relax."  
So I did, and that's how I ended up dreading the weekend's coming.

_Saitoh has his own reasons for calling Kenshin and idiot. I tried to compare and contrast his character with that of the manga/anime. _

**To Be Continued…….

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AN: Next chapter - _Kenshin and Kenji go to the psychiatrist's_. What did you guys think? Did you pick up on a few clues? I really need those reviews because all my anxiety over my upcoming exam is feeding the UGLY writer's block! Please do leave me a word or two, by

CLICKING THAT BUTTON!


	10. The Psychiatrist

IN THE END  
By: Chiki Yumeshisa

Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin……all original ideas/characters are mine to claim.

AN: Ah, hi again everyone! SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE! My computer crashed due to a virus and it has taken me so long to recover my stuff. As for your reviews, they always help, as you know. So here is the next chapter. Otanoshimini!

_**Warnings: I have never had to go to a psychiatrist before, so if I did something wrong, please let me know. Rated PG to be safe. No flames please as you have been warned.**_

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CHAPTER 10**

**- The Psychiatrist -**

Kenji walked next to me, wordlessly. His arm was still wrapped up in bandages as I had deemed that those stitches would not be able to come off until another week or two. They were not very visible though, as he wore a black sweatshirt, the sleeves hiding the most of it. His fever had gone down, luckily, but I was still worried that he might have a relapse. Of course, he brushed this off with a snort and refused to listen to me, ignoring my requests for him to wear a jacket.

His hair was up in a high ponytail, unlike mine which was just tied back by the base of my neck. Today though, he wore none of his jewelry and did not have his nails painted any color. I think we both felt like we were walking to our doom.

We had just gotten off the bus, which had been crowded and noisy. I had not liked it one bit, and if I could have just walked all the way to the psychiatric ward, I would have. I ended up standing next to someone with really bad body odor. To top it off, the other person behind me was a drinker and a smoker. The three combinations of putrid smells were enough to make me want to puke. So for most of the ride, I had held my breath for fear of getting ill.

Now, we were going toward the tall building about 3 blocks away. In my opinion it looked no where close to a professional building. It was rather run down and when we got there, there was a big sign that said, "Shut down, due to construction." And yet another sign that read, "Building to be demolished, please stand back."

Kenji glanced up at me quizzically. "Dad, are you sure this is the right place?"

I scowled at him. "Yes, I wrote it down; it's even on the man's business card." If he was implying that I was bad at directions or reading, he had another think coming. I happened to be very prideful of the fact that I could find my way around the busy streets of Tokyo.

Kenji peered at the building in scrutiny. "It doesn't look like a place where a shrink would stay."

I had to agree with that. What kind of a psychiatrist would open his office here? What if he wasn't really that professional after all? I began to have my doubts. "Don't call him that," I admonished, "Have more respect for his status, mind you."

"It's the same thing, dad!" Kenji complained.

I started forward after giving the building another scrutinizing look. We had an appointment, and even though were an hour too early, I would have preferred that over being late. Kenji's arm reached out to snag the sleeve of my blue jacket. "It's off limits." He protested.

"Our appointment is in this building." I argued. "It can't be shut down: why would they tell us to go here?"

He looked about, a bit nervously. "Maybe you made a mistake."

Wow, bruise my ego.

I glanced warily at the sign, wondering what on earth was going on.

"Maybe you should have called in advance." Kenji offered. I could feel my ego's pain.

I shot him a look. "We'll just have to ask around."

Ask around my foot! There was no one in sight around the building. The bulldozers and shovels were still. The place was empty, almost as if it had been abandoned. I wondered where they could have gone. Since there was no one around, I did not want to stand there waiting forever for someone to return.

"Come on." I began to thread my way to the building, which, as I drew nearer to it, began to make me feel queasy. The stains on the walls seemed to be mocking me in their filth and their grit, dirt and grime. It looked like it had been abandoned for ages.

Silently, Kenji walked behind me, also staring around at his surroundings. While the outside seemed drab, the inside was still okay. It was still dirty but not as bad as the walls outside. Dingy carpets were laid out for the customers, and a few sofas in the lounge room on the first floor were still waiting for an occupant. Those sofas hadn't been dusted for weeks it seemed.

Feeling a bit awkward, I began to make my way to the elevator when a shout froze me in my attempt.

"Stop!"

Turning, we saw a man, clad in orange, a bright yellow hat on top of his head. He was wearing a vest that was made out of a plastic material. A huge X was on the front and back of it. When light hit it, it glowed brightly. He had a big black mustache, with an equally big black beard. Small black eyes squinted at us in the dim lighting. He was much taller than me, maybe as tall as dad. With a few strides, he was towering over us.

"Didn't you read the signs? This place is being demolished: no one

is allowed in." He sounded annoyed.

"We read the signs." Kenji snapped back. "But we're here for an appointment with a Dr. Shinomori. We were told it was this building."

I put my hand on his shoulder, giving him a warning glance. I was not happy with his impoliteness, but at the moment, I could understand him completely. "Perhaps you can help us then, sir," I said, taking out Shinomori-san's card. "We were not informed of any move……"

"His office was switched to the building down on the new Q-street." The man announced, after reading the card. He handed it back with dirt-gritted fingers. "It was just renamed this week, so perhaps they are still having trouble adjusting to it."

"Maybe." Kenji sneered. I shot him another look, and I ushered him ahead of me. He was still making faces, grudgingly turning around to leave.

I bowed, thanking the man for the information. At least we had not tried any of the elevators. According to the man, they would have probably stopped working and we would have gotten stuck in them. He also apologized that there was no one who had been able to help us: the rest of the men had gone out for lunch and would be back in about an hour. Apparently, he had forgotten something of his and had gone back to get it, and had spotted us.

Kicking a rock from the piles of rubble on the ground with his brand new shoes, Kenji grumbled under his breath. "That guy was a jerk."

I guess my boy just didn't like being demeaned. That was new……I decided not to reply to that, making sure I didn't egg him on, as it wouldn't help anyone. Instead, I lead us toward the new Q-street, a couple of blocks ahead. An elderly couple kindly directed our path and we were there in another 15 minutes.

The same address number shone brightly on a tall building that seemed to be made of platinum. I couldn't complain any more – I guess this Shinomori-san had to be good after all.

My fingers curled over the brass-colored door handle. The word PULL was written in big letters in Romanized characters.

We stepped in, our eyes instantly caught onto the sight of three huge fans overhead, turning with agonizing slowness. A couple of dangly diamond-looking decorations hung off each one, and as the fans moved, the glass would shine proudly.

"Do we really have to go here?" Kenji asked. I could tell he was anxious. He looked like he wanted to turn back and leave. "I don't think we really need to….."

"We have to." I told him firmly, pushing him onward gently. "And out of the two of us, you need it more."

He looked offended by my words, and I was worried he would start throwing a temper tantrum in that lobby. I never gave him the chance though, moving forward to speak with the receptionist who was eyeing us curiously. Again, I showed her my card and asked to see the psychiatrist.

She told me to go register on the 18th floor. So onto the elevator we boarded, Kenji following me, sulking. He seemed to get even more nervous as the floors began to blink past. Nobody seemed to want to use the elevator, I noticed, because we were not joined by anyone else.

"He'll probably be one of those crazy-type doctors. Dad….." He watched as we passed the fifteenth floor. His eyes had become big and frightened. I was somewhat amused to see my son really getting riled up about something as simple as seeing a doctor.

I gave him a small smile. "Relax, kid – it'll be fine." I have to admit that I wasn't too pleased with the prospect that I had to see someone for mental help. I could picture him hypnotizing me as I lay stretched out on that typical couch they showed in movies.

My heart skipped a beat as the door swished open on the correct floor. We stepped off, both a bit cautious. I nearly got run over by a huge man. His skin was a goldish color, a couple of scars lining his face. He had a wide mouth that broke into a grin when he saw us gawking up at him.

Added to his huge size, he was built. That lab coat he was wearing wouldn't close no matter how much he would try. He had a shock of pale brown hair that fell in a mess down to his shoulders, sticking up every which way.

His voice was deep when he spoke. "Why, hello……"

Oh my god! This guy was our psychiatrist! He looked like a bodybuilder! The next-in-line Arnold Schwarzenegger. If the guy back at the construction site was huge, this man was Godzilla. I could feel my blood drain from my face. I was suddenly as frightened as Kenji, who shrunk behind me, as if he made to hide. I could read his horror clearly as he stared up at the doctor.

Trying to find my voice, I managed to squeak out an answer. I sounded so pathetic. I could only wonder what this shrink was going to do. And what would happen if we didn't answer his questions…..

He flashed another one of those wide smiles that looked both vicious and cunning, at us. Kenji shrank back further, mumbling something under his breath something about it being a mistake coming here.

"Do you have an appointment?" He asked.

I felt myself nodding numbly. Well of course Kaoru would come out acting normal – who wouldn't after this guy had bashed your brains in? No argument of course could take place.

"I'll let Shinomori-san know." He said, that smile still on his face. I could not help but gawk in surprise and relief. As he walked away, he let out a hearty laugh, most probably because he had led us on his stupid ruse. And boy, did I feel stupid!

As it turned out, he wasn't our psychiatrist. He turned out to be the 'friendly' secretary, whose name was Shikijo. He had us wait, eyeing us out of the corner of his eye, grinning at us boldly. Poor Kenji was sitting, poker stiff, on one of the soft blue leather couches that were available. No one else was present.

When finally, we were announced to go in, as we had been a bit early for our appointment, Kenji came slowly to his feet. His hand reached out to snag my sleeve again for the second time that day. "Dad…..you don't think I'm crazy do you?"

"No." I told him, and said nothing more as I lead the way to the office. Shikijo was still grinning at us like an idiot.

A man, a bit younger than myself, brushed by us, as he exited the office, calling back his thanks. He cast a glance over his shoulder at me momentarily, before going to the elevators. He was most probably another patient.

We entered the room warily, afraid to encounter someone of Shikijo's build and physique. We were rewarded with someone of very different stature: Shinomori Aoshi sat in his chair, hunched forward a bit, his fingers knitted together thoughtfully, under his chin. He had the coldest blue eyes I had ever seen, and when he stood to welcome us, I was intimidated by his height.

Why was everyone so much more taller than I was?

Dark black hair that was cropped short adorned his head. His bangs were a little too long, as it fell down past his eyes. He had a long face that seemed to be permanently fixed into a frown.

He gave me a small bow, introducing himself to be, indeed, our doctor for the day. He was not very built, but he had a well-toned body, as it was very clearly visible from his tight shirt under his white lab coat. His brisk actions told me that he was very serious about his work.

I bowed, followed suite by my son, and we both introduced ourselves.

He had us sit down in two chairs, and he began taking out our files, which both consisted of one paper each. That would grow throughout our meetings with him, I knew.

Aoshi leaned back in his chair. "Both father and son – this is new to me."

Those words made me glance at Kenji, who was already scowling. Aoshi neatly arranged those sheets on his desk, reading through our profiles which I had had to process through to this place the other day.

"Would you both like some tea?" He asked, after a while.

I lifted my eyebrow in surprise, and politely declined. Kenji said nothing, staring down at his feet, miserably.

Aoshi finally closed our folders and knit his fingers again. "Now then, let's get to business." He said. "Today, I want to do just a quick background check on you two – and of course, for the first two weeks, I will do sessions with the both of you present." He absently edged his chair forward some more. His ice blue eyes suddenly swept their gaze and settled onto Kenji.

"You're 15 and tried to commit suicide." He sounded accusing.

Kenji could only nod, too entranced by his eyes.

"Why?"

His answer was immediate. "I hate my life."

Aoshi's tone of voice went almost venomous with disgust. "A coward runs; it takes a real man to fight what he cannot see."

A flush of anger crept up Kenji's face. "What do you know!" He cried defensively. He turned to look at me, his eyes two dark orbs. "This is bullshit – I'm leaving." He jumped up from his spot and made for the doorway.

"Sit down." The words had not come from my mouth. They came from Aoshi's. The order was enough to make my spine tingle.

Kenji stiffened, and finally slunk back into his seat. He met Aoshi's gaze defiantly. "So you've got spunk kid…..but every boy who tries to commit suicide does – in the beginning."

I wondered if Aoshi was completely crazy with the way he was taunting Kenji like that, and I opened my mouth to tell him to stop provoking, but he didn't let me get the chance.

"Surely you hate life for a reason."

"I am not answering you or your dumb questions." My son snapped.

"It's not a question and you will answer to me." Aoshi said, his voice quiet, and monotone. "If you don't hate it for a reason, then it will only go to say that you are stupid and you have no brains to think for yourself. If you want, I can quickly sign you up for an asylum so I can get on to your father's case."

In some ways, this was worse than having a body builder-type to be our psychiatrist. The way he cornered Kenji was amazing. Unlike my father, who was just obeyed, this man gave you no way out.

After they glared at each other for a while, Kenji eventually lost. He sat back in his chair, the air of brooding now around him as he glumly slouched. Aoshi didn't seem to care, as he took out a pen. "So, what do you wish for so badly that you would want to end your life?"

This time, it was a question and he wanted an answer. Kenji's voice was low and hoarse, like he was fighting back his irritation. "I want my mother to be alive. I don't want to stay in Tokyo." He took a sidelong glance to me. "And I don't want to live with my dad."

Aoshi's busy scribbling paused. He glanced at me wordlessly for a moment, before addressing Kenji again. "And what did your father….do……to you?"

Kenji snarled. "I believe the better question is – what has my father NOT done for me?" I think I cringed at that statement.

Aoshi smirked a bit at that. He held up a hand. "Thank you, that will be all."

I was most confused. The way this doctor worked was strange, and very foreign to me. I could not help but be wary as he turned his attention to me when he was finished writing down some notes on Kenji.

"Himura-san……" He glanced down at the paper in his hand. "It says here that you are depressed."

I fought my ego as it fought to tell him otherwise. I nodded. I was walling up my emotions, lest they get the best of me when he started asking questions. I did not want to break down – not in front of him….not in front of my son.

Yeah, my pride was quite a problem.

It surprised me again when he did not address my wife's death. Instead, he asked, "On a scale from one to ten, ten being the highest, where do you deem your relationship with your son lies?"

Kenji's smug look disappeared. Apparently, he must have been thinking the same thing I had been, because the question seemed to have caught him off guard too. He watched me curiously, setting his mouth into that firm line again.

"I'd say below five." I answered cautiously.

"I'd like a number, Himura-san." Aoshi interjected.

"3."

"Thank you." The pen started scribbling again, and my anxiety level started moving up higher. I dreaded his next question.

I should not have been surprised. Aoshi had a way of beating around the bush when it came to me. Either that, or he didn't seem particularly concerned about the past problems I'd had. He seemed more interested in my role as a father because he asked, "On a scale from one to ten, ten being the highest, how well do you think you know your son?"

Faltering a bit, I stammered, "I-I am not sure….."

He glared at me. "I'd like a _number_, Himura-san." Wow, was he ever the businessman.

Glaring back, I answered, "2" tightly. He didn't seem to care about the change in my tone of voice, because he said nothing as he began to scribble something else down.

Finally he announced, "How interesting. Tell me Himura-san, do you know your son's favorite color?"

Of course I knew that. "Black." I said, positively.

Aoshi's eyes swept to Kenji, his question not needing to be asked. "No." Kenji replied. "It's blue."

The pen began its writing again. I wondered if Kenji had done that purposely to annoy me.

"Kenji-kun – what's your dad's favorite food?" He asked, not looking up from the paper.

"Tonkatsu."

I shook my head. "No – it's Chanpuru."

Aoshi made a sound that came from deep in his throat, which sounded pensive. Finally, he stopped scribbling. "You two seem very spirited. Himura-san, I think your son is healthy and strong. You are also the same.

"But I realize that you both are lacking the communication part. I don't care what your pasts are at the moment, but for now, I just want to gather a bit more information about the both of you. So, I will ask you to list me ten good things about each other. And I will see you in three days."

That was it?

Wasn't he going to drone on and on about our psychological problems? Wasn't he going to ask more questions? It sounded more like I had gone to a parenting class instead of a psychiatrist. I wondered what good it would do to find out ten good things. I could come up with a huge list of bad things in no time. Already, the wheels in my head were turning.

I could see Kenji contemplating too.

The case was closed, as Aoshi closed both folders and stuffed them under his arm. He bade us goodbye and walked out, calling out to Shikijo that he was going for a lunch break.

Maybe this guy wasn't exactly professional after all – in my opinion, he seemed to be in a rush to eat something rather than care at all for his patients. So we left the room, feeling a bit astonished with the outcome of the interview.

Ten good things – heaven help if I could even get two.

Kenji actually sounded a bit lighter, as we said farewell to the secretary and stepped onto the elevator. "Well, that wasn't so bad."

He was right. It hadn't been bad at all.

When we got to the lobby, I called home to ask my dad to come pick us up. I think the mental pent up had left me exhausted. Even Kenji looked weary. Of course, my overbearing father agreed to do the favor, despite his grumbling on the other line.

As I slid into the front seat, Kenji's words as he had answered Aoshi's questions, repeated in my head. My fingers drummed on my kneecap, thoughtfully as I stared out the window. Dad was talking to Kenji, asking him how the first session to our 'treatment' was going. Kenji repeated what he had said in the elevator.

I was too busy thinking about what I could possibly start listing.

The image of a raven haired schoolteacher ran through my head. If anyone praised Kenji and saw him for more than just a school punk, it would be _her_.

So I had a dinner date with her for the next day, to the same restaurant we had gone to a couple of days ago.

And Dad watched me with a knowing grin.

Why did I always set myself up for things like this?

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Tonkatsu and Chanpuru are real Japanese food. New Q-street was made up.

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**To Be Continued………

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**

AN: What did you think? Did I do a good job? (is nervous) ah, also, next chapter, some more of Kenshin's past revealed – what are the ten things, I wonder? Next update should be soon, see you then.

Please leave me a review ne! Thanks for reading,

-Chiki


	11. Ten Things

IN THE END  
By: Chiki Yumeshisa

Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin…….all original characters/ideas are mine to claim.

AN: Oosu mata, minna-san! I'm so glad you are all enjoying it thus far! My thanks to those who reviewed and of course, I wanted to point out that Aoshi's first meeting with the Himuras was a mere test to get to know them more. With that said, keep piecing the puzzle together!

Warnings: Kenshin/Kaoru interaction! Patience – no flames please, as you have been warned.

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**CHAPTER 11**

**- Ten Things -**

"It's not a date, dad!" I said for the umpteenth time that day. I was standing in my room trying to figure what to wear that night at dinner. Dad's words, she _always looks so much better dressed than you, you should be disappointed boy,_ rang in my head despite my arguments. It's not like I was dressing to impress. I had to give in on that one: I did look shabby most of the time.

I guess I hadn't cared much any more. There was no use being professional around anyone anymore. Thus, I stood in front of my limited wardrobe, trying to find a good shirt. I finally found a neatly pressed dark purple polo shirt. It would have to do.

"Don't forget to put on a tie." My dad reminded me. With his tone of voice, I decided it was better not to argue.

"Are you really okay staying behind?" I asked, sarcastically. "Here I thought you were going to tag along."

He rolled his eyes at that. "And I would too – but you're an idiot and it seems that your son has acquired that trait too. I'm not letting that kid stay here at home alone. Besides, I have better things to do than watch you get goggle-eyed at that woman."

I pulled the shirt on, starting to slip the buttons into their respective button holes. I had to admit that it wasn't that bad. My hair seemed to clash with the color, but at the moment, I could not waste any more time. I had spent all Sunday morning cleaning the already clean house, and now, I was afraid to be late for my appointment with Kenji's teacher. The black slacks I wore were a bit too long for me, and a bit loose around the waist that I had to poke another hole in my belt to make it snug around my middle.

The black tie matched the pants nicely, and I pulled my hair back into a low ponytail, as I had no idea what else to do with it. Braids? No, totally out of the question.

Kenji was sitting at the kitchen table, his bandaged arm was propped up on the surface of it. He had his books and paper spread out over it, as he was concentrating on finishing his homework. He was well enough to return to school the next day, so he was trying to catch up on everything missed. He looked up as I entered, taking in my figure curiously. "You're really going?" He demanded.

I nodded, and he groaned. "This is so embarrassing!" He cried, dropping his pencil and bringing his hand up to his forehead. "I can't believe my dad is dating my teacher!"

I checked my figure in the bathroom mirror, and absently brushed my bangs off my forehead, only to have them fall back into place. "It's not a date!" I protested again, indignantly. However, it seemed that both my father and son would not listen to me on that subject.

"This is just great – if anyone at school hears about this……" Kenji grumbled, picking up his pencil again, a bit roughly.

I guess I could understand what his sentiments were. After all, if it had been me, I would have been hopping upset. But I didn't see what the problem was: it was not a date! However, Kenji refused to agree with me, too mortified over the fact that I was going to be talking with his teacher over dinner. "You could just call her on the phone!" He insisted. "Besides, what do you have to talk to her about that's so important?"

Of course, I hadn't told Kenji my reasons. For one thing, I didn't want to make him upset over the fact that I did not know him enough to write at least three good points about him. For another, I did not want him to know that Kaoru was very fond of him as her student. Even that might offend him in some strange way or another.

"Stuff." I answered, blandly.

"Have a good dinner." Hiko told me, that annoying smirk still there. I just wished he would wipe that everlasting grin off his face. I was grateful, however, that he had rescued me from a spat with my son.

Nodding to acknowledge that, I stepped outside. Even though dad had offered to drive me down to the restaurant, I insisted I wanted to walk. For some strange reasons, I was getting butterflies in my stomach, and suddenly, I remembered just who it was that I was going to be eating with.

Kaoru.

I wondered why I was continually doing this to myself. I remembered that I didn't like her much, and that I couldn't stand her most of the time.

Pushing those dark thoughts aside, I instead began to try and figure out what to tell her. In no time at all, I was in front of that little restaurant, my hands stuffed into the pockets of my slacks, my feet killing me in my polished black shoes.

I went in to check if she was there. Since she wasn't, I glanced down at my watch. I was early by an hour. Good. I did not like people having to wait for me. I sat at the same table we had sat at before, going through the menu with distant interest.

My mind was instead on that psychiatrist. I could not help but wonder why he had asked us those strange questions, and why he had given me homework. I smiled, ruefully; here I was, a grown man, and I was still getting homework!

The restaurant was not crowded, but it wasn't exactly empty either. There were more people there to eat dinner than the other night.

Kaoru arrived ten minutes after 6:00, which had been the time of agreement. She seemed out of breath, her usually pale cheeks were tinged with a bit of pink, and she was still trying to catch her breath. Like dad had predicted, she was dressed up nicely, her ebony locks up in her usual ponytail, except this time, it was held in place with a purple ribbon.

She was wearing a purple blouse and black slacks, which, in all its simplicity, made her look pretty. She quickly jogged over to where I was sitting once she had spotted me and asked, "Sorry I'm late. Did you wait long?"

I almost snapped an answer back, but instead, I managed a bleak smile. "No," I lied, "I just got here a while ago." I did not want her feeling terrible. After all, I had been the one to arrange this whole thing and bother her. I gestured for her to sit.

Placing her purse in her lap, she smoothly sat down across from me, crossing one leg over the other as she did so. "Wow, Himura-san, you look great today."

My known blush was making itself visible at her words. I averted my gaze, staring at the yellow tablecloth spread out before me. I think I mumbled my thanks or something, but she kept going. "We match tonight too! But I think your shirt really brings out the color in your eyes."

My eyes were a soft purple color. Most people found it strange, and asked if I wore contacts. I had totally forgotten about it when I had chosen the shirt. Heh, it looked like I did have good taste after all.

"You look good tonight too." I managed, feeling like an idiot. I couldn't help but think about what she thought about me all the other times she had seen me. I quickly picked up my glass of water and drank, feeling my throat go dry.

She picked up the menu. "Have you ordered yet?" She asked, flipping through.

"No." I answered, putting my glass down a bit too abruptly, because she jumped. Her blue eyes wandered to me, curiously.

Luckily, the waiter came just then, ready to take our orders. After we had decided, Kaoru leaned forward. "I forgot to pay for my half last time. I'm sorry." She began to reach into her purse, but I waved my hand to dismiss the thought. She frowned, her fingers edging away. "Is something bothering you, Himura-san? You seem distracted."

I nodded a bit. "Well, I guess I am a bit….I visited that psychiatrist you recommended. He wasn't what I expected……"

"Shinomori-san?" She sounded delighted. "He's really good, don't you think?"

What was I supposed to say to that? I had no idea yet. I gave her a helpless shrug as a response. I took a deep breath. Here I went: "Kamiya-san, actually, I need your…..help."

She fingered the end of her ponytail thoughtfully, pulling at the strands over her shoulder anxiously. She waited for me to continue.

"Can you list some good things about……Kenji?"

Now she was surprised. "Kenji?" Then she got a bit of a glower. Uh oh…..what had I done wrong this time?

"Himura Kenshin! I can not believe you are using me to do your assignment! Why, he's your son! Surely you must think something good about him!"

I shrunk back. I had not been expecting that reaction from her. Maybe my idea wasn't exactly the best after all. She had edged forward and now she pulled back with a huff. "Do you have any idea what that makes you look like as a father?"

I could not bite back my anger at that statement. She was one of the people who could provoke me with a single word, if need be. "I am a bad father!" I almost shouted. "I already know that. I don't need you passing judgment on me."

Kaoru looked shocked at my outburst. She blinked a couple of times, and it took me a while to realize that every head in the restaurant was turned in our direction. I didn't care.

"I didn't mean it that way," She mumbled. I don't think this was how she was expecting our little chat would go either. "I didn't mean to pass judgment at all, I just….." She was no clutching the table cloth in her hands tightly. "I just thought….." She trailed off, not finishing the sentence.

We sat in silence for a while, and I wondered whether she would get up and leave. Date my ass – if we had been on one, I'd have ruined it even before it began! She didn't leave though, just staring down at the tablecloth in dismay.

The food came, but neither of us ate it right away. I didn't want to start unless she ate, and she didn't seem like she wanted to any more.

"I don't think you're a bad father, Himura-san." She suddenly said, as I folded a napkin neatly by my chopsticks, absently. I glanced up at her, but she was still looking down at the tablecloth. "If you were, you would not have cared what Kenji did with his life."

She peered up at me. "What do you think of him?

"I……" I paused. I glanced down at the table cloth too "He reminds me of his mother." I said finally.

"And?"

"And….he….uh…..well, he is sensitive." I answered carefully. Kaoru blinked at me with that statement. "You are the same." She said, winking.

"Both touchy and both very sad……."

"Sad?" I asked.

"Kenji has a wonderful smile." She told me, firmly. "I bet you do too. I have never seen a real one on your face before."

Those weren't needed any more though. Those were lost with the winds as they left me cold, shaken and torn inside. Those were lost in the oceans of my grief and despair.

We began to eat then. Despite our argument, the food was delicious. I seemed to have a very hungry appetite, because I ate with vigor, almost forgetting the manners I had been brought up with. Yet, even then, I doubt Kaoru would have minded. I was a bit unsure how to act around her. She was unlike anyone I had ever met before. She was nosy and intruding, yet…..

"Do I have something on my face?" she asked.

It took me a while to realize I was staring at her in fascination. "No." I said, quickly looking away. "I find you so irritating." I admitted.

She actually giggled. "I find you just as irritating." She flung back. "You make the worst company."

How frank. My ego was seriously suffering under her administration. It seemed it would never get mercy from anyone. I actually found myself grinning at her straightforward remark.

"Kenji's a good kid." She announced. "Sad, but I believe he was once happy. Rebellious, but I believe he's just scared. Lonely, but it's because he's shy. He's got great potential, but just needs someone to motivate him. He admires people, just doesn't say it. He's thoughtful but guarded, smart and doesn't show it. Most of all, he's really handsome."

She had just listed almost ten things for me and hadn't even noticed it. She

knew Kenji better than I did, I was impressed. "Surely you see that in him too,

don't you, Himura-san?"

I was mentally trying to keep track of all the stuff she had said about Kenji, that I didn't hear that last question. "Sure, I guess….." I picked at the piece of vegetable disdainfully. I did not like cauliflower very much. I gathered my wits and looked up at her. "Actually, Kamiya-san, I don't know my son very well at all.

"I've only lived with him for this past year. Prior to that, I have no idea what he's been up to, or who he is. It is different for me to have to take care of someone, yet, because I was a bad father, I wish to make up for my mistakes….."

I know I had been vague in my explanation, but it seemed to satisfy Kaoru enough. I don't think she was expecting me to start opening up to her. I felt a pressure on my chest lift a little with the explanation. "So," I continued, "I really need your help: Kenji is not home most of the time, and he never opens up to me. Since you see him more than I do, I was hoping……."

Kaoru smiled, reassuringly. "Himura-san, you really are sweet. Like I said before, I don't think you are a bad father; however, I don't know your whole story. Still, you are willing to make up for your mistakes. Kenji should see that too."

"He doesn't." I told her, hearing my voice crack. I looked past her, at the swinging doors to the kitchen. They were made of steel and they swished open on its hinges as a waiter came out, carrying with him two trays with meals, balancing them expertly. From behind the big doors, there came the puff of smoke from the stoves, and the shouts of the cooks.

She pushed her half-eaten plate of Nigiri-Zushi away and pressed her hands together, drumming her fingers against her knuckles thoughtfully. "Kenji doesn't open up to me either, Himura-san, what makes you think he does?"

I pulled away a bit, leaning my back against the cushioned seat. "I'm trying my best here, Kamiya-san." I protested. "You're the only one I could think of. Unless, you don't want to help me, I understand."

Kaoru squinted at me for a moment, studying me. Suddenly, her hand reached out and tugged on a lock of hair. "Your eyes…..they're….purple."

I think I had established that fact with my shirt, a little while ago. I blinked in dismay. That had not been the answer I was looking for. I did not like the way she was fingering my hair. It made me feel queasy to the stomach. "Kenji's eyes are a darker blue….." She told me, fingers retracting when I shied away from them.

"Yuki's eyes were dark." I blurted.

Now her eyebrow raised in question. "Yuki?"

I wanted to disappear from my spot. She suddenly seemed excited. "Is that your wife's name? Oh it does suit her," she gushed, "she was very beautiful."

"Kamiya-san," I growled, "Can we kindly leave her out of this conversation?" I didn't have the heart to tell her that it was a mere nickname that I had grown used to calling her. At the moment, I didn't want to think of anything to do with my late wife.

Sobering down, Kaoru gasped. "Yes, yes, of course – I'm sorry." She mumbled, embarrassed. She tossed her black mane over her shoulder, and began to reach for her purse. "I'm about done." She announced, switching the topic – thankfully – off of the sticky situation. "I'm full to the brim."

As she began to withdraw her money, I firmly placed my hand over hers. "No, I'll handle it." I said.

She began to protest, but I held her in my gaze. "I insist. It's my treat." I had, after all, made her come all the way down here. We aggravated each other to the point of insanity it seemed. Yet she had escaped the whole ordeal without so much of a glare.

Realizing my hand was still on hers, she pulled it away. "All right then, if you insist." She said evenly.

I withdrew the money from my own wallet, placing it on the table. "What else have you to say on Kenji?" I asked, hopefully.

She got up, pulling on her light jacket and shrugging it over her shoulders. With one hand clutching her purse, she used the other to flip her hair out of the collar. Her eyes locked with mine again. "That you love him." She noted. "More than anything in the world. You wouldn't be able to bear it if he had gone through with his intentions."

I stared up at her, mesmerized. She was right: I would have been miserable for the rest of my life. She extended her hand down to help me out from my seat, as I sat there, dumb.

That brought my list to a close, it seemed. It looked like Kaoru did know my son better than I did. It also looked like I had come to the right person.

As I had not brought a jacket with me, I stuffed my wallet in my back pocket and fell into step with her. Funny how a couple of days ago, I dreaded walking side by side with her. Now, here I was, doing just that.

We stepped out of the restaurant into the cool night air. It was now a quarter to eight, according to the hands on the watch I was wearing. Traffic had not slowed though, in the main intersection a few blocks away, as I could still hear the sounds of engines and horns in the distance. The little street we were on was thankfully for the most part, quiet.

"I don't have my car." Kaoru said, clutching her purse to herself as she began to walk. "That's why I was so late in coming."

So that meant, I would be walking her home. Last time, it hadn't been so late when she ran out of the restaurant, but now, I did not want her risking her safety going alone. When I announced that I would bring her to her doorstep, she smiled a bit. "Himura-san, are you always this protective of every girl?"

I smirked in response, "No. Just the fragile-looking ones."

"Is that so?" Her mouth quirked. "I think I am capable of taking care of myself. I was the captain of my kendo club when I was in high school and that wasn't very long ago."

Very impressive. Okay, fine, so I was being a bit sardonic and cruel, but I couldn't help myself. It was Kaoru I was speaking with, if you get my hint. I decided to say nothing more on the topic lest I wanted to experience her wrath. She was good enough with words as it was, so I didn't want to push my luck.

We started chatting then, about the weather, about the economy, about where we would like to travel had we the time and money. I chose France – I'd always wanted to see the Eiffel Tower up close. I'd also heard that French was one of the most romantic languages in the world. Maybe I knew one or two words, but that was as far as my knowledge in that language went. There was a time where my dream of going there could have come true, but not anymore it seemed.

Kaoru said she'd love to go to Hawaii, and try the Hula dancing she had seen before on television. Of course, she blushed slightly when I asked her if she would really dance around in nothing but a grass skirt and a skimpy top, and told me that she'd never, for anyone, take off her shirt.

I smiled at her naivety, and we crossed another street to get to her apartment. It was one of those buildings that stood 30 floors above the ground level. Though it wasn't really a condominium, it was still decent. She lived on the fifteenth floor, next to a kindly old man by the name of Gensai and his two granddaughters that she had become very fond of.

It was strange how we spoke so casually about the strangest stuff. I was not the type to make small talk, but here I was, listening intently as she told me about the two children, and how they filled her loneliness.

The lobby was huge, and she pulled out her keys by the double glass doors, to let herself inside. That was where I was going to part with her, but she tilted her head to the side. "Why don't you come up for a while?" She asked. "I could get you some tea – you were walking around without a coat……"

Self consciously, I stuffed my hands into my pockets, scuffing the floor with my foot, inattentively. "I don't want to intrude," I said, politely. "It's getting late and I should go……"

"It's not late," She said, glancing at her watch, "and I wouldn't mind the company. Since I don't have anything to mark tonight, I have time to waste."

I stuck out my tongue a bit. "I thought I was bad company?"

She laughed. "I got used to it." She pulled the door open after having a small battle with her keys. She held it open for me, and I went past, reluctantly. If dad were to hear that I went to the girl's house, he'd never let me live it down. Not to mention poor Kenji would be mortified and would probably never speak to me again.

"Do you have something you need to do?" Kaoru asked, as I followed her past a small common room where an elderly couple was resting. They greeted her as we went by, their eyes following me curiously. We headed straight for the elevator, as I was not quite up to walking up fifteen flights of stairs. As we made it in front of the elevator, I nearly tripped on a crimson rug that looked up at me from beneath my feet.

I glared at it, morosely, and answered, "Not really……"

Kaoru seemed pleased with that news as we stepped into the elevator and got off on her floor. We followed the hallway to the end, where she lived and let me inside.

I should have known that her apartment would be small and cluttered. Her living room table was a mess of papers and books. Her armchair stood at a strange angle in front of her television set, and somewhere in the house, the phone was ringing. I wouldn't have been surprised if it was buried somewhere under the pile of clothes she had littering the couch. Which ones were dirty, I had no clue.

From where I stood, I could see the mess she had in the kitchen, with overflowing pots and pans, grease sticking to the oven's surface. Of course, I could not say anything without sounding rude, so I took my shoes off at the door, wondering if there was a need to – it may have been safer if I kept them on.

No one would have guessed by looking at Kaoru, that she was such a rat pack. I swore I saw a bottle cap collection in a box, by the doorway.

She seemed oblivious to my shocked silence, as she swept right past me, depositing her purse on the couch without so much of a thought. It joined the pile of clothing, nesting in them nicely.

"Come in, come in!" She sang. "Please, take a seat!" She went straight to the kitchen, where I heard her turn on the water.

_Where?_ I thought, glancing at the couch disdainfully. Over the back of a chair, she had carelessly draped her coat. I gingerly stepped over a little stack of books on her floor, and made my way to the only seat available – the single chair in front of the television. Making sure that it was not dirty in any way, I straightened it and sat down, feeling very awkward indeed.

It was far from a dumpster, but I guess I would not have expected a girl to live so……messily. A few parts of her little apartment was still intact. She had a huge china cabinet, sitting snug in the corner. Inside, held a few trinkets of value and photo frames.

"Do you mind if I take a look around?" I called, not wanting to just sit there.

"Sure!" She called back.

So I was out of my seat, wandering her small living room. There was a picture of a man and a woman staring happily at the camera together. Both were wearing the traditional kimono. I guess they were her parents, as she looked remarkably like her mother. Their wedding picture.

And to the left of that photo frame, was another one with a pudgy child that was holding a wilted flower in one hand and smiling up at the camera happily. No doubt Kaoru when she had been little.

Then there were photos of her when she had been in high school and university. One of the figures she was standing beside looked very familiar, and I swore I had met her before, but I just couldn't remember who it was exactly.

But I definitely knew the figure in the last photo I stared at.

I could not possibly forget.

_**(0-0-0-0-0)**_

My papers scattered all over the place, and I slumped heavily against the whitewashed wall. A searing pain shot up my arm as I did so, and my shock at the sudden violence made me unable to stand up straight.

"Really sorry about that, Himura." He jeered, staring down at me.

I pushed myself off the wall, staring hotly. Who did he think he was, blundering into me like that?

To my anger, I watched as he tipped his coffee mug a bit, letting the contents of black liquid drip out. Onto my papers. In dismay, my theory sheets were destroyed, and he merely looked up and feigned an innocent expression. "Oops – slipped."

Growling under my breath, I coiled up, ready to spring and attack him. The bastard! Here I thought that he would have at least matured a bit. He was a university student for goodness sake! I felt a pressure on my shoulders though, preventing me from strangling him. Angrily, I turned to see who was brave enough to do so, and was a bit surprised to see Sano glaring at my offender. "Back off, Akira." He spat.

Akira stared at him, blankly, and then shrugged. "Oh Sagara – can't you mind your own business? You always just get in the way."

"My fist will get in your way, if you pull shit like that again."

Sanosuke warned.

I scrambled to my feet properly, feeling stupid. If Akira meant to demean me, he managed to pull it off quite well.

Seeing that Sanosuke wasn't joking, Akira gave me a tight-lipped smile. "Oh, Himura, I'm really sorry about the accident. I guess I wasn't looking where I was going."

He kicked at the papers on the floor. "Did you want help with this?" he asked. "I could give you my notes……"

"My ass, Akira!" I snapped. "What the heck is your problem anyway?"

He spread his arms out, his tone sarcastic when he answered me. "Let's not be so cruel – I did say I was sorry." He smirked. "How careless of me……really."

I felt Sano's hand on my shoulder again, and I realized with a jolt, that my hands had balled themselves into fists. Without another word, Akira had turned and walked away, his white lab coat flapping behind him.

There was nothing I could do now. I was pissed that I hadn't been able to sock him one, and at the same time, I was glad Sano did not let me. I would be suspended for sure. Mournfully, I looked down at the papers that had scattered all over the place. I had already managed to make myself an enemy.

But then again, Kiyosato Akira never seemed to like me when I had first entered the University. He seemed very hostile, in fact, using every excuse he could find to trip me up. Like today.

The papers I had worked on for five hours straight were ruined. My wife had tried to make me go to bed, but I had been so engrossed in finishing and making them perfect; I had lost sleep because of them. My carefully calculated theories and answers were covered with dark brown spots of his coffee. I began to pick them up, Sano bending down and lending me a hand.

"You all right, kid?" He asked me.

I think I needed to go for a walk. I took the offered stack of papers from him and managed to nod. "I've got an hour before class, maybe I could rewrite all of them." I said, looking down at the thirty or more page report now safely piled in my arms.

He frowned. "That was a dirty trick he pulled."

I watched as Akira's figure disappeared behind the twin swinging doors to our class. "It's no use crying over spilt milk." I quoted. I forced a smile. "A few of them are ruined, not all. I hope that I can get it done."

With that said, I moved toward the library to do as I promised. It took me more than that hour to finish re-writing the damaged parts, and by that time, I was already more than a little late for my class. Professor Houjo would not be very happy with my tardiness.

I was more than relieved when I entered to find that my professor had given us a lab to work on, instead of teaching the class. I handed him the assignment, and took my post next to a boy that went by the name of Okita, who happened to be another friend. Just my luck, Akira was to his left, and from there, he scowled at me.

"Managed to finish it, Himura?" Asked Akira coldly.

I gave him a placid smile. "Yeah – thanks for spilling that coffee Akira; I found a couple of mistakes while I was rewriting it. It should be perfect now."

At this, I got the desired effect. Akira's eyes seemed to bulge at that, and his face went pale. His fingers clutched his test tube angrily. "We'll see, Himura." He said smoothly, as Okita suppressed a chortle.

I honestly don't know what his problem was. He seemed to be frightened by the fact that I was doing better than him in that class – heck, better than him in all our classes together. Yes; we were both specialists in the same field. Naturally, he wanted his competition gone, but even in this, he was not able to beat me.

At the end of class, Okita walked out with me, his lab coat momentarily getting caught on the corner of one of the desks. We watched Akira storm out of the class, and we slid past those swinging doors again. "You shouldn't provoke him like that, Kenshin." Okita admonished.

I rolled my eyes. "What he did was nasty." I insisted. "Besides, it's true: there were mistakes. I managed to correct them."

I beat Akira in that assignment. And the next. He was not happy about his standard in second place next to me.

And as the days went by, Akira acted as if every mistake he did was my fault. He did everything in his power to get me into trouble. Especially on the day of our exam.

I could never forgive him for that.

Of course, there had been no way to prove him guilty.

And the blame fell on me.

It always fell on me.

**To Be Continued………

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**

_In Japan, the kitchen is off limits to guests, usually. Thus, the reason why Kenshin did not offer his help in making the tea.

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_

AN: Please do review! Also, if anyone has any guesses, feel free to let me know! Thanks for your support and for those of you who email me, I greatly appreciate it. Sorry for the late update; the next chapter should not be so late in coming. Thanks for reading,

-Chiki


	12. Back To Square One

IN THE END

By: Chiki Yumeshisa

Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin…….all original characters/ideas are mine to claim.

AN: Hi everyone! Thanks for your guesses. In this chapter, something important will be revealed! Please enjoy.

Warnings: Be surprised if you haven't already figured out the clues I have been dropping. No flames please, as I have been hinting all throughout. For those who already knew, CONGRATULATIONS!

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**CHAPTER 12**

**- Back To Square One -**

Kaoru came out of the kitchen then, in her hands two cups of tea. She saw me staring at the photo and made an inquiring noise with her throat.

"Was that your boyfriend?" I asked, turning to take the cup from her.

She nodded, taking a sip of her own. I glanced at the picture again, with scrutiny. She seemed apprehensive because she asked, "Do you know him?"

I looked down at the picture of her hanging off his arm. "Yes." I murmured.

She tilted her head to the side a bit. "Really? How?"

I forced a smile. "We were……classmates." I said, vaguely. "We weren't quite friends." I allowed.

Kaoru pushed aside a couple of the clothes on her couch, sitting down with her cup of tea between her fingertips. She seemed a bit upset when she looked over at the picture. "What a small world……" she mumbled. "I guess it's really hard to be a doctor. I have decided I will never go out with one again." She announced.

Making my way back to my seat, I slumped there, not letting her words get to me. Sure I didn't like Akira, but she had insulted me indirectly. She didn't know though, and so I let it drop. It was better not to dwell on something in the past anyway.

All of a sudden, there was an uneasy silence in the air – I had nothing to say, and neither did she, I suppose. We sort of just stared at each other. For the first time ever, she seemed speechless. Since I was never the type to speak my thoughts aloud, it was normal for me to be silent. It hit me: what on earth was I doing here?

Then she spoke, breaking the silence that had stretched for what seemed like an eternity. "I wanted to thank you – for putting up with me." She sounded almost….shy? I had to blink to rid myself of my surprise. She glanced down at her cup, like it was the most interesting thing in the world. "I mean….well, I really appreciate you spending time with me, it feels like I have finally made a friend."

I wanted to choke. In my opinion, I had not been too friendly with her. Heck, I had wanted to stay away from her at all costs! Yet there was something about her that drew me to her no matter how much I did not want to. I guess it was safe to say that I was starting to consider her a friend too, as I came to her with my problems.

Kaoru continued, rushing as if she didn't want me to say anything that might ruin the moment. "I come from another part of Tokyo, that's why. My family is down there, and so are my friends. I thought I'd never make a friend here, but I met you." She looked up at me, that sad smile on her lips again. "I bet you don't feel the same."  
I felt myself going red in the face. "I-I….well, I do find your presence a bit….disarming……" I said slowly, not wanting to look her in the eye, "but I am getting used to your company. I must apologize." I put the cup of unfinished tea on the floor, the chinaware making a small sound as I did so. "My family and friends are up in Kyoto, so, I, too have no friends here. I have become more or less antisocial, to put it bluntly."

She leaned forward a bit, her ponytail wobbling. "I hope you can learn to trust me, Himura-san."

I smiled at that, picking the cup up again. She beamed, jumping off her couch, sending half the stuff on it crashing to the floor disgracefully. I don't think she cared as she didn't even take a backward glance at it, flying into the kitchen shouting, "I forgot to turn the stove off!"

Rolling my eyes, I hoisted myself off my seat to go pick them up. Don't blame me if I was a neat freak. Those clothing lying all over the place was just an eyesore. Luckily, they were all clean and I folded each of them quickly and piled them neatly in one corner of the couch so by the time she came back, she was quite surprised. I would have put them in her room, but I had more decency than to go walking all over her house without her permission.

She went red in the face, realizing that I had been doing her laundry, some of which were her lingerie. As she was about to scold me for it, I interrupted in a quiet voice, "I think it's time for me to go now. It's getting late."

Snapping her mouth shut, Kaoru nodded and watched as I got up. She nervously took my teacup from me and I went to go get my shoes on. I thanked her for her time and opened the door for myself. I froze when she said,

"Come again, okay, Kenshin?"

I turned slowly. "Kamiya-san…….."

She was red as a tomato, maybe surpassing the color of my hair. I could tell that my eyes were wide, because I felt as if my eyes were popping out of my head. Had I heard right?

"Can I use that name?" She asked, hopefully. "I like it a lot….and I thought, since I consider you a friend….."

I blinked, and gave her a shallow stare, shrugging. "Go ahead." I didn't particularly care any more. I think I was exhausted worrying about what every body else thought. But Kaoru was different; she didn't seem to mind me for who I was. Well, I guess it was because she didn't know me very well, but I liked it that way.

She was most pleased with that, because her face went from red, to two little pink spots on her cheeks. "I-if you want, you can call me Kaoru." She suggested. I shrugged again and turned fully in my spot, giving her a small bow.

"Good night then, Kaoru-san." I tested the name slowly, trying to get used to it. "And thank you."

Kaoru nodded, and called out for me to be careful on my way.

As I exited her building, I stuffed my hands into my pockets and began my long trek home, running through some excuses in my mind to explain why I was going to be arriving home so late. I was most definitely not going to tell my dad that I went to her house.

I was most lucky, because by the time I arrived home, he was asleep.

**0-0-0-0-0**

And Kenji and I were back in Aoshi's office again the next day, after Kenji came home from school, each with our ten listed things in hand. Of course, I had not been able to take a glance from Kenji's sheet, nor him mine. In fact, that day, my son seemed to be more confident than when we had first gone together.

We did not say much on the way there, except to ask each other if we had finished the work he had assigned us to do, and wonder what else was in store for us.

Shikijo greeted us heartily from his desk as we stepped off onto the 18th floor again. His ready smile and small eyes still made me feel queasy. Kenji seemed ill at ease too because he went straight for the chair furthest from him as possible.

When we entered the room where the doctor was, the butterflies began to return. The files on his desk now held the papers Kenji and I had given to the secretary and he was reading them over quickly. Only after he had finished going through them, did he bother to stand up and greet us both. And then, he went straight down to business.

"Himura-san, I trust you are well?"

I nodded, nervously running my hand through my hair. It looked like he would pick on me first today. He had that pen hovering over my files again.

"You had an interesting report." He announced. "Vague and not quite what I was looking for, but it will do. It tells me you have a rather……distant relationship with your child." Kenji snorted at that, and earned himself a cold glare.

He turned that gaze to me, making me feel even worse. "For the record, would you say your son is closer to you or your wife?"  
My answer was automatic. "My wife."

Aoshi frowned. "It says here your wife has been dead for 3 years, Himura-san." I felt my stomach tighten at that. I was most aware of how long ago she had passed away. "It puzzles me greatly……"

"I only moved in last year." Kenji interrupted. His voice sounded unforgiving. Like me, he hated it when people pried into his personal life. Unfortunately for us, that was the job of a psychiatrist.

Aoshi's brows shot up in amusement. "Oh? And where did you live prior to that?"

"In Kyoto with my father." I intervened. That pen of his was scribbling things down like crazy.

He never asked anything for a while, just writing things down. I felt edgy, as I didn't like his calculating gaze. Finally he asked me, "Did you visit your son often when he wasn't living with you?"

I opened my mouth to make an excuse, but Kenji was staring at me hotly now. I looked away, shaking my head and muttering a no. "I would go when I had time off." I defended myself. "I had things to do, see……"

Our psychiatrist merely nodded dully, as if not hearing what I had just finished saying. Instead, he turned to Kenji and asked, "Were you hard to handle when you were living with your grandfather?"

Kenji shrugged. "Not really."

"What about your mother?"

"No."

"Why?"

Kenji shrugged again. "Because……I don't know."

Aoshi's gaze turned into that cold one again, and I was suddenly glad that it wasn't me whom he was questioning. "That's not the answer I was looking for." He tapped the pen on the desk impatiently and reworded himself. "What makes you so rebellious towards your father?"

"I don't understand how a person I have never known my whole life can suddenly step in and tell me how to run it." Kenji said.

It was as if I wasn't even there.

A small smile tugged on Aoshi's lips as his pen slowly began moving across the page. "Even if he's your father?"

Kenji faltered a bit, and said nothing in response to that. He seemed in thought though, but as usual, I had no idea what he could possibly be thinking about. To my dismay, Aoshi turned his attention back to me.

"Have you ever considered remarrying?" He asked.

I blinked and felt my cheeks start to heat up. "No." I admitted. "I don't think I could ever…….."

He suddenly slammed my file closed. "_You_ can't be helped." He announced. He nodded towards Kenji, "And _he_ should go through mental therapy."

How absolutely consoling.

Both Kenji and I could only gape at his decision. How could he just say that when all he had done was ask us a couple of questions? He didn't even know the whole story! My frustration and anger at his words were building inside me. The idea that I could never be helped and that my son was a mental case made it even worse.

"It is obvious you don't want to be helped, Himura-san." Aoshi told me evenly, before I could even sputter in protest. "You don't wish to answer my questions honestly and you don't wish to reveal anything about yourself.

"The same goes for you, Kenji-kun. Anger at me does not bother me at all – it just tells me that you are not willing to listen. You can be an arrogant punk for the rest of your life for all I care. I can't help patients who don't want to be helped. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have other patients to……"

I don't remember when I had gotten out of my seat, or why. I just found myself standing, hands clenched into fists by my sides. "You have no right to tell me that. You don't know what it feels like to lose someone you loved. You have no idea how much it hurts when you know that you couldn't do anything….but stand and watch……..and you don't know the pain of being helpless and being left behind!"

Aoshi regarded me as I realized that I was spouting off senselessly. But at the moment, I could not care less – that was how I felt. Dimly, I was aware that he had picked up the pen again, and had opened my file. "You're right, Himura-san……" He said quietly. "I don't know what it feels like. But I do know that keeping things to yourself is very dangerous."

"I'm not crazy either." Kenji's voice made us both turn to look at him. "Try me."

For the longest time, Aoshi didn't say anything. Finally he gave a satisfied nod. "Very well: you both pass. I'm glad to see that you aren't happy with the prescriptions I gave you." He was back to scribbling madly. I wondered just how much he had written on that one page since I'd begun to speak. "For the meantime, Kenji-kun, it would be better if you released some of that anger. It may sound dumb, but for the next week, keep a diary and spout off in there, with words. This is to keep you from taking your anger out on someone else or on yourself.

"And you, Himura-san, find someone to confide in. Like I said before, it's not healthy keeping everything to yourself. It is painful to move forward, but it must be done."

He scribbled some more notes, and smoothly closed our files. Again, he knit his fingers under his chin, thoughtfully. "I am merely doing a check on the both of you. I want to make sure that you are willing to go through the help I intend to give you. If not, let's not waste each other's time."

With that, our little session was over. How strange it all seemed. Kaoru was right: this guy was certainly one of the best. His tactics were different, and his approaches were subtle but at the same time, very blunt. I was relieved to know that the next time we would see each other would be the next week. I don't think I could take any more of his critical glances that day anyway.

I was also a bit worried: it seemed that the real help hadn't yet begun……..

When we reached our house, Dad was busy dragging his suitcase to his car. In surprise, I jogged up to him. He hoisted a few boxes into the back seats, calling out for Kenji to come help as well. There was a small pile of them stacked outside on the ground waiting to be put in.

"You have to leave so soon?" I asked, pulling his car's back compartment closed with a slam after I had finished putting in a large box labeled FRAGILE. I dusted my hands off, a bit disgusted having touched some slimy dirt. It made me want to take another shower all over again.

Dad glanced at me. "Aw, quit acting like you'll miss me, boy."

I had to admit that I would, but of course, I held my tongue. Kenji, however, seemed more upset about it than I did. "Can't you stay for a few more days?" He demanded.

My dad reached around and ruffled his hair. "No. I have to take care of my business. I've been away for too long already."

A week and a half was not very long in my opinion, but I guess I could understand. I wondered how I would survive the rest of Kenji's house arrest. Hiko merely gave me a poke in the ribs with his elbow. "It'll be fine." He muttered as he swept by. There was no way in the world I would ever figure out how he knew exactly what I was thinking of.

I followed him back into the house while Kenji busied himself with loading the smaller boxes into the back seats.

"I leave tomorrow morning." Dad was saying, making his way to the spare room he had been using during his little stay with us. "Since you and Kenji seem to be okay now anyway, it's safe for me to go. We had a little problem back home, something about a break in, so I have to investigate." Taking one last glance around the room to make sure he had gotten all that was necessary, he turned to peer at me through his dark bangs. "You think you'll be okay?"

I licked my lips, nodding reluctantly. "We'll be fine….."

"This time around, I'll be expecting you." He announced, his voice getting all commanding and righteous again. "It's high time you said hello to your friends and mother."

I abstained from rolling my eyes lest it earn me a cuff to the side of my head. I was made to promise that I would, but when that would happen, I had no clue. Kenji came in then, the door crashing loudly as it fell into place when he closed it roughly. He seemed a bit flustered, but said nothing, going straight to his bedroom.

In a moment's time, loud rock music filtered down the hallway, as he once again, detached himself from the world and drifted away from reality. Dad was making faces, but I could have cared less. If it meant that Kenji was out of my hair I was most happy.

A piece of dust caught my eye on top of the counter and I desperately wiped it off. It made me want to fly into a frenzy, cleaning the rest of my house, but dad's anxious voice interrupted me. "Something came in the mail….."

I blinked. I had gotten the mail earlier in the afternoon. Surely I hadn't missed one? I turned my questioning gaze to him, and he continued, the hand behind his back handing me a white envelope. The name on the sheet made me feel dizzy.

"What does he want?" Dad demanded.

I could only stare in confusion. I had not kept in contact with this person for years, and all of a sudden, he wanted my attention. "I don't know." I answered, truthfully.

"If it's going to cause trouble….." Hiko started to say. I felt my hands crush the envelope in the middle with my fist.

"…..it won't." I interrupted, coldly. "I've got nothing to do with him, and he's got no business with me." I had no intention to open the letter. Actually, my plan was to turn and throw it in the garbage where it belonged. Any word from Kain meant nothing to me.

Dad seemed a bit taken aback, but he let me be. I was grateful for that. He seemed a bit edgy though, and I reassured him that it would be okay; he could leave for Kyoto without a worry.

And he did, but with great reluctance. I got the usual list of 'do's and 'don'ts, and it irked me the way he thought I was incapable of taking care of myself. Kenji got an even longer list than I did, so I guess I was smugly peeved. Still, I couldn't help but feel a bit worried as Dad's car got out of the driveway and disappeared down our street.

Now it was just me and Kenji……

With a scowl, my son stormed off into the house.

Sighing, I followed.

**0-0-0-0-0**

To my great relief, Kenji sailed through the rest of his sentence without so much of a care. Most of the time, he would be buried in his books or scribbling down hastily in the book we had gotten him for a diary – yes, he was following Aoshi's advice.

He seemed to be even more detached than normal, but at least, he was not taking it out on anyone or himself.

With constant care, his swelling arm became normal again, and less painful. It would be another couple of days though, before he could take off the stitches. I was in no mood to have to go all the way to the hospital, or even visit it again, so I watched his wound like a hawk.

I guess the hospital always brought back bad memories.

My red hair fell in front of my face as I busily scrubbed at the bathroom tub. The soap suds slid between my hands, both of which were gloved. I was about to flick it away, when Kenji poked his head in.

"I'm going out!" he called.

I grunted my response, as my hand decided to slip out from under me, causing me to nearly lose my balance. I glanced up. "Where to?" I asked, trying to save face.

"To Yahiko's." Was the answer.

I found myself nodding, and then stopped myself short. I was remembering what Kaoru had told me a couple of days back. Standing, I rinsed the gloves, and hung them over the sink to dry. I didn't need them dripping all over the newly mopped floor. As I retied my hair, I asked, "I've never met this Yahiko….."

Kenji's face paled considerably, and it was just the sign I was looking for. If this Yahiko kid was a decent guy, he would have no reason to lie. If he was lying about going somewhere, I would know too. Just because his house arrest was over, it didn't mean that I had forgiven him for that particular night.

"Do I have to introduce you to my friends too?" He demanded, aghast.

I crossed my arms. "Well, it wouldn't hurt to meet this person you are always talking about. How do I know he's respectable enough? What if he does drugs and is trying to influence you?"

His face flushed at the last comment, and his dark blue eyes blazed angrily. "Yahiko does not do drugs!" he cried. "Why do you have to belittle him like that?"

"I didn't say he did." I replied, calmly, raising my hands a little at his out lash. "I am just creating a picture. I merely want to make sure you are safe……"

He turned around, his ponytail whipping as he did so. He let out a breathy laugh. "It's not like you cared about that for the last 15 years. What made it change now?"

It was my turn to flush red. Of course, he always had to bring it up.

"Mom…..you didn't care for her either, did you?"

That made something inside me snap. I felt myself move, and in a moment, I felt a pressure under my arm. I heard a soft smack and gasped. Kenji's eyes were wide and he looked up at me, his face one of disbelief. It took me a moment to register that I had shoved him up against the wall my arm between us, almost like I had made to punch him.

I could feel my blood pulsating, and I could practically hear it in my ears. My voice was cold when I spoke. "Don't you _dare_ say that!" I hissed, dangerously. "Don't you _ever_ say that!"

My hand slapped the wall next to my son's face, hard, causing him to jump. His bottom lip was trembling, and I saw his eyes fill with tears. He looked away, and for a long moment, we stood like that, both trying to gather our bearings.

Finally, I pulled back, letting him get some distance between us.

I could still feel the pressure my arm had created against his stomach, and I suddenly felt sick to mine. To think, I had almost punched him!

Kenji had retreated down the hall, but did not go into his room. Instead, he paused right outside it. "…..if you do care……then why did you take away all her photos?" He asked.

I couldn't help but stare blankly at him. "Photos?"

"I saw the only one you have by the entrance door!" He cried. "And it was smashed into pieces….how could you!"  
My mind flashed back to that picture that Kaoru had knocked over the other day when she had tripped. "I didn't." I heard myself protest. "Kaoru-san did…."

His eyes flashed again at the mention of his teacher. "So it's _Kaoru-san_ now, huh?" He sounded even more bitter. "What is it, your passion to ruin my life?" He opened the door to his room. "Well, congratulations! You've done it!"

With that, he slammed the door to his room closed, and in a few moments, his music was cranked to the highest volume, the neighbors were likely going to complain. It looked like we were back to square one.

It also looked like he was not going to be going to Yahiko's after all. He stayed in his room for the remainder of the evening. I went back to scrubbing the bathtub, wishing Dad hadn't left.

It was later that night that I passed by the broken photo frame my boy had yelled at me about. It had a picture of myself and Yuki, both smiling at the camera. We looked so young. Of course – it was taken right before our wedding.

Maybe such happiness could never be found again…..

_**(0-0-0-0-0)**_

"_What_!" Dad's surprised cry made the windows shudder. The tea he was holding in his hands nearly spilled. He was suddenly ill at ease.

I sat stone still, my hand intertwined with Yuki's. Mom didn't seem very happy either, a small frown adorning her usually happy face. What was with them? I would have thought that they would have been ecstatic.

"Kenshin…….don't you think that you're too young?" She asked, putting her tea down on the table slowly, lest she lose her grip and let the china fall to the floor. She was now trembling, casting my dad worried looks. He was returning them with a vengeance.

Yuki shifted next to me uncomfortably, but I merely gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. She relaxed a little then, and I cleared my voice. "But I love her. Is it so wrong to want to spend the rest of my life with her?"

"You're only 18!" Dad roared. "How can you even think to get married! You're not even done school!"

My mother put a restraining hand on my father's arm. Patiently, she turned to us again. I had known that this lecture was going to come, and I had prepared for it, but at the moment, I was losing the battle rapidly. I couldn't quite remember what I had rehearsed in my head. "Kenshin, dear…..and you too, Tomoe-chan, don't you think you are going through with things a little too early?"  
I let my breath out angrily. "Mom, I'm sure of what I feel! And I know I'm not done with school, but I know I can support her." I could be stubborn when I wanted to be.  
Dad had turned paler than my girlfriend. "That's not the point Kenshin." He was now a bit calmer. My mother's hand still rested on his arm. "The point is, how will you provide for her? How will you provide for your schooling at the same time your wife? Marriage is a life-long commitment……"

"We know." Yuki said quietly. "But somehow, we will."

"I've got whatever I saved up for University in the bank." I told them. "But since I got a scholarship in, I figured to use my savings for my future." I began to spread my plans out for them, reassuring them that I would be able to take care of the two of us. When I graduated from University, I would land a good job….and I could start my own family…….

For the most part, thankfully, dad and mom were silent. I was glad that they hadn't decided to spout off and not listen. In fact, they were both very keen with what I had to say. Yuki included her bits and pieces too, when she thought it was necessary.

Finally, dad addressed her. "Tomoe…….what do your parents say about this?"  
Tomoe pursed her lips together for a moment, before she answered. "My father is skeptical, but he will let me do as I please. It is my brother who is unhappy." She glanced down, as if admiring the table top before she glanced at me.

I smiled, feeling my heart swell happily. Her gaze was enough to make my day. I looked up at my parents again, making sure there was no expression on my face. "We just want your consent – but even if we don't get it, we will still carry through."

Dad sniffed at that, disapprovingly. Mom seemed to fret a bit, before she stood up. "Well, it seems like the two of you are determined to carry through with your plans, and we can't stop you." Her eyes were sparkling with tears. "I just thought……well, I am happy and sad that my only son would be getting married." She smiled a bit, coming around the table to give Tomoe and me hugs. "Congratulations."

My dad congratulated us too, but was not the type to give hugs, so he didn't bother to come around. He merely leaned over and shook hands with us. I could tell he wasn't too pleased with the prospect of me wedding, but in this, he knew it was not his decision.

As my parents went to go talk to each other in the kitchen afterwards, Yuki turned to me. "Ken -"

But my finger was already on her lips, silencing her. "It'll be all right. I promise." Her black eyes were round and wide, but I saw what I was looking for: trust. "I will do anything for you, Yuki. I won't let anything hurt you."

Yes, those were the words I had pledged, both that day, and on our marriage.

But fate seemed to be against me.

It was always against me.

**0-0-0-0-0**

I remember getting married the year right after that, and I had been the happiest person in the world.

Moving away from the picture as if it were a curse, I headed straight for the kitchen. I had made dinner enough for two people, but it seemed like Kenji was not going to be coming out of his room any time soon.

It was times like those that I hated the most. Especially when I was reminded of my wife and was now left in solitude to brood over her loss. I wish I had some sort of company to take my mind off her.

I had put away all the photos I could find of Yuki, not wanting to remember, wanting to move on, but it seemed that I was constantly being reminded.

Sitting down to dinner by myself, I tried to think of something else, but all I could do was think about what Kenji had so angrily told me. Those words cut a wound deeper than he could have ever known.

A sound at the entrance to the kitchen made me look up. There stood Kenji, his face looking haggard and sunken, almost as if he hadn't had a good night's rest for a week. He was dressed all in black again, a chain attached to his jeans, and it clinked as he moved forward.

"Kenji?"

He looked away, and shifted for a moment. "Um…….." He seemed so shy all of a sudden. I wondered what had happened. I began to get a churning feeling in my stomach and I couldn't help but dread what he was going to say next.

"About what happened earlier….." he was mumbling now. "…I'm sorry."

Eyes widening, I could hardly believe my ears. He was apologizing? In shock, I could find nothing to say. Now the pit of my stomach felt empty, and I was suddenly feeling very vulnerable.

"I was angry." He continued. "I didn't mean it……..mom……she used to talk about you a lot…." He trailed off, going silent after that, finally meeting my gaze with big reproachful eyes.

I finally found my voice, my jaw working finally. "Don't worry…..just, don't ever say that again." How lame. But my mind refused to come up with something better than that.

Kenji nodded once, and I beckoned him to join me. Even his company would be enough, and I felt a whole lot better after his apology. As he slid into the seat across from me after I had dished him up some dinner, he asked, "Dad……are you really going out with Kamiya-sensei?"  
My chopsticks clattered onto the floor as my hand let go in my surprise. I ducked under the table to retrieve them, all the while trying to repress my blush as I did so. That girl managed to make me embarrassed even when she was out of my presence.

Finally, when I was certain that my blush wasn't that bad, I moved back up, and answered coolly, "No. We are just friends. Now, eat up. I don't want dad saying that I don't feed you."

He didn't make any outward complaint, and picked up his chopsticks. After a while of silence that had settled again, Kenji announced, "Our spring break will be coming soon……could…."

"I want to meet this Yahiko kid before you even ask to stay at his house." I interrupted, picking up my empty plate and bringing it to the sink to be washed.

"That's not what I was going to say." Kenji muttered, getting up to put his dish away too. "I was going to ask if we could go visit Kyoto. I want to see my old friends again…..I can't stand Tokyo…but if not, then….."

I remembered my promise to my father. "We will go." I told him, turning on the water. "It's about time I returned. It's been fifteen years……"

Just the thought made me queasy. There were still so many things that were unresolved – take for example, that letter in the mail.

Oh well, things would sort themselves out in time. Hopefully.

* * *

_First name basis means the relationship has heightened. Remember that –san is used as a polite term to address someone_.

* * *

**To Be Continued……….

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AN: Well, were you guys surprised? Since Ken/Kao have started to use first name aliases, I am hoping I can start to develop their relationships. Next chapter, coming soon! Kaoru asks Kenshin out! Isn't it supposed to be the other way around?

Otanoshimini!

Please click that button!


	13. Life's A Drama

IN THE END  
By: Chiki Yumeshisa

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Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin……all original ideas/characters are mine to claim.

AN: I'm so glad you guys are liking the story! I thought that people would be uninterested. I am very surprised with the patience I'm receiving, not to mention reviews. Please do keep them coming! This chapter goes out to Pandagirl, who pestered me into posting. I really didn't mind it though. Sorry for the late post.

**Warnings: None really. Please enjoy! No flames please onegai!

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**CHAPTER 13**

**- Life's A Drama -**

Chou bustled into the office the next day, his gangly figure making a beeline to my desk. Across from me, Yumi looked up, but then absently bent back to her work over a pair of broken electronic devices. If Chou was here, it meant trouble as usual. I really didn't need it.

I pushed the papers scattered on the surface of my work area into a neat pile, and looked up to greet him. I was not in the best of moods, after a customer had begun to complain that whatever she had ordered had not arrived in time and was threatening to sue our company. What was with people like that anyway?

A huge grin was plastered onto Chou's face, his blond hair was gelled into spikes on top of his head. His lazy eye was closed, and he was looking down at me from his long nose. "Hear you're planning to go to Kyoto, kid!" He sang.

I blinked. Feeling a bit upset at the concept that my matters had somehow leaked out amongst my co-workers, I glared up at him. "So what if I am?" I asked, coolly.

"You're lucky you're still alive and walking!" He said, clapping me on the shoulder with his big hand. "After all, Saitoh-san's been chewing you out so much lately."

That much was true. Saitoh just plain hated me I think. Either that, or he loved to grate on my nerves for pure entertainment, because he seemed to want to make my life at KODA a living hell. It had been very difficult to persuade him to let me go to Kyoto, but he had seemed pensive at the end, and finally told me to _'get my sniveling face out of his room and do what I wanted'. _

"Maybe you'll come to your senses finally." He had sneered.

The guy could rot in hell for all I cared.

Yumi seemed interested at this bit of news. "Really? I wish I could tag along, but Makoto has something he has to do….." I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes. It was just like them to instantly assume that they were being invited along.

Chou slung his arm over my shoulders, giving me a playful nudge. "C'mon man, give your two bits in for me too, would you?"

Facing Saitoh again was not on my list of priorities. I could feel myself grimacing, and Chou laughed. Shrugging his arm away, I cast him a wary glance. "I have some things I have to finish before I can go anywhere." I motioned to the stack of papers on my desk, but Chou was no longer looking at me. He was checking his reflection in the mirror that Yumi kept on the filing cabinet's side. At my words, he merely chuckled.

"You gotta let your girlfriend know in advance, ah?" He joked.

"Girlfriend?" Now Yumi was really interested.

Chou jumped on that opportunity to bait me. "Yeah, a cute one at that. She has long black hair. I saw them the other day walking together."

I almost jumped out of my seat, indignantly. "You did?" My mind had instantly formed Kaoru's image. Why, I had no clue, but I had been careful to make sure that I had not told anyone that I had visited her house……  
He raised his eyebrow at me, his lazy eye opening slightly. "I was just kidding." His smile turned sly. "But since you admitted to something….."  
I returned a death glare, and he put his hands up defensively. "Okay, okay, I saw you walking with some chick the other night – and you left her place pretty late."  
"And what were you doing spying on me?" I growled.

Chou swallowed nervously, and Yumi giggled. It was not often I could unnerve someone like him. "I was waiting for a delivery on the street right across from her building, and it was late in coming." He said defensively. "I saw you, but you didn't see me….."

Well, that much was obvious.

Hastily, I began to flip through the files on my desk. I had work to do, and I did not need these two to be gloating over me. "If you will excuse me, Chou, I do not need Saitoh on my case again, and you should be doing your job." I know I was rather harsh, but even that did not wipe the smirk of Chou's face.

Once he had skipped out of the room, Yumi turned to me. "Kyoto……I thought you said that's one place you don't ever want to return to."

My finger flipped to the file I was looking for. Tsugata Masatomo had said he would be sending in something that day, yet we had not yet received it. Looking up his number, I muttered absently, "Kenji's the one that wants to go back." Picking up the phone I began to dial the number in. After making arrangements with the man on the other line, I began shifting through the papers again.

Yumi had bent over her work again and did not speak of the plans I had made again that morning. Instead, she went on and on about how she was hoping her boyfriend would get it into his head to propose to her already and that she was hopeful to have a kid of her own. I wondered what type of a mother she would become.

Then it hit me that I had no idea what kind of a mother Yuki had been exactly either.

That pretty much dropped my spirits further that day, but me remaining quiet was always a given that nobody questioned me about it.

I was more than glad when the day was done with, a large stack of paperwork still on my desk but I was determined to finish it the next day. If I had to force myself to stop being anxious over the upcoming trip, I would.

The dusk's soft wind was welcoming. It did not hold its usual bite, and held the sweet smell of flowers. I began to head down the street, my bag slung over one shoulder precariously. I needed one nice long walk.

No matter how hard I tried not to think about going back, I found myself dreading it more and more. For certain sure questions would be raised……and personal stuff pried into. My broodings were cut short by the blast of a car's horn.

I jumped, thinking that I had accidentally crossed the street when it was not yet my turn, and my head swiveled for the source of the sound. To my surprise, a familiar blue Toyota Rav 4 had pulled up beside me.

"Hi Kenshin!" The driver called out gaily from the open window.

I could only blink in surprise. Kaoru was buckled behind the steering wheel, her face aglow. "Kaoru-san?"

She beamed, pulling open the passenger side and gesturing to the seat. "Want a lift? I am surprised you didn't recognize me."

"I was……preoccupied," I said, rather flatly, reluctantly getting into the seat next to her.

She began driving again. "What are you doing walking up this way for? Is it a shortcut to your house?" She asked.

I shook my head, watching as the car in front swerved dangerously into the next lane. I heard Kaoru mutter something under her breath about crazy drivers. "I was on my way to Sano's…"

"Who's that?" She asked, slowing down as traffic began to congest.

"My friend." I allowed. "I have something to tell him."

Kaoru nodded, and began to curse traffic. I wondered whether or not she had heard me, but I guess it was irrelevant. I just didn't want her to get so riled up we'd have an accident. I found myself clutching my bag tighter.

When traffic began to move again, she asked for the directions to Sano's apartment. We reached the side of a four story building, which looked so plain and ugly, I could only wonder what Sano was thinking renting a place in a dumpster like that. I had offered him to use the spare bedroom in my house, but he had flatly refused, saying that I needed time alone with my son.

I got out of the car, and Kaoru announced that she'd wait downstairs for me to give me a lift home. I appreciated the thought, but I was eyeing a few members of a gang that were hanging around the dumpster nearby. I could tell they were up to no good, and I did not feel right leaving Kaoru down there with the likes of them. When I tried to urge her to go home, she refused, insisting that she would be fine.

That's how I ended up dragging her to the fourth floor with me. When Sano opened his door, he was in the middle of yawning. He cut himself off short when he saw it was me. His eyes grew wide when he saw Kaoru.

"Oi, Kenshin! What's up?" He asked, sweeping to the side, to let me enter. Kaoru hesitated, but I urged her ahead, so she obediently ducked in, giving Sano an apologetic smile.

"Who's the chick?" He asked. Trust Sano to be uncouth.

Kaoru's face reddened slightly, and I scowled. "Sano, this is my friend, Kamiya Kaoru. Kaoru-san, this is my buddy, Sagara Sanosuke."

She bowed at her introduction, and Sanosuke merely scratched his head. "What's Jou-chan doing with you?" He wondered aloud. I could see a twinkle of mischief in his eye, no doubt teasing me for the level of intimacy I had achieved with her.

I saw her face redden some more at his endearment. It was a miracle she didn't just fly right at him and sock him out. Kaoru seemed a good sport because she smiled at him, passing his remark off quite well.

Sano was wearing a pair of baggy pants that were a faded gray. He had a stubble of a beard growing, his brown hair was unruly as always. I was just glad that he had not decided to walk around his house in boxers, further embarrassing Kaoru more.

Compared to her house, his house was just as bad. A bad smell was in the air, like he had forgotten to take out his garbage – despite the fact that the dumpster was just downstairs. I was tired of trying to straighten Sano out though….I had been trying ever since we had been kids, but it hadn't seemed to work.

Seeing my expression, he gave me a lopsided grin. "So little man, are you going to fill me in on your visit or are we going to stare at each other all day?"

I cast him a look, but didn't bother to be ruffled: I was used to his pokes and prods on the issue of my height. "Actually, I wanted to let you know that I'm going to be off to Kyoto…." My sentence got the expected reaction. His eyes seemed to grow big and he was instantly worried.

"What? Even when…..?"  
I nodded.

Sano glanced at Kaoru briefly before saying, "I don't think that's wise, Ken…."

"It's about time I did anyway." I said slowly, even though I was hard pressed not to go back ever. "And Kenji wanted to go. Since I promised my father I would visit, we're going to go on Kenji's break."

Still ill at ease, Sano's eyes flicked to Kaoru once more, before returning to mine. I knew I was in for another lecture about safety precautions and warnings, but I never gave him the chance. "Look, I'll be fine. I promise I will avoid……" this time, it was my turn to glance warily at Kaoru, "….avoid people." I finished lamely.

Huffing, Kaoru turned her back on us. "Oh, if you guys wanted some privacy, you could have _said_ so!"

I sighed, watching as she stormed out of the house, her back stiff. "I'll talk with you about this later." I muttered, dashing off after her. I could hear Sano swearing a blue streak behind me as I ran to catch up.

"Kaoru-san! Please wait!" I nearly stumbled over a cat that had decided to take its afternoon nap right in the middle of the hallway. It hissed up at me, and I had to stop myself from kicking it out of the way in my flustered state.

She turned around, her blue eyes cutting into me. What had I done to get myself into trouble this time? "What?"

"Please don't be upset." I told her. A couple of days ago, I would not have cared if she decided to walk out on me and never talk to me again, but I felt terrible knowing that I had somehow hurt her. "It was rude of me, I know," I began, "I didn't mean to act as if you were prying or anything, but it would not have made a difference if I had used names. After all, you would not know the people I speak of."

She sniffed, but the hard look in her eyes softened.

"I'm really sorry." I told her, sincerely. As usual, it ended up being me apologizing.

Finally, she nodded. "It's okay." She told me. "Though I kind of wish you could trust me."

I said nothing to that, following her down the stairs again. Our visit had been brief and had ended in a misunderstanding. Despite the fact that I was worried and anxious wanting to talk with Sano about the trip I was going to take, it looked like it would have to wait. At the moment, it would not have been wise to let Kaoru in on the conversation. I did not need questions raised.

We made our way back to the car, and just as I had predicted, the gang had taken an interest in it, as they were crowded around it. Kaoru stiffened at the sight of them around her vehicle. I was about to caution her, but she went ahead and cleared her voice loudly and forcefully. The boys looked up, and I felt like melting into the ground.

Now, I would have to take six guys on just to protect the girl. I liked things to be as peaceful as possible, as I was not much of a fighter, but when I had to, I would get defensive. I could feel myself getting tense.

Grins adorned their faces, and they turned their attention to us. Kaoru's voice did not tremble as she said, "Excuse me boys, but I need to get to my car."

"This is your car?" One of them sneered.

"Of course it is; I just told you so." Kaoru said, a bit irritated; her tone one that suggested that this boy was an idiot for even asking that question. "Now, if you will kindly step aside……"

Without hesitating, she began to march forward. The boys looked at each other for a moment before one of them decided to try and provoke her further. "What if we didn't want to move?"

Smiling sweetly, Kaoru flipped her hair behind her shoulder. I wondered if she would rise to the bait. "Oh that would be a very bad thing." She didn't specify if it would be bad for them or for her of course. Then she jerked her thumb at me. "If you boys were smart, you would."

All eyes turned to me, wonderingly, and Kaoru didn't bother to lose step. In fact, they were perplexed, falling back as she neared them. I couldn't believe my ears! What a great thing to do, using me as a shield!

"Who's he?" A guy who was missing a front tooth demanded. "Why do we have to be afraid of someone like him?"

She never stopped to even think of the answer. "Oh, I would be if I were you. Be careful please boys," she announced, as she stepped between them. They parted for her, letting her weave her way to her car. Their eyes were one me, and they were even more confused as she opened her door and slid into the seat. I slipped into the car next to her, feeling very confused myself.

Rolling down her window, she smiled at them all. "Thank you very much!" And with that, she began to back out of the driveway, leaving them all huddled together, staring after her.

With wide eyes, I turned to look at her. "What just happened back there?" I wondered aloud.

She laughed, pulling into traffic again. It looked like it hadn't gotten any better since we had left it earlier. "It's simple Kenshin – I just gave their brains too much to think about without really knowing what exactly it was they were supposed to think. And when they were busy trying to figure out what I meant, I used my authority to get past them. If you let them know you are afraid they will instantly be ready to fight."

Dumbfounded, I couldn't help but admire how she had gotten us safely from that predicament without a scratch. I had honestly thought we were going to be outnumbered.

I settled back into my seat, she had a lot of cards to play it seemed, and I was constantly being surprised at what she could do. With admiration again, I found myself staring at her. Wherever did she obtain such a strong spirit?

She caught my eye as she pulled up for a stop light. "Kenshin….." It took me a while to remember that she had moved the terms to something more familiar, because I fought back my look of indignation. Instead, I raised an eyebrow in question. "Well……I wanted to know if you could…..well……"

"What is it Kaoru-san?" I asked, not used to her stumbling over her words.

Taking a deep breath, she pushed the gas pedal as the signal flashed 'go', letting her know it was safe to do so. "Well, we have a sort of outing for teachers at the school; a way of saying thank you, I guess." She let out a little groan as she came upon yet another stop light. "I was wondering if you'd accompany me." She finished, shyly, peering at me. "That is, of course, if you're not busy and if you won't mind."

Dumbstruck again, I blinked. Was she asking _me_? The antisocial jerk that was bad company? Why on earth would she go out of her way to invite me? "Isn't the outing for teachers only?" I wondered.

"We're allowed to bring an escort. It's going to be held at a reception hall in a hotel, so it's formal. We don't have to bring an escort, but I would feel so out of place…….so……I thought I could ask you." She said. All of a sudden, she sounded like she thought she had made a mistake in asking me to go.

What was I supposed to do? Turn her down? That would be really rude of me, and I didn't want to hurt her feelings. "I-I guess it would be okay." I said.

She turned to look at me, incredulously. "Really! I mean, you don't mind?"

"When is it?"

"It's the last Friday right before the spring break." She told me eagerly. "If you're not busy..."

My mind was on the Kyoto trip again. I figured I might as well do something enjoyable before going to my nightmare vacation, so I quickly answered, "No, it's okay. I'm free." Even if I wasn't free, I would make the time.

Grinning happily, she would have thrown her arms around my neck with her gushes of thanks, but I had to gently remind her that she was driving, and that the light had turned green.

I gasped as she gunned the pedal in her excitement, flinging me back into my seat.

**0-0-0-0-0**

Kenji was in the kitchen, munching on chocolate chip cookies when I arrived at the door. He didn't bother to look up as I entered, Kaoru right behind me. Boy was he surprised seeing her there!

"Sensei!" He cried, jumping to his feet. He was wearing a yukata that hung open carelessly, and a really old pair of hakama. Kaoru seemed surprised too: this had to be the first time she had seen him dressed as he was, without the trace of his usual darkness. Excuse the pun.

Embarrassed, he flung the yukata closed, and shot me a death glare. Before he could retreat to his room, I motioned for him to step forward. "Kenji-kun, would you please show Kaoru-san where our washroom is?" Having dropped me off at home safely, she had asked if it was okay to use it.

That earned me another death glare, but without a word, Kenji marched off to do as I asked, Kaoru in tow. I could hear her speaking with him in soft tones.

Finally, he came back, angrily sitting back down. "I'm forever doomed to embarrassment." He complained, dunking his cookie into his glass of milk vigorously. I smiled a bit, and went to go put my bag down in its usual place.

When Kaoru returned, she surveyed the scene before her, Kenji's stony silence and my resignation as I had begun to wash the dishes in the sink. It was almost like a routine for us. I glanced up as she crossed the kitchen, and she gave me a big smile. I found myself getting worried – what had that been for?

She announced that she was going to leave, and thanked me. "Don't forget – it's formal." She warned, as I rinsed my hands off from the soap suds and escorted her to the door.

I nodded. "I won't."

She gave me another big smile, and bounced off down my front steps and into her car.

From behind me, I could hear Kenji asking, "Don't forget _what's_ formal?" I groaned inwardly. Evidently, spending that much time with my father had caused him to be a snoop in private personal affairs too.

Knowing that I would have to eventually tell him anyway, I went back to washing dishes, saying, "Oh, she just asked me to be her escort at some evening outing," casually. When he didn't say anything for a moment, I wondered if he had heard me correctly.

Finally, I heard him grunt and mutter something under his breath, before leaving the table, his empty plate and cup still sitting on it.

I had half the mind to start lecturing him again on cleanliness, but at the moment, I figured it would not be safe to do so. Instead, I finished the dishes quickly and made my way to his bedroom. To my surprise, he was not there. The sudden blare of music from the basement told me exactly where he was.

He was sprawled in front of the television again, an episode of Ai Tokidoki Uso was playing. I don't think he was really paying attention though, because his eyes were glazed over, and besides, it's not like he could hear anything with the music on so loud. It was Blink 182 with their song "Feeling This". A bit annoyed, I reached over and turned it off.

His sulky attitude was really starting to get to me. His eyes snapped up when his music came to an abrupt end.

"Look, Kenji, if you don't want me going with her, just tell me." I said.

He sat up. For a long moment, he stared at me. "Do whatever you want." He said. He was about to get up and run away again, but I stepped in front of him. He stuck out his chin stubbornly.

"Stop acting like a baby." I scolded.

He looked stricken, and he took a step back. "It's not like anything I tell you will matter anyway!" he clenched his fists. "You never listen."

"And you do?" I shot back. He looked away, not answering. Then, impatiently, he shook his bangs out of his eyes and snapped,

"Fine, so I'm upset that you like my teacher! But what kid wouldn't be humiliated if it happened to them?"

So he had a point. But so did I. "I don't like her, and I'm not dating her!"

"Yeah right," Scoffed Kenji. He was smirking, taunting me. Of course, being an idiot, I rose to the bait.

"I was just returning the favor, and I didn't want to hurt her feelings. Besides, I wasn't the one who asked, she asked me!"

"And you said yes." Kenji finished. His smile dropped though, at the realization of what that meant. "Well, I hope you have fun." He marched past me, and began to make his way up the stairs, the television set still on. A man in green robes was running after a girl who had just gotten on a bus and wasn't paying any attention to him whatsoever.

I didn't bother to stop him this time, because there was nothing else to say. Wearily, I sat down at the small table and began to start my filing, knowing that after my trip from Kyoto, I would have a whole bunch waiting for me, and I didn't need it to pile up any higher than it had already gone.

Now the girl on the television set finally noticed the man in green robes and was trying to get off the bus to go see him. Classic romance. Stupid show. I switched the television off.

A colorful letter that had been placed in my mailbox stared up at me. On the blue-white page, the words, _To My Dearest_ in block letters were written. For a moment, I felt like I had been doused in ice cold water. My hands shook.

The stationary held a teddy bear holding a heart up. No doubt a girl's letter to her boyfriend or crush. When I looked closer, it was addressed to HIMURA KENJI in neat writing.

Greatly surprised, I got up, the letter in my hands. I was half tempted to open it, but then I wouldn't do that. It was something my father would have loved to do and would not have hesitated, but again, I was not like him.

I expected rock music to be greeting me again, but it was off, and I knocked on the door leading to Kenji's room. No answer. I knocked again, but like the first time, there was no answer. Now panicking, I called out Kenji's name. What if he…..?

"Come in!" He called, clearly irritated.

On his lap, he had his biology textbook open. His room was spic and span, not an article of clothing on the floor, and his school books piled neatly on his desk. I couldn't help but gawk. What was going on?

"What?" He asked. My shock at his uncluttered room and my relief that he was okay almost made me forget why I was there to begin with.  
Shifting uncomfortably, I held out the letter. "This…..for you……."

Curiously, he peered at the stationary, before blushing a bright red. It looked like he too, could be embarrassed easily. Snatching it out of my hand, he hastily hid it under his pillow. "Uh……thanks….."

Curiously, I decided to bait him this time. "From your girlfriend?"

When he sputtered his protests, I smirked and repeated the same words he had used on me. "Yeah, right."

He began to sputter more protests, but I cut him off in between. "I managed to get off work to go to Kyoto."

Swallowing, he nodded. After taking a meaningful glance at his pillow, I turned and left the room.

_To my dearest………._those were the same words from so long ago. Like a burned image, they came back to haunt me.

_**(0-0-0-0-0)**_

_To my dearest,_

_It's been more than five years! How I wish you were here. I hope you are well and that you're studying hard. You should see Kenji, he's grown so much. He is looking more and more like you day by day. Every time I look at him, I see you and I wish I could be by your side again, but like I said before, I'll wait._

_I just want you to graduate already and come back. I know, it's selfish of me, but I feel so lonely here in Kyoto – do you suppose we could come live with you there? _

_Kenji is eager for you to come home too. He says he wants a spider man toy for his birthday. He says he thinks he is Batman, and he says you can be Superman. He says to hurry and save the world so you can come home and play._

_This letter is short, because I want to attach photos of us. Don't forget to give me a call and don't forget to write me back. _

_Hugs and kisses,_

_Yuki_

**0-0-0-0-0**

_Save the world……._

I could not even save her.

In the photo was a picture of her and Kenji, smiling happily at the camera. The same one that was standing on Kenji's dresser drawer amidst the other pictures he had of her.

I would have given anything to have another one of her hugs or kisses right then and there. Unfortunately, no matter how hard I wished for it to be so, it would never happen.

The trick was to keep walking, like Kamatari had told me.

That night, I dreamed that I was doing just that, walking down an endless path that was dark and winding. It was a nightmare, as I ran and ran but could not find my way around. A painful tearing feeling came from inside, and I had to suck in deep breaths to calm down.

When I was about to give up, there was a light ahead. At first, I was unsure whether I should take it or not, but deciding that it wouldn't hurt to try, I got to my feet, following the brightness, not wanting to take my eyes off it, for fear of walking alone in the darkness again.

For some strange reason, I wasn't surprised when I saw Kaoru's figure standing right by the light, her smile ever ready, her blue eyes shining. With one hand, she reached out to touch me. To guide me.

And then I was walking again, following her.

Forward.

**To Be Continued……..

* * *

**

_Ai Tokidoki Uso _is a Japanese drama. It means "Sometimes love is a lie."

_Otanoshimini_ means 'please look forward to it' _Yuki_ means 'snow'.

* * *

AN: Next chapter – who's up for some K/K interaction? More lightheartedness ahead – and look out! _Kamatari spotting_! See you all next update!

Please tell me what you think: click that button!


	14. Save The Last Dance

IN THE END  
By: Chiki Yumeshisa

_Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin…..all original characters/ideas are mine to claim._

AN: Wow, I'm already at chapter 14. I honestly don't know how long this will be, but if any of you are already fed up with me, feel free to let me know! Just a quick note: relationships are not fast or easy-coming, especially for someone who has lost a significant other.

With that note, omatase! (thanks for wating)

**_Warnings: None._**

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**CHAPTER 14**

**- Save The Last Dance -**

I've realized that the more one wants time to pass quickly, it seems to take its sweet time. And vice versa. The planned trip to go to Kyoto had me anxious and if I could have slowed time down, I would have. Unfortunately for me, three weeks passed quickly, and I was on the verge of changing my mind.

It would be next week……

I almost forgot about the outing with Kaoru, and had she not reminded me about it, I probably would have made a fool out of myself. It was coming up on Friday and we went out together, to buy clothes, Kaoru insisting that she needed something new and that it would be 'sweet' if we came dressed in the same colors.

That was not my impression. I thought it was absolutely ridiculous, but I had learned that if the women wanted something done, it was better not to argue. Knowing full well that I would not be able to change her mind anyway, I decided to float with the hours of shopping. In all honesty, how long does it take to pick out one shirt and a pair of pants?

I was getting a bit annoyed after three hours of shopping and yet, Kaoru had not been able to choose anything.

She glanced at me as I let out an irritated sigh. "Do you want to stop?" She asked, worriedly.

Scratching the back of my head, I gave her a small smile. "Ah…..well…..shopping isn't quite my favorite hobby."

She smiled at that. "Okay, fine, one last store, please?"

I was too much of a softy.

THRIFTS was where she brought me next. Well, more like 'dragged' me. The moment I saw the pricey clothing, I wanted out. Somehow, she convinced me to stay. I felt like some dog that would be given a biscuit any second. If I was lucky, I would. She held up shirt after shirt to me.

If I had had my choice, I would have settled for the first white polo shirt I could find. Apparently, Kaoru had in mind a nice blue dress, so she was looking around for a blue shirt for me. I was totally mortified when she came out with a light blue shirt, her face shining: she had finally found what she was looking for.

"This will be perfect!"

"Kaoru-san, you never told me that your dress would be a light blue." I accused, eyeing the shirt disdainfully. It was a pale blue, almost white, but there was no mistaking the way it would clash with my hair. The next thing I knew, she'd be making me wear those fuzzy headbands to go along with it.

Kaoru glanced at the shirt and smiled. "Oh, come on, Kenshin! This looks fine. And besides, it's not that pricey either. At least I'm not asking you to wear a bright yellow." And with that, she shoved me into the fitting room.

When I came out, feeling absolutely foolish, she gushed. "Wow, it looks really good. You look so handsome!"

I could feel my cheeks heating again. Kaoru saying those words made me feel both proud and embarrassed. Every head was turned to us, and I quickly slipped back into the change room. Without a word, I purchased the item and got us out of that store as quickly as possible.

When we went to pick out the dress Kaoru had her eye on, I could see why we were going to be matching. Her dress was made of a silver-blue material. Depending on the light and the way it hit the fabric, it would be a pale blue or silver. Not to mention the fact that Kaoru looked absolutely stunning when she went to try it on. Granted, she didn't quite fill it out in certain places, but she carried it confidently nevertheless.

She twirled in front of the mirror, glancing at her exposed back with scrutiny. "Well? What do you think?"

And she was asking me of _my_ opinion?  
"Uh….."

She glared at me. "I know, I'm fat….." She sounded so mournful.

It was my turn to glare. "I did not say that; you're not. It looks fine, really. But you'll have to get it altered."  
At those words, she brightened. Funny how a simple sentence could make her so happy. When she finally bought it, she began rambling about how she knew someone who could make the adjustments for her.

I was just glad that we could head back to the car. I didn't want to stay in the mall any longer. Kaoru seemed to get the hint because she began to lead the way.

"I know you're anxious about next week's trip." She told me, quietly. "I wanted to do something to help you relax a little. It looks like I didn't help did I?"

"You did actually." I told her, smiling. "I find I am starting to get worried about Friday's outing. I almost forgot about next week."

She pat my arm reassuringly. "Don't worry, you'll be fine. I wanted to thank you again for accompanying me."

Those words made me feel good too. Like a cooling balm over my fears……

I offered again, for the umpteenth time, to carry some of her bags. Like all girls, she had ended up buying more than she needed.

As we stepped off the escalator, I almost collided with someone at the bottom. Trying to balance oneself with an armful of packages and bags was not easy. Kaoru reached out to steady me, shooting the person a dirty look.

"Look where you're going!" I heard her say, sharply.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Another female voice replied. But it held no remorse or regret – it held a sarcastic and superior tone. And a tone that I knew very well. At the sound of her voice, I looked up. Kaoru and her were having a staring contest that was so heated it probably could have melted the North Pole.

Scrambling to get out of the way of other customers, I asked, "Yumi?" My day could not get worse!

There was no mistaking my office worker. She was wearing a dark purple shirt, low cut, and black slacks. Her hair was pulled away from her face, her lipstick so dark, it made me wonder if it was black. The beauty mark right by her chin was very visible.

"Kenshin!" She cooed, upon seeing me. "Was it you? I'm really sorry." Her tone of voice had changed, and I could see Kaoru scowling out of the corner of my eye. She turned to get a glimpse of Kaoru again, before turning back to me. "Is _this_ the _girl _Chou was talking about the other day? _This_ is your girlfriend?" She sounded so disappointed and she cast Kaoru another withering look. "I don't see what's so hot about her. Her breasts aren't half as big as mine."

Kaoru was bright red, her blue eyes flashing indignantly. "Well, excuse me for having small……small……!" She didn't finish, as most of the people who were surrounding us were staring. Knowing that it was getting too far, I held up my hands.

"Ah…..Yumi – she isn't my girlfriend….this is….Kamiya Kaoru, a good friend. Kaoru-san, this is Komagata Yumi, my office mate."

"Delighted." Yumi muttered, without a glance at Kaoru. She glimpsed someone from afar and waved at them. No doubt her boyfriend. "Anyway, Kenny dear, I've got to run. Have fun on your vacation next week." With that, she haughtily turned away and went toward a figure standing by the ice cream shop.

Kaoru was growling under her breath. "Why…..that……" I put my hand on her arm, steering her away from the interested crowd and away from where Yumi was. She was fuming all the way to the car. "How dare she say that!" She threw her bags into the back of her car angrily, and I was a bit intimidated at the thought that she would be behind that wheel.

Closing the door after me, I cursed my luck. I had no doubt that Yumi would spread the news throughout KODAs offices. I could practically see Saitoh smirking at me and hear his deep voice mock. I had no time to brood though, as Kaoru got into the car after me, slamming the door rather harshly. The small figurine of Hello Kitty that was posted on the dashboard jumped.

She was ever the spirited one.

"Small breasts……." She growled. "What do you think Kenshin!"

Oro…..there she went again, asking for my opinion. And what a question at that! I almost choked, absolutely embarrassed. My face must have turned redder than my hair and I quickly averted my gaze. "Uh…..well, I wouldn't know…." I stuttered, staring hard at the overhead compartment of the passenger side.

Kaoru huffed, turning the keys in the ignition. "Mou! You're no help: you're probably on her side."

Feeling really uncomfortable, I tried to soothe her wounded ego. It was even bigger than mine it seemed, and not very used to abuse. "Kaoru-san, Yumi says that to every girl she sees. Don't listen to her – I never do."

Heck, I remember when I had first taken up the job with my co-worker, Yumi had been outright jealous of me because she claimed that I had longer and more beautiful hair than her. Put bluntly, she thought that I was a girl. How very unsurprising.

Luckily, those words seemed to help, because Kaoru calmed down a little. Instead, she began to talk about the upcoming party and what was going to be happening. I was going to have to be on my best behavior because most of the people that would be there would be much older. That just made the butterflies in my stomach dance even more.

When we arrived at my house, she cheerfully told me she'd be there to pick me up at 6pm sharp on Friday and to be ready and dressed.

I scowled at her when she ruefully added, "It's funny……it's supposed to be the other way around – the guys are supposed to pick the girls up."

"I'm sorry I don't have a car." I said. "If you want, I could walk to your place and meet with you."

She smiled sweetly up at me. "Don't worry, I was just kidding – if you walk to my place, then you'll ruin your clothes we bought you today."

Pulling away from her car, I gave her a half-hearted wave. "Well, if you insist……." She gave me a nod and then began to back out of the driveway, calling out yet another reminder, before speeding down the street.

Worn out and weary, I trudged back into my house. It seemed as if the weight of the world was on my shoulders. Not only did the trip to Kyoto make me want to turn and run, but this upcoming Friday's event had me dancing on the balls of my feet. I was never good at parties since I was always the type to be alone.

Feeling absolutely drained, I managed to make my way to my bedroom and drop the package that held my new found shirt on my dresser. A nice long shower and a hot cup of coffee would hit the spot.

Pulling off my sweatshirt and folding it neatly, I caught sight of my son passing by my bedroom, dragging with him a suitcase. Quirking an eyebrow, I went to see what he was up to.

He looked up as I called out to him. "I'm all packed." He told me seriously. "I hope you are – we leave on Sunday you know." Well, at least one of us was excited. I had not yet started to pack even though I knew I should have. I had picked up the bad habit of doing things at the last minute over the years. I was not all that eager to leave Tokyo any time soon, and I had been occupied with other things on my mind.

"Did you say goodbye to your girlfriend?" I teased, feeling a smile tug on my lips.

Kenji scowled. "Did you say goodbye to yours?" He shot back.

I was taken aback by his comment. I hadn't expected him to say that at all. A distant part of my mind told me that he hadn't quite protested that he didn't have a girlfriend. "I don't have one." I told him, good-naturedly.

Smirking, he tugged the strap on his suitcase tighter. "Yes, well, you'll be seeing her this Friday won't you?" He suddenly stopped smiling and faced me. "Just try not to let any of my friends see you with her, okay?" He sounded anxious.

I rolled my eyes. "Kenji, I don't even know who your friends are."

_He doesn't have any friends…._

Kaoru's words suddenly rang loud and clear in my head, the day she had come over to bring Kenji his homework. I decided not to ask though, as my son merely nodded and wandered toward the stairs leading to the basement, leaving his baggage standing in the middle of the living room.

I had no time to worry about packing: Friday was coming and I had to deal with that first.

**0-0-0-0-0**

And it came by so quickly, I felt totally unprepared. I had not taken the day off work, as I had asked for a leave of absence for the two weeks coming up, so I ended up running all the way to my house right afterwards. This left me in a bedraggled mess.

I had tried to call Sano and ask him to pick me up but I couldn't get a hold of him. Of all the times he had to be asleep! Work had been overtime as we had gotten a lot of orders in, and so my plan to relax before going to that outing with Kaoru was scratched.  
My intention had been to go home, shower and dress taking my time. Now, however, I was like a bullet hurtling through my house. I showered as quickly as possible, had a battle with my hairdryer, and struggled with my clothing.

My heart seemed to drop into my stomach when I heard Kenji call, "Dad, Kamiya-sensei is here for you!"

I shrugged on the neatly pressed light-blue shirt that we had bought the other day, and quickly did up the buttons. Seeing I had done them up unevenly, I groaned, redoing my handiwork all the while kicking myself mentally. Why couldn't I have gotten a shirt that could be done up with a zipper?

I could practically hear Kaoru complaining about how tacky that would look.

Kenji called again, and I hollered back, "I'm coming!"

Running the brush through my hair again, and quickly tying it up, I splashed a few drops of cologne on before dashing out the door.

There stood Kaoru, in my living room. Her dress now altered looked very different on her than it had when she had first tried it on.

Now it clung to her perfectly, almost like a second skin. This just went to show how much her insisted diet-requirement was false. Her long black tresses had been curled and fell about her face in neat little waves, held into place by various butterflies. Her curves were now very visible, especially the way the front of the dress fell. Of course, not too much so that her dignity would be ruined, but enough so that one's imagination would be tickled.

Like mine was being tickled at that moment……

My cheeks flushed, and I could only stare at her with wide eyes.

She was staring aback at me with a similar expression. Then, it was her turn to blush.

"W-well?"

Blinking, I glanced to the side. There stood Kenji, that small smile on his face. Not wanting him to get to me, I forced myself to look at her again. Oh goodness, I was acting like a kid – I would be with Kaoru for the whole night! I had to gather my wits.

"You look……great, Kaoru-san." I murmured. Great. _Great! _So, I was lousy with words. I could have said something more complimenting. Stunning. Beautiful. Astonishing. But I had to choose 'great'.

That was enough for her though, because she beamed at me. One would have thought I had laid out a red carpet for her to walk on and gotten on my knee. "You look great too!" She came forward then, and clucked her tongue disdainfully. She began to fix up my collar, and straighten my tie.

I was reminded of how Yuki used to do the same thing for me. I felt like shying away from her fingers, but I forced myself to stay in my spot and grow up.

I felt proud of myself.

When Kaoru finished, she quickly turned from me and picked up her purse. As she did so, I smelled the scent of Jasmine. "Well, we should get going," She announced, "I hope we won't be late."

I could only cringe inwardly at that statement, but I plastered a smile onto my face, nodding. I ran through a quick list of rules for Kenji – who, by the way, was still smirking at me – before grabbing my coat, and leaving the house.

As much as possible, I did not want to leave Kenji home alone…..for a variety of reasons. He was certainly old enough to look out for himself, but knowing his bad habits, I had learned to play it safe. When that was done, Kaoru and I loaded ourselves in her car and pulled out of my driveway.

The trip in the car was tense. I couldn't help but feel very awkward, not to mention the fact that I was nervous! Kaoru seemed to notice because she laughed. "Calm down, Kenshin! It's just a party, that's all. It's not like it's a job interview."

That was the problem: parties and I did not go well with each other. I always managed to stand out somehow. Not only that, but the word 'party' meant something else for me: social gathering. That was a danger zone for me.

Unclenching my fists in my lap, I turned to look out the window. Night had fallen, even though it was not quite dark yet. Added to that, a small drizzle had started to fall as well. How wonderful. That alone made my mood darken.

Assuring me once more that it wasn't big, Kaoru pulled up a hotel. Wasn't that big my foot! The hotel itself had to be a four-star one at least. I couldn't help but feel a bit intimidated. Once the car was parked, Kaoru leaned over and put her hand on my arm. My eyes flew up in question at the contact. "Relax." She said gently, before getting out of the car.

I found that very hard to do, especially when she twined her arm in mine. I almost forgot to breathe and I wanted to pull away.

"I know you are uncomfortable," Kaoru whispered as we entered an elevator full of people, "but you _are_ the escort."

Yes…. How could I possibly forget? I would have given my right leg to go back home as we stepped out onto the penthouse floor and into a ballroom setting. It was beautiful.

Chandeliers hung from the ceiling and big bay windows adorned with rich red curtains lined the walls. The ball room floor was polished and was occupied with a number of people standing around and chatting. A DJ and a few speakers were set up close to one corner, and at the very front, a stage with a microphone.

Sure enough, every lady in the room had an escort with her, each dressed smartly in a suit. Now I felt even more stupid in my shirt. They were all older than Kaoru too, as she had told me. I felt Kaoru's arm tighten around mine as eyes looked our way.

A man standing by the cocktail table waved at us and came to greet us. "Oh, welcome, Kamiya-san! Welcome! I thought you weren't going to make it."

Kaoru smiled a bit, bowing slightly. "I seem to have arrived just in time."

The man heartily bowed back and then cast his attention to me. He was balding and had gray-blue eyes. "And who's this?"

"This is Himura Kenshin, a friend of mine. Himura-san, this is Tatewaki-sama, our principal of the school."

She had switched back to formalities it seemed, saving me a bit of dignity. Feeling absolutely stupid, I bowed back and murmured a greeting.

"Quiet man, isn't he!" Tatewaki announced. "I hope you enjoy the party!"

With that, he ambled back toward the cocktail table, greeting others happily in his loud voice.

As for us, we made our way to a table close to the front. As much as I wanted to sit down at the back close to the exit, I forced myself to calm down and sit where Kaoru wanted me to. Across from me, a woman whose hair was graying and face was wrinkling smiled at me. Trying to ignore her, I turned to pay attention to a lady who had stepped up to the microphone.

"Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen!" She announced. "I would like to welcome you all to this year's Staff Celebration." There was polite applause as a response, and a small scrambling to find seats for those who had not yet seated themselves.

She smiled widely. "I would like to thank you for joining us today, as we will be discussing a few terms and issues that are of concern to us."

Kaoru rolled her eyes. "They talk and talk but nothing ever gets resolved anyway." She whispered. Hmm…..sounded a lot like Saitoh's company. I grinned at that, and she stuck out her tongue, before tuning in again on what the girl was saying.

I did not tune in again, as I had no idea what was going on anyway. Instead, I found myself nervously tearing bits off a tissue in front of me, as my mind returned to the trip that was coming up.

Kain's letter had been bugging me all week and no matter how much I tried to put it off, I could not forget about it. Not only did it plague my nightmares, it plagued me when I was awake. If I ever saw him again, I'd wring his neck for good.

I had not thrown that letter out, knowing that I would have to eventually see what was written, but a part of me just wanted to take a lighter and burn it – and pretend it never got to me in the first place. I did not notice when a waiter came around to give out our food. I did not notice when the same waiter came around and filled our cups with wine.

I _did _notice when that wine spilled. With reflexes I did not know I had, I jumped out of the way before the dark red liquid could ruin my outfit. This sent my chair crashing to the floor and caused every head in the room to look at me. Kaoru was part-way out of her seat by this time too, a gasp escaping her lips.

The waiter had accidentally tipped over my drink as he was trying to fill someone's cup across from me. The attention I had been trying to avoid was on me full blast. "I'm so sorry, sir!" The waiter cried, grabbing extra napkins from his breast pocket to mop the mess up. "Extremely sorry. Do forgive me."

Bending down, I picked up my chair. "It's okay." I said, warily.

"Oh here, here, Konoharu, let me take care of that. You should be more careful!" A voice said, busily taking over the job of trying to clear up the mess.

I pushed myself back, and then froze. Wait a second…..I knew that voice…….

"Kamatari?"

Sure enough, the slender figure standing only a few paces away was none other than yours truly. He gave me a wink with those familiar brown eyes, and a big smile. "Hiya, darling!"

All eyes were still staring at me and I fidgeted, not knowing what to respond. Not only did these people think that I was probably a freak with long red hair, they would think that I was gay too!

Seeming to sense my apprehension, Kamatari bent to his task, completely ignoring me for the most part as he went about fixing up the table and clearing the soiled tablecloth. Soon, people's interests waned, and they went back to listening to the person speak.

Kaoru seemed worried as she leaned toward me. "Kenshin, are you okay?" She whispered.

I wanted to snap at her, but I really did not want to ruin this night for her.

"I'm fine." I lied.

She reached for her purse. "We can leave early……." She suggested.

I made a face. "What are you talking about? I'm fine. Really. The party's just started, please don't worry about me."

Nodding, but not convinced, Kaoru returned her attention to the person speaking. Finally, we were given the permission to eat, and I realized that I was starving. Of course I would be: skipping lunch and being kept overtime at work did not help my situation. I hadn't had time to eat anything upon my return home.

Kamatari passed by and clapped me gently on the back. "Slow down, honey. We wouldn't want you choking."

Resisting the urge to stick out my tongue, I rolled my eyes. Kaoru, overhearing, giggled.

"Who is she?" She asked, watching Kamatari move toward the table with drinks.

"A…….friend." I managed, trying not to laugh. "And it's a man."

Kaoru blinked in surprise, but didn't say anything. I guess she didn't have the chance to, because at that moment, the people at our table began to make small talk with us, and I was introduced five times in a row. Apparently, everyone thought that Kaoru had chosen a very good date. I found myself staring at the floor for the most part, in my embarrassment.

When the lady across from me commented on how handsome I looked, I wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear. It made it even worse when another woman at the table chortled. "They do make a good couple, don't they?" She asked.

I tensed. What was it with people thinking those things? Of course, if I denied it, it would not only embarrass Kaoru, but in a way, insult them. And embarrass me further……

Kaoru came to my rescue though. I almost wanted to hug her. "He's not my boyfriend. He is a friend; he's already married with a child." I noticed the way she did not quite say that my wife was at rest. I think she wanted the picture clear: I was taken. I would have hugged her, but I had more dignity than that.

I was terrible with crowds, and terrible at small talk. When they flashed me some glances, I merely gave them a small nod of acknowledgement and prayed that the night would go faster.

I was saved again when the lights dimmed and music started to play. There was going to be dancing too, it seemed, and people started going out onto the dance floor. While they did so, Kaoru took a sip of her wine. "Kenshin, I'm so sorry if they upset you."

Shrugging, I sipped at my own drink, to clear my throat. Kaoru pressed on. "You haven't been enjoying yourself at all, have you?"

Not wanting to make her feel even more anxious, I said, "Well, the food was good..."

She frowned. "If you want to leave……."

"What are you two doing there, sitting around like that? Get up and dance!" Kamatari's voice cut into our conversation rudely. As I have said before, I wondered just where he had managed to pick up his manners from.

Kaoru shook her head. "I'm not a good dancer." She told him, flashing a smile. I saw her eyes dart to me uncertainly. I got up out of my chair.

"Neither am I." I confessed. "But please don't let that ruin the night. I will try my best." I held out my hand to help her up, and she took it, her eyes lighting up as she got to her feet. Kamatari looked pleased as punch.

"Let's make the best out of the rest of the party." I told her.

So we danced, me trying not to look like a total idiot, and Kaoru swaying to the beat of the music while I concentrated on not stepping on her toes. We were in the middle of a slow dance, when someone tapped me on the shoulder.

I turned to see a man with blond hair and blue eyes staring at me. A gaijin…..I was most bewildered: I hadn't expected to see one at the party. I think I was staring, because he gave me a polite smile. "Excuse me, may I cut in?" He asked. His accent was a bit off, but I could understand him perfectly. He looked to be around my age, and just a little bit taller than me. Finally, someone I didn't have to bend my neck back to look up at.

Not knowing what else to do, I stepped back, letting him take her hand. "Thank you." He murmured. Now that she had a different partner, I desperately did not want to be caught up dancing with some other woman. Thus, I retreated to the table with drinks, to make it look like I wanted one.

To my great relief, Kamatari was standing there, surveying the crowd. I ambled up to him, taking my glass of wine with me.

"It's great to see you again, honey." He said, smiling a bit.

"That's Kenshin." I reminded him. "And I am surprised to see you, Kamatari. What are you doing at a place like this?"

He sniffed, but then winked at me, as he always liked to do. "Oh, come on now: you're not the only one who is invited to a place like this." He said.

I tried to hide my shock, but he knew because he pointed out his partner. "Over there is Kondo-san, a friend of mine. She asked if I could accompany her to the party. Of course, I don't want to be around her all the time…..if you get my point." She was dancing with another man.

"She one of the few that understands me though," Kamatari sighed. "Anyway, I would rather help out giving out the drinks." He winked again. "Don't get too drunk, dear, or else your lady won't be happy with you in the passenger seat."

I scowled. "I am not going to drink too much, and she is not my lady."

Kamatari laughed. "Sano's right: you are too serious and you take everything to heart. Lighten up a little, I meant no harm." He jostled me with his arm. I found myself smiling. He had that effect on me I guess.

"How are you?" He asked me, on a more serious note. "The last time you seemed to be wasting away. I hope you're feeling better."

"Better." I answered, mildly. "I guess my visits with the psychiatrist are actually working."

"Psychiatrist?" He set down his glass, and leaned back against the table with the palm of his hands. He wore a pair of slacks that flared out at the bottom and an orange-like shirt. In the darkness it looked like a dim pink color. No wonder Kaoru had mistaken Kamatari for a girl.

I set down my glass as well, nodding. "Yeah…….both my son and I. We're going to Kyoto next week. I'm not really looking forward to it. Scared…..?"

I have no idea why I was telling all of this to Kamatari. But Aoshi's words _open up to someone_ suddenly echoed in my head. So I did. I had not expected it to be someone I didn't even really know. I guess in a way it was better like that, as I would not want to let Sano know my fears because he would certainly be on my case about them. I would not want to let Kaoru know because she would probably panic and offer sympathies. I did not need that.

Kamatari seemed pensive. "Well, everyone's got to face their fears at one point of time or another. I don't know what it is that you're so scared of, but if you are able to cope with the loss of your loved one and still live day to day, I am positive you are strong." He scratched at the back of his right hand with a finger absently, dragging his perfectly manicured nail down his skin slowly. "And if you are strong, you will be able to do anything……

"Many people aren't able to find themselves again after that trauma, but I think you can pick yourself out of the ashes."

My smile was genuine at his response. Suddenly, I felt much better and felt a ray of hope. I thanked him and was about to tell him about my problems concerning Kenji, but I caught a commotion on the other side of the room.

It happened just as the music faded. A loud echoing smack of flesh whipping flesh.

"Just leave me alone, Alan!" Kaoru's angry voice filtered in my ears and I realized that she had just slapped the foreigner right across the face. All eyes were now on her as she angrily gathered up her purse and marched up to me, her face red and her blue eyes flashing angrily.

"Come on, Kenshin! We're leaving."

"Leaving?" I repeated, dazed.

"Now!"

Her order made me wince, and I nodded, giving Kamatari an apologetic look, as I raced after her.

"Kaoru-san! What happened?" I cried, trying to keep pace. Angry women walked so fast, but in the mall they were as slow as snails.

The hallways were quiet, as it was quite late. Most likely people were trying to get some rest. A few staff members were still out on duty, and they gave us a few looks before going back to their job.

"Kaoru-san!"

"Of all the nerve!" She cried. Now her cheeks were a bright pink. "Nothing……..just forget it."

"Did he hurt you?" I demanded. I was not too keen on men hurting girls.

"No." She pushed the elevator button leading down, and we wait for the signal to tell us when it came.

"Well, it must have been something bad," I pointed out. "You slapped him quite hard." My voice turned hard and unforgiving. "Did he…..touch you?"

Kaoru blushed harder. "Well...no. He did insult me though." She clenched her fists. "He is such a pervert! And then he has the nerve to ask me out! If I wasn't at a party I would have done more than slap him, you can believe me!"

Her ranting caused the men to look up and give us stern glares. She seemed to have forgotten we were in a hotel. And she seemed to care less too. I let her rave on about it. For some reason, I wanted her to go back and kick the living daylights out of the guy, but as my mother always told me: violence was not the way to solve things.

When we stepped onto the elevator, Kaoru calmed down a bit. "Well, this was a disaster of a party." She said, ruefully.

"It was okay." I said, running a hand through my hair. "I did manage to have some fun after all."

Kaoru seemed pensive. Finally, she nodded. "Yes, so did I. I think you are a great dancer, Kenshin."

I blushed, and found myself fidgeting with the flap of my tie. "Ah, no, I'm not really…….I'm sorry I didn't finish that last dance with you, Kaoru-san."

She pursed her lips. For a moment, I thought she would start blaming me for letting that Alan guy interfere. Instead, she ran ahead of me, as the doors to the elevator swung open onto the basement floor where we had parked.

Her purse in her hands, she spun, her raven hair trailing out behind her as she twirled. Her voice was once again the sing song carefree one. "That's okay, Kenshin! Just make sure that next time, you save the last dance for me!"

Next time?

There would be a next time?

I grinned. "Aa…...sure. I promise."

Stuffing my hands in my pockets, I followed her back to her car. The night was over and hadn't gone as badly as I thought it would.

One task tackled.

One more ahead.

But this time, I felt a bit stronger and more certain.

_Kyoto, here I come!

* * *

_

_Gaijin means 'a foreigner'. This term is often given to people who don't look like they're Japanese, (even if they are born in Japan.)

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_

**To Be Continued………

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**

AN: I wasn't quite sure how to finish this chapter. I thought to leave it at Kenshin making the promise to Kaoru, but, I wanted to show that Kenshin's next issue will soon be addressed. So again, next update all! Otanoshimini! Next chapter: Kyoto?

Please tell me what you think. Good K/K interaction? Yes? No? Click that button!


	15. Over The Years

**IN THE END by: Chiki Yumeshisa **

_Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin...all original characters/ideas are mine to claim though. _

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AN: Sorry, I forgot to answer the question that some people were still uncertain about: YES Tomoe is the same person as Yuki. And vice versa! I hope that this will clear some stuff up about Kenshin's past with her. Also, YUKI came from Tomoe's last name, Yukishiro. Sorry for the late update. Thank IceAngelKaoru for threatening me.

**Warnings: A bit of darkness ahead as well as some 'staleness'. No flames please as you have been warned! Thanks!**

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**CHAPTER 15  
- Over The Years -**

_**(0-0-0-0-0)**_

"How are you?" I asked, fondly, twirling the phone's cord absently around my index finger of my left hand.

"Not so good……" Was her response. Come to think of it, she didn't sound all too well. I was instantly worried.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

I could practically see her shake her head, as if to dispel my anxiousness. "Nothing, Kenshin. It's just a little headache, that's all. Maybe I've been working too hard?"

I relaxed a little at that. "You shouldn't push yourself." I scolded, playfully.

Her voice sounded wistful. "I miss you. Will you come visit soon?"

Frowning, I glanced down at the cafeteria's table. I was sitting down eating a bowl of salad, a stack of papers holding notes for my report sitting next to me. I had an hour to kill before class so I had decided to call Yuki. "I can't do that; I have an important exam coming up in a month and I have to concentrate."

Disappointment followed, and I could tell she was trying her best to sound cheerful. "That's okay."  
Picking up my fork, I took a bite of the food. "Just a little longer, okay Yuki? I will make it all up to you, I promise."

Having been separated for a good 11 years, Tomoe had every reason to be upset. But she was not the only one that was lonely. At least she was with her friends and family, while I was stuck in Tokyo trying to get through University alone. Sure I had made friends, but it wasn't the same.

Actually, I had gotten used to the busy streets and different atmosphere. And Sano's presence was comforting too.

Sometimes, I would return to Kyoto for a weekend to see my wife, and see my son. Most of the time though, he was out or we did not see each other much. I had one more year to go before I could see them again for good. I just had to be patient.

Yuki laughed. "You had better, Himura Kenshin!" Then she sighed, almost like a breath of pain.

I stopped poking at the onions in my salad. "You really don't sound good, Yuki." I told her. "You should get some rest."

"…...Yeah…..this headache is a really bad one." She told me. "I've had it since yesterday……"

"Did you take something for it?" I demanded.

Waving off my concern, she replied. "Of course I have! Don't worry."  
I accidentally bit my tongue and I recoiled in pain. After wincing for a while, I quickly said, "Go settle down now then. I'll call you as soon as my classes are finished."

She agreed to that and hung up.

Once again, I was alone.

More than once I had thought to give up my studies, but Yuki insisted that I follow my dream. So I was up to my neck in work and reports.

The sting in my tongue was painful, but not compared to the pain I felt in my heart of being away from my loved ones.

It was 2 days later that I received the worst call in my life.

**0-0-0-0-0**

The phone rang.

I glanced at it warily, and slowly put down the shirt I was holding.

The phone rang again. This time, I got up, left my suitcase and went to retrieve it. It was practically jumping off its cradle. I wasn't too pleasant when I picked it up, as of course, I had been interrupted. "Hello?"  
"Hello. Is Kenji there?" The voice on the other line asked. In the background there were loud voices and rock music playing.

"Yeah….." I muttered, making my way to the door. I usually just hollered down the stairs for my boy to pick up the phone, but suddenly, a strange thought hit me. "Who's calling?" I asked.

"This is Taku……..uh…….this is Yahiko." The boy said.

Suspiciously, I was about to ask another question, when Kenji appeared behind me. He gave me a questioning look and I surrendered the phone to him, before going back to my bedroom.

I wasn't normally a snoop. However, I was very worried about the company my son kept, especially since during my last visit with Shinomori-san who had told me that I should try to find out more about Kenji and find out what made him so withdrawn. Of course, his friendships would be included.

_Back to packing._

My clothes were piled neatly on top of my bed; my suitcase lay open on the floor. According to my father, Kyoto's weather was rain, rain, and more rain. Well, it could be expected, as it was spring.

Even though I had everything ready, my progress in getting it all together was going very slowly. I guess I dreaded the very next morning when we would be on our way. Sano had generously offered to bring us there on the long drive. I knew better. He was on the lookout for me.

After the last night's party, I wasn't able to fall asleep very quickly. But I had been so physically exhausted that I hadn't had been up to packing either. So now I was hurrying.

I was most surprised when the doorbell rang. Was Kenji expecting someone? Because I certainly wasn't. Kenji was downstairs though, the rock music on so loud there was no way he would hear the doorbell. He was probably still on the phone too. With another sigh, I got up again.

My surprise heightened when I saw who it was standing at the door. I had seen her so many times in this one week, and I couldn't help but wonder at how our paths always seemed to cross. "Uh……hi, Kaoru-san." I greeted. I guess it was rude of me to stare.

Kaoru smiled a bit. "Sorry for coming out of nowhere." She said. "But I tried calling and no one was answering the phone."

"That would be Kenji." I explained. Then I waited to see what she had come for. Today, her hair was up in a high ponytail, dressed casually in jeans and a light sweatshirt that said HAPPY DAYS on the front of it. It was a nice smooth cream color. It was the first time I had seen her dressed down like that. I found it difficult to believe that she could dress so well, but couldn't even keep her house. I guess no one should really judge a book by its cover.

She cleared her throat. "Actually, uh, you left your jacket in the car yesterday." She held out a bag to me. "I came by to drop it off before you left for Kyoto tomorrow."

I took it from her slowly, and she gave me a worried look. I had forgotten to make my face expressionless. "Will you be okay?" She asked.

I glanced up at her. "Yeah….yeah, I'll be okay." I said, forgetting to smile.

Obviously not convinced, Kaoru frowned. "You've been brooding over something all week. It's obvious it's not the dinner outing we went to yesterday."

"Dinner outing!" A voice interrupted. Surprised, I searched for the source of the sound. There was Sanosuke, coming up my front steps behind Kaoru. I had been so preoccupied seeing Kaoru that I hadn't even heard Sano's car pull up. What was with all the visitors today?

A huge smile adorned his face. "What's this? You guys went to a dinner outing yesterday?"

I blushed furiously and he winked. "You can use a simpler word. It's called a 'date'."

"It's not a date!" I mumbled, half-heartedly. Kaoru had to be standing right there too!

Kaoru smiled a bit at my discomfort but did not offer any comment. Instead, she turned her eyes to Sanosuke. "Hello again." She greeted.

"Yo, Jou-chan!" He greeted eagerly. "If you want to spend time with Kenshin, then I guess I can go……."

"No, Sano!" I growled menacingly. "It's quite all right!"

Kaoru's cheeks went pink and I could tell she was suppressing a giggle. Great, now she was finding my predicament funny. I decided to fume at Sano for a while. "What are you doing here anyway? You're one day too early."

Sano shrugged. "I came for dinner and to see if you needed help."

Yeah, at least he stated the first truth. The second was suspicious: he would most likely just lounge on my couch and watch television or something. The only help he'd be giving me would be to stay quiet, which, was most unlikely.

"Well….." Kaoru backed away a step. "I guess I will say goodbye today then. Have a great trip and take care!"

"Thank you." I said, nodding. _Great trip my ass_….

She cast me another worried look before going down my steps and into her car. I watched as it sped down the street.

Then I felt a poke in my ribs. Sanosuke's grin reminded me very much of my father's. I scowled as I let him into the house and closed the door after him. "I saw the way you were looking at her!" He turned to face me, so suddenly that I almost collided headfirst into him.

"I wasn't looking at her." I told him evenly.

"Right." He nodded.

"I don't like her, Sano."

"Right." He nodded again. "But even you have to see the obvious."  
I rolled my eyes. _I give up._ No matter how much protesting I did, no one seemed to get the hint that I wasn't interested in my son's biology teacher. I brushed past my friend, making my way back to my bedroom to finish packing. It was getting late and we needed a good night's sleep.

"C'mon man!" He said, following me. "She likes you!"

I froze. "Sano….." I said.

"She does!" He insisted. "It's in her eyes when she looks at you."

"Sano….." I sighed, crossing the room and squatting down in front of my suitcase.

He sat down on my bed, absently picking up a shirt that I had placed there and handing it to me. "On a more serious note: what are you going to do if you bump into Kain?" He asked. "Or worse yet….."

"I will not bump into them!" I interrupted, irritated. "I have no intention of even seeing them. Unless my father has let out a banner that states my arrival, then they should not know about my return."

"I'm saying 'if'. Knowing your damn luck, you may end up seeing people you don't want to see."

He had a point. My luck was just the worst. Usually when I tried to avoid someone, I would bump into them the very same day. I slowly placed the shirt into the open case on top of my other ones. "I don't know what I'll do." I told him truthfully. "I do not want to know what Kain has in mind. I haven't read his letter yet."

Sano grunted in dismay, but said no more on the subject. Instead, he stretched out on my bed, with his hands behind his head in a lazy way. "Say, Kenshin: what _do_ you think of Jou-chan?"

We were back to this. Why did everyone ask? Getting up, I went to my dresser drawer to see where I had placed my deodorant. It was sitting by my hair brush. A few red strands littered the dresser and I gathered them up in one hand while I picked up the deodorant in the other. After I had thrown the strands in the garbage, I bent back to my task.

What _did_ I think of Kaoru? She was annoying, loud, nosy and frustrating. At the same time, she was smart, optimistic and cheerful. Kaoru was a puzzle all on her own. "She……is a strong person." I told him, finally.

Sano's eyes were closed, but he let a smile form to let me know he was listening. I dreaded another question dealing with Kaoru, but instead, he asked, "So…….when's dinner?"

**0-0-0-0-0**

I got no sleep that night, because of my anxiousness over our trip the next day. And we had to get up really early: the sun had not even come out yet. Thus the reason why my eyes were red and bleary. I could hardly stand, and poor Sano had to haul our suitcases into his car by himself. I was not fit to even make breakfast, as Kenji had made it.

Luckily for me, it was not burned and it actually held some taste. But I was not up to eating. There were so many butterflies in my stomach I knew that I would have a hard time keeping down the food if I ate.

Kenji was as excited as a little boy on Christmas Day. He was wearing normal clothing, not an article of anything dark. In fact, he was wearing pure Khaki-colored clothing. He had even placed a fisherman's hat on his head of the same color that clashed terribly with his dark red hair.

I dragged myself out of the house once Sano announced that everything was ready and that it was time to go. He gave me a look of understanding as we piled into his car – me in the front and Kenji in the back seat.

It was like walking in a dream. I could not believe I was actually going to do this on my own decision.

"Y'all right, little buddy?" Sano asked me under his breath. "Hang in there."

"I'll be fine." I said, leaning my head against the window. My head had started to ache slightly and my eyes were burning. Exhausted both mentally and physically I decided that sleep was in order. Even if it would take us a couple of hours to get to Kyoto, I wanted rest before I met up with the past again.

Kenji sat quietly at the back, looking out the window intently. Sanosuke was kind enough not to turn up his music and the two conversed in low voices. The lull of their voices made me fall asleep.

The next thing I knew, I felt my head hit the window so hard, I jolted awake. A bump would form for sure. Putting my hand up to my forehead, I winced and glared at Sanosuke angrily.

"Sorry about that!" He cried. "Hit a road bump: I didn't even see it!"

Grumbling, I rubbed at the assaulted spot and then turned my gaze out the window. My eyes were no longer burning, but I was in a foul mood. What little sleep I had gotten did not help me enough. If there was one thing that I could safely say about myself, was that I was cranky when people woke me up. I was not a friendly morning person.

The scenery was very familiar and I knew without a doubt that we were back in Kyoto. How long I had slept, I had no clue. Many things had changed though and after 15 long years, it was like a fog over my brain lifted.

We were back in my hometown and I could feel my heart hammering against my chest so hard, I was afraid it would explode. So many memories came rushing back, I felt faint.

_I don't want to be here….._

Across the street was a park, and the huge tree still stood in the middle of it. I remembered that tree: it was where I had first found out that I had been adopted when I was five years old. I remember crying every night for the following two weeks, terrified that my father would give me away. And three blocks down from the park was my elementary school.

And a few streets away was my high school.

I had met Yuki there.

"We're here." Kenji announced quietly from the back seat. He was right. We had pulled up in front of a modern house that was a pale red brown color. The lawn was neatly cut and bare of all leaves or weeds. The front windows were open, letting the fresh air in. And the front door was open too, almost like I was being welcomed home. Yes, this was home.

Kenji got out of the car first, eagerly skipping up the stairs and into the house freely. Sano got out next, and I sat still in the passenger seat, still buckled in safely. He stooped down to peer at me. "You coming?" He asked.

I nodded woodenly, still staring at the house. So call me a loser, a wimp, or a coward…..but I really did not want to be here. The next two weeks would be hell. Slowly, I unbuckled my seatbelt and somehow made my way out onto the front lawn. By this time, my father knew we were here and he had come out on the porch to greet us.

The front of his white shirt was smeared with clay that looked like a dark putty color. His hands were crusted with it as well, a few strands of his hair out of place in strings around his oval face. It was quite obvious he had just stepped away from his wheel.

He raised one of those clay encrusted hands to us in an acknowledgement. "So you finally made it, ah!"

I stuffed my hands in my pockets. "Yeah….."

"Well, what are you waiting for? Come on up! Sano! Forget the luggage for now, let's have something to eat!"

At the mention of food, my stomach growled up at me. Sanosuke seemed to be getting the same idea because he didn't bother to protest and followed me in the house. Then again, he would never protest.

I was nearly knocked over as my mother charged at me, taking me in her crushing embrace. For a woman who was nearing her sixties, she was still strong. I had to protest that I couldn't breathe before she let her grip slack. She pulled away, her face positively shining. "Oh Kenshin! It's been such a long time!" To my great horror, she planted a big wet kiss on my temple.

From the dining room table, Kenji watched with round eyes. I knew inside he was laughing so hard.

"Mom!" I cried, trying to pull away.

"Oh, you are so thin! I don't think you've been eating well enough!" She was clucking again, shaking her head and leading me to the table. "I'll have you fattened up in no time!"

Sano seated himself beside me and I sat down across from Kenji, who was still wide eyed. Right by the bay window stood a large photo of my parents and I when I had been younger, and right next to that stood a photo of Tomoe and I, on our wedding day.

I felt my stomach plummet further and my appetite suddenly disappeared. Mom didn't seem to notice as she sat down at one head of the table, next to me. "It's been 3 years, do you know that Kenshin!" She scolded.

Glancing down at the plate in front of me, I nodded.

"I was so worried about you after I heard of what happened: I couldn't even comfort you."

This was precisely why I didn't want to return to Kyoto. For sure Mom would be on my case about my absence: something I didn't want to talk about. To my greatest relief, dad rescued me.

"Saori, for heaven's sake, let the boy be: he just got here." His voice was gentle, but the meaning was firm. At that, Mom blinked and handed me a bowl of rice, her expression regretful.

So much for the happy welcome. I couldn't stand the tension. It made me want to get up and leave. It was to my great surprise when I saw Kenji jump up and ask, "Grandma, would you like me to help you?"

Mom smiled. "No dear, you sit down and enjoy your meal." She had cooked up a feast. Sushi and a number of other special dishes were laid out in front of us. Despite the way my appetite had floundered, it was back with a vengeance when the first piece was popped into my mouth. Mom's cooking beat mine any day!

Sano was too busy stuffing his face in: this was a rare treat for him. Of course, he insisted that her food was the greatest thing on the planet. She was tickled pink with the comment.

I readily agreed, and dinner managed to go smoothly after that. She asked me how I was coping in Tokyo and if my job was satisfactory. When I had given her the answers she was looking for, she turned to Kenji, and asked him how he was doing in school.

"I'm doing great." He said, seriously.

I cast him a wary look from behind my mother's back as I took my dinner plate and brought it to the kitchen to be washed. When I came back to try and clear up the table as much as possible, I heard him saying, "And I got the highest mark."

I nudged him a bit with my elbow. "Don't lie." I shot my mother an apologetic smile. Now she seemed confused.

Kenji's cheeks went pink with both anger and embarrassment. "I am not lying! It's true! I got the highest mark on our last test in Biology! Even ask Kamiya-sensei!"

I didn't know whether to believe him or not because he had the tendency to fib, but I didn't want my mother getting worried. I let out a small sound before making my way back to the kitchen. Sanosuke and my father were busying themselves dragging out our luggage from the car and into the house.

My arms were covered with suds as I scrubbed at the plates absently. The sleeves to my gray sweatshirt had not been pulled back properly and were now slowly getting wet. For some strange reason, I was thinking about Kaoru. Her worried look when I had last seen her lingered in my memory.

"Kenshin?"

I shook myself out of my thoughts and turned to see who it was that was calling me. "Kenshin, are you okay?" it was my mother. She was holding the last of the dishes in her arms, the sleeves to her yukata pulled back already with the tie securing it tightly.

She was a thin woman herself, but her face was always round and shining. She was taller than me which was not a surprise. She had dark eyes and hair like my dad.

"Yeah……I'm fine. About earlier: I'm really sorry I didn't come back to see you……" I mumbled. The dish was in danger of slipping from my fingers, and I took a better grip on it.

"That's okay." She replied, getting to work on rinsing. "I shouldn't have reminded you like that."

I said nothing to that, and it was a while before she sadly said, "You know, you are not the only one who was fond of Tomoe: no one got to say goodbye except you. I didn't expect her never to return." Her eyes filled with tears. "So how much more do you think it hurt when you never wanted to return? I thought I'd never see you again either."

Now I understood her completely. She had, after all, spent more time with Yuki than I had. Then one day, her daughter-in-law disappeared, never to return again.

"I'm sorry." I said again. "It's all my fault."

Mom sighed, sliding the dish into the holder, letting the drops of water drip back into the sink so that it wouldn't get all over the counter. "It's not your fault, dear. Your father tells me you have a hard time accepting that fact."

"It is my fault, mom!" I cried, turning to her. "If I had only studied harder! If I hadn't passed it off as a headache when she first told me about her pain! If I had concentrated and looked for the answer….if I had enough time……." I was getting choked up again.

She was glaring. "No, Kenshin! Nothing you could have done would have saved her. It was unexpected. It isn't your fault."

The pain of guilt was still so heavy and I felt my mom put an arm around my shoulders, giving them a squeeze.

Afterwards, she steered the subject away from Tomoe……to Kaoru. I was shocked with what my father had told her about my son's teacher. Apparently, he approved of her for me, and Mom was ecstatic to learn that I had made a new friend.

I opened my mouth to tell her that I wasn't dating Kaoru, but Mom already knew. All she did was grin.

What was with everyone!

**0-0-0-0-0**

I had to share a room with Kenji that night because the guest room was being taken up by Sanosuke. Mom had invited him to stay, thanking him for bringing me safely to Kyoto. I knew that Sano intended to have me remain safe and was keeping a close eye on me. I felt like a child who had to be constantly supervised.

Not to mention the fact that Kenji was not too pleased to have to share a room with me. This was the first. As much as possible, we tried not to be in the same room at the same time to keep each other from going insane.

As there was only one bed in the room, I let him have it of course. I was content to roll up in a futon anyway. The floor was padded with tatami, so it was comfortable enough. The room used to belong to me when I had been younger.

That much was obvious as pictures of me when I had been younger lined a small case by the wall. Pictures of me at school and at work….pictures with me and Tomoe. A smaller version of our main wedding picture stood in a frame there too along with a few other ones. I averted my gaze from there.

They fell on another little case, holding pictures of Kenji and Tomoe and the family when they had lived there. Since I hadn't seen much of my son when he had been younger, I made my way closer to it to see.

I wasn't very surprised to see that he was a spinning image of me when I had been younger. Even though his hair was darker, he still had the chubby face and bright eyes. Over the years though, that changed. He got taller and thinner, paler and the brightness seemed to grow duller. Now, the brightness was gone all together.

I did my best not to take glimpses of Tomoe, but I found myself doing so, relishing in memories, becoming wistful. I was so engrossed staring at a picture of her that I didn't hear my son come into the room. I nearly jumped out of my skin when I heard him clear his throat. Putting down the picture as if it had burned my fingers, I pushed it aside.

He was staring holes into me as he climbed into bed. He was wearing boxers and a plain gray yukata, his hair tied up in a high pony tail.

Wiping my hands on the front of my shirt, I nervously backed away from the display case. "Uh….." I started to say.

Kenji said nothing, reaching into his duffel bag by the food of the bed and whipping out his diary.

Knowing that he wasn't up to chatting, and glad that I did not have to, I gathered some clothes for a nice long shower. Mom had most likely gotten a bath ready for me and I really wanted to relax.

The washroom held two tubs, a big one for multiple bathers, and a smaller one for those who were bathing by themselves. The smaller one was filled with hot steaming water and I could hardly wait to soak in it.

Stripping myself of clothing, I began to scrub at my arms tiredly. The rush of hot water felt wonderful against my tired limbs. It's amazing how a trip alone could make me so worn out, and it hadn't even started fully yet.

My hair fell against me like a wet curtain, making it look as if I was drenched in blood. It fell down my back, stopping just before my waist. My fingers tangled themselves in with the red mess trying to clean it, and only after I was done washing was I rewarded with a soothing soak.

I had hoped that by the time I returned to the bedroom, Kenji would be asleep. Instead, I saw him sitting up in bed, reading. He glanced up as I entered, and shut the book he was holding closed. I was surprised to see it was not a manga but a textbook from school.

"Studying during your vacation?" I asked, lightly, rummaging through my suitcase for my brush. Once I found it, I began to disentangle my hair from all the knots.

Kenji shrugged and slid the book back into his duffel bag before lying down and pulling the covers up to his chin. "I'm tired." He announced. "Good night."

I managed to tie my hair back even though it was still wet and climb into my futon. I was tired too, and I couldn't wait to get some much needed rest. However, for a long time, I stared up at the ceiling, not able to find sleep.

I wished someone was there to knock me out or at least bore me to sleep with useless chatting. Where was Kaoru when I needed her?

When I turned on my side, I saw Kenji staring down at me. Startled, he rolled over so that his back was turned to me. By that time, Hiko's snoring could be heard from down the hall. How my mother managed to sleep in the same room, I had no idea. And to top it off, Sano's snoring joined in with my father's like a duet of some sort. Except this one was so horrible I wanted to cork them both.

"I can't sleep." Kenji muttered, his voice heavy with irritation.

I put my hands behind my head, lying on my back. "Me neither."

A long silence followed after that, and I wondered whether Kenji had fallen asleep already. To my relief, my eyes began to droop and just as I was going to drift away into rest, I heard a muffled sound. A sob?

Kenji was curled up in a fetus position on the bed, his back turned to me, facing the window. As I was on the ground, I could not see him clearly. I glanced up anyway, wondering what was wrong.

"Kamiya-sensei didn't tell you…….did she?" He asked, quietly.

What a strange thing to bring up. "She didn't bring what up?" I asked, tiredly.

"The fact that I passed the test with the highest mark." He said.

"No."

Another long silence.

Then, he said bitterly, "So all she knows how to do is tell you the bad stuff. It's funny how she forgets to tell you the good news." A certain loathing was in his voice, and I could tell that he didn't like her very much at all.

"Kenji….."

He didn't answer.

It took even longer for me to fall asleep after that.

_- Japanese women usually serve the men at every meal. (Of course, since Kenshin's a widower, he does all the serving in Tokyo) Thus, the surprise when Kenji offers to help out during the meal._

_-In Japan, people bathe together. _

**To Be Continued…….**

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AN: Sorry, on a bit of a riff when it comes to writing again. It sort of wrote itself, do tell me what you think.

Click that button!


	16. More Things To Think About

IN THE END

By: Chiki Yumeshisa

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Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin…..all original characters/ideas are mine to claim.

AN: I'm so glad to see that everyone hasn't forgotten about this story, what with my tardiness in updating. Anyways, this chapter I had a bit of trouble with because I have been hitting a writer's block. I hope that you enjoy it still. Please keep those reviews coming.

**_Warnings: Mellowness ahead. No flames please as you have been warned. (I hate the writer's block….)_**

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**CHAPTER16**

**-More Things to Think About-**

I woke up early the next morning, with the sun filtering in through the window. It was then that I realized that my left arm was quite numb. I had probably fallen asleep on it. Making a face, I began to try and wake it up. A hot rushing feeling took the place of the numbness as the blood began to sweep back into my arm. After a while, the comforting warmth turned into the annoying sense of pins and needles.

Kenji was still fast asleep, in the same fetal position he had been in when I had last seen him the night before.

When I had finally shaken off the painful feeling in my arm, I got up to stretch. I could not fall sleep again; I was afraid to. As I pulled my blanket off, I caught sight of Kenji's duffel bag, the corner of that book he had been studying from last night sticking out of it. Peering closer, I saw that it was a biology text book.

His last words were still fresh in my mind, and I felt bad. I guess Kaoru had been too busy thinking about the party and I had been so preoccupied with my anxiousness going to Kyoto that we had totally forgotten to talk about the progress of my son.

Glancing at the clock, I saw that it was only 7:00. At this time, most likely no one else was awake yet. I could tell: Dad was still snoring, but thankfully, it had decreased in volume. Quietly, so as not to wake my son, I rummaged through my suitcase to find a pair of pants and a shirt. After slipping them on, I exited the room, closing the door softly behind me.

I nearly had a heart attack when I felt a hand touch my shoulder after I had freshened myself up and was exiting the washroom. Whirling around so fast – my hair whipped my face – I saw that it was my mother.

"Good morning, dear." She greeted, quietly. She glanced at me worriedly.

I forced myself to calm down. "Sorry." I muttered, running a hand through my hair, which I had not combed through. "I didn't think you were up."

Mom grinned. "Don't be silly: I have to make breakfast. Feeding four men isn't easy you know, especially the way your friend eats."

Smiling a bit, I followed her to the kitchen and began to help her. Before I could so much as get anything out of the refrigerator, she said, "You are up early too: are you in that much of a rush to meet with your friends?"

I paused. _What?_ I was meeting with someone? A cold chill ran down my spine, and I slowly pulled the radishes out of the little compartment at the bottom of the fridge. I stood up and gave her a puzzled look. "Who knows that I'm here?" I asked, placing the stuff down on the counter.

She had just finished putting the pot down on the stove to boil the water and was currently trying to tie an apron around her waist. "Everyone of course." She said, casually.

Inside, I panicked. It had been my plan that no one knew I had come back, so I had not said a word to anyone but my family. I had even told them specifically not to let anyone know. I don't know if mom knew how I felt about that news, because she was acting so calm and collective as if it were the easiest thing in the world to accept.

Keeping my voice low so it wouldn't tremble, I asked, "So…..they were told…."

"I thought you told them." Mom said, sounding a bit surprised. "Your father told me strictly not to say a word, and of course, he wouldn't say anything either."

Puzzled even more, I furrowed my eyebrows. Who could have done it? Kenji might have told his friends but I doubted that they had any connection with mine. The only other person I had told was…..

"Sano……." I growled, wanting to smack my forehead.

At that moment, Sano walked in, yawning. He blinked bleary eyes at us and gave us a wan smile. He had already washed his face and everything but he still looked like he would have liked to sleep in. "G'morning!" he greeted us.

It was all I could do to stop myself from flying across the room and strangling him. "What's up?" He asked, meeting my glare.

"Who did you tell!" I demanded.

He blinked again. And then a look of understanding passed through his eyes. "Ken….."

"I told you not to tell anyone." I said, as I watched mom secure the sleeves to her yukata up before she began to wash the rice.

"I know." Sanosuke agreed, sitting down at the table and knitting his hands together. "But I wanted to tell everyone because they're going to be worried about you too. I can't stay with you for long, so I have to have someone look out for you."

In other words, I was an incompetent fool who was unable to look after himself. I felt another growl of frustration growing in my throat.

Mom's voice suddenly cut in. "Kenshin, I think you are acting too paranoid: besides, your friends would love to see you. It's been a long time."

Yeah, she just kept bringing that up. That was not the point though: the point was that if my friends knew……..then for sure some other people would know.

I suddenly heard Kamatari's reassuring voice in my head. _Everyone's got to face their fears at one point of time or another. I don't know what it is that you're so scared of, but if you are able to cope with the loss of your loved one and still live day to day, I am positive you are strong._

_And_ _if you are strong, you can do anything……_

I felt that familiar hope inside, and I gathered my wits about me. Yes, I was strong. And I had moved forward. Even though every step hurt, the pain of each one dwindled slowly but surely every time. My hands moved on their own, picking up the knife and starting to slice the radishes into small cubes, almost expertly.

"I guess I'll meet with them after breakfast." I told them, distantly after taking many deep breaths. My nerves felt like jelly – I didn't know what to think anymore.

Sano and my mother exchanged glances. "So…you're okay with it all?" Sano asked, almost fearfully.

I shrugged. "If they already know I'm here, I can't avoid them forever." I met his eye and he froze. "I can't keep running away, can I?"

It was mean of me, I know, to be so cold, but I guess I was hurt. I hadn't expected Sanosuke to put my emotions on the line like that. I had expected him to be protective of those too, but it seemed I had an insensitive jerk as a best friend.

"I'm really sorry, Kenshin." He said, quietly.

Concentrating on slicing the last radish and not my finger, I took in some more deep breaths. Yeah, I knew he was. I knew I was over reacting. I didn't want to stay mad at him. I merely nodded, not wanting to speak, afraid that I might say something I would regret.

After that, I spoke very little, letting Sano and my mother chat freely. I was busy trying to get a whole speech memorized for all my friends. I wasn't up to their questioning, but then again, I guess I owed them that much.

Sano's voice filtered back toward me as he was saying, "I have to get going by tonight. I have something back in Tokyo that I've got to do, but I will be back here in about two days."

Startled, I turned around. Great, he was sticking me with the situation to handle all by myself. He grinned upon seeing my frown, and practically skipped out of the kitchen.

I should have been used to it: Sano and I had been pals for so long and I still couldn't get used to the way he constantly frustrated me.

My father and Kenji came in at the same time, both hungry and looking for food. Sanosuke had already perched himself at the dining table, eagerly. I had half a mind to drop some hot chili peppers into his miso soup, but I wasn't that cruel. Even though Mom insisted that she'd be the one to serve, I ignored her and began to dish out the food. It wasn't as if I had never done it before.

"Did you unpack already?" Mom asked me, once we were done and everyone had begun to dig in.

I shook my head. "I didn't have time last night….I will work on it today."

Kenji glanced up from his food, licking his lips to get at the stray piece of rice that had tried to get away. "I want to go and visit my friends today." He announced. I realized he was avoiding my gaze and staring straight at my mother.

She of course assented. I had heard tell that my mother spoiled Kenji to no end, and would allow him to do anything and have everything he wanted. I didn't approve of that, but then again, she was mostly like that when I had been younger too. Except there was one difference between me and him: I tended to be too serious.

Back then, there was no time to play in my schedule. In short, I was a bookworm; the known geek or nerd of the neighborhood.

Satisfied, Kenji gobbled up another two bowlfuls of rice before declaring himself full. Then, he rushed to make some phone calls and was out of the house even before I could tell him to be careful.

Dad smirked at my reaction. "Calm down, kid. The boy knows what he's doing: he's safer here than he is in Tokyo." He sounded spiteful at the mention of the main city. He leaned his elbow on the table as mom dished him some more rice. "He has been living here for the most part after all."

"I think it's perfectly normal for him to be worried about Kenji-kun." Mom retorted, handing him back his bowl. "He hasn't been with his son for very long: it is understandable that he is worried to lose him too."

I felt like I was watching a movie: they didn't even seem to care that I was sitting there in front of them. It was almost as if I was invisible or something. Mom turned to me then, cutting me off from my brooding. "Kenshin, you go out and enjoy yourself too. If it makes you feel any better, maybe you can go check out that new library that was built just last year. It may hold something of interest."

Swallowing down a chunk of rice, I nodded numbly.

"Um……ah…..I'll go with you." Sano offered. I knew he hated libraries with a passion. He was going to tag along so he could keep an eye on me.

"No, I can go by myself." I told him, but he refused to listen and we ended up going there together.

A 'hop-skip-and-jump away', there was no need for us to use the car. I enjoyed the walk though, as Kyoto didn't seem to be as cold as it was in Tokyo. Spring had developed nicely, and now and again, we would walk by a field of Sakura trees in full bloom, their petals falling to the floor like soft pink raindrops.

They were more abundant in Kyoto, and I could see people in the parks with their blankets and food baskets sitting under them. Ohanami had hit again that year, and it was beautiful.

Sano walked along side me, wordlessly. He bent down once to pick up a small twig from the ground and popped it into his mouth. I wanted to gag and scold him, but it was his habit to chew on something…..well, more like, chew on anything. He was watching the people in the park lazily as we strolled by.

"I should bring my girlfriend here……" he murmured.

"Girlfriend?"

"Yeah……"

Resisting the urge to roll my eyes, but not being successful, I teased, "What number girl is it this time? Or is it a new girl every week?"

He reached out a long arm to cuff me, but I ducked it triumphantly, a carefree smile on my face. He had developed a small blush of his own. He tried to get another whack at me, but I dodged that too: sometimes, there were advantages to being short.

It felt like the days when we had been younger. Sano's favorite sport was wrestling and we would do it often. Sometimes, our mock fights would prove worthy when it came to a real situation with bullies at school. Namely picking on me. One always had to run so as not to get their head swished in a toilet bowl.

Stepping back to avoid his punch, I swiveled so that I was behind him. He turned with amazing speed and I managed to catch his fist in my open palm just in time. He was grinning too. "I proposed to her." He said, coolly.

I dropped his hand in amazement, trying to gather my wits and trying not to balk at his statement.

_Sano_….._proposing_?

How unreal!

I pulled back, shaking my head in disbelief. "Who's the lucky girl?" I demanded, as he turned to walk away.

His smile was distant. "Her name's Magdaria……" He said.

"Magdaria?" I said. "What kind of a name is that…? Is she a gaijin?"

"No." He said. "She's Japanese. But she uses her confirmation name."

I blinked in confusion. "She's Catholic?"

"Yeah."

That was new. Sano always told me that he didn't believe in God. But I guess that really didn't matter to him now.

Feeling totally bewildered, I poked him in the side. "Well! When's your wedding going to be? When did this happen? How did you meet her? How long have you guys been dating?"

Laughing, Sano spit out the stick and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "Calm down, Ken!" He reached out to grab another small twig from the ground, as we passed the park and into another neighborhood. "You sound like your father!"

That shut me up. I had always insisted that I was not like my dad in any way, but I guess it rubbed off a little. Still, I was bursting to know the details. I forced myself to remain cool and reminded myself that it was not my business to pry into another person's life. Even if the other person was Sano.

Just to irk me, he stayed quiet for a long while, as we turned another street. At the very end of it stood the brand new building, gleaming in its white and silver color. It stood about fourteen floors off the ground, its structure looking somewhat like an octagon. I was very surprised: the last library had had two floors and had been in need of serious renovation. This one was gorgeous, welcoming its visitors readily.

I almost forgot about Sano's earlier statement as the building took my breath away. I was never one for architecture but I guess I was being surprised so much in one day that I couldn't help myself. All of a sudden, I really wanted to go inside.

Sano sighed. "Your eyes are getting all starry on me again."

"What type of books do you think they have?" I asked eagerly. "Something on neurological developments?"

He sighed again. "I have no interest in neuro….stuff."  
"Maybe something on psychotic statistics." I continued. "Or….some more on….."

Sano chuckled. "You're getting excited again. You'll see soon enough." For the second time that day, he spit out his stick, but this time, made no move to find a new one. Instead, he stuffed his hands into his pockets.

"I'm going to meet up with Magdaria later." He informed me. "I want to introduce you. She's very nice."

I glanced at him from the corner of my eye, and he continued, "I met her about three years ago……after…….after, well, Yuki died. When I came back from Tokyo, I met her and we started dating. We fought a lot in the beginning, but we eventually fell in love.

"I proposed to her this year about six months back. Before I came back to Tokyo to visit you. We are probably going to get married about this time next year. And I want you to be my best man, Ken."

The corners of my mouth turned up at that. Sano had been my best man at my wedding when I had been younger. "I'd be honored." I told him, sincerely. "As long as you write _Kenshin_ on the invitation and not _Ken_."

"Sure thing, Ken." Quipped Sano.

The guy knew how to bait me.

"So, what does she look like?" I asked, eyeing the building as it drew nearer.

"You'll see. I don't have a photo of her on me right now." He sounded so pleased. "I'm sure you guys will get along well."

Now I had to be skeptical: every time he said that, it ended up being someone I became fast enemies with. Take Akira, for example. He had turned out to be a major dickhead.

Forcing a smile on my face, I nodded. "Well, when are we going to see her?"

"Sometime this afternoon." He informed me.

I carefully stepped over some dog's litter before turning to face Sano squarely. "Congratulations, Sanosuke. I hope you will be happy."

He was beaming all over as he nodded in appreciation.

We reached the library at last, walking the rest of the way in silence. I guess we had our own little things to ponder about. I guess my announcement to get married had been more of a shock to him than his announcement was to me.

_A hell of a teenager._

That's what he had called me. I smiled at the memory.

When we entered the library, our footsteps echoed off the vast halls. My eyes must have been as wide as saucers. I was almost afraid to speak, as every whisper could probably be heard. Rustling papers and hushed voices were in the air. I could hear some people shushing others and telling them to keep it down.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Sanosuke scowling. Then, he seemed to spot someone because he waved and began to call out to the person, but I reached up and clamped his mouth shut. "Not here!" I hissed.

His eyes were wide with apprehension and he nodded meekly before I removed my hand. How easily could one forget the fact that he was in the library?

I began to follow him as he quickly jogged over to the person that he had waved to. To my greatest surprise, I saw that it was a friend of mine as well: Okita Soushi.

Okita had changed a lot since the last time I had seen him. It had been about 11 years since I had laid eyes on him. Firstly, he was taller and chubbier. Secondly, his black hair was cropped shorter than it had been before. Lastly, he wore glasses giving him a sophisticated look. Today he wore black slacks and a green turtle neck, making his head look bigger. Of course, I didn't say that aloud. Instead, I found myself grinning.

"Himura!" He cried, jumping to his feet. "Wow, it's been such a long time!" His hand went out to grasp mine and shake it.

Startled, my first instinct was to pull away, but I let him pump my arm up and down twice, relieved when he let go. He was grinning from ear to ear.

"How are things?" He demanded. "The last time we - "

A woman walked by, clearing her throat sternly. It caused us to look up. All around us were people with similar expressions, a few giving us dirty glances and the rest disdainfully shushing us. I felt my cheeks go red.

Okita quickly reached over and shut his book, tucking it under his arm. "I'll go sign this out." He told us. "Look around some and I'll meet with you at the entrance."

I nodded, and by the look on Sano's face, I could tell he didn't want to hang out with me. So I told him to go ahead with Okita and that I would be fine. If he was worried I'd get attacked in the library, there was a fat chance of that happening.

When I finally convinced him, I wandered up the wide winding staircase made of smooth maple wood. My fingers lightly traced the polished surface, as I slowly climbed each step. Once I reached the second floor, rows and rows of bookshelves greeted me. I headed down one aisle, my eyes searching the spines of each text, almost hungrily.

The Biology section was huge. I reached a section of interest: Nervous System. Just for me, as I was a sad case of a nervous wreck. Suddenly, the feeling of being alone was overwhelming, and I froze, wondering whether I should continue, or if I should turn and go back to where Sano and Okita were waiting.

_**(0-0-0-0-0)**_

"Afraid?" Yuki asked, cheerfully. The room was freezing cold because winter had hit once again.

I made a face. "No." I murmured, as she came around to drape a blanket on my shoulders. Darkness had just fallen, but I was already so exhausted. I welcomed the warmth that blanket brought, and smiled up at her gratefully.

Tucking a strand of her long black hair behind her ear, she sat down in front of me, folding her legs beneath her elegantly.

She was beautiful, my wife. I couldn't help but stare. Pale skin and dark ebony hair that was cut in layers graced her features. My eyes traced the features of her face, from her dark eyes to her small lips. I think I forgot how to breathe.

She met my gaze, curiously, two pink spots appearing on her cheeks, as she self-consciously pushed another stray strand into place. "Ken-?"

I leaned forward, pressing my lips to hers, in a gentle kiss, cutting her sentence off in the middle, not letting her finish. I guess I couldn't help myself. She was surprised, but made no effort to stop me. Suddenly, the room was not so cold……in fact, it was getting warmer. Gently, I pushed her to the ground, so that she lay under me with me sitting upBreaking the kiss, I stared down at her fondly, my finger tracing her facial features absently. "Fine, I am afraid….." I whispered, "but it's because if I go to Tokyo….I will have to leave you behind."

A lazy smile crossed her lips. "I will be fine."

I shook my head, my hair falling in loose strands as I did so. "That's not what I meant, Yuki…..I can't bear the thought of leaving you alone. I can't be that type of husband."

Her fingers curled on my upper arms, as she thought about that for a moment. Her eyes wandered for a bit, before she returned them to me. "Kenshin, we decided this a long time ago, remember…..that you would still go to school, even after we were married……."

"……Here in Kyoto." I persisted.

She stubbornly frowned. "But you have the opportunity to go to school in Tokyo! And your tuition fee is paid for – what more could you want?"

I grinned. "My wife by my side." She was right: The University of Tokyo had accepted me graciously and it was a chance of a lifetime. Yet, at the same time, I felt the weight of my responsibility on my shoulders. "It will be hard, you know….."

Now her eyes darkened. "I can be strong….." she whispered. "If you don't go, I will never forgive myself for keeping you from your dream."

Winking, I gave her a quick kiss. "You are my dream, Tomoe……"

At that she giggled, reaching up to wrap her hands around my neck. I don't think I could have gotten any happier than I already was. "You……always trying to play the hero….." She mumbled.

But that wasn't on my mind at the moment. That problem could be addressed in the following weeks, but I could hardly stand the thought of being so close to her….yet……

The room was now hot, a strange rush of adrenaline pumped through my nerves as she pulled me downward for another kiss.

As our lips brushed momentarily, my hands eagerly drawing her closer almost hungrily, a shrill wail echoed through our small apartment, calling our attention. We both looked up in the direction of our bedroom, where we had lain our year-old child down to sleep. Well, he would be a year old in a couple of weeks' time.

Disappointed, I watched as Yuki got up, pulling her haori closer to her body. She shot me an apologetic look. "Kenji's calling…." She whispered.

I nodded, picking up the blanket she had draped on my shoulders, but it had slipped off. The room suddenly got cold again.

**0-0-0-0-0**

Nobody was in this section of the library, so I was quite content to be there by myself. I guess it was just too early in the morning to be doing research. Either that, or they just found this section plain boring.

Some of the spine covers looked very familiar, while others were brand new, having the look that they had yet to be opened.

My finger went out to trace the name of one that I found interesting and I finally reached out to get it.

With it in my hands, I made my way to the window at the end of the row of books, to get a better glimpse of the book's title and contents.

The window was huge, allowing he sunlight to stream in. There was even a little ledge with a cushion that you could sit upon and start reading right there if you wished. A couple of paces away stood a desk that was facing the wall, a chair tucked neatly into it. No doubt for any researcher.

As I headed for it, I passed by a tray that held books that had been returned. I guess I wasn't really paying attention.

My elbow hit a stack of the books, ready and waiting to be arranged and put back into their normal places on their shelves. They fell with a clatter to the floor, the sound echoing through the quiet room.

Quickly, I bent down to pick them up again, chastising myself for being such a klutz. I had been so caught up in wanting to read that I hadn't looked where I was going. I stopped short when someone came up to me and started helping me pick up the books.

I glanced up, on instinct, to thank him. My blood froze and my eyes winded fully when I saw who it was.

"Y-you…..!"

"Really……you should be more careful." I almost didn't hear the person drawl that sentence out slowly.

……..

I knew I should have turned and run.

_-Japanese staple food is rice. It can be served with all meals. _

_-Ohanami – Sakura Tree viewing. _

**To Be Continued……..**

AN: WHAT THE HECKUS! I'm got hit majorly with a writer's block for this chapter, and for that, I apologize. But, I hope I made up with it in the last two scenes. I have nothing against Tomoe, so I wrote a little K/T scene. Next chapter: Kenshin is in for a double shock! Otanoshimini!

Please review, tell me what you think! (help me banish this writer's block!)


	17. Luck

IN THE END

By: Chiki Yumeshisa

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin…..all original characters/ideas are mine to claim. The song _Don't Stay_ is by Linkin Park and is also not mine. 

AN: Hi guys! This chapter is major. I would ask you to be gentle on the flames if I am to receive any. If you're ready for the rough ride, then please read on.

Buckle your seatbelts! And may the ride begin!

**Warnings: Rated R for swearing and a bit of violence.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 17**

**- Luck -**

_**Sometimes I, need to remember just to breathe  
Sometimes I, need you to stay away from me**_

I backed away a step, on feeling my blood run cold. My eyes had opened wide, and I could not believe what was happening. It had to be my damn luck…..it was never on my side! Just as Sano had predicted the other day, it brought trouble along with it and I could only stand there, helpless.

I guess it was my fault too…..I left myself open and vulnerable……

Kiyosato Akira grinned at me, his smile like that of a snake's; vile and full of contempt. I seemed to be paralyzed by his mere presence. He hadn't changed. He still had the head full of dark black hair and eyes that flashed a dark brown color. He was still taller than me and I could tell that he had managed to be successful in his career. His attitude still spoke of one that thought highly of himself. I could almost see the air crackling with the tension.

Slowly, he reached out to hand me a fallen book. His eyes never left mine. I could not tear my eyes away no matter how hard I wanted to. Fear and anger built up in my chest, and I had to remind myself to breathe.

"What do you want, Akira?" I asked, my voice surprisingly calm. I forced myself not to tremble. If he knew where I was…..maybe he had brought the others?

His smile widened, making me feel sick. His hand still stood suspended in the air, holding the book out to me.

"I'm just helping someone out." He told me, serenely. I wanted to gag, and I knew that I was glaring. "It's nice to see you again, Himura-san. It has been a while."

I snatched the book from his hand, angrily. Keeping it in check, because we were in a library, I hissed, "I'm sure it is," sarcastically.

Akira nodded, folding his hands in front of him, innocently. "I'm very glad to see you." He insisted. His glance was smoldering.

My anger was boiling. He knew I hated him – and I knew he hated me. All his talk was bullshit.

"I'm afraid it's not likewise." I told him, shoving the book he had given me into a random place on the shelf. I wasn't paying attention and hadn't bothered to see whether or not I had returned it in the right place. I don't think I would have cared even if I hadn't.

Clucking his tongue, Akira moved to pick up another book. "That's not very nice…seeing as how I welcome you back after so many years being apart. You could show some courtesy."

I wanted to hit him! I grit my teeth together so hard my gums started to hurt. What was even worse was that I had no idea what to say back to him…..

Then all of a sudden, he stepped forward. Blindly, I pushed back, my body reacting on its own. I did not want him to get any closer. My lungs seemed to squeeze out whatever breath they had left. The most miserable cold feeling washed over me, and I felt like I was drowning in freezing water.

Without warning, he shoved me back against the row of books, the shelf shuddering under the violent impact. It was not enough to bring the whole thing down, of course, but it was enough to make me gasp in surprise.

"You were safer when you ran away." He sneered. "You have quite the nerve coming back here. I warned you before, and I intend to carry out what I promised I would a long time ago."

"Don't fuck with me, Akira." I managed, but I must have sounded pathetic with the way my voice wheezed. I could hear my heart pulsating loudly, and I was certain he could feel it with the way his hands were still on my chest, keeping me in place, pinned between him and the bookshelf. I was losing control of myself and quickly, and I tried to reign my anger in, reminding myself that this was not the time or the place.

I think he was mighty brave to do that in the library. Unfortunately for me, we were all alone and no one was even remotely close to the biology section. I think it was a good thing too: I would not have wanted anyone to see me in my predicament.

His voice had lost all its sultry and was now serious and calm. He spoke in a whisper. "I'm dead serious, Himura – you know that. And I believe you know there is nothing you can do about it. Unless you try to run and hide again, which I know you will resort to doing like you always did."

He mocked me.

I snapped.

The world turned dark, as my muscles tensed and my anger raged. I had had enough!

Just as I was about to shove him off me and lunge, a hand clamped itself around my waist, pulling me away. With a snarl of anger, I turned around to knock the person out but it was Sano, who was glaring angrily over my shoulder at Akira who was standing there, smirking.

Struggling against his hold, I tried to lunge at him again, but Okita stepped between us, putting me at bay. His hand covered my mouth when I opened it to scream for them to let me go, the two of them telling me to calm down.

I watched through hot eyes as Akira turned and left, casually making his way out of the biology section. I gave up struggling against my friends – it was impossible. Sanosuke was too used to subduing me and with Okita there to help……I slumped back, feeling sulky, my body going limp.

Sanosuke was still glaring at the place where Akira had last turned. "Came just in time," he muttered, more to himself than to us. "I saw him enter the library and I just knew he was going to come to this section. I am sorry I couldn't prevent him roughing you up like that, Ken, but I had to wait for Okita here to finish with his overdue library card."

Okita grimaced and gave me an apologetic look, lifting his hand from over my mouth when he was certain I wouldn't do anything rash. Sanosuke righted me and stepped back, allowing me to gather my breath properly.

"We could have come sooner……" he started to say.

I smoothed out my shirt, a bit disgruntled at the way I was always being treated like some sort of rag doll thrown this way and that. Or maybe like some sort marionette, with people pulling my strings for me, making me walk and move the way they wanted me to. "It's fine." I muttered. "It's not your fault."

Sano looked most guilty. "I shouldn't have left." He insisted, as I began to head out from the section of books. All of a sudden, I was not eager to read anything.

I didn't say anything more on the topic because I just didn't feel like ruining my whole morning dwelling on the fact that I had been confronted by my worst enemy. I guess more than anything, I wanted to forget it ever happened.

Okita seemed anxious and he and Sano exchanged glances. So far for me, the trip to Kyoto hadn't been very eventful to my liking.

Almost as if he read my mind, Okita said, "Ah, Kenshin…I was talking with Sanosuke and I invited him to come over to the beach house I own to have a barbecue dinner. Of course, you are invited too, but……"

We exited the building and I turned around. "You own a beach house?" I asked, blinking.

He grinned. "It's right next to the water! Of course, I've invited a few friends, but now that you're in town, we can party tonight!"

My mood however, was not perked by the idea. "No….Akira's right…..I should just go back to Tokyo……" The idea of going to another party in the same week made me feel even worse. As I said before, parties and I just didn't mix.

Sano swore, yanking on a fistful of my hair to stop me in my tracks. I cried out in pain, and turned to shoot a death glare at him. He returned it, just as angrily. "To hell with what Akira said!" He almost shouted. Thankfully, we were out of the building, but I bet everyone inside the library could hear his cry. "I don't see why you can't have a good time with your friends and family."

Feeling drained from the morning's events, I shrugged, rubbing the back of my head that throbbed at the assaulted area. "Kyoto's not safe for me, or my son. If I stick around, everyone will be in danger."

"We'll be fine. We'll keep an eye out on you." Sanosuke said, not backing down. "It's about time you grew some balls and started to believe in yourself and others around you."

I think that was the most powerful thing I had ever heard Sano say in my life. I was shocked beyond words, and Okita couldn't stop himself from laughing. It was rather blunt, but he was right: I was too paranoid.

I sighed, defeated for the third time that day. "All right, all right," I grumbled, "I'll go to the party tonight."

When we reached the parking lot, Okita climbed into his Mercedes Benz after giving us his address, making us promise that we would come. Then, he gave us a hearty wave before pulling out.

It hit me then that I had forgotten to ask who else was coming.

**0-0-0-0-0**

It was nearing dusk when Sano and I arrived at Okita's house. His house was built of sturdy wood and brick, being two stories tall, with many windows, allowing everyone to see out over the lake from any room that they were in. Of course, it was kind of unnerving as the public could see what was going on inside. However, it stood off the floor from the ground, a stairway built leading up to the front entrance, pillars holding the house up off the brown-white sand.

Since it was the beach, I made sure to wear some sandals, because I positively hated the feel of grains of dirt or sand moving freely around in my shoes. It was chilly too, and the tide was out. When I looked out over the dark waters, I felt a sense of relaxation. I think I could have just sat down and stared over the horizon all day.

The soft wind made my red hair sway gently, the warmth of the sand tickling the bottoms of my feet. The air was fresh when I took a deep breath. It felt like the morning's events hadn't even happened.

I was broken out of my reverie when I heard Sano slam the door shut to the car behind me. In his hands he held a dish that my mother had made, insisting that we bring something to help with the celebration.

It seemed that we were early, because there were no other cars there yet, and as far as I could see, there didn't seem to be anything big happening at the Okita residence.

In the distance down the stretch, I could see some people walking around, most likely getting ready to leave or taking a small stroll. I wasn't willing to take any bets that anyone would be swimming in the water as it was most likely still freezing.

Sano signaled for me to go with him as he started up the steps. When we reached the door, I nearly got run over by a small girl, who crashed head long straight into me. She didn't seem to care, as she used my legs to hide behind, clutching at the material of my jeans with her small fists, her eyes wide, an anxious smile on her face. She peeked over to the side, hiding from someone.

In surprise, I turned my head to look at her. Her black hair was split into two pigtails at the top of her head, her eyes an earnest brown. She was giggling. Sano glanced at me, and I returned a helpless look. Then I heard more footsteps. Two other kids were running up the steps. When they appeared, I saw that they were two boys, about the ages of ten and eight. In their hands, they held water pistols and were aiming it at her.

It was then that the older boy realized she was hiding behind someone he did not know. His gun lowered a bit. He also had dark black hair and brown eyes. When he grinned, I could see that he was missing a tooth. "Who are you?" He demanded.

Kids always manage to say what they are thinking. I wondered how come Kenji seemed to have a problem doing that.

"We are friends of Okita Soushi." Sano told him.

The other boy sniffed. "Dad's inside." He informed me.

I almost fell over. _Dad?_ Okita was a father? Then again, the boys were a splitting image of him, the little girl holding some resemblance as well. I felt like an idiot: surely I was not the only person who had decided to get married. I couldn't help but gawk thought. Three kids…….wow…..

Sano didn't seem ruffled. "Could you tell him that we're here, please?" He asked.

So the boys took off, forgetting about their little game of chasing the girl. She looked up at me, finally, and then let go, backing away. Funny how it only registered to her now that I was a stranger.

Feeling totally uncomfortable, I smiled down at her awkwardly. "Um….hello." I even sounded stupid.

I wondered if she would burst into tears, but instead, she kicked at the floor with her pink sandaled foot. It had a big white flower as a design, matching her simple white dress. It was cold out, but I don't think she quite felt it. The dress had a few mud stains on it, but then again, she was a child after all, no more than five years of age.

"Daddy says I'm not allowed to talk to strangers." She announced.

I smiled at bit at that. "Your daddy's right." I told her. "You shouldn't talk to strangers. My name is Himura Kenshin. And this is my friend Sagara Sanosuke. What's yours?"

She smiled shyly, clasping her hands behind her back. "Okita Fusako."

"That's a nice name." I told her gently. "It's very nice to meet you Fusako-chan."  
She twisted her finger in the hem of her skirt, nervously. I guess she was painfully shy all of a sudden, because she couldn't even look up at me. She was saved from making another comment because at that moment, Okita's voice rang out in the air as he opened the front door, his two sons standing behind him. "Kenshin! Sano! You're both here already? Come on in!"

Sano gladly did so and I followed afterward, giving a backward glance over my shoulder at Fusako who still stood on the porch uncertainly. Okita noticed her too, because he stepped out, wearing a pair of house slippers. "Fusako? What's wrong?" He gathered her up into his arms and she turned to bury her face into the crook of his neck.

He smiled at us apologetically. "She tends to be like this." He informed us. "She'll start coming around." He led us into the house, letting us into his living room where we took a seat on his beige sofas.

His wife came in then, holding a tray with some cups of tea for each of us. Her name was Chiyako, a girl with dark hair and dark eyes, like her husband. She seemed shy too, because she merely nodded upon her introduction. The silent type, I suppose. The two boys were Hitoshi and Jun. They were a year apart, and Fusako was just four years old.

Leaning back on the couch, I put my hand up to my forehead, a bit overwhelmed. "Wow, you seem to have……settled down."

Okita winked, setting Fusako down on his lap. "Well, I decided to get married and raise my own family too." He suddenly grew serious. "I heard what happened to your wife by the way. I'm extremely sorry."

I felt like someone had dropped an anvil on my body at his words. Sanosuke quickly changed the topic, for which I was most grateful.

"Ah……Okita……I never imagined you to be a parent." He said, rather lamely. I could have cared less what he said so long as it took the focus off of my pain.

Okita blushed. "I didn't think so either…."

"It will be hard on you when they grow up." Sanosuke pointed out. He gave me a meaningful look. "What will you do if your daughter suddenly came home pregnant when she was only 18?"

I sat up straighter, scowling. "I proposed before she was that age, Sano!" I protested. "And we got married first!"

He ignored me all together. I growled beneath my breath, slumping back on the couch, my arms folded across my chest.

Okita hugged his daughter closer to him. "No way! I would not allow it! All the guys better beware!"

I couldn't help but chuckle. He was the typical father, ever protective of their little angels. Good luck to her, finding a boyfriend!

Before we could continue, the doorbell rang. The boys looked up and dashed off to see who it was. Chiyako went with them as well, like a silent shadow that followed them.

"How is Kenji-kun?" He asked me, suddenly.

I fidgeted with the sleeve to my sweater. "He's…..fine." I said. That was half-true. He wasn't exactly the greatest, but he wasn't getting any worse. He had stayed behind, refusing to come with us. I was fine with that.

Okita seemed worried. "That's good, because the last time I saw him, he was positively miserable." He looked like he was about to say more, but more visitors' voices rang out into the room, bringing our conversation to an abrupt end.

Greetings were exchanged at the door, and I got up, hesitantly. Sanosuke almost knocked me over, when a certain woman entered. She had long brown hair and dazzling green eyes. With the way Sano hugged her so fondly, I had no doubt that it was his fiancée.

He turned to me eagerly. "Ken! This is Magdaria!" He sounded like a little boy who had just been given a piece of candy.

Magdaria smiled slightly, a bit embarrassed. She gave me a small bow and Sanosuke began to introduce me. I was not even given a chance to formally greet her because at that moment, someone else entered the room.

"Oh my goodness! Is that Ken-san?" The voice cried out. I turned to find myself staring at a stern figure, dressed in purple and pink robes. Her long hair was let loose, falling about her face, shoulders and back in straight strands. Her thin lips were painted a pale red, but against her white skin, it looked dark. They were gaping in surprise.

All of a sudden, I felt really tired. "Hello, it's been a while, Megumi-san."

It was a joke we had had ever since adding honorifics to the end of each other's names even though we were so close, and I couldn't help but use it again.  
She strode over angrily, and I expected her to give me a good slap, but instead, she wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling me into a crushing hug. I stood stiffly, uncertain how to react. When she finally pulled away, she looked worried. Then her expression turned angry. "What do you mean by leaving us without a word?" She demanded. "All I could do was write you letters, in hopes that you received them: you didn't even reply to a single one!"

I knew that that was coming. I tried to conjure the excuses that I had made up before, but I couldn't for the life of me, remember them.

To make it worse, in walked Makimachi Misao, her steps light, almost as if she were floating on air. Her long black hair was plaited into a single braid that fell down her back. Her slim figure was caressed by a light spring dress, similar to that of Okita's daughter. Her blue-green eyes lit up when she saw me.

"Oh! Himura-san!" She seemed to bound over to me. "So good to see you again! How's Yuki?"

I smiled warily. "She's gone, you know that." I said.

Misao's smile grew bigger. "You haven't gone to her grave again?"

I shrugged. "I don't have the heart to." I admitted.

She had been Tomoe's best friend in high school, and had been very upset over her death. I would have thought that she would have blamed me, but instead, she was gracious, insisting that she was fine and that she had moved on. It was strange how Tomoe and Misao could be so different, and yet, get along just fine.

In a way, I was very envious of Misao. It was like her life was a book: after one incident happened, she merely turned the page and went on.

The person to arrive was Soujiro, an assistant doctor in the town's hospital. He was the second cousin of Okita's and one of Okita's only living relations. Thus, the two of them were really close.

I had met Soujiro a long time ago, and I had almost forgotten about him. When saw me, he stared at me very hard for a few minutes, before asking, "Have I met you before?"

I guess I had a better memory than he did. But I didn't get the chance to introduce myself because my eye caught sight of the person at the door, letting herself in.

_What is she doing here?_

A pair of black slacks and another bright blue sweater was what she wore. Her hair was up in its ponytail. Today, she looked exceptionally pretty. Maybe it was the way the moonlight hit her as she stepped inside. She froze for a moment, when she saw me, her mouth forming a little 'o'.

Then she smiled.

"Kaoru….what are you doing here?"

_**(0-0-0-0-0)**_

I sat down next to her bed, smoothing the white lab coat I wore out, almost nervously. Yuki lay covered in white sheets, her arms hanging limply by her sides. A few IVs were inserted into her, injecting medicine.

The window was open, letting fresh air in. The small bouquet of white flowers that I had given to her sat in a small vase on the sill, bringing a bit of life into the room.

The door was now closed, giving us privacy.

She seemed to be asleep, and not wanting to disturb her, I began to get to my feet again. But at my slight movement, her eyes opened slightly, the dark orbs sliding in my direction.

"Kenshin?"

I sat back down, my fingers reaching out to entangle themselves in her hair, but then stopped. There was no hair to entangle themselves into. I kept forgetting that.

What was once beautiful, long, luscious black hair was no more. She was now bald, and eyebrowless. Her face had gone even paler.

I wanted to cry.

She was being destroyed.

I forced myself not to though, as my fingers continued their way to her face, to caress her cheek. "How are you, love?"

"I'm fine." She said, her eyes now open fully and watching mine. She pressed her cheek into the warmth of my palm. "I look terrible, don't I?" She asked, brokenly.

"You look beautiful." I said honestly.

She smiled a bit at that. Then she asked. "It's not working, is it?"

My heart was now thumping hard. I had gotten no sleep the night before, burying myself in all the textbooks I could find, studying…..studying…… "I don't know yet." I said, somewhat lamely. "But I will find a way." There had to be a way.

Now her eyes filled with tears, and she pursed her chapped lips, stifling a sob. She weakly clutched at my lab coat, pulling me closer.

Heart aching, I leaned forward, letting her fist her hands in my hair and pull me down for a kiss.

"I'm going to die…." She said quietly.

I pulled away. "No, you're not going to die." I said stubbornly. "Just hang in there, Yuki."

Her eyes were wide and panicked. "I'm going to die…..and you will not remember me – Kenji will not remember me!" She said. "You will remarry – and forget about me…"

What strength she had was being spent on worry.

I felt a tear roll down my cheek, and I hugged her to me fiercely, horrified at her outburst. "What are you talking about, Yuki! I would never forget you. Don't talk like that – you'll be fine, you'll see! I won't ever forget you."

Her body felt so light, and I knew, my time was running out.

All I could do was cling to her and pray.

**0-0-0-0-0**

The moonlight hit the waves, making every ripple visible as it washed themselves onto shore. The temperature had dropped lower, as the night progressed, and the world seemed to hang still. It was both relaxing and frightening. That night though, it was relaxing.

Staying indoors became almost unbearable as everyone was laughing and joking and carrying on. I was just plain exhausted, and wanted to be alone. It was even worse when the drinks were distributed. I did not want to take in any alcohol, knowing full well how badly I reacted to the substance. So I was brooding……so what?

So I found myself by the water, overlooking it. The sand was still warm, and from where I stood, I could not hear the music or the ruckus from the house. Instead, I found a rock and tried to skip it across the waves. Once or twice it obliged me, and eventually, I gave up.

Wearily, I rubbed at my arms to try and keep warm, berating myself for forgetting my sweater in the house. Walking back and forth, I took off my sandals, kicking the sand around. Despite the fact that I was mentally fatigued, my thoughts kept going.

_You should lighten up a bit, Himura-san! You're always so cold and polite, so frigid and ritual. Have you ever thought of just letting go once in a while?_

Kaoru's words.

I sat down, watching the ocean. Letting go once in a while…..of course she would think of something like that. It puzzled me greatly why she was there too…..

"Kenshin?"

Speak of the devil.

When I turned around, there she was, her body seeming to glow under the moon's light. Around her figure, she had a blanket drawn close, her eyes a piercing blue as she stared down at me. I found myself entranced by them. "What are you doing here? It's so cold out." She said.

Blinking, I turned away from her, staring out over the water again. There went my peace and solitude. Suddenly, I felt something heavy and warm put around me: a blanket. She had thought to bring me one? I smiled up at her, gratefully, and she took a seat next to me.

We sat like that, for a long while, not saying a word, the silence surprisingly comforting. I was not surprised when Kaoru broke it. She had her arms wrapped around her knees, her toes wiggling in the soft sand.

"I'm sorry about what I said…."

I turned my eyes to her curiously, my lips pursed. We stared at each other for a few moments, and she seemed to be entranced. Then, she looked away, her cheeks a very slight tinge of pink.

"I implied all doctors are horrible." Kaoru explained, almost sullenly.

I never answered. Why bother? Instead, I sat up a bit, squatting down. Scooping up a handful of sand, I began to make a sandcastle: or rather, a very pathetic attempt at one.

"…….I didn't know….." She whispered.

My sandcastle was turning out to look like a giant ant hole that decided to tilt to the right. In a weird sort of way, it kind of reminded me of the Leaning Tower of Pisa. I tried to fix it up, the sand sliding underneath my fingernails. I didn't care.

Kaoru continued to watch me, and another silence took precedence. This time, it was me who broke the silence. "Yes….I was a doctor."

It was as if the world had been put on pause. Even the music and laughter coming from the house behind us seemed to have quieted. The oceans' waves were suddenly very loud in my ears.

My hands worked on their own, as I began to dig out a hole around my castle.

"I couldn't do anything for Yuki."

"Oh, Kenshin! It's not your fault."

"It is!" I said, almost angrily. My hands stopped their building almost instantly, and I turned to face her. "I left her: I knew I shouldn't have. I was selfish……I wasn't even there for my son. And then, the day that I was told…..a doctor saves people's lives. What kind of a doctor was I if I couldn't even save….."

I stopped myself, not wanting to talk about that. I had told myself countless of times that I had to stop reminding myself. That I had to leave it all in the past.

"Anyway……" I murmured. "It _was_ my fault. I wanted to marry her even though my father and mother insisted that I finish school first…..but I didn't listen."

Breathlessly, Kaoru asked, "When……?"

"We got married when we were teenagers." I continued, my hands working again. I had no idea why I was telling her all of this. "I was only 19, and she had just turned 17. I'd always wanted to have a family of my own….but I couldn't even take care of them. I ended up going to school in Tokyo: and that's where I've stayed ever since." A queer pressure on my chest lifted as I spoke, and even though my recounting brought back horrible memories, I found it easier to continue. "I brought her to live with me when I found out about her condition. She died in Tokyo."

My sand castle crumbled at my last words, as my hands fisted. "I just can't forgive myself…..I just wish……I could have stopped it…."

Kaoru tossed her hair back over her shoulder. "Would you just listen to yourself? I can't believe you are doing this to yourself – no one in the world would have been able to save her, Kenshin. So get over it!"

Her snap made me face her, in shock. Here was a girl who had only known me for a while……and yet…… I was both amazed and hurt. Hurt because her words rang true…..and amazed because she had the strength and courage to say it so bluntly.

"She died knowing you loved her," Kaoru said, evenly, "knowing that you cared enough about them that you would work so hard to become a doctor and support them. Don't you think she died hoping that you would move on?"

Those words were like a bullet to my chest.

"I can't stand seeing you like this, Kenshin!" Kaoru's eyes filled with tears.

"Why….why are you saying these things?" I asked, feeling numb.

Kaoru gazed at me for a long moment, before she shrugged. "I……I think…….I think it's because…..I've fallen in love with you."

Stunned, I could only stare.

* * *

_- The joke Megumi and Kenshin have had was that they add –san to each other's first names, even if they are really close friends._

_- Thus the reason why Kenshin can't bring himself to move forward…._

_- For those of you still wondering, Tomoe died of cancer._

* * *

**To Be Continued……..**

AN: Darn, another cliff hanger. Sorry, it wasn't intended that way, but the story wrote itself. I guess the next chapter will explain some things that may have left you hanging this chapter. Sorry for the choppiness.

Please leave me a review! Tell me if you liked….


	18. The Mind Of A Woman

**IN THE END **

**By: Chiki Yumeshisa **

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin…all original characters/ideas are mine to claim.

AN: Hi guys! I'm so glad you liked the last chapter! Next week, I have my midterms. Everyone please pray. This will determine whether I can continue my courses. Anyway, this chapter was pretty hard for me to write. I hope you guys like it.

_Warnings:_ Be warned. I don't know why, but I am mentally exhausted and I tried my best when I wrote this chapter. A bit of angst ahead. Also, in my opinion, the ugly writer's block…

* * *

CHAPTER 18

**- The Mind of A Woman -**

"…..Kaoru-san….."

She got up, grains of sand falling from her blanket as she did so. I craned my neck upward to watch her as she did so. I think my mouth still hung open, and I had to struggle to put it back in its original place. I had no idea what to say or do. What _was_ one to do in a situation like this?

Her words were sudden and unexpected. I don't know if I was making the proper facial expression. The world consisted of nothing except for her and me at that moment as we stared at each other. Conflicting emotions –I felt like my life was an endless spiral making me dizzy and confused. Would it never end?

Kaoru self-consciously tugged her blanket around herself some more. "It's getting cold." She announced. "We'd better get inside."

Still, neither of us moved. I was still stunned: why did she switch the topic?

A part of me was angry. How dare she! She had no compassion….she didn't know the pain…..the endless thoughts….and she just toyed with my emotions…..

The other half was relieved. Somehow, I had known all along that she had feelings for me, but being the insensitive jerk that I was, I had merely blown it off as a child's crush. Who was I to speak though? I had been one foolish child back then……I was grateful for her consideration in letting me think about her announcement.

Kaoru bent down and offered me her hand, to help me up. I looked at that for a few moments, before actually taking it. The instant we touched, a thought crossed my mind: what would Kenji think of all this? I doubt he would be very pleased to find out that Kaoru had just openly confessed her feelings for me. Come to think of it, he hadn't been very happy with her the night before.

Which reminded me….

She helped me up and I managed to dust some sand off my pants and blanket, removing my sandals from my feet. It made no difference: they were already covered in the grains. We began to walk slowly back to the house.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Kaoru looking at me. She was deep in her thoughts, a worried look etched on her face. I turned to face her.

"Why didn't you tell me about Kenji's test?" I asked.

She seemed flustered. "Kenji's test?" She repeated. She thought about it for a second before she nodded. "Oh, the one he passed. I didn't get the chance to…..and I would have thought that you were keeping an eye on his studies."

Chagrined, I forced myself to calm down. Somehow, her words had made me upset. Wasn't it her responsibility to tell me these things?

As if she read my mind, she said quietly, "You know, I can't be telling you everything Kenji does. You have been apart from him for such a long time according to what you just told me. Don't you think it's only proper that you try to get to know your son a little better?"

She was right of course. I found I couldn't look up at her, in my embarrassment. I gave her a pained smile. "I told you I was a bad father…"

"No. You aren't." She said.

It was so simple and plain, yet so effective. I remembered her saying the same thing to me in the restaurant a long time ago. I felt like a fool.

"You've got to have more confidence in yourself." She was saying, as we reached the bottom of the stairs leading up to Okita's beach house. It was still noisy inside, but it had quieted down a little, as it was almost midnight. They had turned the music down and I could see the shadows of the people inside moving. "I'm sorry I never told you – I had so many things on my mind….." She trailed off for a moment, as we climbed the stairs.

She was right! The whole dinner night, my anxiousness over the trip to Kyoto, and my encounter with Akira had really taken up a lot of my energy. Not to mention the newest detail on my list.

We reached the door to the house where Kaoru turned to face me, her face still had the etched look of worry. "I had to think about my feelings for you. And how to tell you……." She said. "Please think about them, Kenshin. If I upset you, I'm sorry."

And here I thought she had dropped the subject all together. Finally, I just nodded, not knowing what else to do. "All right, Kaoru-san…..I-I've also got a lot on my mind…."

"I'm sure you do." She whispered, before slipping into the house.

I sighed, and followed her in.

_**(0-0-0-0-0)**_

The apartment we lived in was small, as our budget could only go so far. It had a small kitchen, dining room and washroom. Of course, we hadn't wanted to go and intrude on our parents, even though they had offered that we live with them. I wanted to show them that we could make it though.

Yuki came from a well-off family and was not used to her surroundings, but she had been the one to choose the place after falling in love with it. I didn't understand women and their taste in choosing. Of course, whatever made Yuki happy was fine by me.

It felt like home though when I returned to it after a long day of school. It was a pleasure for me to see her face every time I walked in through the door.

She had been the one to decorate the place too. I didn't care, as she didn't go overboard. She was just as nit picky as I was about being clean and orderly so we got along just fine.

We had our problems though – especially lately, as she was pregnant and had her sudden mood swings. A couple of times, when our argument got so fierce, I wanted to get up and leave. But then she would break down crying and I would feel terrible. It was not her fault that she felt that way.

I came home that day, the feeling of dread in my stomach. We had had a heated argument the night before and I had left early that morning, not wanting to speak with her. And then, we had argued on the telephone and she had hung up on me. Thus, I dreaded coming home, but I had to.

I was afraid that another full blown argument would take place. I hated yelling at her. I hated it when she yelled at me. I always felt at fault even though I wasn't.

Taking a deep breath, I put my hand on the door knob, knowing that she would be mad. She had been so upset that I hadn't come home on time the other day and I had been upset because I _had_ told her I would be coming home late. Everything got nasty from there.

Opening the door, I slid my shoes off, lining them against the wall neatly. "I'm home." I called.

No answer.

"Yuki?"  
No answer.

Worried, I called her name out again. I threw my jacket on the tatami carelessly, as I ran to the kitchen to see if she was there. She wasn't. Now the feeling of dread in my stomach twisted accusingly up at me. Surely something had happened!

"Yuki?!" I crashed into the bedroom noisily, the sliding door making a soft thump as I pushed it open hastily.

The room was dimly lit as the blinds were pulled closed over the window and the lights were off.

She sat up out of bed, clutching the covers to her in alarm. "Kenshin?!" She cried, blinking tiredly up at me.

I forced my thumping heart to calm down. "Oh God, Yuki!" I fell next to the bed, my hands reaching out to her face, as if to feel if she was real. "I thought something happened to you!"

Her eyes softened at that comment, and she brought her hand up to cover my hand that was on her cheek. "I'm fine……I'm sorry I worried you. I was tired so I fell asleep." She looked down. "I felt miserable for hanging up on you. And…I'm sorry."

I felt the heavy feeling in my chest lift. I smiled. "I'm sorry too." I admitted. I was sorry that I always had to leave her and that I couldn't give her every desire she wanted.

She made a face. "I've been in pain all day, but I just couldn't tell you……" She said.

"Why? What's wrong? Is it the baby?"

She was already past her due date, and we were waiting for the day she would have to give birth.

She nodded. "I think so." She lay back with a low moan, draping her arm across her big belly. "It wants to come out."

I started to get panicky. You know, the shaking feeling where your fingers and body start quivering. Isn't that strange…..and I wasn't even the one that was pregnant. Still, I had no idea what to do. I was still studying to become a doctor, and I was not yet confident in myself.

The number one rule was never to panic.

But guess what?

I was panicking!

She let out another cry, sitting up, wincing. I tried my best not to wince too. Sweat had already started to bead on my forehead.

Trying to make her as comfortable as possible, I lay her back down, easing the weight off her back. She took deep gulps of air, as she watched me. "We're going to the hospital now!" I cried. I began to pack some extra clothing and whatever else I deemed necessary to bring. I can't even remember what I put in, because it was all just a blur. She let out another cry that sent my spine tingling.

"Are you sure it's not a false alarm?" I demanded, struggling with the zipper that just had to get stuck on me.

She shook her head, panting. Her dark eyes were squeezed tight with pain. "I...it hurts, Kenshin!" She cried.

I bent over her anxiously, taking her hand. "Everything's going to be all right, Yuki." I said. I winced slightly as she grasped my hand in a crushing grip. "We've got to get you to the hospital.

There was a problem though: we had no car, and Dad lived a little distance away. Even if he were to drive us, what if Yuki went into labor in his car? I doubted Dad knew anything about delivering babies. It was safest to call for an ambulance.

My hands were shaking so badly I could hardly punch the numbers in properly. I was so nervous. With the way Yuki was crying out, it was as if she was dying. I felt totally helpless. I didn't even realize that someone had answered the other line and was speaking.

"How can I help you?" The person was asking.

"Hello?" My voice was shaking too. "Hello?! I need help!"

It was a lady on the other end of the phone. "Sir? How can we be of assistance?" She asked, her voice turning urgent at my shout.

"A baby is on its way!" I nearly screamed into the receiver. "We need an ambulance, please!"

"Calm down, sir." The woman said. "Is this the first born?"

Confused and upset, I glared at the telephone. "NO! This is her husband!"

The woman on the other line chuckled. Great, now she was laughing at me too. "No, sir, I meant, is this your wife's first time having a baby?"

"YES!" I cried, feeling my cheeks heat in embarrassment at my stupidity. "Please…."

"We'll send an ambulance right away." She said, and quickly took down the details before hanging up.

I collapsed to my knees by Tomoe's side again. "Help is on the way." I told her. "Just hang on."

"Don't leave me…." She whispered.

"I won't." I promised.

I always stayed by her.

Until the very end.

**0-0-0-0-0**

We were seated, everyone facing each other. Sano and Magdaria had passed out on the love seat together, sleeping. I sat with Fusako-chan in my lap, in the bachelor's chair, while the rest squeezed together on the couch or chairs.

Okita carried a sleeping Jun while Megumi and he had a serious conversation about something that had happened in the hospital. Hitoshi sat beside his mother watching us tiredly.

Soujiro and Kaoru sat side by side, talking quietly beside themselves. Finally, Misao leaned forward in her seat, throwing her braid over her shoulders. "Seta-san, don't be rude: introduce me to your friend."

Soujiro grinned. "This is Kamiya Kaoru, my sister Vivi's best friend. Since Vivi is going to have her baby very soon, she came down to Kyoto to visit. I didn't want to leave Kamiya-san all alone so I brought her here."

As he was speaking, my mind flashed back to that picture I had seen in Kaoru's china cabinet the day I had gone to her house. I remembered meeting Soujiro's sister once – that had been the girl in the photo. That was her name: _Vivi_.

Fusako whined sleepily and popped her thumb in her mouth, trying her best to curl up on my lap. I leaned back some to help her get more comfortable. Kaoru saw this and smiled.

_I don't think you are a bad father, Himura-san._

That's how I ended up blushing all over again.

I watched numbly as they began to talk again. I didn't feel up to saying anything. Luckily for me, they hadn't questioned me extensively. I had slipped out before that could happen. Now everyone was either just too tired or drunk to care. I was drained too, and I wanted to go home and sleep.

I think I did fall asleep, because the next thing I knew, I felt someone shaking my shoulder gently. "It's time to go." The voice said.

I screwed up my face, trying to make heads or tails of what the person meant. I did not want to go anywhere, or do anything. I wanted to stay alone in the solitude, where no one was bugging me, where no one was hurting me…….

"It's time to go." The voice said again.

I groaned in protest, as the darkness started to fade away and I opened my eyes weakly, blinking at my surroundings. Kaoru stood over me, her black locks tumbling around me like a curtain. When she saw that I had come to, she smiled slightly.

My body protested as I became more alert and sat up straighter. I had fallen asleep sitting, and I brought my hand up to ease the crick in my neck that had formed from the irregular position my head had been in.

Outside was darker than it had been before, a few rain drops splashing the windows as it drizzled. Megumi and Misao had left, but everyone else was still there. Magdaria was awake now, gently trying to wake her fiancé.

She gave me an apologetic look. "He drank too much – I don't think he'd be in any condition to drive you home."

Okita frowned. "Oh, Sano overdid it again. I'll rub it in his face that I beat him fair and square this time!"

I scowled. Trust those two to have a contest at who could hold their drinks down. I had a quaint feeling that Okita had cheated, because I knew Sanosuke could manage his alcohol level really well. But this was just amazing: now I was stuck there until Sanosuke could become sober again.

For a while, I never spoke. When I glanced at my watch it was nearing 2 am. Wow, we had been there for quite some time. I had not been planning to stay for very long.

"I could drive you….." Kaoru offered, quietly.

I glanced up at her, almost as if I had noticed her standing there for the first time. I guess it was human instinct to avoid someone you didn't want to talk to. I still did not know how to respond to Kaoru's feelings, so I tried my best to make myself invisible in her eyes, and it didn't seem to be working.

But there seemed to be no other choice: I didn't want to disturb Okita any longer than I already had. His wife and children were probably asleep already too because they were not in the room any more.

Soujiro agreed for me though, so it looked like I didn't have a say anyway. It seemed that he was eager to be off too, as he kept checking his cell phone anxiously. I had to remind myself that his sister was pregnant and might have to go through labor any time now.

It hadn't been a very pretty picture for me back then, when Yuki had had Kenji, so I could understand the importance of a girl having someone by her side when she gave birth.

Kaoru was staring at me, an expression on her face I had never seen before. She looked a mixture of furious and terribly sad. She was trying her best to mask her emotions but it wasn't working. If anyone was a mastermind at hiding their feelings, it would have to be me. When I caught her eye, she took a step back.

"Soujiro…..I'll drive in Sano's car and follow you." She took the proffered car keys from Magdaria's hand before I could say anything. Between the five of us, we struggled to lift Sano's limp body off the couch and toward the front door. He may have been tall and thin, but he wasn't light.

Okita saw us to the door, offering to help, but we refused it, thanking him for the food and for the time. He smiled warmly and welcomed us back. "Kenshin….take care."

I nodded, taking note of his worried tone. "I hope I didn't overstay my welcome."

He laughed. "You know where I am if you need me. And you have my number, so give me a call. It's been great seeing you again."

I smiled, tiredly. "Yeah…."

He waved a little and we hurriedly went down the steps as fast as we could, and piled into Sano's car, Soujiro slipping into his own. Kaoru took the seat behind the wheel, turning the ignition.

Magdaria had managed to shove Sanosuke over a little, sitting beside him, letting his head rest on her shoulder. There was no other place for me to sit: except next to Kaoru.

I would have preferred standing in the drizzle and getting soaked at that moment. She looked up at me expectantly as I hesitated by the door, chastising myself for being such a wimp. Now was not the time – everyone was tired and it was really late. Sighing inwardly, I forced myself to move and sit down in the passenger seat. How I wished I had my own car!

We pulled out of the beach, the wind shield wipers clearing away the rain as it fell. The only sounds were the car's engine and the occasional snoring coming from Sano behind us. When I turned to look back, I saw Magdaria had fallen asleep again. That left only me and Kaoru……

Great!

The atmosphere was so tense suddenly. I wanted something – anything – to help relieve it. We sat in silence for such a long time, I could hardly stand it. I was bursting to get out of the car. I take this…..

"I'm selfish…." Kaoru said suddenly. My eyes snapped to her, wide and round. _What…..?_

My heart skipped a beat when I saw a tear fall down her face. For some reason, I felt at fault. I did not want her to cry. "Kaoru-san…."

"I'm sorry, Kenshin!" She said, gulping back a sob. As she did so, she hiccupped slightly. "I must be such a fool……of course you still love Yuki-san! You must think of her all the time – and yet I had to put these feelings on you……please, don't hate me….."

A few more drops of tears fell from her face, rolling off her chin and dripping into her lap. She didn't bother to push them away, and she struggled to keep her focus on the road. This was bad. If she started crying now, we could get into an accident.

I didn't understand her. I would never understand her. But…I wanted to understand her. The desire to was almost overwhelming. I leaned back in my seat, a smile crossing my lips. What a strange mix of emotions. "Don't cry." I said. "I don't hate you. I can't hate you for telling me what you feel. It's not your fault."

In surprise, she glanced at me momentarily, her eyes still brimming with tears, before she quickly turned her attention to the road.

I looked out the window, at the lane beside me that no car had occupied. The pavement was a blur, as we sped by. I put my arms behind my head. "I try not to think about Yuki." I murmured. "And you're right, I still love her. They say love never fades away."

We passed by the ocean then. It was still calm, despite the wind and rain. A small mist had begun to form by it, making it seem almost mystical. The tension in the car seemed to ease as I looked out over the waters again that day. I don't think I'd ever forget that day. It would forever be etched into my memory. _The day on the beach….._

My eyes lingered on the water again, before it passed by and disappeared out of sight. "But…I'm tired, Kaoru….."

She made a small sound with her throat, in question. I never looked at her, my eyes still trained to the scenes outside the window. "I'm tired of crying…..I'm tired of remembering……"

"Kenshin……"

I remembered the dream I had had.

I had been walking all alone in the darkness, with no way out. And then…she had been there to guide me. It was so vivid all of a sudden.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Kaoru smile a bit.

The tears had stopped falling.

**0-0-0-0-0**

The car came to a stop right outside my father's house. By that time, Sanosuke was up and awake, bidding his fiancé good night as I thanked Kaoru for the ride. She climbed out of the car, handing the keys back to my friend.

Both her and Magdaria made the way to Soujiro's car that was waiting for them. Sanosuke still could not believe that Kaoru had been the one to drive his 'baby' all the way back to town.

Before Kaoru could slip into the car, I called out to her.

She stopped. "Yes?"  
"Uh….." Sano's eyes were on me now and I blushed a bright pink. "I wanted to thank you again….."

She smiled. "It was my pleasure."

I felt Sano give me a hard elbow to the ribs. I grunted and glared at him for a second before turning to Kaoru again. "…..and I guess I'll see you around."

That was not what I had been meaning to say. What exactly I had wanted to say, I had no clue. Feeling confused, I followed a chuckling Sano into the house.

By this point of time, it had stopped raining, and thus spared us from being drenched through and through. The house was quiet, but since that was the case, I knew my parents weren't asleep yet. My clue: Dad was not snoring.

I was right of course: they were waiting for us in the living room. As if she had known we were going to walk in at that exact moment, Mom had made tea for us; hot and ready to drink.

"So she's here too, boy?" My dad asked. He was sitting on the couch in the corner of the room, curled up and staring analytically at a small vase he held in his hand. The clock over his head was not moving as it should have been. The batteries in it must have died out and no one noticed. I always hated that clock. It was a cat whose tail moved in rhythm with the seconds, and whose eyes would slide back and forth. When the hour struck, it would let out an annoying purr and a hiss. I decided that I would not say anything.

I plopped myself down on a cushion that lay on the floor, crossing my legs in front of me, letting the hot cup of tea warm my hands up. Sano wearily took a seat on a cushion too, next to me. He drank from his cup greedily.

"I didn't ask her to come." I announced. "She's here for another purpose."

Sano set his cup down with a small bang. It made me jump and we all turned our attention to him. "Why do you have to keep denying it, Kenshin?" He growled.

I looked down at the tea cup in my hands. The pale green liquid swirled almost lazily. "I am not denying anything." I told him defensively. "It's just…..I need a little more time. It's so hard….. "

Mom seemed to understand, because she reached over and squeezed my arm comfortingly. Dad didn't say a word, still staring at whatever it was that he was holding. I didn't want to hear a lecture, so I got up. "I'm tired; I'm going to bed."

I left my tea on the floor, unfinished.

When I walked into the bedroom, Kenji was already sleeping. His hair was let out, fanning his pillow in long dark strands. His breathing was even, and he had thrown his blankets and pillows around, not knowing he did so. So, I bent down to pick them up, pulling the blanket around him carefully, trying not to wake him up.

I froze when I saw a tear fall down his cheek. "I'm sorry…." He whispered.

"Kenji?"

I wondered what it could possibly be that he was dreaming about. Did he have haunting dreams as well, that left him drained and depressed when he woke up? Did he have dreams that left him guilty, or hung over him as a shadow as a constant reminder of the past?

As I finished tucking the sheets around his body, my hand hit something and it fell to the floor. Luckily, the tatami prevented it from being too noisy so my son did not wake. When I picked it up, I saw that it was his Biology text book again.

My stomach did a little flip when I saw a certain heading that was marked off: _Cancer Cells_. I almost dropped the book again. Why did the past always come back?!

Closing it hastily, I dropped it into Kenji's bag, which he still had not taken the time to empty out yet.

My hair was full of sand and dust, but I was just so tired. I wanted nothing more than to sleep, and I knew that I would not get a restful one. I couldn't help but think something really stupid: maybe Kenji had been right, trying to commit suicide. Surely it would have been a much easier escape from all the pain……

A crumpled piece of paper rolled into my hands as I stuffed them into the pocket of my sweatshirt. If there was one thing that irritated me, it was doing the laundry and then finding out that I had left something important in the clothes' pockets. What annoyed me even more was when Kenji got careless and left things like pens in his pockets, ruining some clothes for good.

Curiously, I unwrapped the ball of paper. A number was scrawled on the page, in quick writing. I wondered who it could have possibly come from: it was not my writing. It was vaguely familiar though.

_To the parents of Himura Kenji……_

That's where the writing had come from! Kaoru's scraggly writing flashed back to mind. A certain scene at the hospital came to mind again too. I think I had been too dazed to realize that she had pressed the paper into my hand.

I stared at the page for a moment, wondering what I should do with it. I was not the type to keep things I did not need. I did not think I would ever call her, but something made me fold the paper neatly and put it in my wallet.

Maybe……

Maybe there would be a need for it later.

All of a sudden, my head spun sickeningly. My fingers trembled as I slowly pulled off the sweater, letting it fall to the floor in a crumpled heap. My knees buckled as I stumbled over to the bed, too tired to pull off the rest of my clothing, too disoriented to change into my bed clothing. I don't remember turning off the lights, or lying down…..

**0-0-0-0-0**

I think I had a bad case of anemia, as I had gone to bed so late, but I woke up so early. It was like I was drugged or something…all I knew was, I could not fall back to sleep, no matter how much I tossed or turned.

Outside, the sun hadn't even begun to rise. When I glanced at my watch, I saw that it was only 5:52 am. How absolutely wonderful! I had gotten no more than 3 hours of sleep, apparently. I had half the mind to knock myself out, but I thought to spare myself the pain.

So I lay awake, staring at the ceiling.

The events from the night before came back to me, as much as I didn't want to think. Unfortunately for me, I couldn't fall back asleep again, no matter how hard I tried to. Outside had begun to thunderstorm, the lightning flashing across the window pane. It was like the heavens themselves were crying.

It felt like an eternity before I heard someone wake up and start walking around. Still, I did not move, feeling too tired to do so. It was a couple of minutes later that I heard my father cursing up a storm – the power had died due to the storm outside.

Kenji got out of bed a little while afterwards. He gave me a bleary-eyed look, before leaving the room. Sighing, I pulled myself out of bed too…..another long day was ahead.

Dad and mom had to run to the store for some business, Kenji had gone to a friend's house, and Sano announced that he was heading back to Tokyo. I wanted nothing more than to jump into the car with him and return too.

He drank down a glass of orange juice, using his hip to close the refrigerator door. "Will you be okay here alone?" He asked, worriedly.

I glared. "I'll be just fine, Sano." I growled. A headache had started to form and felt like it was spreading, embracing my brain in its smarting evil. I was staring at a bowl of cereal, which had long since been sitting there. The small cheerios were now soggy and probably tasted awful. I just didn't feel like eating either.

Sano seemed anxious. Well, of course he would: I had already encountered Akira once. Promised threats…..those were never good. He crumpled the juice box in his fist, before turning and throwing it in the trash. "I guess you'll be okay," he said, more as if to reassure himself than to reassure me. "Your parents will be back soon. I doubt anyone would try anything to you in Hiko Seijuuro's home."

I began to feel sulky again at his sentence. I just wished he would hurry up and leave. When he did, it was just me in the big house, alone in the dark. The power had not yet come on, and as the hours dragged by, the sky only turned darker outside. It was kind of scary. I was so weary; my nerves were shot. At every shadow, I found myself jumping. Then I berated myself for being so stupid – nothing was there.

A bit ticked off, I wandered in the darkness, trying to find a flashlight. When I found one, it was out of batteries. Now really pissed, I wandered the house looking for a candle that was able to be lit. Leave it to women to want to save their pretty candles and not use them. What was with that? Candles were meant to be used not displayed! I would never understand the way they thought.

Just as I made it to the living room, the front door to the house burst open, hitting the wall with a resounding slam that seemed to echo in the darkness. By this time, my eyes were accustomed to the dim lighting, so I ran toward the source of the sound.

_Dad? _He would never slam the door like that though. Or was it….an intruder…? All of a sudden, I didn't want to find out.

In the doorway was a silhouetted figure. It slumped forward a bit, letting out a small moan. It was Kenji.

I ran to him, as he looked like he was about to fall, ready to catch him in case he did.

He turned his face to me, and I felt myself grow cold. Blood was smeared all over it, and down the front of his shirt too. I couldn't tell where it was coming from."Kenji!" I cried, taking his shoulders as he fell forward some more. "Kenji! What happened to you?!"

His dark eyes were filled with tears, a couple streaking down his already tear-stained face. "I….can't…." he whispered.

"Kenji! What…who did this?" I demanded.

He murmured something before fainting, a pool of blood slowly forming under him.

_Oh dear god….no…._

_Not again._

**To Be Continued……**

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AN: Please review…if there are to be any flames, please let them be constructive. I'm sorry if I seem so withdrawn, my mind is on studying. (sighs) I'm so happy to get reviews from all of you. Please leave me one again! Tell me what you think!

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	19. To Save A Life

IN THE END  
By: Chiki Yumeshisa

Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin…..all original ideas/characters are mine to claim. Linkin Park's song _Numb_ is not mine either.

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AN: I'm sorry for the LONG delay in an update…can I ever be forgiven, I wonder? Ugh, I have no excuses other than the fact that I'm lazy and I didn't want to search for the story…but it's back, so please enjoy!

**Warnings: Rated PG13 for all the nitpickers and the scenes of blood. No flames please as you have been warned.**

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**CHAPTER 19**

**- To Save A Life -**

_I've become so numb…._

My hands were shaking, as I lifted his head. One eye was badly bruised and could hardly stay open. In the darkness, one would not have been able to tell the strands of his hair apart from the dark blood that was running down his face.

Outside, thunder crashed and lightning lit the sky. For a brief moment, I was able to see Kenji's face clearly. He had a nasty wound on his forehead and his arms were badly injured. I was a little discouraged to see that, as I had just finished nursing his stitched wound back to health.

He was wearing a black t-shirt and because of that, I was unable to see where the blood was coming from.

This was bad: the lights were out, and I was all alone. Even if I hollered for help, no one would hear me – the thunder would have drowned out my calls, not to mention that the rain would have kept everyone off the streets.

I prayed that the phone lines were working, or else I was in major trouble. I had no cell phone of my own any more, as I had cancelled it a while ago. Dad said he didn't believe in cell phones either, as it only served to bring more bills to pay. I guess he had a point. There was no use in calling Sano on the phone, as he was probably back in Tokyo by that time.

Checking Kenji's pulse to make sure that it was still okay, I gently laid him down. I would have to stop the blood flow, but I had to get help first. Luckily for me, the phones were working and I quickly called the police, before I called Dad up at the store.

"_I'm sorry we can't come to the phone right now, but please leave us your name and a detailed message and we'll get back to you as soon as possible!" _It was my mother's cheerful voice, recorded into the answering machine. I swore, and slammed the phone back onto its cradle. Great, they weren't around. A sense of panic ran through me. I felt like I could not move….like something had wrapped itself around my legs, preventing me from moving, preventing me from thinking.

I glanced down at Kenji, who was sprawled on the floor. His chest rose and fell with labored breathing. If this continued, he would lose a lot of blood and would not make it.

No.

_No!_

I would not let this happen again. I couldn't let this happen to me again. If Kenji died, I would never forgive myself. I don't think I could keep living. I was scared shitless though. All of a sudden, Kaoru's name burned itself into my thoughts. The idea hit me suddenly.

Grabbing my wallet out of my back pocket, I whipped out the phone number that I had safely stored there the night before. Was I ever thankful that I hadn't thrown it out! Reading the numbers in the dim lighting was difficult, but I used what I could work with, and managed to punch them in the keypad.

She answered on the fourth ring, just as I had been about to hang up. "Hello?" I asked, uncertainly.

"Kenshin?" She asked, her tone one that was of surprise.

Relief washed through me. "Kaoru-san, I need your help."

Now she sounded confused. "Sure, Kenshin…what's wrong?"

"It's Kenji." I said, quickly. Distantly, I could hear the sound of wailing sirens start arriving. The police sure were fast. Perhaps a couple had been in the district. "Listen, if you could, would you meet me at the hospital?"

"Hospital?" She repeated. "What happened?"  
I could now see the flashing lights from the vehicles as they approached the house. A lot of explaining would have to be done.

"Just meet me there." I said, urgently. "Please."

Kaoru's voice was reassuring. "Okay, I will…but…"

"Soujiro should be able to tell you where to go." I announced, before quickly putting the phone down. I had no time to waste on the telephone.

I made my way toward Kenji again, falling to my knees next to him. His eyes were closed now, his breathing shallow. As gently as I could, I pulled the t-shirt he was wearing up and over his head, to see where the source of the blood flow was.

My experience as a doctor helped me to differentiate the different types of wounds. There was no mistaking these ones. To my horror, his torso was lined with multiple stab wounds, each deep….but how deep I was unsure. I just prayed that they had missed his vital organs. Luckily, his heart had been missed, almost as if it had been avoided all together.

There were a lot of shouts, as cars parked by my front lawn. A few minutes later, an ambulance and fire truck joined the fray, and footsteps by the dozen pounded down the driveway and up the main steps leading into the house.

To my numb mind, everything was a blur. The three hours of sleep were beginning to wear off and my exhaustion was starting to get the better of me. It took me a while to realize that a police officer was talking to me, and even longer for me to realize that I was still kneeling in Kenji's blood.

I felt an arm under mine, coaxing me to my feet. I rose reluctantly, not trusting my balance. Ahead of me, a few paramedics held a stretcher on which Kenji was quickly placed on.

The arm was pushing me forward, and I stumbled, trying to keep up. I think I was in a state of denial; of disbelief. Why did this always happen to me?

"It's going to be all right." A woman was saying to me. I felt her cold hands on my cheeks, as she forced me to look at her. She looked anxious when I never responded. Something in the back of my mind kicked in, making me snap back into reality.

I blinked, my focus coming back with startlingly clear vision. We were in a bright car. An ambulance. This was not my first time riding in one, but I guess I would never get used to being in one. Kenji lay motionless on the stretcher, surrounded by at least four paramedics, who were trying their best to stem the flowing of his blood.

_It's going to be all right._ That's what the woman had said.

"Multiple stab wounds: four on his torso, one on his back." I heard myself say. "Is he in grave danger?" From where I was sitting, I could not see the wounds, and my legs refused to stand again.

"If we don't stop his bleeding, he will be." The paramedic said, sounding a bit surprised at my calm and authoritative voice.

"From what I observed, his kidneys were not punctured." I said anxiously. "But I couldn't see anything more…."

The paramedic nodded. "What happened to him?" He asked, tilting Kenji's head back a little, to allow air to flow more easily through his nasal passages and his throat.

I gave him a helpless shrug. "He just came in like that; I expect he was attacked." _But by whom_…..I could only think of one person, and my blood ran cold at the mere thought. Promised threats….as I said before, those were not good things.

Still, Kenji was known for getting himself into small brawls, and with the record that he held, he would probably be blamed for it. Even if it was Akira, I doubt that Kenji could prove it – the bastard was sly and cunning like a fox.

_A living hell._

The words echoed in my mind, hauntingly.

I knew we should have stayed in Tokyo.

If it was Akira, the coward should have gone straight for me, instead of my family members. Now I was worried about Dad and Mom – even though I shouldn't have been. Dad was very capable of taking care of the both of them even in his old age.

The ambulance sped down the street, its sirens piercing the silence of the afternoon. It was barely even dusk yet and it was pitch dark outside. There were fewer cars out, as it was not safe to drive during a thunderstorm. Trust Kenji to get himself in trouble on a day like this!

Around me, the paramedics moved, taking charge of the situation at hand as best they could. Again, the world faded away into a blur for me, as terms I was very familiar with flew back and forth in front of me. I could barely grasp one, as I was so tired. My legs were stiff, as if I had been kneeling on them for hours on end. I realized that part of the reason was because of the dried blood crusting on my jeans.

I had not gotten a good night's rest in weeks, and my body just couldn't take it any more. The insomnia and panic were just too much and I tried to stop the world from spinning and stop myself from getting sick, but I couldn't help it. Everything seemed to shift with alarming speed, and I fell over, to the side, unable to keep myself upright any longer.

Then I heard shouts.

Life was wonderful.

**0-0-0-0-0**

I awoke with a start, feeling as though I had been drowning and I couldn't breathe. The dream I had been having had been so real….faces of the people I did not care to see again seemed to be mocking me, their grins and sneers so vivid.

The room felt colder than usual, and I realized it was because I was dressed down in hospital garb, the bloodstained-clothing gone, and I had been stuffed into something different. The blankets that had been pushed around me had fallen in a crumpled heap in my lap as I sat up.

Beside me, someone jumped up.

Kaoru.

"Oh thank goodness!" She cried, rushing to my side. "You're awake."

I winced, as a dull throbbing pain shot across my head. I rubbed at it dolefully, trying to ease it away. "I……what happened?" I asked. Even my voice sounded slurred.

"You passed out on the ambulance." Kaoru informed me.  
Ambulance?

For a moment, I didn't understand what she was talking about. Then, the events that took place most recently came back.

Kenji!

I grabbed her arm. "Where is he?" I demanded.

Her blue eyes were wide and she took a step back, having not expected my reaction. "He was taken straight to the ER." She explained.

"How long have I been asleep?" I asked, throwing the covers off me completely and swinging my legs up and over the side of the bed. Again, a bout of dizziness caught me, and I blinked to clear my vision. Kaoru's hand came out to steady me as I began to tilt over again.

I hated when I felt so weak. Of course, it couldn't be helped, as I was still running low on sleep. Kaoru's hand rested on my shoulder, lingering there for a little while just to make sure that I was balanced, before retracting. I gave her a small smile in return.

Her answer came as she settled back down into the chair she had originally been sitting in. To her side, stood a little tank of water, a stack of paper cups on a small table next to it. "You've been asleep for about thirty minutes."

Figured.

"I came here as fast as I could." She continued. "I got here about 10 minutes ago. I was worried when I heard that both you and Kenji were admitted. Since your son was taken away, I came to find you." Her eyes darkened with worry. "What happened?"

I sighed, feeling like I had lived too long. My hair was loose and fell about my shoulders, the ribbon having been taken out and put to the side. My fingers found it, and I wearily tugged my hair into a loose ponytail. I did not care if it was messy. "Kenji came home….stabbed." I explained, reluctantly.

"Stabbed?!" She cried.

A grumble came from somewhere in the room, and it was then that I realized we were not the only ones present. Apparently, I was sharing the room with two others, the curtain beside me separating the first man, and there was a bed beside that man. It must have been a ward for those people who were going to be sent home soon.

Getting the hint, Kaoru lowered her voice. "Stabbed?!" She repeated, incredulously.

Nodding, I fingered the blue garb of the hospital pants I wore. They were too big on me, as always, since I was short for a man of my age. Children's sizes would definitely not fit, so I was stuck in between. I could tell: the pants' hems went past my feet. "I don't know what happened," I said

_I never knew what happened._

"I knew I shouldn't have come back here."

Kaoru frowned. "Well, if you knew something like this was bound to happen, then you should have stayed in Tokyo!" Then she paused, coming around to stand in front of me. "Kenshin…..did you know that someone was out to get you here?"

I chewed on my bottom lip.

Remember those movies that you watched when you were little? With a bowl of popcorn on your lap, you nestled between your parents as a horror film played. Then, you would get so scared you'd have to cover your eyes when something horrible happened – and at night, you'd be terrified of sleeping, afraid that whatever was in the movie would come out and get you while you slept.

Or when a bully at school would push you around and warn you that he would beat you up if you got anywhere near his proximity, so you steered clear of the area as much as you could?

I think that's what I felt. Even though Kyoto was a beautiful place that held many wonderful memories, I had somehow made enemies that I wanted to avoid at all costs. I was afraid of course, but my pride would not let me choke it up.

She was crossing her arms. _Uh oh….._

"Himura Kenshin! Your son just got stabbed! If you could have prevented this…" She stopped herself, and I struggled to keep calm. I put on the most unreadable expression I could conjure, trying not to believe what I was hearing.

Hadn't it been Kaoru who had told me the other night that it wasn't my fault? That I shouldn't blame myself? I had even begun to start trusting her. All of a sudden, I wasn't quite sure if the decision in calling her had been a good one.

Then she did something I did not expect. Her arms reached out and snaked behind my neck, pulling me toward her. I sat in her embrace, shocked. She held me, tight, as if she didn't want to let me go. I didn't know what to think, or do, so I stayed still.

In all honesty, her hug was welcome. Warm and inviting. My cheek was pressed up to her stomach, and from there, I could hear her heartbeat. "Kaoru……san……"

"I'm sorry, Kenshn." She told me, her grip around me tightening slightly. "I didn't mean to accuse you: I was just so worried. I didn't mean for it to sound like it was your fault."  
Sighing, I closed my eyes. There she went again, getting all confusing on me. I guess I had never really learned how to understand women. Now that I think about it, Yuki had been pretty unpredictable some times too.

"I'm sorry….." She whispered.

"It's okay." I said, lifting my head finally. "You're right: in this, I could have prevented it. I just honestly didn't think that he would go so far…..anyway, I want to see my son." Self-consciously, I pulled away from her warmth, forcing myself to look up at her.

I realized then how her blue eyes watched me intently, a look of worry in them. I didn't want her to be anxious, so I smiled reassuringly and to my relief, she returned it. For some weird reason, all our conversations had to end so strangely. Today wasn't any different.

She smoothed her hands down her shirt and looked toward the door as a doctor came in. He looked surprised to see me up and he nodded curtly, looking down at the file in his hands. He must have been older than me by a few years, his face looking very tired. "Himura-san, I was just going to check on you." He said, when he glanced back up. "How are you feeling?"

"Dizzy." I responded, truthfully. I knew it was never safe to lie about medical conditions. "And very tired."

He nodded, checking my file again. "If you'd like, you may rest some more."

I shook my head, the action making me feel even more dizzy. "How is my son? Is he okay?"

The doctor's eyes slid up to meet mine. "I'm afraid that he's not doing very well. In fact, he's in critical condition: but surely you would have known…..he was stabbed five times."

I felt a pit of dread crawl into my stomach. "Can I go see him?" I demanded.

He shook his head. "Not right now, I'm afraid. Why don't you take the chance to rest a little more?" Now he sounded sympathetic. Perhaps, he too had a family. But, Kenji was all I had – and I didn't want to lose him.

He moved on in the room, talking to the man who was behind the curtain that served as a partition next to my bed. My hands fisted themselves in the white material of the bed I sat upon.

Kaoru's hand touched my arm gently. "Ne, Kenshin….why don't you lie down for a while?" She suggested. She held up a paper cup to me, offering me something to drink.

I glanced at it for a moment, before taking it. My hands had begun to shake. Whether from exhaustion or just plain fear, I did not know. I thanked her, easing my dry throat with the cool liquid.

"I can't rest." I told her, impatiently, after I swallowed. "Not when I know that Kenji is in cr….." My eyes blurred and my vision dimmed. My speech seemed to slur too, and I tried again, "Critical……con…di…." I trailed off, between a hiccup and a lack of awareness.

_What was going on?_

"I'll wake you if anything happens." Kaoru was saying. I was vaguely aware of her hand on my arm.

My hands began to shake and grow numb. My vision went in and out of focus, and to my dismay, I dropped the cup, the rest of its contents spilling on the floor, as I swayed.

"Kaoru……what did you……?"

I felt her ease me back down onto the pillows.

"I'll wake you……." I heard her say, before I blacked out again for the second time that day.

I was afraid that when I woke up, Kenji would no longer be there.

_**(0-0-0-0-0)**_

"My name is Kain." A man was saying, extending his hand to me. He had such light blond hair and it fell up to his chin, in fine, straight strands, framing his handsome face. He had dark blue eyes that seemed jovial. If I was not mistaken, he was probably very popular with the girls.

"I'm…Himura Kenshin." I offered, warily, flicking my bangs out of the way. I cautiously shook his hand, wondering why his name sounded very cropped.

He smiled gently. "It's nice to meet you. I have heard you are an exceptional student."

I glanced away in embarrassment. All eyes in the class were staring at me. Okita's eyes were big and round. He looked pale. Even the teacher had stopped teaching. "Uh…"

Kain continued, "I'll be your supervisor from now on, if you don't mind, Kenshin."

And he began by calling me by my first name. I found it more than strange: what was this guy talking about? I was well aware of the fact that we had just only met and that I had never met this guy before. At least, I don't think I had……

Feeling like the frog in the case in front of me, with the way he was staring at me, I slowly put down my scalpel, the frog in the case jumping slightly when I did so. It blinked those watery reddish eyes up at me, as if pleading with me to let it go free. I stared down at it for a few moments, trying to gather my bearing.

Before I could speak, my cell phone rang, making everyone in the room flinch. Quickly, I pulled the phone out of my pocket and answered it. Even Kain seemed interested, for he too, was listening intently on what I had to say.

It was Yuki. Her name flashed merrily on the screen. I thought I had given her my school schedule……

"Not now, Yuki." I said, as quietly as I could. I might as well have screamed the words out – the room was dead silent.

"Kenji is running a fever that's too high." My wife protested on the other line. "I've got to bring him to the hospital: I don't know what to do!"

Infants were relatively quick in getting sick, as their immune systems weren't developed against the viruses that swept around during cold periods. "I called your father but all I could get was the answering machine. Kenshin, please come home, quick!"

"I'm in the middle of class, Yuki." I told her. "And…" my eyes swept the class sheepishly, meeting my professor's stern gaze. I flushed. "And Sano isn't here." He had decided to skip all classes for the day, and head down to the arcade to watch some competition. Usually, Sano would drive me home, as he had a car, but since he wasn't there……

Yuki sounded upset. "Okay. Fine. I'll just go there by taxi. Or should I call an ambulance?"

"Is his condition that bad?" I asked, as the class began whispering to each other quietly.

"Himura! You are interrupting my lecture!" Houjo-san called from the front. I felt my face heat some more.

"Just meet me in the hospital." Yuki told me quickly.

"I'll be there." I promised. "Give me half an hour." And without bothering to say goodbye, I hung up.

Kain was still looking down at me, as I pocketed the phone, self-consciously. "I'm sorry about that." I said quietly.

He nodded, and the professor gave me an impatient look, before rapping the chalk board for attention.

Kain seemed unruffled by this, as he casually leaned forward, keeping his voice low. "If you have any questions, Kenshin, feel free to call me." He handed me his business card, in the traditional way. I accepted it in the same manner. He seemed so professional: who _was _he?

Stupidly, I merely nodded. Then I turned to Okita quickly. "I have got to go." I told him. "I've got to get to the hospital. Yuki and Kenji are going to be there and I have to catch the bus. Will you take notes for me?"

Okita nodded quickly, as I snatched up my coat and flung it on over my lab coat, ignoring the class as I hurried toward the exit, pushing my way out of the laboratory. Behind me, Kain was close on my heels.

"Kenshin, wait!" He called.

I slowed my pace, in order to let him catch up to me. I guess I had been rude, and I felt awful. I turned to face him.

"If you need a lift, I can bring you." He offered.

I blinked. He motioned me forward, and gratefully, I followed him. "We can talk on our way there." He announced. "May I ask though, why you are to go to the hospital?"

"My wife called." I responded. "Our son is sick……."

Now it was his turn to blink. He didn't make a comment about it though, just merely continued his way to his car.

I followed him to his BMW and slid into the passenger seat, the leather a bit cold. I guess it didn't hit me that I had followed a complete stranger and had willingly gotten into his car with him. I guess I had just wanted to get out of the cold as fast as possible.

It was not winter. In fact, it was nearing summer, but the temperature just dropped suddenly, leaving a biting chill in the air. For Yuki, that was a bad thing, as she was prone to getting sick when the weather changed drastically. In fact, she always got sick easily, and I always teased her about having the worst immune system in the world.

But it always made me worried when she fell ill. And now I was doubly worried: Kenji wasn't feeling well. Perhaps he had inherited that from her.

I had just finished buckling myself into my seat when Kain spoke. "I'm sorry for interrupting you in class today." He said.

What was I supposed to say to that? I decided it was best to keep quiet. He didn't seem to mind, as he continued the conversation. "When I heard about you, I just had to meet you."

Warily, I glanced at him from the corner of my eye. "And what exactly have you heard about me…?" I asked.

He began to back out of the parking lot, a couple of students looking after his car as he did so. I wondered if they were interested in it, or the occupants. "You mean, you haven't heard that you're the brightest student in your University?" He demanded.

I glanced down at my hands, both of which were nestled neatly in my lap. I had known I was doing well in my classes, but nothing like what he was saying. When I never responded, he chortled.

"You're a natural ace, Kenshin!" He practically sang. "A true genius."

Now I wondered if he was making it all up. "I wouldn't go that far." I said mildly. "Are you looking for a study group….or……?"

Kain shook his head, fine strands flying. "I'm not a student." He said, making me feel like a complete idiot. Not that I would have known: many people in my class were three times my age and still in a first year course. He didn't seem to care for my blunder. "I am a representative. Which is what I wanted to talk to you about…."  
He braked so hard suddenly, I almost went flying out of my seat. I couldn't help but gasp.

"I am looking for the best. And Kenshin – that would be you."

Only one thing crossed my mind: _why was he addressing me by first name basis?_

**0-0-0-0-0**

Six hours later, I awoke to someone shoving at my shoulder lightly. I sat up with a start, blinking away the fog of sleep that seemed to lift slowly from my brain. My rested body protested and demanded more, and I winced as I rolled my shoulder back with a yawn. The knots in my muscles were stubborn, and I could have used a good massage.

Beside me, the partitioning curtain was open, revealing that the middle bed stood empty of a patient. The man in the last bed stared at me from across the room. Through the closed window, I could see that the rain was still falling strong, and the sky was still pitch dark.

"Kenshin – they say you're allowed to visit Kenji now." Kaoru whispered. "Are you up for it?"

What kind of a question was that? Of course I was up to it! Ignoring my sore limbs, I jumped down from the bed, my bare feet touching the cold floor. I didn't care. Kaoru followed me as I stumbled into the hallway.

I felt her take my arm and pull me toward where Kenji was being held. He lay on a bed that was similar to the one I had had and was covered with the white sheets up to his chin. His red hair was matted to his forehead, and it looked like the nurses had tried to clean him up of his blood, going so far as to rinse his hair out.

His eyes were closed, an oxygen mask around his mouth and nose.

He looked terrible.

"The doctors say that they aren't sure he will survive." Kaoru informed me. I pretended I didn't hear that, as I pushed past her and into his room.

Of course, he didn't wake up as I did so, and I hastily pulled a chair to sit next to his bed, taking his clammy hand in mine. "Kenji," I said in a quiet voice, "I'm right here. I won't leave until you open your eyes."

They say that a patient's subconscious mind can always register what people are saying to them. Thus, I didn't feel like a total fool speaking to a non-responsive boy. "Please, don't give up." I begged.

Kaoru stood in the doorway, watching, her arms wrapped around her middle, not wanting to intrude. In this, she must have known that she wouldn't be of any assistance. Thus, she watched as I leaned back in the chair, determined to do as I said.

I couldn't lose him too. Even though he might not have believed me if I said that, it was the truth. I made up my mind: as soon as we could, we were going back to Tokyo.

In a short moment, I slumped forward, my exhaustion getting the better of me again, and, with my head on Kenji's sheets, fell into a shallow sleep that was plagued with nightmares.

They consisted of myself, watching helplessly, as my wife died – and then, the scene repeated itself; only this time, it held Kenji as he died, and me not being able to do anything but watch.

In the shadows around me, laughter filtered into the air, and I screamed, one silent word that would never be heard.

_NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!_

* * *

_Japanese business cards are called "meishi". The proper way to give them is by giving it face up to the person holding it with two hands. The proper way to receive it is to take it from the person using two hands._

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**To Be Continued……..**

AN: Uh….I apologize again. I hadn't meant to update so late I welcome reviews though, and I'm so thankful to those that bugged me by leaving some (and emailing me). They really help. Until the next update!


	20. Arrest!

**In The End**

**By: Chiki Yumeshisa**

_Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin...all original ideas/characters are mine to claim though.

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_

AN: Finally found the file! w00t! I hope you guys aren't too mad at me for the late post. Here it is, then, sorry to have kept you waiting...

**Warnings: Rated R for some swearing. You have been warned. No flames please.**

* * *

**Chapter 20**

**- Arrest!? -**

"Dad….?"

The murmured voice, barely above a whisper, snapped me out of my shallow sleep. There was a pressure behind my eyes; a slight pain. It had developed because of my lack of sleep and every time I did get sleep, I would always end up cutting it in two. My body was not very pleased with me, and it let me know by allowing the pain to run rampant.

My neck was sore too, for sleeping in a strange position. It was nearing four in the morning according to the watch that I wore on my wrist. That meant that I had received about another good hour or two of sleep.

Kenji's eyes were open a crack, sliding over to look at me. Ignoring the nausea that washed over me, I sat up straighter. "Kenji! Are you all right?" I asked, leaning forward. I kept my voice down when I saw Kaoru curled up in a chair in the corner, fast asleep. She looked worn out too.

And no wonder: she had come all the way from Tokyo too, and had probably not gotten any rest since she had arrived. I did not know whether Vivi had had her child or not, but I felt awful for loading my burdens on her shoulders.

My son blinked twice, as if the words I said did not make sense at first. I was about to repeat myself, but he sighed a little and nodded slightly. "I feel….so heavy…." He murmured.

"It's the drugs they gave you," I informed him, "to ease the pain." His eyes were closing again. I wanted him to stay awake longer, just so I could talk to him, but he was soon asleep again, his breathing a bit easier than before. It made my spirits lift: he was going to be okay. It looked like he could be stubborn like me when he felt like it. This time around, I was grateful for it.

I did a check on his wounds and charts before getting up. His vital organs were functioning better than they had been a couple of hours before. He must have had someone checking on him hourly because his improvements were being monitored. I was not happy to see that he had a long way to go before he would be better, but at least he was alive.

My stomach growled up at me. By this time, I did not know what I wanted more – sleep or food. Since I knew I would not be able to fall asleep again that quickly, I decided on the latter.

As I got to the door, Kaoru's eyes opened. Her hair was a tousled mess, the rims of her eyes red, and her face pale. It was the first time I had ever seen her disoriented, with the way her clothes were disheveled and her actions uncertain. She sat up, with a little grunt. "How come….?"

"I'm hungry." I said. "I'm going out to grab something to eat. Would you like anything?"

She swiped a hand over her face, as if to banish her fatigue and said, "I'll go with you."  
"You should rest." I insisted. "You're tired too."

A strange look passed through her eyes but then she broke into a gentle grin. "I'm fine – thanks for worrying about me." She stretched a little, before hopping off the chair, rubbing at her eyes with the back of a fist.

The hallway was quiet, as most patients were probably sleeping already. A few nurses and doctors could be seen now and again, a few shooting us questioning glances. My stomach rumbled at me again, and I couldn't help but think about how rude it sounded.

Kaoru heard it because she giggled softly. Before she could make a comment though, her stomach made a weird noise too, and this time, it was my turn to laugh. "It seems like you're hungry too." I said smugly.

She swat my arm playfully and I found myself chuckling at her chagrin. Then, she put her arm through mine, as she had done when we had been partners that night of the teachers' outing. Normally, I would have flinched away, but now, I was confused: how was I supposed to act?  
If I voiced my discomfort, she would get offended and probably think I hated her. If I suggested that I didn't care; then she'd get the wrong the wrong idea. So I decided to say nothing, but I ended up shifting my weight a bit.

Being perceptive, Kaoru looked up, tugging at my arm. "If I'm doing something you'd rather I not do, please let me know." She began to withdraw. "I know you're still thinking about what I said….."

"It's all right." I said quickly. "I'm just surprised that's all. In fact," I trailed off a little, feeling my known blush creep up on me. "I don't really mind….."

At those words, her grip tightened, and she flashed me a wide smile. "It's not uncommon for friends to hold arms." She pointed out, as if to soothe my worry. We walked past a man in a wheelchair, who looked lost and miserable. An IV was attached to his arm, his feet clad in fuzzy bedroom slippers. He looked at us briefly, giving us a pitiful look, before glancing away.

I could not picture myself helpless like that, old and sickly. I knew it would come, but the mere thought of it made me uneasy. I wondered if there was anyone who took care of him – if he had family he could depend on. If he had family that came to visit him or if he was simply left to rot alone.

I felt Kaoru tug at my arm, making me turn my attention away from him. We reached the elevator but since we were only on the second floor, we decided to take the stairs.

The main cafeteria stood at the other end of the building, the smaller cafes on the main floor were closed down for the night. Usually, one or two would have been opened, but I guess the hospital was trying to cut down on their energy reserves, especially now that they had to resort to them in the storm. How disastrous would it be if they ran out of power? Machines would shut down and patients' lives would be a stake – including my son's.

Thankfully, the cafeteria was open. If it hadn't been, I would have had to settle with munching away on pretzels and chips from one of the vending machines.

It was not a huge place, but it did have a few rows of tables and chairs. Four people were there, dressed in hospital garb like mine. Kaoru seemed out of place – but then again, visiting hours had been over and done with hours ago. I guess she got special permission to stay.

She chose a ham sandwich while I took longer to find myself something light but sanitary. I wasn't too keen on getting pre-wrapped meals that _heaven-only-knew-when_ they were made. I settled with a bowl of soup and bread that was made for me by the woman who was working there.

Tray in hand, I made my way to the table where Kaoru had comfortably settled herself, tucking one leg under her as she munched away on her sandwich.

I dunked my slice of bread into the soup and took a small nibble. Not bad – it was better than what was served to patients that was for sure. I guess I didn't much care as I was starving. We ate in silence for a while, this being the third time we ate together by ourselves.

Not that I kept count, of course.

"I wanted to thank you," I said, when Kaoru glanced up and caught my eye. "You always put up with me."

Kaoru grinned. "I have to admit that I was surprised: I didn't know you still had my number. When Kenji tried to…..well, you know…….back then…..I waited for your call but I didn't get one. I honestly didn't think you'd kept it."

I decided not to tell her that my original plan was to get rid of it. Whatever float her boat.

I put down the spoon I was holding that I had been absently swirling around in my soup. "I really appreciate it though," I said sincerely, "I hope you didn't go out of your way."

She shook her head, taking a big bite of her sandwich. The lettuce crunched, as if to let us know that it was still fresh. She chewed for a while and made sure to swallow before she spoke again. "Vivi had her baby this morning; a beautiful little girl." She gushed. "She looks just like her mother."

And I was right it seemed: Kaoru had not gotten much sleep the night before either. What a way to go! Now I felt even guiltier. But witnessing a birth was the most wonderful feeling in the world – and it was amazing too. The thought alone perked my spirits. "That's wonderful." I murmured, drinking my soup and making sure not to slurp. "Please tell her congratulations from me."

Kaoru clasped her hands together, a bit dramatically. "I wish I could have a baby of my own someday." She said airily. "I couldn't help but feel a bit envious."

A small smile tugged at my lips. "It's not easy being a parent." I pointed out. "And it's even harder when you're a single parent."

She tilted her head a bit to the side. "It must have been so difficult – I mean, you were so young when Kenji was born."

Ah, panic…..

I had done that a lot when Kenji was born. I don't know, but women seem to be able to cope with situations they've never experienced before. Even though she had never had a baby before, Yuki always seemed to know exactly what to do, and come to the every need of the child.

Then there were the times where I would get so fed up. After a long day of school, studying and a part time job, being woken up by Kenji's wailing at three in the morning was not exactly fun. In fact, it was so annoying. I remember being so frustrated, and having blood red eyes the next day in class from lack of sleep.

I stared at my reflection on the spoon I held in front of me. Those memories seemed too long ago.

If Kaoru was about to say something at that moment, I never found out, because all of a sudden, the doors to the cafeteria flew open with a bang, startling everyone inside. I couldn't help but turn to see what was going on. In the doorway walked about five policemen, dressed in their dark uniforms. They scanned the place momentarily, before moving toward us.

Glancing at Kaoru, who gave me a '_what's-going-on_' look, I shrugged. I think my heart missed a beat when the police stopped around us.

"Himura-san?" They demanded of me.

Wide-eyed, I nodded. What could the police want from me?

"You are under arrest."

_Arrest?!_

I felt myself get dragged to my feet, meaty hands burying themselves

in my hospital garb, yanking me upward. I complied, not wanting the leverage

to be so cruel. In my weakened state, I was not up to being shoved around.

The feeling of panic swept through me, and Kaoru stared at me with round questioning eyes.

"Kenshin?"

These people thought I had stabbed Kenji. They thought I had tried to murder my son. That same look was on Kaoru's face, and she turned pale.

I didn't want her thinking that. I didn't want her to believe that.

As my hands were pulled roughly behind my back, I struggled. Why would I be arrested for something I didn't do? My resistance was futile though, weak, and I knew that I would be pushed to the floor easily to be cuffed, but I didn't care. I stumbled forward. I didn't want her to look at me like that.

"It wasn't me!" I cried, feeling the cold metal touch my skin. I flinched away from it, but I felt it clamp over one wrist. I struggled some more, and restraining hands were on my shoulders. "Kaoru! You have to believe me!" I cried.

"Kenshin!" She was standing up now, her bread forgotten, falling to the table unnoticed.

"It wasn't me!" I cried again. "Kaoru!"

My hands were now safely secured behind my back and my panic was starting to get the best of me. I normally could keep my cool, but not when I was being ridiculously accused.

Feet stumbling as I was pulled backward, I fought down my panic. If it increased, they would think I had something to do with it after all. My heart hammered against my chest at the thought of being locked away, without anyone ever hearing the truth.

At that moment, the doors opened again, with a swish, and in walked my father, looking positively murderous. His long black hair was swept up into a ponytail and trailed after him as he stormed over.

"What is the meaning of this?!" He demanded, his baritone voice like a thundering boom. I saw the police flinch, and I must confess that I was happy they did so. I stood limp in their grasp and watched to see what would happen.

"We are taking this man under custody," one policeman had the courtesy to explain. "He has been accused of trying to murder his son."

Dad's eyes seemed to bulge out of his head in his incredulity. "_What?!_" His shout made them all back up a step. If I wasn't detained and in such a position, I would have smirked or burst out laughing. "What kind of idiotic idea is that?" The air seemed to crackle with his anger. Now do you see why I never wanted to make dad angry? "Let him go now, and we'll have no problems."

"His explanations will be before a judge in court." One officer said firmly. I had to give him credit: even I wouldn't be so bold as to argue with my dad – I would have folded at the first shout. "Now, please step out of our way."

I felt their hands tighten around my arms, and I shot my father a look. Dad seemed to be twice his height and build as he glowered at them. "Who were the witnesses?!"

Yes, he was right – there had been no witnesses. Then….."Who?!" I cried out wildly. "Who accused me!?"

"You have the right to remain silent." One police officer grunted, as I struggled against him once again.

Bullshit.

_Bullshit!_

"He didn't do it!" Kaoru cried, "Just let him go!"

Those words made me feel so much better. But I knew that I would not be released just by her words alone. Still, the feeling that she did not think of me as a suspect made it so much easier on me. She could testify for me….I hated courts.

Kenji! He had been the only one present. He had to be the one to clear me!

Kenji had to speak for me…….

But knowing him…..

_Oh dear God……._

_**(0-0-0-0-0)**_

My hands were shaking as I fumbled with the keys, almost like I was drunk and too disoriented to figure out which key was the right one. I dropped them in my haste, and I bent over to pick them up again, feeling absolutely frustrated. I heard the click as the right key turned in the lock, after what felt like an eternity, and I quickly entered.

I still had my lab coat donned, as I had not had the chance to take it off.

My ID flapped crazily as I jogged to my bedroom and rummaged through the closet.

_Think Kenshin!_ I chided myself. I panicked too quickly for my own good. I had to calm down and breathe, but I just couldn't. After all, there was no time…..

Triumphantly, I pulled out a duffel bag – the same one I always used when I went back to Kyoto. It had been almost half a year and I hadn't seen Yuki or Kenji. My return trip this time was urgent.

Cancer……

How and when, I had no idea. The main question was why. Why did it have to happen to Yuki? Why did this have to happen to me?

In went two jeans, two shirts, some underwear and socks. A sweater went in too, just in case, and lastly my wallet. Usually, I would have thrown in some snacks as well, but today, my mind was not on that. Even though I had not eaten all day, I was not hungry. My appetite was zilch and the thought of eating made me sick to my stomach.

I quickly made my way to my apartment's door and slipped out, securely locking it before turning and waiting for the elevator.

"Afternoon, Dr. Himura!" A voice called out cheerily as I swept by. His name was Tarou-kun, one of my very first patients. He had gotten into a car accident and had suffered minor injuries to his head. Fortunately for him, he was still alive – unfortunately, his parents weren't. Despite his great loss, I admired the way he always held his head up high and had that smile on his face.

"Afternoon, Tarou-kun!" I called back.

He paused outside his door, his cat in his arms. "Did you just get off from work?" He asked, tilting his head to the side.

"I've got to leave town." I explained, as I heard the little bell chime, letting me know that the elevator had arrived. The steel doors slid open. "I got an emergency phone call."  
Tarou pet the cat on the head. "Safe trip then." He said, smiling brightly.

I nodded absently and shuffled in. An old lady was there with her husband. I felt a feeling of dread wash over me. "Good afternoon, Dr. Himura!" She greeted warmly.

It seemed everyone in the building knew me now. "Ah…..good afternoon." I replied, ruffling the collar to my t-shirt uncomfortably. Not that I didn't like them, in fact, they were a really nice couple. The only problem was, that they liked to coo over me and it made me blush like crazy.

Luckily, they got off at the very next floor, so they had no more to say but that, and I was saved from turning into a tomato again.

I glanced at my cell phone when I jumped into my car and pushed the keys in. It was a second hand Toyota model. Unlike Sano, I didn't care much for cars. They were sort of just a method of getting to and from places in a more convenient manner.

There was no new messages, and I was dreading one. I don't think I had ever gone to Kyoto any faster than I had that day. By the time I got there, it was well into the night. Just as I pulled into the main district where I was brought up in, my cell phone rang, a loud clanging melody of Fur Elise. It was funny how that same song was playing at that moment on my car's CD player.

I liked classical music, and loved the piano. At the age of three, my mother had bought a piano and I had sat myself down by it. A little while after that, my father had hired an instructor for me. I was forced to quit, however, when I was fifteen, due to the academic competition at school. It had been years since I had touched the piano, but that didn't mean I didn't still love it.

Holding the phone to my ear with my left shoulder, I used the right hand to steer. "Himura." I said, quickly, wanting to skip all formalities. I was in a rush.

"Hi." Yuki's voice said. She sounded as cheerful as Tarou-kun had been. I guess it was because I was in town again. I had to smile.

"Hi Yuki." I said, slowing down a bit as a police car drove by. I was not in a rush to get a ticket, that was for sure. "Where are you?"

"I'm inside the hospital's waiting room." She informed me. "And you?"

"Right by the hospital." I said, pulling into the parking lot.

I quickly parked as near as I could to the entrance, and jogged in. Her voice came from the other line. "Kenshin…….I'm scared…."

"There's no need to be." I assured her, breath coming out chopped. "They're just going to give you a check up. You'll be fine."

When I entered the waiting room, she was there, getting to her feet as the doctor called her in, and I followed, the feeling of dread that I just had that morning coming back with a vengeance.

I think I was more afraid than she was, with the way that she calmly answered questions and kept a blank face. It was after all the tests and questions that she leaned into my embrace, showing fear of the results.

And the results were positive.

Afraid that I would never see her again if I left her Kyoto, I took her to live with me in Tokyo that very same day. She never went back again.

**0-0-0-0-0**

The prison cell that I was thrown into was small and dirty as was to be expected. A small dingy mattress lay on an uneven bed stand that was made of metal that was rusting. A little distance away from that stood a small sink and toilet – heaven only knew how long it had been since both had seen washing. Other than that, the dank little area spoke of nothing else. I'd be damned if I were to stay there for more than a few hours. I prayed I wouldn't have to stay there at all, even for that amount of time.

I was going to be held there as a holding prison until something could be worked out. Knowing my father, he would not let the police off the hook that easily, and he wouldn't give up until they let me go. I was suddenly grateful for his commandeering attitude.

My fingers reached out to grasp the bars of the cage, as the door closed. This wasn't fair.

Who…..

Who had been the one to accuse me?

I wanted to scream and shout, but I knew it would be futile. Besides, my strength had begun to ebb again – the things that had happened that one night began to take its toll on me again, and it was all I could do to stand upright.

I could hear some arguing in the next room. I knew dad's angry voice too well for my own good, but this time, I was just glad that anger wasn't directed at me. It was about the only refreshing thing that I could think of in my predicament. I don't know how long it went on for, but after a very long while, the door opened and in walked a policeman, followed closely by my father.

"Right, then, Himura-san," He announced gruffly, but there was a tinge of nervousness in his voice, "out you go. But mind you, the orders are that you stay away from your son; and you are not to go within 20 meters of him."

I felt like someone had dropped a rock on my head. In disbelief, I stared. I was not even allowed to see him? I was being kept away for something I did not do? I wanted to throw a fit! I could feel the anger inside me bubbling dangerously. I saw my dad giving me a warning look, as the man finally managed to unlock the door.

Slowly, I stepped out, willing myself to keep my hands from going out and strangling the man. If I did, then surely I would be thrown right back in. Just to be sure I heard correctly, I asked, "_20_ meters?"

He nodded. "Until the trial which will take place two weeks after your son's recovery, we would advise you to go back to Tokyo."

I nearly balked: _Go back to Tokyo_? The man continued, as if wanting to cut me off from my questioning. "Your son will obviously not recover in two days, Himura-san. It will probably take him weeks. By that time, you will have to return to Tokyo anyway."

"Without my son?" I demanded, angrily.

The man rolled his shoulder self-consciously. I turned on my father, a growl falling from my lips. "This is ridiculous! Kenji can't be left here! What if….."

Dad looked sympathetic as I choked myself off. No, I couldn't think like that. Kenji would get well and I would see him again.

Images of white flashed through my head and I staggered forward, breath hitching in my chest. My hand covered my mouth as I fought back a vomit. I gagged instead, and dad's long arm came out to steady me. His voice was soft.

"Calm down, kid." He said, quietly. "I'll watch after him for you while you are gone. I promise you nothing bad will happen. After the case, I'll bring him home to you." Just as he had done when I was a little boy, he pat me on the back, though, this time, rather awkwardly.

It took me a while to recover, my shock running freely. I wanted to pass out so badly, but that didn't happen. Dad repeated himself again, and I nodded against his big frame, in a daze.

"Let's go." He ordered. "You need your rest."

"Where's Kaoru-san?" I asked tiredly, remembering that she had been with me.

As if to answer my question, Kaoru was waiting outside for us, running over as we came out. "Oh thank heavens!" She cried. Her hands reached out to cup my cheeks. "Kenshin, are you okay?"

I smiled, despite my grief, but I was not ready to use my voice any more than I had that day, so I just nodded.

Dad drove us home, and I think I fell asleep against Kaoru because when I awoke, she was squished in the corner of the backseat, with my head in her lap.

Blushing furiously, I pushed away from her. From the rearview mirror, I could see dad smirking at me. I wanted to just die. "I'm sorry." I stammered, idiotically, causing my dad's smile to grow bigger. Kaoru merely smiled and did not say a word. I think she was either embarrassed or too tired.

Anyway, we pulled up in front of my house a few moments later, me giving quizzical glances all the while to my father. He was nice enough to explain. "She will be staying with us tonight." He said. "I have some things to ask her, and of course, it's late - she needs her rest too."

My ass! He was out to bait me again, my father. I didn't know what to think any more.

So, I just sighed and stepped out of the car, the raindrops that had stopped earlier, chose that perfect moment to start up again, and showered on all of us as we hurried into the house.

Mom was awake, and my dad went straight into the kitchen to talk with her.

Which left Kaoru and I alone.

Nervously, I kicked off my shoes and aligned them at the door. She did the same, looking at me expectantly. I guess I would have to play the part of the host. "I guess you're exhausted too." I ventured, leading her down the hall. She nodded at that, following me closely.

The lights were now fixed, and thank goodness. We made out way down a corridor. The silence between us was unbearable. So I attempted small talk again. "Um…..if you want to wash up, there is a washroom over there." I said, pointing to my left. "And the guest bedroom is right across the hall. Sano was using it but he's gone now, so if you would like to, you can."

Kaoru just nodded again, her blue eyes watching me, never leaving figure. My hand reached out to the handle on my doorknob. Feeling myself flush, I turned to face her. "If….if you are uncomfortable sleeping in the clothes you are in, I may have something you could wear." I offered, uneasily.

Our heights were not that different from each other, as I was just a little taller than her by at least three inches. I guess I was frantic to say something – anything – to her, so that just suddenly popped out of my mouth.

I saw her smile. "I'd appreciate it." She said quietly. So I led her into my room, which was a bit of a mess, as I had not made up the beds. She sat down on the edge of Kenji's as I shuffled around in my drawers to find a shirt and a pair of pants for her to fit in. How embarrassing – she would be wearing my clothes.

Without a doubt, Dad would be crowing over it by morning. I forced myself to ignore that, and say cheerfully, "They may be a little too big, but you could always roll back the sleeves."

"Kenshin….." Kaoru started to say.

"Or you could always resort to wearing Kenji's clothing. He's probably as tall as you." I said.

"Kenshin….."

"He won't be needing them anyway," I continued, feeling my heart twist each time she said my name. I did not want to hear what she had to say. I just wanted her to be quiet.

"Kenshin, you don't have to pretend."

Playing the fool, I murmured. "Pretend what?"

"Pretend that you are okay." She replied, sliding off of Kenji's bed. She took the proffered shirt and pants from my outstretched hands slowly. "I heard the verdict….."

I felt a lump hit my throat.

"Kenshin……"

I glanced away. "It's not fair." I said, hoarsely. Damn it all! I sounded like a freaking wuss with the way my voice cracked. "I don't understand….it's not my fault…."

"I know." She told me, firmly. "It's not your fault."

"Then why must I be punished?!" I cried, facing her finally. "Why does everything bad always have to happen to me?" My chest started to heave, and I could feel my anger start coming back. "Why do the people I love always have to get hurt?!"  
She put the clothing on the bed and touched my arm. I jerked away, as if her touch burned me. She just reached out again and caught my hand. I trembled. "Why…?" I asked, feeling the hurt consume my anger. "I can't be with Kenji because of that stupid decision….what if….he prefers not to come back?"

Voicing my fear was the worst. That caused my eyes to spring with tears.

_Fuck it all!_

My trembling increased, and my legs gave way. "What if…what if he decides not to clear me? Or….what if….." I fell to my knees, the tears beginning to fall. "What if I never see him again? I can't bear that Kaoru! I just can't!" My fingers reached out to bury themselves in her shirt as I cried against her.

I didn't care anymore. My frustrations were being let out, and she held me, as we sat there, hugging me tightly and letting me cry.

When there were no more tears left to cry, she coaxed me into lying down on my futon. Tiredly, I just followed her administrations as she helped me to clean up a bit, before pushing the covers up. My hands refused to let go of her shirt. I was acting like a baby, but I didn't care. For someone my age, I think I should have.

She blinked at me. "Kenshin – do you want me to stay with you tonight?"

My embarrassment gone, I nodded. After all, I had just cried all over her. I just needed someone by me that understood. Her warmth was very comforting and very badly needed. I was glad she asked so that I did not have to voice it.

So, she slowly slipped under the covers next to me, a blush spreading across her cheeks as she did so. I guess she had never slept with a man before in her life. I couldn't blame her.

"I'm sorry." I whispered.

"It's okay." She whispered back, giving my shoulders a squeeze. "That's what friends are for."

Her arms encircled me hesitantly, and I leaned into the offered embrace willingly, curling myself around her, my head on her shoulder. Tonight….I was allowed some comfort.

Tonight, my fears could be assuaged.

We fell asleep in each other's embrace.

**To Be Continued……..

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**AN: **Again, my apologies for the late update. I hope you enjoyed the chapter, nevertheless. Hopefully, I can get the other chapters up faster. In any case, please leave me a review and tell me what you thought!


	21. The Weight of the World

**IN THE END  
By: Chiki Yumeshisa**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Rurouni Kenshin………all original characters are mine to claim….

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AN: ugh. I'm terrible, I admit. I apologize for the late update, everyone! Please don't be angry, I have my reasons. Please enjoy – thank you for your reviews and encouragements!

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**CHAPTER 21**

**- The Weight of the World -**

_What it meant to me, will eventually be a memory of the time I tried so hard…._

We slept well into the afternoon of the next day, the first real rest I had gotten since my anxiety attack a week before.

I awoke to the feel of my bangs being pushed away from my face. I liked the feel, so I let it go on for longer, trying not to open my eyes so that the person doing it would not stop. But curiosity got the better of me, and I opened my eyes to find Kaoru, absently stroking my forehead, her other arm draped loosely around my waist.

My head lay partially on her shoulder, my arm also loosely around her waist, to my absolute embarrassment. When I stirred, she looked down at me. I thought to glance away, but then she smiled lazily.

"Good morning." She said, quietly.

"Ah….good morning, Kaoru-san." I said, uncertain how to respond.

Her fingers stopped playing with my hair, and I was surprised to find myself a bit disappointed. "Are you feeling better?" She asked, cautiously removing her arm from my waist. I did the same and shifted slightly so that I wasn't leaning my weight on her shoulder.

The events from the night before flooded back. It made my head hurt just thinking about it. "Better." I admitted, slowly getting up. "I'm sorry for troubling you."

Kaoru also sat up out of bed, stretching a bit. The shirt she had changed into belonged to me, the dark blue material clinging loosely to her petite form. She had plaited her hair into a single braid down her back, and despite the fact that she had just woken up, she looked great compared to me. I must have had red rimmed eyes with bags underneath.

"Don't be silly, Kenshin. I told you, that's what friends are for. If ever you need anything, you can always call me." She glanced down at her fingers, which were nervously toying with the bed sheets. "In truth, I was so happy that you trusted me with your thoughts….."

A strange feeling surged in me, but I couldn't tell what it was. The way she looked so forlorn and bemused, confused me. Half of me wanted to hug her, and the other half wanted her to go away.

I had to change the subject, and fast.

"I must have ruined your vacation." I told her, getting out of the bed and rubbing out my cramped muscles. I had gone to bed in an old t-shirt and boxers, apparently. I couldn't remember changing from the hospital robes, but I felt my face flame when I realized I was parading in front of a woman in my under clothes! Kaoru just giggled. I couldn't help but glare, reaching into my dresser drawers and pulling out any random pair of pants I could find.

She made a small sound with her throat. "It's not really a vacation." She said. "I have to go back to Tokyo tomorrow anyway. I have marks to grade and submit in by the end of this week. A new term is starting right after the break, you know."

I smoothed out the pants before struggling into them. Just as I was slipping them on and about to say something, my dad walked in freely, without bothering to knock.

"Hey, kid, are you - " He cut himself off when he realized that Kaoru was in the room with me, and that I was half undressed. Oh God! Of all the times he had to walk in! How I wished he could have at least let me have known he was coming!

"Oh, I'm sorry," he drawled, no doubt enjoying my embarrassment as I quickly did up my pants and smoothed my shirt down. Kaoru was giggling non-stop now. Right….make fun of my situation, why didn't she. "I thought you would never make a move." He taunted, seeing as he had already baited me.

My glare had no effect on him, though, and I ended up sputtering protests, causing him to chortle and Kaoru laugh. She was blushing though, and blushed harder when he baited her too, saying that she looked cute in my outfit.

Taking the closest pillow I could get a hold of, I threw it at him. "Get out, and leave us alone, dad!" I growled.

Dad caught the pillow easily, and ducked the next one that was chucked his way. "Us?" He asked, playfully. He was not so successful at dodging the last pillow though and it caught him square in the face. By this time, Kaoru could not contain her laughter any longer and was freely cracking up behind me.

I couldn't help but laugh too because her laugher was infectious. I grinned in triumph. And even more so when I saw the look on Dad's face when he got hit. I laughed until my sides hurt, and I could hardly breathe. It hit me then that I hadn't had a good laugh in months. It felt so good, I didn't care how much it hurt – I wish it could have gone on forever. With all the recent events, I had forgotten what it felt like to be happy; to joke around.

_You should lighten up a bit, Himura-san! You're always so cold and polite, so frigid and ritual. Have you ever thought of just letting go once in a while?_

Kaoru was gasping for breath beside me, the two of us having crumpled on Kenji's bed, not able to hold our laughter in. She was right…I had to let go once in a while. And at the moment, it felt wonderfully good. Problems melt away with laughter……

The good feeling didn't completely disappear, even when we settled down enough for my father to announce, "Your son is awake and asking to see you. They will let you talk to him, but not too close. And you can't ask him anything that may be too strenuous." He made the last word sound terrible. I couldn't help but wonder what would be too strenuous.

Kaoru glanced at me. "Will you go?" She asked, pushing herself off the bed and swiping the mess of her bangs away from her face.

"Of course I'll go." I said, quietly. Even if I could not see Kenji's face, I still wanted to hear his voice.

"Is it okay if I go with you?" Kaoru asked, hooking some hair behind her ear.

It would be good if Kaoru came. Then, Kenji would see that she didn't hate him after all; that she would be willing to visit him in the hospital. And, with the verdict of 20 meters distance, I would not even be able to be in the same room as him. As frustrating as that was, at least Kaoru could speak for me.

I nodded, and Dad announced that he would drive us there after a quick bite to eat. Kaoru began to search for her own clothing, so I left the room to give her some privacy as she changed.

Mom was just starting to leave the kitchen when I saw her. She seemed to plaster a smile onto her face as if for my sake. I knew she was not too happy with me. After all, I hadn't left them with any warning, having hung up on the answering machine. She must have surely panicked seeing a pool of blood by her front entrance.

She began to back into the kitchen once more, saying cheerfully, "Oh, Kenshin – are you hungry? I will prepare you something to eat before you leave."

"Mom….." I began to say. I was about to offer to help, but that was not my real intention.

Running away…again.

"Hmmm?" Mom began tying her robes back.

"I'm sorry." I blurted, uneasily.

She froze, dark eyes sliding toward me.

"I'm sorry….." I said again, for good measure.

Mom seemed to be on slow motion for a few moments but that vanished almost too soon. I was already resigned to hearing a huge lecture and scolding. And it began.

She turned to face me fully, angrily tugging the knot she was making tight. "Do you have any idea how worried we've been!?" She asked, slowly. Sometimes, she could be just as scary as dad when she was mad. It was all I could do not to run away.

"Imagine how I felt, being approached by a police officer, telling us that one of my boys was seriously injured! Do you have any idea how worried I've been?!" Her chest heaved in her anger, and I flinched back for a moment, fearing she would reach out and slap me.

She didn't though, but she was hardly able to control herself. "Then I saw all that blood – and no one had any explanations! I didn't know who was at fault, or why it even happened. If your father hadn't calmed me down, I swear I might have had a heart attack.

"While he got to go to the hospital to see you two, I had to stay here, and wait for the news. No night has ever been longer for me, and you can bet I could think of nothing else. Just because you are my adopted son, Himura Kenshin, does not mean that I don't consider you a real one! I'm still your mother!"

Her voice had gotten shrill and thin, as she struggled to stop herself from crying. I felt terrible. "I can't believe you didn't leave me a message or even call me!"

It was never my habit to give hugs or kisses or anything like that. Maybe when I was little I did, but once I reached the age of a teenager, I began to distance myself from those intimate things. I guess it was different between parents and a girlfriend.

So now I found myself in a fine predicament. I ended up giving my mother a hug feeling ill at ease. "Mom….I didn't forget you….." I started to say. "I'm really sorry….I really, really am. But I was in a panic – I was in a rush to get Kenji to the hospital. It's my fault I didn't get the chance to even leave a message. I always end up screwing up everything."

She never responded, just hugged me to her so tightly, as if never wanting to let go, crying. After a while, she said,

"I'm selfish in a way…I am somehow glad that it wasn't you that was stabbed. But as a father yourself, you must know how I feel."

"And doubly worse." I agreed, ruefully. I closed my eyes, the soft smell of her perfume filling my senses. "If you want, you can slap me." I offered, "If it will make you feel better."

She pushed away then, sniffing. "Don't be silly. Just……"

"I know, mom, I know." I interrupted, before she could get all emotional on me again. "I'm still up to eat something," I said, hopefully, changing the topic. "If you want, I can help….."

Mom was back to wringing her hands in a fret. "Oh, my goodness! I almost forgot. Let's get you something hot to eat before you go. Your son is waiting for you. So you just sit and let me take care of it."

Reluctantly, I sat down on one of the chairs, watching her. I didn't want to argue any more, lest I tire myself out some more. Well, come to think of it, this was the first time in days that I felt refreshed and like I had actually slept well.

Kaoru joined us a little later, looking refreshed and as she always did – pretty and well dressed. She gave me a small smile, and sat down too, to another great meal by my mother. I had the chance to formally introduce Kaoru, and mom was giving me looks throughout our little meal.

When we were done and Kaoru was out of earshot, mom pulled me back a step. "Kenshin, dear, is that girl special to you?"  
What a way to word it!

I felt myself turn crimson. "Mom!" I cried, aghast.

She tugged on my sleeve, insistently. "Really, Kenshin – I mean it. Is she special to you?"

What was it with women, wording themselves so cunningly? It was all I could do not to sigh and roll my eyes. Great, Mom was in on the gig too it seemed, and there was nothing I could do about it.

"She's just a friend." I said, giving her a taste of her own medicine.

Her eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Really? So she gets the phone call to go to the hospital before I do?"

And she cornered me while she was at it!

I opened my mouth to retort and answer, but there was nothing to retort. My jaw sort of just hung open, in discomfort. Mom decided to continue her assault. "If she was the one that was stabbed, would you care?"

A sort of fear stabbed through me then: if Kenji was stabbed, maybe Kaoru would be the next target if she was seen around me. And for some strange reason, I did not want her to get hurt. Especially on my account.

I don't know why I felt that way. Maybe she was someone special to me after all. At that moment, Kaoru turned around and called my name. Mom released my sleeve and gave me a little push forward.

When I caught up with Kaoru, she asked, "What happened?" I think my face was still red.

"Nothing." I murmured.

She giggled knowingly. "Oh, Kenshin…..you let everything just get to you. But, you're cut when you blush." She turned and began to walk ahead. That caused me to flame red again and leave me speechless one more. I ran to catch up with her, a smile tugging on my lips.

Dad dropped us off in front of the hospital, leaving us because he still had some things to deal with at his store and of course, make some arrangements about my case. He swore he'd win and bring down the injustice. All I wanted to know was who had done the stabbing and who had done the accusing.

Kenji had been re-located to the fourth floor for recovery and special attention. A few people were standing outside of his room, most likely there to pounce on me if I broke the given rule. I had to carefully – and forcefully – rein in my anger and hurt, lest I lose all control and lash out. Their eyes watches us as we neared.

Kaoru's shoulder bumped me in a small nudge. I looked down at her and she was looking up at me with a reassuring glance.

"Ne…you will tell me everything?" I asked, hopefully.

She nodded. "Yes…..everything. But I think, for now, I will just let him know about the case. I don't think asking him outright what happened to him will be safe; especially in his condition."

I had to reluctantly agree. After all, that was what court was going to be for. But I was dying to know. And I wanted to be sure……

When we reached the floor, Kaoru walked ahead. I stopped and she gave my arm a squeeze before entering. All I could do was stand by the window looking into the room and watch as Kaoru pulled a chair over to sit by the side of Kenji's bed.

I saw him open his eyes and turn his head slightly to look at her. Disappointment was clearly written on his face when he saw who it was.

Kaoru started speaking then, and I heard Kenji's angry voice faintly as he demanded, "Where's my dad?"

She put her hands up as if to subdue him. I could see her protesting with him, and he settled down with a glower on his face.

To my great relief, Kenji was looking a lot better than he had the night before. Freshly bandaged and most likely bathed, his condition had greatly improved. They had wound his forehead and most probably stitched his wounds. He must have been in pain.

I saw Kenji speak a little but all in all, Kaoru seemed to do most of the talking. They must have had only five minutes because a doctor entered the room, stopping them. He spoke briefly with Kaoru for a moment before ushering her out. Kenji looked pissed and tried to get out of bed.

That idiot!

He winced and fell back with a cry. Several nurses ran in to attend to him.

Kaoru exited the room slowly, her face worried and pensive.

"H-how was he?" I ventured to ask.

"He'll be fine." She said, quietly. "He was looking for you. And I told him all that was going on. I was about to ask if he had the mind to clear you during trial, but I was interrupted and I had to leave."

I nodded, watching as Kenji continually put up a fight against the doctors. "Let go of me!" he screamed. "Let go of me! Kamiya-sensei; Dad! Don't leave me!" He sounded frantic. "Dad! Dad!!"

How painful. I didn't move. I couldn't move.

His big dark eyes stared at me through the window. I saw something I Never wanted to see – betrayal – as the doctors finally managed to inject him and he collapsed back, sedated.

Hands clenching into fists, I took a step forward before I felt a hand on mine. Kaoru. She shook her head, biting her lip.

"I can't just - !"

"- You have to, Kenshin, or you will never win that case."

Her words were like a bullet to my chest. She was right, of course, but Kenji's desperate cry rang in my ears. I had to close my eyes to fight off the image of his disbelief as I walked away from the window.

No….no! I couldn't be defeated like that. I would fight back.

I would not lose. I made up my mind.

"Tokyo…." I murmured.

"Huh?" Kaoru asked.

"Tokyo….I will return there as soon as possible." I said.

Kaoru blinked in surprise as we headed down the stairs. For some reason, my ankle had begun to hurt so I limped down them, trying to endure the pain.

If Kenji could do it, then I could too. Although, I had to wonder, at this point, who was suffering more.

Kaoru, realizing my limp, helped me down the stairs, one hand on my arm and one on my back. "I thought you would like to stay here as long as you could with Kenji." She said, quietly.

"I would." I admitted. "But he's not the only one I am worried for."

She gave me a quizzical glance. "Really? Who?"

Of course I wasn't about to tell the truth.

"My father and mother – if Kenji was targeted, then for sure they will be too. And not only that, maybe my…friends."

Kaoru pursed her lips and for a moment, I wondered if she had caught on to my meaning. I guess she didn't because she instead asked, "Well, why don't you file a report that someone is after you?"

I sighed. "There's no evidence." I said, finally reaching the bottom. The pain had dulled down to a throb. I bent down to check on it, wondering what I could have done to twist it and make it hurt.

Akira had never openly made a threat where there were any witnesses. Nor did he make one via paper or email. Word of mouth – and it was his word against mine. Now that he was quite accomplished in his job, I had no possible way I could win. And at the moment, there was no evidence that this case involved that bastard anyway. Oh, excuse my language – I meant, _friend_. Sarcasm drips here.

"I guess I'm stuck just waiting for the trial." I said.

"Won't Kenji be mad?" She asked.

"He's always mad." I pointed out. "Whether it's my fault or not."

Kaoru rolled her eyes. "You two are impossible…..but anyway, if you are bent on returning to Tokyo, I can give you a lift. Remember, I leave tomorrow."

Oh right – she drove. "You came here all by yourself?" I asked, incredulously.

"Please do not take me lightly, sir." She said, seriously. "I do know how to drive long distances on my own." She raised her eyebrow at me, as if challenging me.

"I used to." I protested. "But after I quit my job at the hospital, I was forced to give up my car and take the bus."

Gee, now she probably thought of me as a loser. Since when did I ever aim to please? And Kaoru of all people! "If you don't mind me tagging along." I said, grumbling.

"I don't mind." She said, grinning. "I'll come pick you up at your house then." She took out her cell phone, letting me use it to call home and ask for a ride. Dad agreed after some arguing. But since I was limping, he reluctantly gave in. How loving of him.

We dropped Kaoru off first, in front of Soujiro's little apartment. I saw a woman standing at the top of the stairs on the porch, a small bundle in her arms. No doubt, that was Vivi. She had shoulder length dark brown hair and was wearing all pink. I hadn't seen her in years so I gave her a small wave from the window when her eyes met mine.

She beamed, using one arm to wave back. Her baby must have started wailing then, because she turned her attention to it.

I never got to speak to her then to even congratulate her. Dad was in a rush, so he dropped me off, with little said between us. He knew that I had not been able to speak with Kenji anyway. I would have only been able to give him a vague idea of what had gone on in the hospital. I was quite surprised that he didn't ask me for details and glad at the same time. I don't think I wanted to tell him how I felt.

Kenji's cries still rang in my head.

Mom was upset that I had to leave the next day, but I had made my decision and I wasn't about to back out of it. I promised her I'd visit again after the case was solved. That night, we had another huge feast, even if it was just the three of us. Despite my mother's silence towards me, it was her way of saying goodbye. She hated saying it.

I managed to get a good amount of sleep that night, much to my relief. Until my dreams turned into nightmares. Kenji was getting stabbed in front of my eyes and there was nothing I could do. I was being held back by Kain and Akira's laughter rang in the air. I screamed and screamed, but no one came to help. Sanosuke and my friends were in some sort of other room right next to mine, and they could not hear me.

Jerking hard out of my sleep, I woke up to the feel of someone shaking me. Mom was dressed in her night robe, her hair in curlers. She was sitting on my bed and Dad was just halfway in the door.

"What in the world is wrong?" He demanded.

"Are you okay?" Mom asked at the same time.

Their words flew past me, as I concentrated on breathing properly. I guess guilt and fear had different ways of creeping up on someone. But why did it always have to happen to me?

"Kenshin!" Mom cried, shaking me again. My head lolled as she did so. I couldn't gather my bearing as fast as I wanted to.

When I finally did, I muttered, "I'm sorry…..I just had a nightmare….."

"Well, that's obvious." Dad snorted. "Honestly, waking us up like that at this hour in the morning. I can't believe a grown man like you still does these things."

He was right, as always. But, I felt myself get angry. "You don't know the hell I go through!" I said.

Dad did not reply, and Mom smiled faintly, her face puckered into a worried look again. "Are you sure you want to leave today?" She asked. "I mean, being all by yourself in Tokyo……"

"I'll be fine." I said curtly.

"Why do you keep lying to me?" Dad demanded. Damn. I couldn't keep anything from him. I had used every excuse in the book, not telling him the truth of why I was actually going back. Work, resignation…..anything. I would rather not have him gloat and make fun of me.

I swiped my arm across my forehead, removing the beads of sweat there. I decided not to answer, not wanting to look at him or mom. Eventually, they decided to go back to bed when they realized that I wasn't going to give them a suitable answer. Normally, dad would have pounded me in for my insolence, but I think they were just so tired as it was.

Unfortunately, I could not go back to sleep. Of course I couldn't. The weight of the world seemed to rest on my shoulders. And the laughter in my dreams seemed to mock me, even in consciousness. I covered my ears against it, unable to block it out.

"I really appreciate this….." I said, quietly, slipping into the passenger seat next to Kaoru. She had come early, much to my relief. Having sat through a very tense breakfast and parted with a tearful farewell, I felt I could not take it any longer. I was going back to Tokyo, as far away from Kyoto as possible.

"Don't mention it." Kaoru said, putting her car into gear. She looked over her shoulder, as she carefully backed out of the driveway.

Mom waved as we slid onto the road, the wheels of the car crunching as it hit the rocky pavement. Construction had started up on the sidewalks a couple of days ago, it seemed, but hadn't continued due to weather conditions. It looked like another rainy day was ahead, with the way the sky looked dark and foreboding.

"Be careful, you two! Kenshin, take care of yourself."

I rolled my eyes at her call, and buried my head into the sack I had rested on my lap, in embarrassment.

Kaoru called a final goodbye, before driving away. "You're parents are wonderful people." She said, quietly.

"They're always like that," I groaned, not lifting my head from its buried perch. Thus, my voice sounded muffled. The worn material of the bag felt soft against my cheek. I had had this bag ever since my first trip to Tokyo.

"I wish my parents were like that." Kaoru said, turning out of the vicinity. We passed by the library, and I took a last glimpse at it before it too, disappeared out of view.

I lifted my head, in curiosity. "What do you mean?"

"My parents fight all the time." She said, amused. "I think they only stayed together for my sake." She sounded sad. "Don't get me wrong – they both loved me, but they just didn't love each other."

Despite the fact that her family had troubles, Kaoru was still sweet and considerate – strong and optimistic. I found myself staring at her again, in fascination once more. I almost missed her next words because of it. " 'Never give up' – that's my motto. Even when everything seems so impossible."

The motto of a child. The truth of the matter was, life would always be difficult, and no matter how hard one worked, not everything turned out the way one wanted. Unfortunately, I was a victim to that. However, despite the truth, I still liked Kaoru's ideal over mine.

I leaned my elbow against the little ledge of the car's window. It was open just a very little, allowing a small breeze to come in. I think Kaoru knew that the flowery smell of her car's air freshner was a bit too strong. I think I would have gotten sick because of it.

The tune on the radio suddenly switched to one of Linkin Park's songs. _In The End_, if I was not mistaken. I couldn't help but listen in on the words of the song. Even if I was not the best in the English language, one sentence jumped out at me: 'It doesn't even matter how hard you try…..'

How true! It seemed no matter how hard I tried in anything, it amounted to nothing. I failed in being a parent, failed in trying to be a doctor, and failed in trying to move on.

I remember studying so hard to find a cure for the cancer, working so hard to get the treatments…..but nothing worked. Yuki died anyway. My heart began to race at the memories and I shoved them away.

Kaoru jolted me out of my reminiscing. "Hey, Kenshin….when you get back to Tokyo, what will you do for two weeks? You'll be all by yourself…."

She was worried that I'd think too much, most probably. I was already doing that now, so I guess she had every reason to worry. But she had a point: what on earth would I do with my remaining two weeks? The three days I had spent in Kyoto had not been very fun. In fact, they had been the worst ever. It made returning seem terrible.

"I guess I'll….uh….." What _was _I going to do?

Drink.

Yeah, I'd probably resort to doing that, just to forget. Sake could come as a very handy tool sometimes.

"You could stay at my place!" She offered. "So that you won't be lonely….." She trailed off, turning pink when she realized exactly what she had said. "I mean….! I didn't mean it like that, but….you're always welcome to share company and…..well, you know, if ever…" She was babbling now, digging herself deeper into the mistake that it was amusing. I thought to be mean and let her continue, but I saved her by saying quietly,

"If you wouldn't mind…..."

In her surprise, she jerked the steering wheel to the left, so that the whole car swerved dangerously. Gasping, I reached out to steady myself, placing my hands palms down on the compartment in front of me. Behind us, a car honked its horn at us.

"Really?!" She cried.

"Kaoru-san, please be careful!" I said, breathlessly. The car behind us passed us, the driver sending out colorful words as he flew past. Kaoru ignored him completely.

"You'd really come over?"

I was afraid of what she'd do if I agreed, but I nodded anyway. Her recklessness was likely to be the death of me. I prepared myself for another crazy swing, but it never came. She was grinning from ear to ear.

"You could stay in the guest bedroom," She was saying. "It's small but it's decent enough. But I have to warn you that my cooking is not the greatest……"

"That's okay," I murmured, watching as the traffic congested ahead of us. It always seemed to do so when Kaoru was driving. "I'll take care of it." Tearing my gaze from the street, I glanced over to her. "Do you mind if I stop by my place for a moment, to get some….necessities?"

Kaoru nodded. "Sure thing!"

The radio blared the last the ending of the song, but by that time, neither of us were listening.

I mused over how strange it all was. Of all the people I chose to have company with, it was Kaoru. I just couldn't get over my amazement at how I used to avoid her at all costs, but now, I was agreeing to stay with her for two weeks. I could have chosen to stay at Sanosuke's, but I guess I wasn't up to his raging at me. He would go on and on about how he had warned me not to go, and how he know this was bound to happen. Then he'd go crazy and what to beat the crap out of whoever did the attack.

Of course, he'd get even more upset when he found out that I had no clue who did it, and when I told him of the verdict. I knew Sano all too well.

The answer – no, I was not about to spend two weeks with Sano.

Even though he was the closest person to me, I just didn't feel up to his overprotectiveness. I would take Kaoru's naïvete any day over a lecture.

Returning from Kyoto was much faster than the trip to Kyoto. I was most glad when we were back in the familiar grounds of my neighborhood. Despite the rainy season in Kyoto, Tokyo was nice and warm, which meant that in the few days we were gone, my lawn looked to be in need of some serious cutting.

I guess I hadn't paid much attention to the maintaining of it ever since I had started to think about going to Kyoto. I'd be leaving the lawn as it was until two weeks were up, it seemed. By that time, the grass would be as tall as me, and my neighbors would not be in the least happy.

When we pulled to a stop by the curb of my house, I realized that a car was parked in my driveway. It was definitely not my father's, or Sanosuke's. Stepping out, leaving Kaoru in the car waiting, I ventured forward to get a better look at the vehicle.

It was a nice, sleek, black color. From where I stood, it looked to be an expensive one. A lawyer perhaps? Already on my case……or maybe some vendor, peddling their goods at my door.

But when I finally reached the car, I was shocked to see a BMW.

The image of the car from so long ago flashed in my mind, bringing with it bad memories. If it was here, then for sure, _he_ was here too!

And sure enough, standing on my porch, stood Kain himself.

**To Be Continued……..**

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AN: And that wraps up this chapter. Again, I'm sorry for the late post. Please do leave me some feedback though, it's greatly appreciated!


	22. Wonder

**In The End**

**By: Chiki Yumeshisa**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Rurouni Kenshin…all original characters are mine to claim….

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**AN:** Yes, I'm alive. After two years (my last update, according to my profile, was in May 2008), I am back to update. Better than never? Yeah, okay, I know, I'm terrible. Sorry. Just read...

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**CHAPTER 22**

**- Wonder -**

For a moment, I was like a deer caught in the headlights of a car. I didn't know whether to feel angry or surprised. Well, I guess I felt both…..but still, my situation and encounters with people seemed to be going from bad to worse. Of all the times to be confronted by Kain, it had to be now.

He was standing on the front porch, looking like he was ready to knock on the front door. He was dressed smartly, all in black, complete with sunglasses. These he pushed up, onto his head, holding his blond hair back. They fell in wisps around his face as he turned to look down at me with those familiar dark blue eyes.

"Oh, Kenshin! I'm glad I caught you at the right moment."

Damn, if I could only have been a few minutes later, I would have missed him all together. However, thanks to my persistence that we stop by my place, fate made us bump into each other again.

He began to make his way down the steps, eagerly. I stayed rooted into place, struggling to keep a passive face on. Luckily for him, he stopped a little distance away from me. Distantly, I heard a car door slam shut, and in moments, Kaoru was by my side.

"Kenshin? Who's this?" She asked.

Kain glanced at her briefly, before looking at me again. "I've been trying to get a hold of you for so long now." He started.

"What do you want, Kain?" I demanded.

He looked hurt. "A chance to explain." He said.

I could feel a snarl rise in my throat. I had to fight to keep myself from snapping. "It's too late for that, don't you think?"

"I see that Yuki really is gone….." He said, quietly, warily watching Kaoru. "I saw the grave myself, but I refused to believe it."

"You have no right to call her that." I said, miffed. .

Kain held his hands up, defensively. "I'm sorry – Tomoe – I meant no offense."

_Yeah sure, bite me_, I thought angrily.

Kaoru watched the exchange between us, confused. Well, I guess she must have been – our conversation was very strange. She tugged on my sleeve. "Ken….."

I held my hand up to stop her from continuing. "I'm sorry I don't have time, right now, Kain." I said, icily. "I have some important matters to attend to."

"As do I." Kain agreed, nodding slightly. "But, since you've been ignoring everything that I've sent you, apparently, I came down here personally to find you. And let me tell you what a tough time you gave me."

Sneering, I said, "That was the intention."

He frowned, his still-handsome face creasing when he did so. He glanced down at my companion again. I tended to get offended easily by this man. Of course, I would never trust him again.

I could feel Kaoru's insistent tug again. "Let's just go, Kenshin….." She pleaded. Her hand found mine, tugging at that instead.

So I turned to go with her. Necessities could be bought, I figured. I just didn't want to be around him any longer. I didn't want Kaoru around either. Putting my hand up to the small of her back, I began to usher her to the car once more.

"Wait, Himura!"

I froze. Not because I wanted to hear what Kain had to say, but because he had never called me that before. Kaoru took a glance over her shoulder, before ducking into the driver's seat.

"We'll find you again you know!" He cried. "It's not over."

"Trust me, it is." I told him, monotonously, before turning my heel again and getting into Kaoru's car.

She was already starting up the engine by that time. She cast me a worried look. "Is it really okay, Kenshin?" She asked. "What if he comes after you?"

"He's been after me for the last four years." I sighed, climbing in again and buckling my seatbelt around my waist securely.

Now she was alarmed. "Oh, what if he intends to do something bad to you?" She cried.

I smiled a bit. "No, he isn't out for that. And besides, he has already done the worst to me. And for that, I can't forgive him." I glanced back to see Kain still standing on my lawn, watching us. His gaze never left my face. It was better that he was looking at me rather than Kaoru. "Never mind – let's just go."

She protested for a moment, but I shot her a warning look. I was not in the mood for concern at the moment. I was slowly beginning to snap, and I desperately didn't want to do so. I had thought Kain had learned his lesson, but it seemed that he hadn't. Reluctantly, Kaoru put her car into gear, driving toward her apartment building while I brooded next to her.

"Kenshin….." She said timidly. "I don't know what's going on, but are you sure you're going to be all right?"  
"I'll be fine." I assured her. "And I won't let you get involved in this, Kaoru-san. I'll protect you, no matter what."

She gave me a small smile, her eyes confused. In reassurance, I gave her shoulder a light pat, telling her to forget about it.

Our short ride to her house was silent, as we were both absorbed in our thoughts. We parked toward the back of the parking lot, as the rest of the spaces were filled. Luckily, the mid-afternoon was great: spring had finally decided to warm up, and I took in a big breath of air when I climbed out of the car for the second time that day.

How ironic it all seemed. Just that morning I had been laughing like there wasn't a care in the world. And yet now…..

Kaoru was already starting to pull out our duffel bags from the back compartment, by the time I dragged myself over to her. I felt like my body had been punched in again and again, leaving me hollow and shaky. I wasn't tired as I had gotten a good amount of sleep the night before, but I still wanted to rest. However, I offered to carry both bags up. Kaoru wouldn't hear of it, and took up her bag, leading the way to the building. Shrugging, I picked up my bag and followed her.

A man stood at the door, and welcomed her in when he saw her. He was an elderly man with a full mustache and beard complementing his face. In his arms were two little girls who were both smiling at Kaoru and welcomed her as well. They must have been the people she had told me about before.

I was proven right when she spoke their names. "Gensai-sensei, good afternoon! And it's nice to see you Ayame-chan, Suzume-chan."

"Ah, Kaoru-chan, where have you been lately?" He asked. He noticed me standing there and gave me a friendly bow of his head. Of course, being brought up to respect my elders whether or not I knew them, I bowed low.

"Oh, Gensai-sensei, this is Himura Kenshin, my friend." Kaoru said, when she noticed my gesture. "Kenshin, this is Gensai-sensei, the man I told you about before."

"It's nice to meet you, sir." I said, politely, when I straightened.

A twinkle was in Gensai-sensei's eye. "Yes, yes of course. My granddaughters and I are going to step out for a while. It was nice meeting you."

The children watched me with big eyes. The smaller one broke into a huge grin and shyly waved her hand at me. Despite myself, I smiled and waved back.

I felt Kaoru nudge me with her elbow. "Come on." She said, stepping into the lobby. "It looks like all the kids like you." She teased, when we reached the elevators.

I smiled wistfully. "Yes, all except one."

She seemed to get the hint and she frowned. "Oh, Kenshin, you know that's not what I meant."

I chuckled at her anxiety. The two weeks ahead would prove to be very interesting indeed.

**0-0-0-0-0**

I had almost forgotten how Kaoru kept house. This time, however, it was better than it had been before. For one thing, her clothes were not all over the living room. For another, the cluttered mess seemed to have been arranged.

She pulled me in, and I barely had enough time to pull off my shoes, let alone arrange them.

Leading me to the small guest bedroom, I stared down at the mess. If the living room was bad – this bedroom was worse. It looked like a tornado had flown in. Now I knew where all the mess had been moved to.

"It needs a bit of cleaning." She said, hesitantly. "If you don't want to stay here, then you could always use my bedroom."

I shook my head, putting my duffel bag down on the floor gingerly. "This will be fine, Kaoru-san. I would never want to kick you out of your own bedroom."

She was now blushing. Goodness, if she didn't want to be embarrassed by the appearance of a room, then she should have always kept it clean.

"I-I was planning on cleaning it." She thought to explain. "But I…well, I haven't had the time and when I do, I feel too lazy."

I couldn't help but chuckle again. She could always amuse me. It looked like she took staying alone for granted. I would have been willing to bet that she had never thought to bring home a man to her home, thus she never got around to cleaning. Either that or she never cleaned in any circumstance, period.

She began to pick up the books on the floor. I bent down to stop her. "I'll take care of it." I said. "You go and take a shower and get some rest. Driving long distances can tire someone out, I know."

I thanked her again, and she, still red, exited the room. I was left to stare at the mess. Rolling up the sleeves to the sweater I wore, I began my work.

By the time Kaoru called me out for something to eat, I had almost finished. The floor was now spotless, all the books were lined neatly by size on the small desk she had. The bed sheets had been changed to the ones I had brought to Kyoto, and all traces of dust had been removed. All the stuff I didn't know what to do with, I had had sorted through. A big bag of garbage stood in the corner, and a small row of teddy bears stared down at me from a shelf where stood a radio, a mirror and a couple of CDs. All clothing had been folded and placed into the closet.

I had made space for a couple of my own clothing in a bottom dresser. She was amazed when she peeked in. I got up, dusting my pants.

"Wow…" her eyes wandered the room for a second. "It's surprising."

I looked up from my handiwork. "What is?" Hadn't she seen a clean room before? With the way the room had been, I guess I should not have wondered.

"That for a man, you sure are feminine." She said.

Irked, I scowled. "Why, thank you. I'm guessing it's to make up for what you lack."

It was her turn to scowl. Two could play that game. So what if I had long hair and a fetish for keeping clean? Huffing, she turned to walk out of the room, her head held up high. Resigned, I followed her.

We sat down to dinner, dropping the topic we had just argued about. I picked up my fork as there were no chopsticks laid out, and poked at the stuff on the plate in front of me.

"It's lasagna." She piped up. "There's plenty more, so eat up."

Realizing that I was really hungry, I took a big bite. And instantly regretted it. If Kenji was a bad cook, then Kaoru was….well, to put it nicely, much worse. I almost choked, and I hurriedly grabbed the tissue in front of me, spitting it out.

She looked up, in surprise.

"K-Kaoru-san….how is that instant lasagna could taste so…" Seeing her expression darken, I fumbled with my words. "…so…..cold?"

It was half-frozen, and mushy. The top had been burned so badly, and she had added some spices to it, from what my tongue told me. She had probably stuck it in the oven and turned the heat up on the highest so that it would cook faster. It only resulted in a half-burned, half-cooked meal.

"I know, it tastes like garbage," She agreed, "but I wanted to make a quick meal for you, since I know you were hungry….."

How sweet. Still, she was most likely to poison me than to fill me up. I got up. "I think you should just follow the instructions on the box….." seeing that I was only resulting in pissing her off, I tried a different approach. If I didn't do something, then I would not last the two weeks.

"Why don't I cook?" I offered. I could practically see fumes come out of ears at my words. I held up my hands to calm her down. "So that I won't seem like a freeloader." I added, hastily.

She sniffed, putting down her fork. "I told you my cooking was bad." She said, mournfully.

Just to make her feel better, I winked, gathering our plates of half-finished food and the remaining lasagna and threw the contents out. "This isn't exactly cooking. It's taking frozen food and serving it up. I bet what you cook from scratch tastes better."

Defeated, she sighed. "No, that's worse, actually. I end up buying instant foods, or ordering out all the time. I can't even eat my own junk."

"You can improve." I pacified her. "If you want, I'll help you."

I wasn't exactly the greatest cook either, but since my mother was always so fond of it, I guess I had learned a thing or two. Back then I was never happy with watching her cook, but I was glad now that I had. She finally relented and I quickly set to work.

Rummaging through her refrigerator, I managed to scrounge up enough for a simple meal. It wasn't the best as there wasn't much to work with, but it was better than nothing. And at least it was edible. I made a mental note to myself that I would have to go with her for some groceries - soft drinks and a molding loaf of bread were all that was left in the fridge, and I most certainly could not work with that.

Afterwards, I excused myself to take a shower, and to freshen up. My weary muscles relaxed when the spray of hot water splayed over my skin. It took longer than normal for me to use the shower as I had to figure out how to work it and look for some shampoo. Since my hair was long, it took a while for it to dry. I was still toweling it out as I entered the living room again.

This time, she had taken the initiative to really clean the place up, almost as if to prove to me that she could be neat once in a while. She had made tea, and offered a cup to me, and I sat across from her, on that single couch. So I let my hair fall down my back in damp, loose strands, draping the towel around my shoulders to keep my back from getting all wet.

She was sitting down with a bunch of papers in her lap. "I've got to do some marking for another teacher. She's out of town so I offered to help her out.

"I'm going to record all those that I've done so far," She continued, "could you please read the marks out to me?" She proceeded to hand me a stack

It wasn't that bad, so I nodded. So while I sipped at my drink, I helped her out. I stopped when I saw a name that sounded so familiar.

"Myojin Yahiko." I said.

She looked up, her pen hovering over her paper.

"That's Kenji's friend…" I said, staring at his marks. He was a good student apparently, passing his test with a mark over 80.

Kaoru twirled the pen in her hand with her fingers. "Oh, Yahiko." She said, smiling. "It looks like the brat is actually working harder this year."

I leaned forward in my seat, pulling my legs up so that I sat in a crouched position. "I have never met him." I said, "And Kenji always speaks so highly of him."

Kaoru was frowning now. "Kenshin….Yahiko and Kenji-kun are not friends, actually."

Confused, I put down the paper. "What do you mean?"

"Well, Yahiko doesn't even know who Kenji is." She started. She pushed away the paper from her lap, setting it aside on the couch. "I asked him the other day.

"Yahiko is the star kendo-ist in our school. A tough kid, who's bright and intelligent, like every other student. And, like every other student, an arrogant jerk. But half the girls like him, and he has many friends - and Kenji isn't among them.

"Remember, I told you, that Kenji doesn't have friends…..it seems he wishes he was Yahiko's friend…..but…I don't know how to say this….I think he's been lying to you, Kenshin."

So that was why….that was why he always made up excuses whenever I asked him who Yahiko was. It was frustrating but at the same time surprising: Kenji had someone he looked up to. A part of me was relieved, but at the same time, a part of me was disappointed. Call me vain, but I was willing to bet that every father wanted their son to have them as their role model. I was a lousy one, though. So much for that thought.

Yet, Kaoru spoke so fondly of him, as if she was very close to the boy. "Are you related to Myojin-san in any way?" I asked.

Kaoru shook her head, picking up the pages again. "No. But I was the Kendo instructor's substitute when he sprained his wrists in a tournament. Yahiko hated me at first, but after a while, we became….mutual friends." She finished. "I showed him that guys aren't the only people who can do the sport."

I rolled my eyes. "You must teach me some moves." I said, scornfully. Not that I was a sexist in any way – far from it – but I had never seen a woman wield a sword before. And picturing Kaoru doing so was just far too amusing.

She was glowering again. "Oh I will," She promised, "And I'll make sure you learn your lesson – the hard way."

My, was she ever so spirited. She would never change it would seem. I held my hands up in defeat. "Yes, yes," I said, standing up from the couch. I had no idea why I was being so cynical with her that morning. I guess…if I looked cute when I blushed, she looked cute when she was angry.

She got up from the couch too, rubbing her eyes tiredly. "I guess I can finish the rest tomorrow…." She sighed, glancing at the remaining papers sullenly. She then suddenly smiled up at me. "Thanks for your help."  
"It's nothing." I murmured, handing her back the stack I had been holding. "Thanks for telling me the truth. You know: about Kenji…." I looked away quickly, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. Of course, I was ashamed – Kenji couldn't seem to trust me at all. The outcome of this whole mess was starting to look darker and darker. "Anyway, Kaoru-san, please go and get some rest. You must be so tired after all that's happened."  
Once again, she looked worried, but she nodded. "Okay. Good night, Kenshin. Are you sure you're going to be all right?"

My eyes glanced toward the door leading into the house. "Yes. I'll be fine. Good night, Kaoru-san."

For a moment, neither of us moved. But then she began to back out of the room hesitantly. When she was gone, I did a last check on the stoves and electronic appliances before making sure that the front door was securely locked and bolted into place. It was one thing for the house to burn down, and another for it to be broken into.

That night, I got no sleep.

**0-0-0-0-0**

Kaoru was wandering into the living room sleepily, still in her pajamas, when I walked in, a fresh load of laundry in my arms. She was awake instantly, seeing me.

"Good morning!" I said, cheerfully. I was not about to show her that I was exhausted.

She tilted her head. "Good morning….Kenshin, what are you doing?"

"Laundry." I said, nonchalantly. Wasn't it obvious?

"Why?"  
"Because it was just there." I told her. I had spied her laundry in the washroom that morning when I was freshening up and I decided to help her out a bit. She seemed very busy and I had nothing else better to do anyway. I'd be damned if I went back to work during my leave of absence. I could practically hear Saitou sniggering.

Kaoru shifted uncomfortably as I began to fold the clothing neatly. "You don't have to…." She protested.

"Kaoru-san, I don't mind in the least." I assured her. "Think of it as a way of paying you back for my freeloading. I have to help out and do my share of the work."  
She was blushing now. "But you already made dinner last night….."

I continued, as if I had not heard her. "If there is anything more that you need done, please just let me know." I eyed her for a moment, plastering a smile onto my face. "Why don't you go and freshen up? I was unable to make breakfast, so we'll have to go out for something."  
Her face was that of uncertainty. "But, Kenshin…"

Before she could say anything more, a knock came at the door. I straightened instantly, listening intently, on my guard. I had been caught off guard too many times already so it was only natural that I was more cautious. Even Kaoru seemed to stiffen and turned her head toward the source of the sound as well.

"Kaoru-neechan!" A small voice from behind the door called eagerly.

"Kao…nee!" A smaller voice echoed, just as eagerly. Another couple of knocks.

Kaoru relaxed visibly, letting out a small laugh. "Oh, what, it's just the kids." She said. I never relaxed though, as I watched her cross the room to open the door.

Sure enough, there stood Ayame and Suzume, the two little girls from the day before. They gave Kaoru big hugs as soon as the door opened, their happy tones filtering into the room. I relaxed then, bending once more to get another piece of clothing and folding it.

I could hear them all laughing, and had I not known any better, I would have thought that they were all siblings. Nevertheless, I relished in the sound – in my household, there was no such thing. Compared to my neat and orderly home that was always cold and silent, this cluttered up one seemed bright and cheerful.

As I was reaching down for another piece of laundry, I saw a pair of feet looking up at me. I followed them up to see the smaller girl looking down at me shyly again. In her outstretched hand, she held a t-shirt out to me. "Suzume will help you!" She offered.

Blinking in surprise, I took the shirt from her, a smile coming unbidden onto my face. "Why, thank you, Suzume-chan." I said, gently. "That's very kind of you."

"What's your name?" She asked, leaning forward a bit, to stare into my face.

"Kenshin." I heard myself say.

She was cute, wearing an orange yukata, her brown hair parted and placed up into two pigtails atop her head. She had adorable brown eyes and a wonderful smile. She took the liberty to clamber onto the couch next to me, swinging her little legs back and forth energetically. "Ken-nii?" She asked.

I nodded, amused.

In no time at all, I had made fast friends with the little one. And not just her, but her sister as well. Together, we finished with that batch of laundry. Okay, let me rephrase that: I folded the clothing as fast as possible to keep up with them as they handed me the articles.

By the time I was done, Kaoru came out looking refreshed and dressed for the day. "I'm hungry." She announced, grabbing her purse. "I'll take us to breakfast first – my treat."

Both Suzume and Ayame cheered at the mention of food. I couldn't help but smile at their enthusiasm. Breakfast sounded great. Picking up Suzume who wanted to be carried, we exited the house.

Dr. Gensai was in the hallway, an elderly woman standing next to her. "There you are, you two." He said, crossing over to us. I nodded my head at him in acknowledgement, as bowing was almost impossible with a child in my arms.

"What a cute couple you make." The woman said, with a twinkle in her eye. She was referring to Kaoru and I, of course. "If I didn't know better, I would have thought you two were husband and wife, and these were your children."

I wasn't the only one to blush this time: Kaoru was just as red.

"Kaoru-chan, is that your boyfriend?" She asked, ignoring me completely.

She shook her head, shy glancing at me out of the corner of her eye. "This is my _friend_, Himura Kenshin."

Finally, she looked at me. Her voice cracked when she spoke. "Himura Kenshin? Someone was by here this morning, looking for you."

I almost dropped Suzume, who cried out in protest, clutching around my neck tightly. Someone was looking for me? I didn't even get a chance to ask as she was back to speaking. "Such a handsome man, he was. A very beautiful-looking gaijin."

"G-gaijin?" I stammered, meeting Kaoru's worried look.

The woman nodded.

"What does he look like, Mayami-san?" Kaoru asked, anxiety evident in her voice.

Mayami thought about it for a moment before she broke into a smile. "He was tall and had blond hair. He wore all black and had sunglasses. I think he was an agent of the government."

An agent my ass.

"Where is he now?" I asked, daring to let my breath out.

"He left." She answered, a bit bewildered by our awkward questions.

My eyes roamed the area. Left? Right? Was he gone, or was he waiting for me downstairs? I gave her a shallow nod, biting the inside of my lip absently. I could not hide away forever – I was a man!

We bade them a good day and continued our way downstairs, crowding into the elevator, trying to shush the two children as they chatted loudly with each other. I panicked for a moment when I saw a man wearing sunglasses in the elevator. He did not have Kain's hair color or build, however, so I relaxed. He tilted his head in my direction, and I quickly averted my gaze. I did not want to be caught staring…but I couldn't help but wonder why someone would wear their sunglasses indoors.

It was when a woman came into the already crowded elevator and asked him to press a certain number, that I found out he was blind. So, I did the favor for him.

And luckily for me, Kain was no where to be seen when we exited the building. I did not need him on my case. Forgetting about him, as I did not want to ruin my whole morning, I buckled the two children in Kaoru's back seats and climbed into the seat beside her. She suddenly handed me the keys to her car.

"You said you drive." She said, answering my unasked question.

"Drove." I corrected. "I don't drive anymore."

She shrugged. "It doesn't mean you don't know how to."

I tried to hand the keys back to her. "Kaoru-san, I am not about to break the rules."

"I drive you everywhere!" She complained, mockingly. "It's your turn to drive me somewhere."

"I don't have my license on me." I said, fumbling for an excuse. It was not my car and if I crashed it, then I would have to pay for the fines.

Kaoru smirked. "Are you chicken?" She taunted.

Gee, and here I thought she was a mature woman. It was always my nature to rise up and grab bait whenever someone did that to me, but today, I did not let that get to me. "Yes, I'm chicken." I said, firmly, placing the keys in her hand.

A bit disappointed, she took the keys back and drove us to the nearest McDonald's she could find. Great, I didn't tell her that I was not fond of western fast food, but I had no say. It was probably her way to smite me for refusing her request for me to drive, and she'd probably just tell me that it was my fault for not taking the keys as she had asked me to.

I guess the children were happy with that choice, so I settled for a cup of tea and an egg sandwich. It was okay and at least I did not have trouble downing it as I always had a problem doing when I went to this particular restaurant.

For the most part, I watched as Kaoru chatted with the little ones. I could tell she was a great teacher with the way she got along with them just fine. I couldn't help but stare.

She was wearing a V-neck cream colored shirt. She wore no accessories, but even like that, she looked pretty. The loose strands of her hair fell around her gracefully when she shook her head. The smile that adorned her features was like a precious jewel, shining in the midst of coals. Her blue eyes were shining when she glanced up at me. "Kenshin? What's wrong?"

_Oh my god….._what was wrong with me? I quickly blinked and looked away. In my haste to keep a blush from spreading across my cheeks, I bumped my tea with my elbow, sending the whole cup crashing to the floor. A few drops splashed onto my jeans, but that wasn't a problem. At least her attention was now diverted to the mess on the floor.

And thus, breakfast ended terribly. But, with Kaoru, it was all the same, and she chatted away as if nothing had happened. Once again, she insisted I drive, assuring me that nothing would go wrong, and that her apartment was very close by. We stood in the parking lot arguing over it for a good fifteen minutes before she finally cajoled me into the driver's seat.

It had been years since I had last driven. Even the seat smelled like her. I breathed in the soft smell of Jasmine perfume that she wore, before I turned the ignition. Even though it was not the same car I used back then, the familiarity of it came flooding back.

She piped up beside me when we were five minutes away from her building. "Hey, Kenshin…..what were you thinking about earlier? Were you thinking about Kain?"

I shook my head, swiftly and steadily turning right at an intersection. "Actually, no….I was thinking about…..well…" I stared straight ahead. Damn, we had hit a red light.

"About?" She pressed. She had that worried look on her face again, with her eyebrows furrowing and her mouth turning down in a frown.

I looked back at her, almost shyly. "Well, about how pretty you look." I said truthfully. There was no beating around the bush or else I'd surely end up messing up my words and intentions.

Now, Kaoru blushed a bright pink. And here I thought she knew what I had been thinking. Great, my embarrassment was threatening to kill me. I wanted to disappear. It made it worse when Kaoru asked dumbly, "Really?"

I just nodded, fearing that I would botch anything I would try to respond.

Her cheeks were still pink. "Thank you." She said, quietly. She looked like she was going to say more, but she changed her mind and stayed silent.

Thankfully, I got us safely to her apartment in one piece. Right after dropping off the children, we decided to go to the market to fill the refrigerator with something. I stayed behind the wheel, at Kaoru's insistence. By that time, I didn't much care. I guess I enjoyed driving after the long while I had had a withdrawal.

She headed straight to the candy aisle. It seemed she had a sweet tooth – and here she complained about being fat. I sighed and pushed the grocery cart down the aisle to follow her. She dumped in a bag of Sweet Koko and three boxes of Pocky. "When I said food, I didn't mean junk." I pointed out, watching as she went to get a can of whipped cream. Most likely for those cookies – as if they weren't fattening enough.

She pouted. "I have a craving, okay. I always do when I get my period. I like to eat sweet stuff."

Great – that was unnecessary information. I could feel myself heat. She didn't seem to care, as she swept through the lane, picking out various candies. So I ended up doing all the real shopping. And when we were done, Kaoru paid for it all, as half of it would be eaten by her anyway.

I mean, I would never instant Tuna Casserole. That sounded horribly disgusting.

All in all, the experience was interesting. It felt almost normal, and it hit me, when we were driving back, that it had been the longest while since I had felt secure and comfortable with someone. She had made me feel happy and confident, and little by little I was coming out of my shell.

"Kaoru-san…." I murmured, when I parked the car once again by her building.

"Yes?" She looked up, her mouth already stuffed with her cookies, a can of mango juice in her hand.

I leaned over, wiping the corner of her mouth with my thumb, to take away a crumb. "Thank you."

She blinked up at me, clearly confused and surprised by my action. "Huh? What for?"

I smiled. I didn't bother to explain.

**To Be Continued…..

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**AN: **Okay, I really am sorry. Rummaging through old files, I found parts of this story again and it hit me: I haven't updated in a while! I realized that I'm terrible for not posting this even though I promised I'd re-post. I'll try to put everything up slowly as I recover the files. Until the next update ~

-Chiki


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